Nothing's Gonna Tear Us Apart || Andi & Jayce
Never in his life had Jayce felt this emotion. It was a mixture of excitement, nerves, three years of pent up frustration, and confidence. It was like he was bursting at the seems like Harley right before he was going to get fed. There was no stopping him now. Jayce unlocked his front door, ignoring his dog’s greeting for the first time in his life, too eager to get into his house in order to do what he should have done years ago. he looked behind his shoulder just enough to catch a glance at Andi as he shut the door behind him. With their time off between shows, Jayce figured they could stay at his place in London until they needed to move on to the next place. ”I think my laptop’s in the graffiti room, c’mon we can do it in here.” He rushed through the maze of hallways that always made him unsure as to why he had bought such a large house that most all would call mansion. When Loki popped up, Jayce remembered. He remembers the realtor explaining after the walk through how this was so large and in such a semi-rural area outside of the city, that it would work well for a family, though he looked a little young for that. The house was off the market by the evening.
"I sort of told Aaron that he needs to come over in like 20 minutes. I need him to be here after." Jayce stopped once they reached the inside of the room, cartoons and spray painted superheroes scattered across the walls to the point where almost no white was visible. His words were hardly a request, more of a informing. There was no way that Jayce could see himself doing this if he was without his best mate. They had been through way too much shit for him not to be there for one of the largest events of his short life. Even when Aaron was a little fuck he was still looking out for Jayce and there was nothing in the world that he wouldn’t give up for that.
Jayce turned to look at Andi and took a deep breath. ”We’re actually going to do this.” He took the younger boy’s face in his hands gently, staring between his eyes powerfully before letting on hand settle behind his head to cradle. ”No matter what happens, I’m not going anywhere, you understand?”
Despite Izzy telling him over and over there was nothing to be nervous or worry about, there was still a little part of Andi that was nervous. It wasn’t just confessing a massive secret to a few people and getting it done with. It was confessing a massive secret to basically the entire world and he knew he wouldn’t be able to get away from it once it was out. However, unlike the first time he came out, he was finally doing this his own way and wasn’t alone either. Another difference is how badly he wanted this and how badly he wanted to be free with Jayce. Breaking out of his thoughts, Andi followed his boyfriend into the familiar house. He nodded his head as he trailed after Jayce into the other male’s prized graffiti room, remembering spending endless nights silently watching his boyfriend in his zone with so much fond in his heart he could muster before it exploded. His heart thumped with each step he took, excitement and anxiousness taking over his body because in a matter of minutes the world will know that Andi Tate is gay and happy and in love with his boyfriend Jayce Sheffield. He was going to be able to say all this out loud and be proud of it all without the constant need to hide it, the nerves slowly easing away into more excitement and anxiousness.
When Loki came into view, Andi didn’t hesitate to pick up his little baby and press a kiss to Loki’s face. “That’s okay, love. I’ll need Iz when we’re done. I know I’ll need her when we’re done.” He stated as he stepped in after Jayce into his boyfriend’s graffiti room, carefully putting Loki down. This was something too big to not have Izzy around; too big to not have his sister around. She was without a doubt his biggest supporter since they met and the amount of pride and love she had for him was something he always cherished. He wanted to be able to confess and see her face right after to see how proud she really was of him to do it and be in her embrace when she told him she was. He wanted nothing more to make his sister and new family proud with anything he did. This was the first start.
Andi gave Jayce a breathless smile as the other male turned around to look at him, blinking back tears when his boyfriend placed his hands gently on Andi’s face. Andi nodded his head, smile growing. “We really are doing this, yeah.” He honestly couldn’t believe he was in this position and not alone, being blessed with the most amazing boyfriend. Andi nodded again, letting out a small laugh. “I’m not going anywhere either. I promise you — in this together.”
Jayce took in a sharp breath and pressed their foreheads together, closing his eyes so that he could take in the silence that surrounded the two of them before it all erupted. His body was calm, like it almost always was when he was around Andi, and for the first time during the day, so was his head. Seeing that his boyfriend was just about as confident as he was had Jayce feeling like he could take on the world. In a way he sort of was, and the audience that he was about to reach was a number that hardly any person would be able to say they had the ability to do. There was no way that Jayce was about to overwhelm himself by overthinking the situation and taking notice of silly things like the views that this was about the gather. No, he needed to focus on Andi and keeping his head clear and heart full.
