Jan 23
All the blogs are dead.
seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from China
seen from France
seen from T1
seen from Ireland
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from T1
seen from Malaysia
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Japan
seen from China
seen from Germany
All the blogs are dead.
I was not ready to be positively talked about twice in the same 24 hours.
Following a meme on Discord --
Tomorrow is Cyber End Tuesday.
Your muse gets to catch a break. Let them go have a nice meal somewhere. Treat themselves to something nice.
This is going to be a rant about my personal life. Do feel free to ignore, triggering material suggested and/or mentioned.
These last few weeks have been hard on me quite a lot.
I rarely feel like I need to cry to let loose, but I've felt that lately and not just because of stress.
For those of you who don't know, I am an Israeli man, living in Israel and suffering the repercussions of the Israeli war against Iran, firsthand (if this is grounds for you to unfollow, go ahead).
I got drafted for an unclear amount of time, so I had to leave my house at 3 AM in the morning, get on my uniform that I had stored in the back of my closet, and leave off to spend the following weeks with my assigned unit of people who, were also called at an hour's notice to gather and prepare themselves.
But Iran has been bombing Israel a lot lately. And in these bombings, I lost my apartment.
Effectively, this means I don't have a place for myself anymore, and on the two times I got to go catch a break off-base, I had to leech off my parents. And I absolutely hate doing that. It places me in a bad mindset, and I fear returning to being a needy kid. I'm more or less independent (still need help with things) and I'm afraid that staying at my folks' would turn me back a few phases.
But to make matters worse, I just feel like such an outsider in my unit. I am almost never turned to or counted on, and in conversations where everyone jiving, I don't really seem to find my place. I just feel kinda like I don't belong.
I want to know I'm wanted and important to them, pretty badly. But I'm doubting that and it's really sparking my social anxiety back to gear, which hasn't happened in a while, honestly.
So I'm left in a situation where I feel like I can't fit in (even though I sort of get by); I don't have a home to return to, and my stay in the military rescue unit is indefinite as of now. Add to that, I can't take care of my home situation because I'm effectively stuck in military 24/7, and the 24 hours I do get to breathe I need to go somewhere I'm having personal doubts about.
It kinda sucks. Like I've seen messages of people on Tumblr asking for help and donations because they're being evicted out of their houses by their landlords -- but this time it's straight up "BOOM. You don't have a house now". No donation or anything can mitigate that.
I mostly wanted to let out my feelings concerning how I feel left out, and how they all seem to have so much fun. And it's painful.
That's about it, I think. It's hard to stay positive when your mind is eating away at you.
It's dash's fault but I now ship spiritshipping
Also I watched KPDH when I was mad depressed.
The result is obvious.
I too caught the KPDH virus.
I promise you, I am occasionally a serious rp blog.
Zane dies a virgin because you lose your virginity and Zane doesn't lose.