#p negative

[trashwithadiploma]

sometimes it feels like all my memories are overshadowed by my,,, issues,,, and it rly bums me out.

like, oh yeah I did go to college for years and so much happened! but all I can remember is sitting on my floor trying to find out how hard it is to get a gun! or studying about the likelihood of overdose!! or making the most dumbass tiny scars with a stupidly rusty box cutter!!!

i got big upset earlier today and had to take a seat. just felt like my whole life.

[gothlois]

[athenaed]

just saw a pic of someone smoking and lmao i’m having a crisis

i hate smoking!!!! i hate cigarettes !!!! i hate everything that is even remotely connected to it and usually i’m fine like ~whatever~ let people do what they want, live and let live

but now....... because of family matters (that i don’t feel comfortable discussing rn) i hate it even more and this fucking photo is like. i don’t want to say triggering because i know that triggers are serious stuff but.

anyway i really hate it and now i feel like crying :))))

[kusariyarou]

I haven't broken down sobbing like this in a long time. No, it isn't about RP. You're all sweet people and your words mean a lot, I just really freaking hate myself and I'm lonely as hell. Everything just went crashing down today after I got home from my job. I really only like myself there but maybe that's just because I'm too busy to notice how much I suck.

You don't even ask me how I'm doing anymore...

I have no idea, they just won't stop coming out. I don't know what's even bothering me the most.

[adaptive--manipulator]

wish list for 2015:

stop crying every time i look at my face or body

stop crying in general

stop being so fucking lazy

eat less, exercise more

be useful

actually do something to help people

be a good friend/daughter/lover/person in general

go back to self-punishment methods

be a fucking good person

stop being so shy and get up my ass to actually make a friend

change

fucking be a good person

dont be a pig

stop being useless

make people laugh

BE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON

man the fuck up

stop being selfish

stop being a coward

practice art and writing bcs i suck at it

change my entire personality

get a magnus shirt

be a better person

sTOP SCREWING UP

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE JUST PLEASE LET ME BE A GOOD PERSON 

[lostinthegraveyard-blog]

It's times like this that I am seriously ashamed of my own country. 

[having-an-existential-crisis]

today is my biological dad's birthday. I haven't talked to him in at least three years now, maybe four, I kind of lost count. I always thought of this day as fucking awful because I'm reminded that he exists. I hate how I still wonder where he is or if I'll ever end up running into him, I wonder what my half siblings are up to, I wonder what they know about me, or what the other half of my "family" thinks of me, how I'll never really have a relationship with them.

I hope they only contact me to tell me when my father dies, so I can forget his birthday and forget him all together.

[agentfantail-archive-blog]

Sometimes I think I'm over my identity crisis, then I'm alone for a long period of time and it comes right back and makes sure to kick me in the face.