"I sort of assumed that Iz would demand to come with him anyway, so we can have a sort of celebratory take away or something." One more deep breath. "I love you, more than I ever thought that I ever could with a person. You’ve made me a better man and I don’t think you realize that half the time. My life will never be the same, and not because of what we’re about to do, but because of why. You’re everything to me. This isn’t just a one way street, you don’t just love me. I’m in love with you Andi. Someone loves you other with everything that they have other than your family and I can’t imagine how that must hit you. It hits me and I’m not even in your shoes.” Jayce pulled away and walked towards his futon sofa, patting the seat next to him and opening up the laptop. ”I want for this to be perfect. I need it to be. I needeveryone to know how much I love you and I need to be able to be us. You’re an amazing person and it’s time that I get the ability to say that. So thank you for agreeing to this and for just loving me.”
Andi’s eyes immediately fluttered shut as Jayce pressed their foreheads together, feeling serene whenever he was in any kind of intimate position with his boyfriend. He took in a deep breath and let himself just feel the moment for a little bit, wanting to buy a little time before the two dropped the news on to their fans. By this time tomorrow, The Infinity fans and the rest of the world would know that Andi was gay, but they also would know that Andi is Jayce’s boyfriend and remembering the other male would be by his side no matter would help cushion any blow Andi received from his confession. He wasn’t sure when it will finally hit him that the two are actually going against management and their contract and able to be free in the public eye, no more watching their backs so nothing was discovered. He was feeling incredibly brave and knowing his boyfriend was there only made him braver, knowing the choice he was making wasn’t only right for them, but also himself.
"She knows what’s going down right now so I think even if I didn’t ask her to come, she’d come anyway. It’s kind of like our first double date with the losers, yeah?" Andi’s eyes opened slowly as he heard Jayce take in a deep breath. Each word that came out of his boyfriend’s mouth hit Andi’s heart in the best way possible, not bothering to hide how it affected him. "I never thought I’d be as lucky to have someone like you. I don’t doubt for a second that you love me, but you’re an incredible man no matter what you think or say. I think the best of you because I know the best of you. I’m so in love with you and I can’t believe I can finally let anyone know this. You’re my world, my boyfriend, my best friend and I’m blessed everyday, love.” He followed Jayce to the couch and sat beside the spot the other male patted. “Please, don’t thank me. I want to finally be who I am and I want us to be us. I want people to know I love this beautiful man so much. Falling for you was one of the easiest things I’ve ever wanted to do.” Andi reached forward to press his lips against Jayce’s briefly, before pulling away and biting his lip anxiously. “We’re gonna be okay, yeah?”
Hearing all that Andi had to say made Jayce that much more impatient. There were times where he wished he was able to record what he had heard in order to play it back when he was feeling low or without the boy next to him where he could just ask to hear it back. This time however, he would have what he wished for: a record of their declaration. Thedeclaration. There was really no way that the two could screw it up, as long as they spoke from the heart and made sure to touch all of the major points that they wanted to include. After that, it was the celebration and all you could eat take away with their best mates.
"We’re gonna be the best we’ve ever been," Jayce leaned up to place a kiss to Andi’s cheek quickly. After only a few seconds he managed to bring up the webcam and software to record. He stared at the image of the two staring back at him and he quickly adjusted his shirt, though it was more out of nerves then necessity. "Alright, um. I’ve sort of thought of what I wanted to say, but I’m just gonna kind of go with the flow. Say stuff about the contract, how much I love you, how we’re prepared for whatever comes out of this, the typical stuff. Am I missing anything big? Like I’m not entirely sure what you want to say and - I’m sorry, I’m just sort of nervous now." Jayce gave a anxious laugh before looking at Andi with a vulnerable smile. Being able to look at his boyfriend gave Jayce that instant hit of calmness and serenity. It was almost as addicting as the drugs that he and Aaron hit off of or the pack of fags that he was no very aware of in his pocket. Taking them out, he threw them on the floor next to the sofa. "Actually, can we sit on the floor? I’m never on this couch when I’m in here, I’m always on the floor. Can we-can we do that? Like lean against the couch? Then we can start, I just want to sit like that instead."
