Awkward Encounters|Finchel
Tagging: Rachel Berry & Finn Hudson Setting: Rachel’s house Summary: Rachel and Finn attempt to hang out but things don’t go well.
Rachel knew that her house, most especially her room, wasn't up to 'having company' standards but she wasn't inclined to remedy that problem. It was Finn and, if she was smart, they wouldn't be in her bedroom for any extended period of time. The only effort she willingly made was to straighten up the living room and clear a place for them to eat. Until then, she thought as she plopped down on the sofa and closed her eyes, relaxation is the goal.
Finn wasn't entirely excited about going to Rachel's and staying with her. It would be weird to be in the same house and not sleep together and he didn't want to be reminded that they weren't together. However if she thought that being around each other more would help their situation, then he would it. He stopped at Sonic on his way to her house to grab them both grilled cheese sandwiches and tater tots. When he got to her house, he jogged through the rain and stopped at her front door to knock o the door.
Rachel woke, startled by the sound of rain pattering against the window and someone banging at her door. Mentally cursing herself, she practically stumbled off the sofa and made a quick-stepped dash for the door, hoping he wouldn't be drenched. "Sorry, I fell asleep on the sofa." She held the door open for him to come in, a subtle lack of enthusiasm on his face as he did. "Do you want a towel or anything?"
Finn wondered if Rachel had changed her mind about him coming over as he stood in wait. When she opened it, he stepped in feeling even more unsure of their night than he had before. "Um.." He looked down at his clothes, which were relatively dry but the water from his hair dripped down onto them. He pulled his jacket hood over his head to soak up the water "I'm fine." He told her as he set their food down.
Rachel bit the inside of her mouth a little to hold in a sigh of resignation. The night before at Santana's house had been nice, but the fact that it was likely because he was drunk didn't escape her. Letting it get to her wasn't going to do any good, and she knew it. "I'll get some plates." Doing so gave her a little time to regroup and put a smile on her face. "How was work?"
Finn sat down on the couch when she left and sighed. He didn't feel like things were normal with them at all. When she came back, he shrugged. "It was okay. That weird guy who used to be the theater teacher came in and threw a fit because I apparently don't know what 'salmon' color is." He shook his head as he popped a tater tot into his mouth.
Rachel set down a plate in front of him and one in front of her. "Sandy Ryerson?" Rachel made a face as she took the food from the bags and put it on the plates for them. "He was awful. When he ran glee club, it was a wreck and he gave all my solos to a male lead over me." Rachel left out the part about getting Sandy fired with false claims of impropriety with said male lead since she wasn't exactly proud of what she'd done. "I hear he sells drugs to make a living now." Folding the grease stained bag up to throw away later, Rachel looked over at Finn. "I'm sorry he was rude to you. Salmon is an awful color anyway."
Finn "Well I think he is better suited to sell drugs than teach. He was always really creepy and annoying." He shuddered. "Apparently he was like remodeling his bathroom or something and wanted all salmon everything. I finally had to get Teri to handle it."
Rachel cringed a little at the idea of a salmon-colored bathroom. "Salmon is an accent color, not a primary. You don't build a whole design schema around it." Which he probably cared nothing about, she told herself as she took a slow bite of grilled cheese so she didn't continue babbling on about decor. "Do you want something to drink?"
Finn nodded to agree with her about the color scheme. It would be overwhelming to walk into an all pink bathroom. "I'm okay." He said, too uncomfortable to ask her to get anything for him.
Rachel shook her head, knowing whatever weirdness seemed to exist between them right now was causing him to hold back. "How about I bring you a soda and, if you get thirsty at some point, then it's there for you." She climbed to her feet, making her way in and out of the kitchen quickly. A soda for him, a water for her. Sitting Indian style on the sofa again, she glanced over at him as he ate. "Do you like working with Teri? She seems like she'd be a bit of a handful."
Finn "If you wanna." He shrugged. He finished off his sandwich before he spoke again "Nah, she's cool. I mean, she can be kind of mean and she stares at me a lot.. And she calls me Will all the time but. It's not so bad."
Rachel frowned a little to herself at the idea that Teri Schuester might think of Finn as a younger replacement version of Mr. Schuester. It wasn't a stretch - her glee club teacher probably was a handsome young man like Finn, and he was definitely a natural leader. Still, the two of them not being a couple didn't remove the slight irritation of Teri possibly setting her sights on Finn. "It's good to get along with your boss. It makes your job that much easier because you feel like someone is in your corner."
Finn nodded his head "Yeah. I feel kind of bad for her. I think she just acts crazy because she's going through a rough time with her divorce and all that."
Rachel wondered if Teri had neglected to tell Finn the reason for the divorce was that she'd faked a pregnancy, but it seemed like he might have a confident in Teri and, as much as she disliked the idea of it, Rachel didn't want to ruin that for him. "Do you guys talk a lot? About your life outside of work, I mean. It seems like, at the very least, she talks about her problems with you."
