Please Don't Leave Me
who? Veronica and Nat
where? room 221
when? just now
what? Veronica visits Nat in the hospital and things don’t go to plan.
other? TRIGGER WARNING CHECK TAGS
Veronica stopped in the gift shop of the hotel and bought Nat a get well soon teddy bear with a balloon and then walked up to room 221. She pushed the door open and saw him in the bed, “Nat,” She said and walked to his bedside, “Hey you.” She whispered, “What the fuck happened?”
Nat had managed to get Miles out of the room for a bit, practically begged him to go home and rest only to get promised he’d be back in an hour tops. His body still ached and he had clean bandages on his wrists. His mom remained in the corner of to room, probably trying to figure out where she went wrong even though he told her repeatedly it wasn’t her fault. He looked over when he saw Veronica and bit his lip, wringing out his fingers in a nervous habit. He hated people seeing him like this, hated being seen as weak. He only shook his head and looked down, fingers picking at the blanket. “You know what happened.”
Veronica sighed, she did know what happened. He tried to leave, he tried to kill himself. She sighed and sat on the edge of his bed and handed him the teddy bear. She stared at him, here in the hospital with her best friend, “Why Nat? Why would you do that?” She asked quietly
Nat stared at the bear and gently picked it up, only a little before putting it back down. He didn’t have the energy, didn’t have the will to move and it still hurt to breathe. “Selfish,” his mother muttered in the back and Nat bit his lip. He knew she was bitter about it, but it wasn’t her choice. “It doesn’t matter why he did it. What matters is how careless he was. I don’t understand what the hell you’re thinking most of the time.”
Veronica looked at her friend and then turned to his mother. Sure she was mad, and she got that, Veronica was mad too. But she should be happy that he was alive. “You know, you aren’t helping.” She said to his mother, “You should be thrilled that we can talk to him right now, that hes here.” She said and turned back to Nat and picked up his hand gently and squeezed it lightly. “Nat…” She said quietly
Nat peered at his mother from around his friend, watched her as she opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by her phone ringing. She excused herself and left the room. “I don’t even know why she bothered coming,” he said with a shake of his head and drew in a deep breath and winced at the tightness in his chest. “She’s only worried about how this will effect her and how much the medical bill is going to cost.”
Veronica sighed and rubbed her thumb on his hand gently after his mom left the room, “I’m sorry that shes like that.” She said and then looked over her freind once more, feeling tears well up in her eyes, “How, nat? How could you do this? How can you try and leave?” She asked quietly
Nat pulled his hand away and crossed his arms loosely across his stomach. “You don’t understand,” he sighed, soon realizing that it wasn’t fair and looked down. “I fucked everything up to the point where I doubt I can fix it. No matter how hard I try, I tend to fuck it up. Always.”
Veronica looked at him, sure she didn’t understand what it was like to want to kill herself, but she still didn’t get how he could do that. She sniffled and let the tears slip from her eyes. “But you have to try. Some of us need you here, Nat.”
Nat clenched his jaw and shook his head. “No one needs me. It’s all a bunch of bull shit,” he muttered, blinking back tears. “And you say that as if I don’t try. You don’t know how fucking hard this is for me. You don’t know anything.”
Veronica stared at him, she just stayed quiet for a minute, “I need you Nat. I need you.” She told him though she was sure he wouldn’t believe her. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair slowly, “I’m sorry Nat! I’m sorry I don’t undeerstand what you are going through, but you have to fight! You can’t just give up!”
Nat looked up at her then, tears brimming his eyes but he refused to cry. He debated whether he should argue back or just let her believe whatever she wanted, but he was done with buckling down and putting others before himself. It was time for him to be selfish for once. “I already have, V. And I did. I gave up. I’m tired of pretending to be happy, strong, whatever. I’m tired of it all.”
Veronica sniffled and shook her head, “You don’t have to pretend Nat!” She said and wiped her eyes and tears just continued to fall from her eyes, “Please, please don’t give up Nat!” She said with more tears falling. “I need you! You can’t just leave Nat!”
Nat looked away, fighting back his own tears and wiped one away as it slipped down his cheek. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, taking the little bear and held the stuffed animal against his chest. “You should go.”
Veronica sniffled when she saw a tear fall from her friends eye, that just made it worse on her. She could feel her tears falling quicker from her eyes, “Please, Nat, please don’t leave me.” She said and took his hand, “You’re my best friend, and I can’t lose you.” She sniffled and then sighed, “Please.”
Nat shook his head as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Just go,” he said again, louder this time in hopes to get his point across. He was tired, irritable, and he felt sick, disgusted and everything to make him wish Miles hadn’t made it in time. He drew his hand away again and he would turn to lay on his side if it didn’t hurt so much.
Veronica could tell he was serious. He didn’t want her there. She nodded slowly, “O-Okay.” She said quietly and got up walking towards the door, “I love you Nat.” She said softly with tears falling down her cheek
Nat brought his hands up to cover his face when Veronica left, unable to hold back his tears and cried, which was only fueled by the pain in his stomach. He dreaded the moment his mom came back in and just wanted Miles to hurry back.