"No more hiding; no more secrets. It’s just us being us for once." Andi stated, still feeling that sense of braver and this was the first time he really understood what Jayce meant by the whispered brave all those weeks ago. It wasn’t a front that he was putting on for the sake of a show, he truly felt brave at this point. Even if the world was planning on hurting him or did down the road like in the past, nothing could touch him right now and he knew that he’d be okay in the end. Once they did this, there would be no going back after they did this and Andi knew the second it was posted, he wouldn’t want to. He’d eat take away with his sister, his best mate, and his boyfriend and a weight would be off his shoulders.
Andi knew his boyfriend long enough to easily catch the nervous ticks the other male had. It was in the way he set up the laptop and fixed himself once the webcam came into view. Jayce was always the one brave for the both of them when Andi could feel all his insecurities creeping up on him. The tables were kind of turning and Andi didn’t mind being the brave one this time. Without hesitation, Andi reached for Jayce’s hand and laced their fingers together, bringing the older male’s hand to his lips and placing a kiss on the bird tattoo there. “Don’t be sorry, okay? This … This is massive. We both know this is massive. Having a general idea of what to say is good so we don’t get off track, but also going with the flow is more of going with our hearts, you know? We … We got this, babe.” He pressed another kiss against the back of Jayce’s hand, giving the other male a gentle squeeze that he hoped was comforting. Andi nodded his head quickly at Jayce’s request, wanting to make his boyfriend as comfortable and less nervous as possible. He didn’t waste time sliding on to the floor of the graffiti room and leaning back against the couch, not letting their hands part. “I love you so much. We got this. There’s no doubt about it.”
Jayce nodded several times as he took the opportunity to pump himself back up. He wanted this, and so did Andi, so let’s do it. ”We do have this.” Jayce closed his eyes and took in the silence once more, preparing himself mentally for what he was about to do. In a moments time he was picturing when he had asked out Andi at the Drake concert years ago, their first date, kiss, time having sex, saying I love you, signing the contract- That was what stopped Jayce and made his eyes open, determined.
Pressing the start button, he instantly smiled into the camera. ”Hey this is Jayce, and I’ve got Andi here with me.” He pointed to the boy next to him, taking just a split second to stop and admire the look that his boyfriend gave. ”The two of us have got some pretty big news that we want to share with you all.” For the last time, Jayce looked to Andi in order to give him one last opportunity to opt out. ”Since being put together as a band, the five of us have all grown to be like brothers, but us two…well we don’t exactly share the same love. In a few weeks it will be our third year together as partners.” Jayce let the words hang in the air, waiting for Andi to take over because holy shit, he really said that. And it wasn’t like they were doing this live on a twitcam of some sort, but fuck if it fell like it.
"We do have to this. For you, for me, for our sanity, for our happiness." He hoped the words he’s been speaking and the way he showed his affection toward his boyfriend helped the older male calm down a bit. He absorbed the silence for a few seconds before the two had to get everything out in the open. He was ready for the questions he would get; asking about how they started dating or their first date and he knew he and Jayce would be private about most things, but Andi also knew that he’d be willng to give away details on some things happily.
Andi took in a deep breath as Jayce started the video up, taking charge and starting to speak. When he heard his boyfriend point out that he was there with him, Andi gave a little wave and not fighting the growing smile taking over his face. He felt the older male’s eyes on him and Andi looked at Jayce, giving their tangled hands that were out of view of the camera a squeeze of encouragement. There wasn’t anything in Andi that wanted him to back out of this. He could be nervous or anxious and nothing would make him decide this was a bad idea. He felt a little guilty that he was giving everything over to Jayce, but he was a bit overwhelmed to speak as if the fans were hearing everything they spoke right in that second. Once the secret left Jayce’s mouth, Andi leaned forward to smush his face against Jayce’s shoulder, trying to conceal his massive smile.
