familiarity ;
@rkhongjonghyun
kibum is avoiding the seocho complex. he knows he’ll have to go there at some point this week, but he just can’t bring himself to do it yet. he’s worried what’ll happen when he sees the royal trainees, when he sees everyone he left behind. he’s worried he’ll start to regret this decision again, when the last thing he wants is any more conflicting feelings.
the meeting with baek jiyoung did that for him, at least -- it solidified that he had made the right decision for his career in coming to sphere, no matter what kind of conflicting emotions he has about it. ignoring all his guilt from leaving ( abandoning ) royal, he’s excited for this. this is what he’s been working towards for years, what he’s wanted more than anything else.
but he still can’t face the royal trainees. he’s even been avoiding home a little bit over the last few days, afraid to face jaehyun and dongmin and all the guilt he carries with him for abandoning them, for breaking his promise and leaving them to train and eventually debut without him by their sides.
kibum doesn’t let himself think about it, and instead familiarizes himself with the sphere building. he can see why rachel loves it so much, why she was so sad to leave and so happy to return. the atmosphere is distinctly different from royal’s -- it feels more like everyone actually feels at home here, rather than just being at royal for training. the same feeling of determination and constant exhaustion linger in the air, but so does a sensation of excitement, and kibum doesn’t know if that’s just because of the convex announcement or if it’s something that’s always there and is just heightened now.
the word “family” was thrown around at royal sometimes, but looking at how the sphere sunbaes interact, kibum can’t help but think that royal as a whole was never a family -- not like this. the realization makes him feel more alone and nervous than ever, and he automatically wants to seek out rachel to have lunch with.
he resists the urge, instead finding a face in the cafeteria that he remembers from the meeting with baek jiyoung yesterday. he recognized the male a bit from the seocho complex -- he’s pretty sure he’s one of the longest standing sphere trainees, and he was also given a unit leader position, and kibum figures that now is as good a time as ever to meet a fellow convex member.
he hovers over the seat opposite the other, bowing his head politely. “do you mind if i sit with you? we’re group members now, right? we should probably get to know each other.” inwardly, he curses his own awkwardness, but tries to ignore the small spike of anxiety. it’ll be fine.
