You would think that since I had been planning this since I was 16 I wouldn’t have been so nervous meeting Jared and Jensen. I woke up that morning at the crack of dawn. The Gold Panel didn’t start for another 4 hours, but sleep was not an option for me.
My roommate Amanda was still asleep as I got up and took a shower to ease the anxiety already building in my chest. The only light came from the small bathroom as I got dressed and sat on the end of my bed to towel dry my hair. I looked in the mirror and took a deep breath.
“I can do this.” I whispered. “This is what I’ve been fighting for.”
Before I knew it Heat of the Moment was playing in the room and Amanda got up and got ready. I had several Tumblr conversations going on just to ease my nerves. We headed over to the convention hall and I went in for the Gold Panel. Jared and Jensen came on stage and I swear my heart stopped. I was literally 25 feet away from the people that saved my life. I tried to take pictures, but I was too caught up in listening to what they said.
Then I was whisked away to my photo op with J2. That ticket in my hand weighed a thousand pounds. I was so nervous. I almost backed out. Suddenly I’m in the op room and the line is moving. My hands are shaking and I’m about to cry. I focused on the music playing. I couldn’t tell you the name of the song, but I focused on the beat and tapped it on thigh while waiting. I was 7 people from the front when Jared and Jensen stepped out. Now my anxiety is sky high as I messed with the index card in my hand. They came in and the line proceeded. The handler looked at me and smiled.
“First convention?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“You’ll be fine.” She assured me. “They’re just as nervous as you are.”
Oh crap, I’m next. It’s too late to back out. I moved and my hands shook as I showed the card.
“I need the cheesiest family photo y’all can manage.” I laughed.
They chuckled and went along with it. Jensen wrapped an arm around my side and leaned in. Jared wrapped his arm around my shoulders and practically hugged me. I was shaking and I felt Jared rug his hand along my shoulder. Chris took the picture and I quickly turned.
“Thank you.”
They smiled as I quickly walked off. I wish I could have told him how much was behind that thank you. I survived the rest of the day and made it through Jensen’s autograph. Jared’s autograph was the one I was scared about.
I was halfway through Jared’s line and I almost made a run for the door. There was no way I could stand in front of him without losing it. I owed him so much and there was no way I could repay him for it. Thankfully the handlers around me were telling jokes and keeping us company. I reached the table and handed the girl my board to be signed.
“This is awesome.” She said.
“Thanks.” I said. “My best friend made it for me.”
I’m finally standing in front of Jared.
DO NOT CRY. DO NOT CRY.
He smiled and I could barely maintain eye contact.
“Thank you.” I said again.
“No problem.” He winked.
I somehow managed to make it out of the room into the main hallway. I found a quiet corner, sat down, and cried. The feeling in my chest was indescribable. I did it. I met my hero. He might not have know the full meaning behind my thank you, but I got to tell him thank you.
I cried because I proved everyone wrong. I survived. I kept fighting because I wanted to tell Jared thank you. I cried because I had made so many friends because of the show and the boys.
I cried because I finally felt like I belonged somewhere.
Jared may never hear my story or read this, but I just want to thank him for being kind, caring, brave, and my inspiration. I want to thank him for reminding me that I matter.
Thinks may look dark at times, but I’ve learned that the storm will pass.
This is how I expect my very first “meeting” with Jared will go…
Me, meeting Jared for the first time, at Minnecon. Walking up to him at my photo op.
Me: (totally overwhelmed) Hi, Jared.
Jared: Hey there, what’s your name?
Me: Rindi.
Jared: Ren? What?
Me: No, like Cindy, but with an R.
Jared: Rindi? Wow, that’s a beautiful name!
Me: (blushing) Thank you. (feeling nervous)
Jared: you ok, Rindi?
Me: Yeah, just super nervous. Sorry. Wow you’re tall.
Jared: (laughs) so I’ve been told. So, what pic do you want?
Me: (still stupid nervous) Ummm…can we do a hug thing?
Jared: (huge grin) Sure! (holds his arms out)
Me: (trying not to cry) Wow… (Walk into his arms, he holds me close.) (I’m fairly certain he feels and smells amazing, so there’s that…)
Chris: Hey you blinked, let’s get another one.
Jared: (looks at me, turning my face to his) You still ok?
Me: (looking in his eyes) Yeah. (Wholly crap his hand is on my cheek. He’s looking in my eyes. Wholly fuck.)
We both turn back to the camera and ‘snap’. The picture is taken, Jared gives me a quick squeeze.
Jared: Have fun, Rindi! Thank you!
Me: (turns to wave) Bye Jared!
Me, collapsing in the hallway, overcome with tears at my 18 second encounter with Jared Padalecki.
I totally see how this is gonna go down in November. My first con, with autos. I’m so nervous. I love him so much for so many reasons. I hope I don’t make a fool of myself…but I’m sure I will...
Did anyone else notice Zeke's heavy gasping for breath when he was healing Cas ?
And how his voice shuddered when he was backing away?
And then how his hand rested on the wall and collapsed with him to the ground?
I don't fucking know man, Jared is such a fucking awesome actor, the little moans were spot on. FOUR FOR YOU JARED. SOMEONE GIVE HIM A HUG FOR GODS SAKE.
