#our inner conflicts

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Stormy landscape by Penry Williams (1855-1885) :: [Guillaume Gris]

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To experience conflicts knowingly, though it may be distressing, can be an invaluable asset. The more we face our own conflicts and seek out our own solutions, the more inner freedom and strength we will gain. Only when we are willing to bear the brunt can we approximate the ideal of being the captain of our ship. A spurious tranquillity rooted in inner dullness is anything but enviable. It is bound to make us weak and an easy prey to any kind of influence. — Karen Horney M.D., Our Inner Conflicts: A Constructive Theory of Neurosis (1945)

[alive on all channels]

[harrypotterhousequotes]

RAVENCLAW: "Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist." –Karen Horney (Our Inner Conflicts)

[quotesincolors]

[modernshxmxn]

An alcoholic,…in his idealized image, aggressive tendencies were merely a natural ingredient of a forceful personality. The most prominent feature, however, was goodness—there had not been anyone so good as he since St. Francis, and never had there been such an ideal friend. Was the projection, then, a sop to his idealized image? Certainly! But it also permitted him to live out his aggressive trends without becoming aware of them and so being confronted with his conflicts. Here was a person caught in an unsolvable dilemma. He could not relinquish his aggressive trends because they were of a compulsive nature. Neither could he abandon his idealized image, for it was what held him together. The projection was a way out of the dilemma. It thus represented an unconscious duplicity: it enabled him to assert all his arrogant demands and to be at the same time the ideal friend.

Karen Horney M.D., Our Inner Conflicts: A Constructive Theory of Neurosis (1945)  

[modernshxmxn]

Resistance is a collective term for all the forces within the patient that operate to maintain the status quo. Their incentive, on the other hand, is produced by the constructive energy that urges them on toward inner freedom. This is the motive power with which we work and without which we could do nothing. It is the force that helps the patient overcome resistance. It makes their associations productive, thereby giving the analyst a chance for better understanding. It gives them the inner strength to endure the inevitable pain of maturing. It makes them willing to take the risk of abandoning attitudes that have given them a feeling of safety and to make the leap into the unknown of new attitudes toward themselves and others. The analyst cannot drag the patient through this process; the patient themselves must want to go. It is this invaluable force that is paralyzed by a condition of hopelessness. And in failing to recognize and tackle it the analyst deprives themselves of their best ally in the battle against the patient's neurosis.

Karen Horney M.D., Our Inner Conflicts: A Constructive Theory of Neurosis (1945)

[thepathtoconsciousness-blog]

Fear

Fear is my biggest enemy. 

Fear causes me to hide away from the things I want the most. It is a human disease with no outside cure. Fear, from what I have read, can only be cured from within. By bringing to light your fears, you will be able to conquer them. 

I've been reading a book called "Our Inner Conflicts" by Karen Horney, MD. It is an old book and references Freud often. The chapter I am on now is all about fears and what fear does to human beings. One paragraph stuck out to me as I was reading yesterday on the subway. 

"They do not dare to expect anything of others or to set high goals for themselves. They do not dare to approach people who seem superior to them in any way; they do not dare to express an opinion even though they may have a real contribution to make; they do not dare to exercise creative abilities even when they have them; they do not dare to make themselves attractive, to try to impress, to seek a better position, and so on and so on. When tempted to reach out in any of these directions the ghastly prospect of ridicule holds them back and they take refuge in reserve and dignity". 

When I think about all the points she has made I realize that I could put myself into those descriptions. I fear not being liked. I fear disappointing others, especially those closest to me. Fear is so crippling!!

I am still not sure exactly how to conquer these fears (step 1, step 2, etc). I wish it were that easy. All I know is that I am aware of some of my fears and it is my duty as a human to face my fears and absolve them. And this requires courage and strength. Where does one find that courage and strength? Does it come with adversity? Or stubbornness? 

I guess for now I will try, in little ways, to dominate the fears I have acknowledged. Baby steps.