Finn "I don't know, sometimes. She talks a lot." He sat back to get comfortable.
Rachel watched him, happy that he at least looked comfortable sitting there. "You should be use to that by now. Having someone talk your ear off." She looked down at her plate with the remainder of her sandwich on it.
Finn "She beats you even." He teased.
Rachel looked up, her teeth working with determination to finish even though she hadn't really been hungry all week. "Wow. That's actually very impressive seeing as I'm told that I never actually shut up."
Finn "I don't think you're that bad." He shook his head.
Rachel took another bite, nearly finishing her sandwich but falling just a little bit short. "You do have to admit, though, that I can talk a lot." The last bite of her sandwich was torture but she managed it before she practically receded into the couch's corner with an aching stomach.
Finn "I like it when you talk a lot. It's not a bad thing."
Rachel brought her legs up, hoping a more curled up position would make her stomach hurt less. "That makes you a unique individual indeed. Well, that and some other things."
Finn "Some other things?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. "Like what?"
Rachel wrapped her arms around herself, a large part of her wishing they were his. "I don't know. All good things." She bit her lip, having so many things to list off but wanting the ones she did to be meaningful. "The way you play drums so well, and your determination."
Finn "Oh.. Well at least they're good things. I thought they might be weird things."
Rachel shrugged a little, surprised that he'd expected anything but good things. "You never know. What you call weird, I might think is special." Rachel looked down, wanting to say that there wasn't much about him that wasn't special to her.
Finn looked at her for a minute, then looked down at her hands as he realized he probably shouldn't watch her the way he did before. "So uh.. What now?"
Rachel could feel Finn looking at her, just like he always had, and what she wanted to tell him was something completely opposite of what she did. "We could watch a movie or something. Whatever you want."
Finn "Yeah, I guess we could do that. Whatever you feel like."
Rachel really wanted to scoot down on the couch and lay there, preferably with him. She didn't dare ask, though. It wasn't like him calling her drunk the night before. Them lying together would mean something to Finn, something positive but ultimately demoralizing if they didn't get back together. Rachel felt a knot in her stomach thinking of how sweet he'd been, how normal they'd felt the night before. Maybe she wasn't as adjusted as she thought. "It's too bad I don't have an XBox." She smiled weakly.
Finn "Yeah, that sucks." He agreed as he moved to sit on the floor with his back against the couch. "We can watch what you want. I'm just gonna play a game on my phone." He told her.
Rachel didn't make a move to turn the TV on once he was off the couch. She just moved into a horizontal position, still a little curled up.
Finn felt awkward and he wished he could lay with her and forget about everything in their lives. He knew Rachel didn't want that though, so he bit his lip as he played a game on his phone, not really paying attention. "Um so.. It's okay if you want me to go back to Santana's." He said after a while.
Rachel laid there, starting to feel sick - from eating too much or from all the feelings swimming around in her, she didn't know. The last thing she wanted was for him to go, but it seemed like it was all he wanted. Rachel couldn't blame him. "I don't want that, but if you want to go, you can."
Finn "I don't know, things are just kind of weird and uncomfortable." He admitted.
Rachel smoothed her hand gently over the back of his hair, then turned her face down into the cushion to hide her sadness in case her turned around. "I don't want you to feel that way. Really, if being here does that, you don't have to stay. I just figured..." I could help. But she couldn't.
Finn "I just.. Ex's don't make very good friends.. It kind of hurts my feelings that it doesn't hurt you the way it does me to just sit here feet away from each other. I'm not trying to start a fight, it's just how I feel."
Rachel swiped viciously at a tear she felt roll down her nose. Everything hurt her just as much as it hurt him, and she wanted to scream those words at him. But she couldn't, because she'd be the one starting the fight. She'd be the bad guy, even though she was just trying to put things back together. "It hurts me too. I guess I'm just used to not showing it."
Finn "So.. Maybe we should just use this time as.. Friends or whatever to actually be apart. Because I don't think either one of us enjoy this."
Rachel didn't say anything. Right or wrong, every time he said something like that it felt like having her heart broken all over again. And this time she couldn't handle it at all. She climbed over the side of the couch and practically slammed the door of the downstairs bathroom behind her so she could vomit in private.
Finn was surprised when Rachel ran out of the room and slammed the bathroom door shut. He slowly walked to the door to apologize, although he couldn't see the harm in his words considering if he was hurt and she was hurt it probably wasn't right. When he reached the door, he heard something other than crying and he paused before knocking on the door "Are you okay, Rach?"
Rachel wretched, the grilled cheese she'd had to force down having no trouble coming back up, not even the cold ceramic of the tile soothing her when she finally stopped and laid down. "Just leave." The words were barely audible, but they felt like the only thing her body wasn't rejecting right now.
Finn frowned at her words "Are you sure? I can call my mom to help you.."
Rachel didn't move or make a single sound. He would call his mom to help her but he wouldn't do it to help himself. The thought made her angry, but she felt too weak from being sick, and from everything else, to care. She just laid there, cheek pressed against to floor as she tried to fight back tears. "I don't need your mom."
