#p:haneul

[lennoxfraser-blog]

looking up from underneath | lennox & haneul

Water had never been Lennox’s friend: not when he was small and splashing about in the creek that ran near the house, not when he was forced into the scalding water of a bath that his grandmother ran, and not now, at eighteen when he stood with his ankles in the water of the Great Lake. The weather had been inconsistent - some days it felt like they were still in the grip of winter, the Scottish winds whipping across the plains and chilling the castle, causing fires to light in their grates. But other days - like today - hinted at spring, a change in the weather that wouldn’t be too far away. And there was Lennox, shirt off and shorts riding low on his hips, not daring to step deeper into the water but also too stubborn to walk out of it and admit defeat. He wanted to learn the swim - it was past time that he learned - but his fear was gut-deep and firmly entrenched. All he could see was something grabbing his ankle and pulling him down; running out of strength and sinking; choking on the water in his lungs and unable to reach the surface; trying to-- The thoughts circled, egging him on, doing their utmost to convince him to get out. 

So Lennox walked deeper. He knew that to others on the grounds, he probably looked mad - it wasn’t exactly swimming season yet, and there he was, wading in like it was the peak of summer. But what fuelled Lennox was a desire to not let his family down - Lennox knew that if he was going to be a pseudo-father to Loren, he had to learn the basic skills; how was he going to be able to teach Loren something if he couldn’t do it himself? Without waiting to allow himself time to psych out of it, Lennox wading in until he was up to his chest, breathing coming in short pants. He could do this. Lennox walked on, until the tips of his toes brushed the pebbles and fell away into nothing, and then the panic started. Tipping his head to keep his chin above water, Lennox flailed his arms, gasping like he was already drowning, desperately trying to thrash his arms to keep afloat. But he was big, cumbersome, and scared, and he sank, mouth and nose going under before he could push himself up again, spluttering noisily and trying to take in oxygen. He sank back under, eyes screwing up closed as he watched the water dance in the sun before he could get back up, arms working, splashing, clawing his way out of something that had no substance, that didn’t care if he never saw light again. Lennox knew he might drown there, but just as he tried to find footing - a foot on the pebble, or even a rock - there was nothing, and with one last gasp at oxygen, he went under, heart pounding in his ears and muscles burning.

[thexanderlee-blog]

ancient wonders of the muggle world | xander & haneul

Distractions, Xander found, were usually ways of trying to ignore a problem. They were methods used by people who couldn’t cope with reality, and instead used to continue building their fantasy world where everything was perfect and nothing was wrong. Xander preferred the bluntness of truth and reality over distractions - he didn’t want to forget that he had thoughts and that these were important to process fully. And yet -- Xander found himself agreeing to go to the British Museum with Han anyway. Whether Haneul was looking for a distraction or simply something to feel good about, Xander didn’t know; he supposed it could be both, and maybe Han just wanted to not be cooped up in the Sleeping Dragon like everyone else. Xander hadn’t minded so much - he had food and his notes and all of his research, so after only a night at the hotel. Xander could say he wasn’t missing Hogwarts in the least. But going out and seeing the city was perhaps a good idea: exposing himself to other stimuli might provoke thoughts in other directions, he supposed.

Xander dressed in warm clothes, noticing that everyone else on the street was rugged up as though it were practically snowing. He stowed his wand and notebook in his thick coat pockets before grabbing his coin purse and tucking that in too, not knowing if the Museum charged or if there might be something in the gift shop he would like. As he rode the elevator down to the lobby and sat in one of the armchairs, waiting for Han, he couldn’t deny he was quite excited to see the Museum - learning could be fun, even if it was muggle history, and Xander hadn’t seen nearly enough of London before. When he saw Han approach, Xander perked up, rolling onto his feet excitedly, giving the other boy a smile. “Have you been to the museum before, hyung?” he asked, foregoing a hello. “Will they have a floorplan? What’s your favourite exhibit?” he rattled off, taking Hans hand and pulling him toward the doors, eager to get started. “Is it very far?”