January 17,2022: Get your heart broken into pieces.
Bianca Gonzales said on her podcast “Paano Ba’ To”, there are 30 things to do before you turn 30. One of them which was thing #14: fall in love and get your heart broken into pieces. I always thought that I’ll be able to tick this off my list as a failed romantic relationship. Sadly, it was worse than that.
It was shattered by a lot of family members, the one’s I trusted the most. We had a bad argument that led to be a pandora’s box full of hidden and unrealistic assumptions of my being. It was too much that I just dropped the subject and let them be with their image of me. I was too hurt, too tired to defend myself. The safe zone I though I had never existed. I was so heart broken that I can’t stop crying and the events and words keeps on replaying in my head, “parang box-office movie haha”. The real ones who knew my identity comforted me, prayed that those who hurt me may never feel this heart ache.
I’m glad I was able to listen to Bianca’s podcast before this happened, instead of being so hurt I was able to think of it as an opportunity to learn and grow. “Sa wakas nawarak puso ko, life changing nga haha”.
Life is unfair or fair it is just a matter of perspective, do what you must do to heal. I’m still heartbroken but I make my situation light as possible. This may not be true for every situation in the world, but I know It will make you feel better. Write If you must, draw if you must or just plainly sleep. Just remember to stop the negative cycle on you, never let that negative energy be passed to others. Be the light of change.