He picked his head up a few seconds later, knowing that he should give some input in even though the secret had finally been out. “We … We didn’t want anymore hiding and it was getting harder and harder to make believe that … that we didn’t love each other or that we were who we weren’t. No one should hide who they are and we just … just couldn’t do that to ourselves anymore. I know for a fact that I didn’t want to hide the fact that I’m … gay or that I’m in love with this beautiful and incredible man that I’ve been blessed to have in my life.” Andi gave Jayce a quick worried look, not sure if the direction he took was appropriate or only messed his boyfriend up.
If Jayce thought he was excited before, he didn’t even know what to name his emotions right then. All his nerves were gone and replaced with playfulness. Jayce had to hold himself back from attacking the boy with kisses and hugs. He’d let himself go when they were done with the serious talk. Jayce wasn’t sure that Andi would approve of showing that kind of affection on screen so soon, but he had waited far too long and really, what would a cute affection attack hurt at a time like this? Focus Jayce, keep the words going, worry about being adorable later.
Andi’s expression had Jayce want to pull him close and tell him over and over that his words were nothing short of perfect. That he was /more/ than proud at how Andi had expressed himself. Jayce only hoped that he could do half as good as his boyfriend sat next to him. “The same goes for me,” he jumped in, smile as bright as the sun to mirror the warmth Jayce had gained from Andi. “This one is my other half and even though we’re going to be in a world of trouble for this, we think that it’s important for us as a couple to come out and to also stand brave for those who are in the same situation as we are, or were rather. To those of you who continue to support us, we could never thank you enough. However, we do realize that not everyone is going to be on board with this regardless of the times that we’re living in and we’ve prepared ourselves for it, as everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs.” Jayce nodded to the camera, a typical Sheffield mannerism.
Andi couldn’t keep his eyes off of Jayce as the other male spoke about their situation even more. He could stare for as long as he wanted without the need of covering it up that his heart eyes were bigger than the moon. He loves listening to his boyfriend speak, his heart swelling even more when he heard the words Jayce spoke about him and now so publicly too. He wasn’t ever going to get used to that and it was more than okay with Andi.
Breaking out of his thoughts, Andi decided it was a good time for him to speak up again. He looked back at the laptop and gave the camera a warm smile. “This is extremely important to the both of us. We know that we’re taking a really big risk with this video, but … we’re happy and we’re happy with each other. We wouldn’t be doing all this if we weren’t serious about this, you know?” Andi reached the back of his neck with his free hand, still realizing that he wasn’t one for words and he wasn’t sure if his rambles made sense. “None of you can answer that, but if you’re watching this and you’re still here and supporting us … thank you so much. You don’t understand how much your support means to us before this announcement and after it.” Andi paused for a bit before continuing. “Jayce is my world and I love him with my entire being. I hope you guys can understand that.” Squeezing Jayce’s hand gently, Andi looked back at Jayce with his squinty eyed smile that was reserved just for his boyfriend, endless amount of fond and love in his eyes.
For a moment Jayce simply got lost in Andi’s gaze. He knew that he’d probably get flack from the guys on how much he was being so sickeningly lovely, but at the moment he didn’t care. That was how Jayce felt, totally, fully, outrageously in love and so he was going to act on his emotions no matter how public a time it may be. Jayce was a man who wore his heart on his sleeve, no amount of fame or attention would be able to change that part of him.
Once he snapped out of his trance, Jayce realized that it was about time for them to wrap things up. ”Nothing in this world besides my little sister could make me as happy as this man right here does. Like he said, to those sticking around before and after, thank you. We have the best fans in the world, no matter what you think of this news. And please don’t give any of our other bandmates hate for this. The band will always be about our music, and we will continue to see that that’s our main focus.” Jayce let out a deep breath, smile still competing with the sun. ”Another thank you from the two of us, but now…” He turned to look at Andi, eyes glistening with love and mischief. ”We’ve got a little something to celebrate.” Without a moments warning, Jayce was crowding Andi’s space, showering him with kisses that could barely even be called that because of how large Jayce’s smile still was. They trailed everywhere from his cheeks and forehead, to jawline and collarbone. It caused a mess of giggles and most likely ‘sickening cuteness’ as Aaron would call it, but Jayce didn’t care. He was as far in love as a person could be, never seeing himself falling out. Not stopping with his attack, Jayce blindly searched for the spacebar to stop the recording, pushing Andi to the floor so that he could give him proper kisses once the video was over.
