A WORK IN PROGRESS (Spinpixy cross-post)
OK so this is going to start off very trivial, but I promise you something pretty deep at the end which will give you something to think about. So I’m not a hoarder or a pack rat or anything like that, but I never throw anything away hastily. The reason is, when ever in my life that I have done so, I often wonder where that something is, and then wish I hadn’t thrown it away without giving it another thought. Sadly… Tragically… Some of these things were things my grandmother made for me. I outgrew them so I gave them to those less fortunate. While on the surface that was a noble thing for my mother to have me do, I often regret not being able to keep them in the family. Anyway, what brought about this thought was looking for my sock poi (long story). Very long story very short, I put them somewhere and I can’t find them. So I was yelling at myself in my head because I haven’t use them in a very long time (again another long story) however, even though they were just kind of hanging around the house it doesn’t mean that I wasn’t going to use them again. A lot of people have this philosophy that if you don’t use it in a year then you don’t need it. This may be true for a lot of people, but not for me. I basically am a few different things at my most basic core (raver, Witch, crafter, writer) I won’t list them all here, but these few different things that I am come in waves, kind of like if gravity ran amok on the tide. For example, I might be very heavily into something for three months, and all of a sudden just put it on the back burner so I can go on to something else for a while, kind of like a honeybee who likes to taste different flowers. I have a few that are my favorite, but every once in a while I need a change. It doesn’t mean that I’m done with that particular flower, it just means I want a bit of a change and sometimes to expand that change. So I can’t really throw anything away that has been very dear to me in my adulthood because I’m pretty set in what I love. OK so anyway back to the poi. So I was looking for the poi (and I know I haven’t thrown them away), and yelling at myself about how I hadn’t use them for so long and now all of the sudden they are so important. Well, I haven’t had the energy to Spin for quite some time and now I do so I want them. Today I wanted to use them, but instead had to end up using my heavier set, and those are rather painful when you smack yourself as I did a few times. So after my workout I went back in the house looking for my sock poi again. As I walked through my boxes and hunted through my various works in progress I begin to think about how people say they are a work in progress.
Many people say that they are a work in progress, which I guess is supposed to mean that they’re on their way to becoming who they’re going to be. I started thinking about that way of thinking and how limiting that sounds. So basically they’re saying that everything they go through is to be whatever it is they are supposed to be, and then what? It sounds like their destination is their destiny, but no one knows what their destiny truly is until they get there, so it seems as if their aimlessly wandering when you say it like that. A work in progress for me is something that I start on, put away for a while, start working on again, walk away from for a year or two sometimes, and then pick it up occasionally until completed. If I ran my life like I did my works in progress, I would never get anywhere in life very quickly. I would chase my tail for quite a while before making any forward motion. No thank you, not for me. As many people say, when it comes to magick, you are the thoughts that you put out into the universe. That’s not the thought that I want to put out into the universe. So here is my new life’s motto and it was written by me and it will always be my life’s motto. I am not a work in progress, I am a transformation in motion. I am ever-changing, shapeshifting, and in no need of completion(1). I am inertia incarnate (2), an apparition of my past, and the affirmations of my future(3). I will not end, I will transcend when my seasons are expired.
Footnote:
1. No need for completion: essentially what I mean by no need for completion is exactly that. Take an empty canvas for example, you start by adding a few colors and they blend and then you add more colors and those blend and you move them about the canvas and they take their own shapes and become the colors that you eventually want them to be slowly, overtime, by adding different things. In the case of me, I feel like that’s what I do with people, life experiences, and whatever else comes into my life. Nothing ever really ends whatever was, just blends into the background to give birth to something new.
2. Inertia incarnate:
By constantly changing and transforming, I am my own driving force. I think a lot of people seek to find what drives them, but when you can learn to be your own driving force you never have to look for an external source. When you start to generate that driving force, no one can take it away, and it can only grow more powerful. You can look for things to spur you on, but you can generate force on your own and from your own being. Sometimes this is a lot easier said than done, but it is possible.
3. Affirmations of my future:
Simple, if you know what affirmations are, you know how helpful they can be in building your future. Enough said.
Don’t you just love my crazy trains of thought? Until next time people…
~Spin~
