Yesterday I turned 50...
On July 11th I turned 50. Since then, I’ve been sharing daily snippets of wisdom and random musings over on my biz FB page. Didn’t want to leave anyone out, so I am reposting them here.
(original post July 12)
Yesterday I turned 50. I spent the day watching my daughter play basketball and spending time with the 2 most important people in my life. Dave and Anya.
We spend time doing this in the summer...basketball. It got me to thinking about the things I did with my Mom growing up, and how grateful I was for that time.
I’ve seen a lot of life in the last 50 years...learned lessons, made memories, counted mistakes. I’ve learned that we tend to focus on negative things in our day. We try to blame people in our life for our own inadequacies. It seems easier to complain than to simply CHOOSE to be a calming, positive presence.
In my 20s I’ll admit I was a bit of a hot head. It took many years to learn to control my emotions when something happened that disappointed me or didn’t go as I thought it should. Usually with professors, people working in restaurants or stores. My hot headedness rarely came out with my family or friends. But when it did, it was like a slow simmer to an explosion.
Now, 30 years later, I can’t remember one of those frustrations. The lesson? They didn’t matter. At all. I’m glad my issues didn’t cause the breakdown of any important relationships.
I’m 50. I still need my Mom. I still value my brothers existence in my life. I still have great memories with friends...who are still my friends.
My family modeled for me the notion to choose your battles. We are not a very emotional group. Our home - the one with my Mom and grandparents - never had yelling or disrespect (outside of my teenage years, of course). My Mom modeled for me to do what you can to maintain peace in the home...Be careful who you battle with and what you battle about. Being right doesn’t mean winning...and winning doesn’t mean proving a point or engaging in an argument that ultimately will create unrepairable hurt feelings.
So on this first day in my 50s, I share this life lesson with you. Be slow to anger. In frustrating situations CHOOSE to be the calming force that settles the frustration. CHOOSE relationships over your definition of being right.