—d.

what is stronger than the human heart that shatters over and over and still lives

[parchedment]

"it's time to change yet remain to be sane and kind."

Mabuhay! Welcome to my writing blog, you can call me Persie or Parch for short! This blog contains journal entries that I'm comfortable sharing with the public (from a thought, an action, an event, or a person—basically a memory) and other written works.

I use the following languages in my writing:

Filipino

English

Taglish (a mixture of the two)

As a child, I always knew there was something special about me and writing is one of the gifts that I was given. My passion for writing has been complicated; I can't stress enough the love-hate relationship that I have with it. Numerous people have recognized my works and commented that I'm a good writer; my choice of words is beautiful, and my works can be mistaken to be written by a professional.

That sounds a bit too much, isn't it? Pardon me, it's not every day that I get to flaunt things that I'm good at.

Sometimes you will see me post and reblog stupid shit here.

Constructive criticism is allowed! As I know that there is still so much to learn. I would like to gain wisdom from fellow writers here!

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

what ao3 would look like with ads. no, you do not want this. support ao3 because it’s one of the last few places on the internet that is not tainted by capitalism bullshit. support ao3 because it’s one of the last few places on the internet that is genuinely about the connection between audiences, artists, their works and the love/passion artists have for what they do

source

[writing-prompt-s]

"If I don't reply by tomorrow, then consider me dead." It's been two years since you got that message, and you haven't seen them since. Suddenly, your phone lights up: "Sorry, that took longer than I thought."

[parchedment]

MEEEEE

[parchedment]

i'm still angry towards you

i hope you know that

—it takes time. 10:30 pm, 01.11.24

[parchedment]

i wouldn't be the person i am today without you

he was a good person pero katulad nating lahat, hindi siya perpekto. he had flaws which were the downsides of loving him - but weirdly enough... for the first time in my life, i do not regret ever loving him. i do not regret that i experienced loving this person and being loved by this person despite the pain he inflicted.

—10:16 pm, 01.11.24

[parchedment]

how do you be kind to yourself, for the lessons you wished you knew beforehand? for the tools you wish you had?

how do you be kind to yourself, for the self-confidence you wish you had to stand up for yourself? the right words to articulate how you truly felt and were treated, and the kindness you wished you had towards them?

everyone has limits, and i guess, this was my breaking point. i fell short of empathy and kindness towards others - that i fail to see the inherent goodness and weariness in them.

but, could you blame me? mom and dad did not set an example my siblings dislike my presence and everytime, i bear the brunt of the blame.

the trauma had clouded my judgement by inserting the belief that no one can be trusted. everyone is out to get me and there is no one that can be depended.

how do you be kind to yourself, for wishing for things to end in a different way? "by accepting the outcome and moving forward, there is no one waiting for you there."

—how do you be kind to yourself? 8:13 pm, 01.11.24

[giraffeter]

I often see posts about curating your own online experience that make the point, “content creators aren’t your parents.” And, yes, that is absolutely true! And I try not to be like “as a parent,“ but as a parent…

EVEN PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO ENCOURAGE RESPONSIBLE READING/VIEWING BEHAVIOR. NOT filter everything ahead of time for their kid.

When my kiddo was 5, his pediatrician was asking him the usual Well Child Visit questions (“What are your favorite foods? What do you do to get your body moving? Do you know what to do if you get lost in a public place?” Etc.) and she asked, “What do you do if you see something on TV that scares or upsets you?”

I piped up like, “Oh, he doesn’t watch TV without one of us in the room,” which was true at the time and is still largely true now. She said, “Yes, but that won’t always be the case, so make sure you’re talking to him about what to do if he sees something that upsets him.”

So we started talking to him about that, and the answer is simple: “Turn it off or leave the room, and talk to someone you trust about what you saw and what you’re feeling.”

The answer is NOT “Ask your parents to make sure you never see anything upsetting again,” because that’s just not possible — and ultimately that would be doing the kid a disservice, since sooner or later he’s going to be out in the world where we can’t control what he watches or reads. That doesn’t mean we don’t try to make sure he’s watching/reading age-appropriate stuff, it just means that’s not the only safeguard he has — and that’s a good thing.

So yes, content creators aren’t your parents and aren’t responsible for making sure you never see anything you don’t like — but also, your own parents should have taught you what to do when that happens. So if they didn’t, take it from me, your internet mom:

Turn it off.

Walk away.

Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling.

And leave the person who created the thing that upset you alone.

[neil-gaiman]

When my oldest kids were small -- about 6 and 8 - I bought them a Video (the VCR kind) of John Waters' Hairspray, a film they loved, and, getting home at 3 am, left it for them with a note. They woke me up the next morning. "It's not Hairspray. It's something scary with a car." Due to a mislabelling error, the videotape was Stephen King's Christine.

I mentioned it to friends and a day later got a call from a tabloid journalist who wanted to know about this terrible thing that had happened to my family. "It's not a story, " I told them. "My kids know where the off-button is and how to press it, and the moment they knew they weren't watching what they wanted to watch, they turned it off."

