#working through some stuff

[i-am-da-bug]

[ineffectualdemon]

Orpheus doesn't look back.

He stands, one step from the entrance.

He doesn't look back.

"Please. Please look at me" Eurydice weeps behind him.

He doesn't look back.

"Why do you ask me to? In two steps you will be free of death and we can be together again. Yet all this way you have begged me to look." Orpheus asks.

But he doesn't look back.

"Because it is time. Time to put me behind you. I never wanted this. Not for you and not for us."

He feels Eurydice come closer, just at his back. Cold and smelling of the grave

He doesn't look back.

"Do you not love me? Would you not have done the same for me? I do this out of love for you! I do this for you!" His fists clench tight as tears trail down his face.

He doesn't look back.

"My love of course I love you! I loved you with every breath in my body when I was alive and I love you with every wisp of my being now. I love you so much that it tears me apart for you to chase the dead rather then continue with life."

He feels Eurydice's hand on his shoulder.

But he doesn't look back.

"I don't understand. You died too soon! You should want to come back to me! I don't understand." he confesses, the tears making his throat tight and his voice crack.

But he doesn't look back.

"I died young. I remember what a precious gift life is. How fleeting but bright it is. But I accept my death. I accept my time. But to see you squander your gift of life to chase what has already gone hurts me to my core. I don't belong out there anymore. But you still do."

Orpheus feels Eurydice rest her forehead against his back.

He doesn't look back.

"I can't live without you."

He doesn't look back.

"You can."

He doesn't look back.

"The pain will be unbearable."

He doesn't look back.

"You can bear it."

He doesn't look back.

"I don't want to say goodbye." He whispers, shaking from the tears that keep falling.

He doesn't look back.

"I know my love. But you must. It's time. It's time to see me for what I am. A memory. A ghost. It's time to walk into the light and live. For yourself and for me." She whispers in return.

He doesn't look back.

Orpheus takes a deep breath and wipes his face. Somehow he finds the strength to take a step to the entrance, into the light.

"I love you. I always will." He says.

He looks back.

[magiowlio]

sorry to anyone who’s still waiting for a request they sent me. I haven’t been able to draw recently without feeling horrible about it. I don’t want to post anything right now. I’m just working at it until I feel ok about my art again. it might take a bit for me to start posting stuff again

[thesoftestbloom]

I have a question about politics and this is probably gonna annoy people, but anyway, y'all follow me for raw unfiltered thoughts so I guess read at your own risk. All that being said....

I don't know what my political identity is, which annoys me because I know I'm leftist, but that's like saying "yeah I like music". I think I'm somewhere communist but every time I try talking about where my values lie, I'm always told that my "conception of (xyz political identity) is really uninformed". So often it feels like a lot of people assume that because I'm from the country, I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to politics.

Like I have issues with communism, anarchism, most of them to be honest, which mostly boils down to how there are often shortcomings with how they deal with greed. Because greed kept us alive as a fledgling species, yet so did compassion. But neither of this are in isolation and to me it seems that most people from various political backgrounds seem to think that their ideology will just take root and that people will live like it's always been.

To be clear, I don't like how most of the world we live in is governed, but it won't go away if your particular brand of revolution is successful. Those currently holding the power will just feel cheated. The world won't change overnight and I'm tired of so many people pretending it will.

I'm also tired of being so routinely dismissed as an unintelligent, ignorant country hick. I have good ideas, I have complex thoughts I want to share without people constantly responding with an air of patronisation. I don't know how to fix things, because realistically, I'm a working class 24 year old woman living pay cheque to pay cheque. I'm sick of the arrogance I am faced with whenever I try to engage with politics.

Anyway, have fun with this and weigh in with opinions if you like. At my core, I believe it's reductive to say that humanity is either inherently bad or inherently good. Yet I also believe that we should always be working towards helping out in all the small ways. I think everybody should be looked after and that we shouldn't be arcahically struggling to eat in the year of our lord 2025. I believe in freedom and equity, I believe in tolerance but I also believe that we can't just let harm slide. Idk, speculate about me if you like, I'm just frustrated and exasperated.

I'm very sorry for the long winded ramble.

[tainted-affair]

[chamomilewrites]

Had some pretty difficult stuff happen over the weekend and start of the week. Basically, someone very close to me - the closest, actually - who I trusted and who promised to not go searching for my tumblr account (this is my haven)....went and did exactly that. And had opinions.

And now I'm struggling to be on tumblr because all I can think is that they're on here and watching my every move.

So...yeah. We talked it out but honestly still feeling pretty ick about it. After some time they said they loved it and found it inspiring, and wanted me to share it more with them. But...they promised. And I wasn't ready. I told them I'd show it to them when I was comfortable with the idea. And they went behind my back and sneaked on my computer for the blog name.

I need some time before I can write again in the happy bubble this page used to be for me.

[queerasflux]

a letter to my inner child

I pick you up babybird with broken wing kitten starving for milk pathetic creature left alone

i bring you home and warm you hold you to my breast like I can teach you what HOME means cradle you and tell you I know It Was Never Okay You Do Not Have to Be Okay

you tears flow and flow and flow and I am afraid we will drown I cling to you like a life raft you pour out the poison in your wound

we weather it together, gasping for breath above the tears like each one will be the last each sob smashes us upon the rocks and I fold myself around you you will not hurt again

you try to fight me to break away this is too painful no, my dear, my love, my only, I say to you sweet thing

you are no monster you are no toxin come to ruin no miasma sneaking your way into the lungs and homes of people to kill them in the night

you were never such a thing your milkteeth could not have cut them as they say they did you had no claws yet so how could you maim?

I love you I love you I love you I scream over the howling wind of our pain I will keep trying I will get better I will keep trying even if it kills me

even if I kill you you ask voice small and harsh and I say yes even if you kill me I will still love you I will still care for you I will come back a thousand thousand times for you you were always enough

and your sobs are eternal and they are unending and they are already done and passing I see the lighthouse above the waves and I hold you ever closer well done I say well done you did so well

and thank you for holding the flood long enough for me to take my first breath I love you I love you I love you

it was never your burden to bear you were never a sinner and never a sin

you are the joy of creation and the pride of the universe your breath is a revolution and your scars are a story

we lay together on the shore you lay on my chest I brush your sea-salt sorrow from you I kiss you hello I kiss you goodnight

this will happen again and next time it will still hurt and you are worth it you were always worth it I love you goodnight.

[yaboisoph]