Hurt || Self-Para
It’s cloudy today. If the sun were out, I’d feel a lot better. My hands and my shoulders hurt, but all I want to do is play. Mom keeps telling me to see a doctor, but she’s crazy if she thinks I’d do that. They’ll tell me to stop playing so much, but I want to feel the sun, to hear it, to see it. I’m afraid of losing my music. I won’t let that happen.
I’m fine, or maybe I’m not. I don’t know, I guess I would need a doctor to tell me that. I’m writing myself in circles, but I just can’t think.
I can’t go to the clinic. I won’t go. I’m stupid. I should go. I can’t. I w-
Jihoon pushes down so hard that he breaks the lead of his pencil, his hands starting to shake from the pain in his fingers. He tears the page out of the journal recklessly, tearing it into shreds before dropping the pieces into the trash.