[donuteater13]

Reblog to kill it faster

[lesbian-toddhoward]

[kleefkruid]

My dad was dealing with some mixed feelings so I told him "In therapy when something is too complicated to do a simple 'pro and contra list' we sometimes do an excercise where you imagine all these mixed feelings around a table in some kind of conference, letting each tell their bit and you leading the debate."

and my dad didn't really respond and just stared ahead so I kept preparing lunch. Until a few minutes later when he suddenly piped up: "I am having a bad time at the conference"

[humandisastersquad]

[kinsey-the-saiyan-deactivated20]

I too am having a bad time at the conference

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you too are having a bad time at the conference

[parchedment]

i am definitely having a bad time in the conference

[cryptotheism]

I'm an Absentee Atheist. I think a god made the world, but it was an action so insignificant to the higher will that it is not aware we exist, rendering existence effectively godless.

[cryptotheism]

I'm a Mutual Exclusivity Polytheist. I believe the world is woven by several demiurges at once, all of whom are entirely unaware of each other's existence.

[cryptotheism]

I'm a Deferential Semantic Atheist. I believe in a god in the sense that I believe in gravity; as an observed phenomenon that I do not understand, but am confident that other people with more time on their hands can prove the existence of.

[cryptotheism]

I'm an Autogenesis Absentee Deist. I believe that God is instantiated like a mind into the divine clockwork of the material physics of the universe. I am not a Pantheist, as I believe that this mind designed and consciously instantiated itself into the world through some unknown method, however this is annoying to explain at parties so I generally don't talk about it much.

[cryptotheism]

I'm an Antirationalist Manichean. I think God built the world, but the Devil built causality, thus any train of thought that follows logically is incorrect, and the result of trickery.

[cryptotheism]

I'm a radical Hindu-Gnostic Monotheist. I think Brahman should make up it's mind and knock all this "emanation" shit off and squeeze back into a monad.

[cryptotheism]

I'm a Chaos Agnostic. I believe the universe exists in a constantly changing spectrum of divinity from "Was Made By a Present God" to "There is no god" and it changes every 24 hours or so.

[cryptotheism]

I'm an extremely localized animist. Only my dog has a spirit.

[grimeclown]

Op is actually an interfaith spiritualist and channeling each of these deceased in turn

[cryptotheism]

[ospreyonthemoon]

Your dog has spirit and your cat has esoteric knowledge. What a lovely blessing.

[thenewguy1984-deactivated202601]

The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you’ll learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same.

[scallioncreamcheesebagel]

[thenewguy1984-deactivated202601]

I don’t know who you are, but your addition to my post is amazing. Thank you kind soul.

[parchedment]

what if the ball does not seem to shrink and remains in the shape it was originally?

[parchedment]

i feel suicidal today and there's nothing poetic about it.

—straight to the point. 8:13 pm, 12.18.23

[parchedment]

i have already died five or six years ago— by the hands of my abusers whose fists are drenched in blood and enlightenment as their crutch.

i have already died five or six years ago— by the waves of betrayal in my veins each remembrance bring searing pain an arrival of a monster that is difficult to tame.

i have already died five or six years ago— and i do not know who i am and i miss her dearly, my one and only blurry, like a washed off painting

i have already died five or six years ago— and i have never came back to life i can never bring back who i used to be and every day, she haunts me

—i miss her. 8:24 pm, 12.18.23

[lucidmagic]

Repeat after me:

The first draft just needs to exist

The second draft needs to be functional

The third draft needs to be effective

The first draft just needs to exist

The second draft needs to be functional

The third draft needs to be effective

The first draft just needs to exist

The second draft needs to be functional

The third draft needs to be effective

Remember, the second and third can't happen if you don't have something to work with. Your first draft will always be shit compared to your third, but at least it exists. The worst first draft is an unfinished one. The best first draft is a just completed one.

You read books/stories not in their first draft form-- only in their finished form (third, fourth, sometimes fifteenth draft). So stop comparing your first draft with a final one.

So, just write--you can make it better later. Perfectionism is the greatest weight a creator can carry.

[writing-prompt-s]

“I wish I had never been born!” You cried to the genie. But when you opened your eyes, you were still here. The genie shook its head sadly and asked,“What kind of pain have you endured, that you would wish for such a thing?”

[parchedment]

Is there someone you still look up to even if you're no longer in contact?

hi! i'm surprised someone sent me a question here, but i'm more than happy to oblige! yes, there are lots of them even though how we are no longer in contact was distressful and traumatic. subconsciously, i notice their admirable qualities that i would (hope and) want to see in myself.

this might be an unconventional answer but i'm still struggling with coming to terms with people entering my life and leaving... and one of the realizations that i have is no matter what have happened, i will still love the people i have loved even if they no longer feel the same way. the idea sounds stupid but i noticed how much of a loving person i am and other people have taken notice of this. i also found out the reason why i feel hurt towards these people is because i care about them and have gone to great lengths to cease; but it wouldn't work.

maybe with accepting that i'll love them forever will lead me to acceptance and then forgiveness. in short, i have a big heart and i think love would also mend this broken heart, the same way it was broken in the first place.

[parchedment]

slow down

soothing and melancholic, the emotions these songs evoke in me

like the warmth of a rainy night, the fog hanging out in the morning, and the peace of knowing you're alright

i wanna feel it again i wanna feel it again i wanna feel it again

—7:39 PM, 11 | 16 | 23