ethereal

a millennial's journey

[iseloo]

As a little girl I remember waiting for mom and dad to come back from work. They would always arrive so tired and instead of just crushing into the couch, watching TV and preparing to rest, they would sacrifice their free time to spend with my brother and me. 

I just turned 4 months into my job and oh boy I feel so tired. I just realized how being an adult feels like and the fact that I will have to sweat blood until I can have any vacation time. It’s the first time in my life that I realize that I can’t quit and go back to college days when everything was so fun, no worries but what you want to explore and learn. I realize that the future me is being shaped by what I am doing right now and how much I am sacrificing right now. 

Some days I wake up 5am and work from 7:30 to 5:00, others till 8:30, the optimistic days i’ll work 9 hours in a comfy office with music and friends, coffee and close from home. Other days I’ll cross all Mexico City from south to way up north and be in the factory, go to meetings, direct furniture installation and en uf tired af. And some days I want to just quit, rest and sleep. But I wont. 

It’s funny how I have to everyday have this strong mental therapy for me to keep going, keep learning, keep fighting because I know this will all be worth in satisfaction and happiness in the future and I am working oh boy so so hard for it to become a reality. I will become the most shining beautiful diamond I’ve ever seen. 

[iseloo]

There’s nothing but noise around us. We make noise to make ourselves present, to avoid being left aside from friends, family, the people we need to impress to get the next big promotion at work, etc. We are so used to being surrounded by car horns, airplanes, people chatting on the bus or subway that we block this sensation of being overwhelmed by escaping into our mind through music, podcasts, social media browsing and by this we fall into the eternal cycle of comparing our lives and ourselves to that of our friends, or our so called friends. 

Right now my noise is intermittent, somedays it feels like LaLaLand’s “Another day of sun” where I feel unstoppable and capable of letting this 20 something crisis be the best thing that has ever happened to me. Other days I feel like just rainforest sounds, nature sounds and eternal moodica wandering. Today I feel like Ólafur Andals nordic perpetual calm (also I have the flue and not a single bit of energy haha) just feel like doing absolutely nothing else but reading and having warm tea. Enjoying what I like the most: re encountering myself and my mind, wandering in my thoughts and finding answers in my spirit. Enjoying right here, right now with just the right amount of noise. 

Picture: Noise Studies. Made with Processing and its noise() function. © Diana Lange. 2013.

[iseloo]

July has been a rollercoaster. I love my country, I hate my city, I love my people, I hate masses. I dream of a life with meaning and purpose, one where I can realize myself as a designer, where I contribute to a better world through my actions but living in one of the most crowded, polluted, corrupt, unsafe and stressful cities in the world doesn’t add up. I’m thinking moving abroad and fighting for my idea of happiness, of a better living but everything is so blurry. Where should I go? Will it be a realization of my dream or just a scape from reality? Will I ever come back? Will I drag my family (partner & doggie) against their desires of fullfillment? 

Don’t get me wrong, I adore my culture, my flavors, my colors and the fact that we are one of the happiest countries in the world despite all the negativity. I feel happy living here, it’s just I’m overwhelmed. I personally don’t consider happy spending 3 to 5 hours everyday in traffic, walking the street filling my lungs with polluted air and being trapped in a corrupt system where politicians are just absurd and poverty is everywhere. I want a safe environment, a safe life.  

All I can do is focus on everything that is within the reach of my actions, and my reality, try to make the best out of my life and against all odds, feel and be happy within chaos. 

[iseloo]

Quick reflection on self. 

It’s funny how as I adult I seek for a life with more meaning. I used to think that happiness was found on the achievements I accomplished through good grades, good behavior, having the right friends, going out clubbing, being the cool kid, etc. and after finishing college and realizing life is everyone for their own I got to woke up. I want a life with meaning, one that reflects who I am and what I stand for in this planet and this life. 

So, this is me: I love art, I get extremely inspired with the contemplation of  stroke on canvas, I get goosebumps when explaining a painting or the process that the artist experienced to get that masterpiece. I love exchanging thoughts on aesthetics, spiritual beliefs and experiences, philosophy and architecture. I love the design process, the inspiration, creation and implementation of a project, I adore the smell of fresh cut grass. Sometimes I can get lost trying to be perfect and then I remember I’m human. 

If money and time didn’t matter I would travel everywhere, I would learn hebrew and japanese, I would save every single stray dog out there, I would grow my own food, I would have a green house. I would take every single art course and visit all the museums in the world and I would spend every Sunday with my family watching a sunset with beer and wine. I would spread more love and take care of the earth. 

I’m only 25 and for me is a blessing that I know what I like but I’m still on the path of finding who I am or getting to know me better because I’m always evolving and transforming. I’ve just started meditating and listening more, I’m in a constant search of learning more and more, I’m always curious and hungry (that’s literal haha) and the most important thing, I’m in peace and happy, this as a result of self reflection and detachment of material things. I’m so thankful I get today to make at least one of the experiences above and then tomorrow I get today and so on until one day I get no more. Knowing that is what keeps me on the ground and grounded. 

Society is blaming fault on us millennials of everything that goes wrong but I think we are the ones that are going to save the world and remember everyone what being human means, what being kind means, what tolerance, empathy, love and respect mean. But most of all, we are going to die happy. 

[iseloo]

Rainy days, foggy feelings. 

Artwork by Pilar de Ariño Instagram: @pilardearino 

[iseloo]

Love people &use things, the opposite will never work.

It’s funny how the more time we spend with someone we love can unleash certain behaviors that get on our nerves. My boyfriend and I moved in 6 months ago and it has been a wild journey because we are both of strong character, we both are scorpios, and well that might tell you something. Yesterday we got into a huge fight over a stupid comment and I just felt heartbroken on how easy everything goes down. This morning I left the house with a feeling of emptiness and confusion, but on my way to work I meditated about forgiveness to self and others. It’s just easy to lose one’s stability but It’s also good to fall down on a pit and fight your way back into the open, back into light. Today I start this journey to find my light, my moto and build a stronger skin where I decide which battles to fight. Life is a series of never ending circles and it’s up to us to take the best of each loop. 

[iseloo]

Today was my first day at my new job where I’ll be working as a Jr. Designer doing wood furniture and interiors. I think of it as my dream job and after two years of doing something I don’t like and bearing the mistreats of the industry I finally got to choose who I want to give my time (aka life) to. So yes, I had the guts of choosing and here I am, starting a new journey and I know it will be amazing. 

[iseloo]

Today I unwrapped my yoga mat after 2 1/2 years of leaving my practice and I filled with joy and peace. I am starting a journey where I urge to get into action all the knowledge I’ve gained concerning healthy eating habits (I’m considering turning vegetarian and exploring vegan recipes), local consumption, ethical living and meditation. Im so aware of all the crap that is happening in the world for quite some time but feel like I’ve been denying because #comfortzone you know? and this kind of thinking is not helping at all so June will be detox and reset month. Namaste motherfuckers.   

[iseloo]

Hello Tumblr

So this is my first post, happens to be really accurate timing since it’s also my first day of transitioning to a new cycle in my life: a new job. I think social networks are not to be taken really serious but I know you can find so much empathy around here so I’ll give it a try and share my thoughts, lifestyle, sunny and rainy days as I stumble through adulthood.