Finn "Do you want me?" He asked, wanting to be there for her some way.
Rachel sat up again, not sure what there was left to throw up but something came anyway. Her bangs stuck to her sweating forehead and she felt her arm shake as she reached to flush the toilet. "I'm fine."
Finn "Do you want a glass of water?"
Rachel mumbled the word 'no,' not sure if Finn heard her or not. She contemplated standing up - she'd have to eventually, especially if she wanted to get to her room - but quickly realized she'd have to sit there for awhile before she could do that.
Finn slunk down against the wall to wait for her, unwilling to leave her while she was sick.
Rachel sat on the floor, numbness starting to set in before she tried to pull herself up. Standing over the sink, she turned the faucet on and splashed her face before rinsing her mouth out. The door opened slowly and when she stepped out, she saw Finn sitting there. Why did he still have to be there? Hadn't he wanted to go? All of her thoughts bordered on mean and she finally just rounded the corner but managing to stumble a little in the process.
Finn stood up when she stepped out of the bathroom. When she stumbled, he grabbed her. "Do you want me to carry you to your room?"
Rachel more or less wanted to die of embarrassment when Finn practically picked her up from her misstep. Everything was bad enough, but he had to be there to see her sick and weak on top of it. "No, I can get there on my own." Even if I have to crawl, she thought as she looked up the stairs.
Finn nodded his head and let her go "If you really want me gone, I can go.."
Rachel gripped the banister, her whole body tensing like she could be sick again. "Do whatever you need to because no matter what I say, it's not going to be the right thing."
Finn "Rachel, stop. I want to take care of you right now but I can't do that if you're wanting me to not be here. So don't talk or think about any of the other things going on right now, you need to lay down and relax."
Rachel finally sat on the bottom stair, resigned. "I don't want you to go."
Finn wasn't sure he believed her but at least she wasn't resisting help now. He couldn't have just left her laying on the floor as she probably would have ended up. Holding out his hand for her, he stepped closer. "Do you want to lay in your bed or I can draw you a bath?"
Rachel made a tentative reach for his hand, placing hers in it and pulling herself up. "No, I just want to lay down right now."
Finn "Can you make it upstairs?"
Rachel nodded, not entirely sure but also not wanting to depend on Finn to carry her. "I think I'll be okay."
Finn "Okay, I'll keep hold of your hand just in case." He waited for her to take the first step so could follow behind her.
Rachel took the first step, feeling Finn behind her as she moved carefully. She stood for a second at the top, looking over her shoulder at Finn. "Thank you."
Finn "You're welcome." He let go of her hand to walk to her room. He pulled her bathroom trash can next to her bed just in case, then left her to walk downstairs and grab her water. He set it on the nightstand, then watched her for a moment. "I'll just go hang out downstairs.. Let me know if you need anything?"
Rachel laid on her bed, still feeling queasy and clammy. She pulled her blanket up and around her as Finn moved around then disappeared. This all wasn't how she wanted it to happen, and she definitely didn't want Finn to stay out of pity. Looking up when he came in with water. "You don't have to go downstairs. You can stay here. Watch TV or use my computer."
Finn wasn't sure how comfortable it would be to hang out in her room. If the situation were any different, he'd be holding her in his arms and falling asleep with her. He sat down at the foot of her bed and turned the TV on, making sure the volume was very low.
Rachel laid with Finn near her feet, not really watching the television, the low volume, which she figured was her benefit, not going unnoticed. Her attention was all on him, part of her still wishing he'd just go. Pushing him away, though, could serve the exact opposite purpose of what she was trying to do.
Finn lay sideways at the foot of her bed, trying to get comfortable but he figured that being with Santana and his drunken friends would be better than this. She was mad at him now, he could tell, but he stayed in hopes that this would give him some kind of brownie points to her trusting him.
Rachel watched him squirm around at the end of her bed, his body overpowering the width he was attempting to fit it in. "You can come lay up here if that'd be more comfortable." He didn't have to hold her, even if a nagging part of her wanted that.
Finn "I'm fine." He shrugged. "I don't want to make things weird."
Rachel sighed quietly, turning on her side and pulling her blanket tighter around her. Her eyes closed, wondering if she appeared to be asleep he'd get bored with being there and leave.
Finn pressed his lips together with his head on his hand. He knew this would be the way it was if they were "friends" and that's exactly why he didn't want to do it. He got up after a while and looked down at her from where he was standing. She looked like she was asleep, so he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Feel better." He paused "I love you." He said and stood up, leaving the room and going downstairs to clean their dinner up so he could leave.
Rachel was still until she knew that Finn had left her room, her eyes creeping open once she knew she was alone. It had gone the way she'd expected, and she couldn't really blame him or even be mad. At the very least, his two quiet statements were something. But he also didn't want to be her friend, which was something too. Nothing she could blame him for - they hadn't been friends before, why would they start now - but not nothing entirely.
