July has been a rollercoaster. I love my country, I hate my city, I love my people, I hate masses. I dream of a life with meaning and purpose, one where I can realize myself as a designer, where I contribute to a better world through my actions but living in one of the most crowded, polluted, corrupt, unsafe and stressful cities in the world doesn’t add up. I’m thinking moving abroad and fighting for my idea of happiness, of a better living but everything is so blurry. Where should I go? Will it be a realization of my dream or just a scape from reality? Will I ever come back? Will I drag my family (partner & doggie) against their desires of fullfillment?
Don’t get me wrong, I adore my culture, my flavors, my colors and the fact that we are one of the happiest countries in the world despite all the negativity. I feel happy living here, it’s just I’m overwhelmed. I personally don’t consider happy spending 3 to 5 hours everyday in traffic, walking the street filling my lungs with polluted air and being trapped in a corrupt system where politicians are just absurd and poverty is everywhere. I want a safe environment, a safe life.
All I can do is focus on everything that is within the reach of my actions, and my reality, try to make the best out of my life and against all odds, feel and be happy within chaos.