It's crazy how a lot has change in a few days, or weeks. Things has turned out for the worst. Or maybe, if I am able to see it in a way, can be for the best.
It's sad that I'm losing a lot of friends. People who used to matter to me. People who I thought will be there for me through thick and thin. Even though they aren't my best friends, I was still expecting them to at least notice one odd behavior of mine... and offer their shoulder for me to lean on. Because sometimes, problems feel too painful that I can't get words out of my mouth.
Everything is critically endangered in my life and I honestly think that I'm not doing anything to heal or fix it. I'm merely letting days pass me by. But I don't. I am doing something. And one of my strategies is to just let my mind and body take wherever they want me to be.
I'll wait for the right time to strike, and when I do, that's it.
On second thought, I don't think this is a good strategy at all. But that doesn't mean that I'm not trying.
That I didn't tried.
⚜ 3:18AM, 06 | 26 | 20
I understand why that's my strategy.
As a person who undergo abuse, carrying traumas, unresolved issues, and still experiencing abuse, I'm drained of energy.
It's difficult to do things on my own or to break bad habits.