liberation
@247shiwoo
2015 - very near to Christmas
There’s snow, which doesn’t always happen in December anymore, but Shinhye enjoys it. Not so much when you’re trying to get somewhere by car and the roads are blocked with layers of snow, but the sight of it on the roofs and gardens of the houses all around. Or the shine of it when the sun is bright yet cold. She loves the poetic nature of it all and the warmth she feels inside every time she is reminded of building snowmen and creating snow angels. Once upon a time, winter was a haven of all the good and wonderful things in her life.
Now that haven is no longer a moment in time, nor a season, nor a place. It’s a person. A tall, wonderful person who is so beautiful inside and out that sometimes it hurts just to think of him. A person who has been by her side for almost ten years, always there for her, always up to spend time with her. A person who has never failed her and never disappointed her. He has never even hurt her.
Once again she finds herself in front of his door, hesitating at the doorbell but then pressing it. This time she has alerted him of her visit, and so she waits patiently for him to buzz her in. The way to his actual apartment’s front door is easy, she turns corners and walks the stairs on memory alone. How many times has she been here by now? How many times has she walked the same steps only to end up in his couch or his arms? Their friendship is more precious to her than anything else. He is more precious to her than anything in her life.
But there are new emotions inside of her now concerning her best friend. Emotions which have only come to fruition ever since he started dating this girl. She doesn’t even exactly remember the girl’s name, which is honestly a disgrace considering he has been with the girl for a few months for sure. Or maybe it hasn’t been that long. Shinhye doesn’t actually know the details. She never liked to hear about Shiwoo’s relationship. She only knows it has ended about a month ago, a fact that made her feel relieved to hear. And further thinking about that fact is exactly the reason why she’s here.
Because she hated his girlfriend. Not the person herself - she’s never even met the girl - but just the idea of her. The idea of someone receiving that kind of love from him. Someone who wasn’t her. Shinhye became jealous. Jealous of the girl who took the place in Shiwoo’s life that wasn’t exactly hers but that she somehow felt like it was meant for her. Which is honestly the most cliché way to figure out you’re in love with someone, but that is how it’s going down for her, apparently.
Here she is, entering his apartment with even more nerves than the time she came to talk to him about his feelings for her. Does he still have them? She doesn’t even know. But she has them for him now and she can’t do anything other than be honest about it now that she knows exactly where she stands. Admittedly her first instinct when she finally decided to be honest with him, was to run over to his house, run up to him and just go straight for the kiss. On second thought that seemed highly disrespectful, especially with how he never tried to do something like that to her and she is not entirely sure of how he feels about her now. So she’s settled on the more talkative approach.
“Hey Woober,” she speaks with a smile on her face. She decides that no matter what he tells her, she will not let their friendship suffer from it. Just like he had not allowed his feelings to get in the way either. Smiling over at Shiwoo, she goes over to shortly wrap her arms around his neck.
“You ready for Christmas? It’s not far off anymore.” She tries to keep it light as she lets go again, her eyes going around his living room before they settle back on him. There is nothing light about the way she is trembling all over yet again, though. “I needed to talk to you.” More serious, now, her expression turning to fit the mood of the conversation. “I, uh.. There are some things I have to tell you.”