#palmetto shitposts

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AITA for not forgiving my identical twin after he unalived my birth mother???

I (20M) was separated from my twin brother at birth--

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I firmly believe andrew does nice things for people and then just lies about it.

it starts off low-key and the lies are believable or just by omission. like nicky suddenly finds the water bottle he’d been missing for months and it’s right in front of him (andrew spent a while searching all of the spots nicky usually puts things and found it pretty quickly). everyone, including nicky, presumes he was being a dumbass and it’s been there all the time.

like the time kevin finds a sports drink he really likes in the back of the maz after night practice and asks how it got there. andrew ignores him and neil just says that maybe aaron left it there?

like the time the girls want to make some cocktails with neil and educate him on “the delights of fruity alcohol” and they just happen to find most of the drinks they need already tucked in the back of the cupboard. some of them are half empty so they presume they had been there for a while (andrew had found some at the columbia house and just put them in the girls cupboard)

neil is very used to this but he doesn’t say anything or call andrew out. food that he likes appearing, new items of clothing that seemingly spawn at the back of the wardrobe, his bag making its way into the car before neil’s even realised he isn’t carrying it. it’s andrew’s low-key version of caring and neil thinks it’s sweet (not that he’d every day that aloud).

it moves on to bigger things.

andrew using a barely legal move against an opposing player after he’s been antagonising and irritating most of the team, but especially dan. the player ends up mildly injured and is taken off court. dan confronts andrew after, asking about it and andrew just claims he has no recollection of any of the events.

he’s moved beyond the silence to just straight up starts gaslight, gatekeep, girlbossing the foxes.

he literally buys nicky a pair of shoes he won’t shut up about and acts like nicky is the crazy one for thanking him, even though he literally just handed him the box.

he helps aaron book a tickets to a band katelyn likes because he’s in class when they go on sale and claims to never have heard of them later on.

he fully insists he was never in the lounge when matt needed some help moving some furniture around, despite it clearly being a two person job, andrew being the only one around at that moment and matt literally fucking carrying the other end of the furniture with him.

one of his biggest and frankly stupidest lies is when he hands david a bottle of really expensive whiskey the day he graduates and two seconds after handing it over, he asks david where he got it from.

david just rolls his eyes and tells him some asshole who he WILL be keeping in touch with gave it to him.

andrew just says “who?” like david is being super vague and confusing.

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andrew had only been at psu for a year before neil came which means he had to learn to trust renee very quickly (by andrew standards). therefore, i believe it was renee who introduced andrew to the truth for a truth game.

andrew’s there like right what’s the quickest way to make this woman fuck off? i don’t need friends, i don’t need anyone. right, let’s tell the truth, but you know, the ugly truth.

andrew, into the complete silence: i’ve killed someone and i’d do it again

renee, without missing a beat: get in line, we’re friends now 😁

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neil discovers fanfic

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nicky: has been rambling on about twilight for an hour and a half now, laying out all of his headcanons and discussing the best fanfics he’s read

seth, who’s just walked in: what the fuck is a twilight? isn’t that the gay bar you lot go to?

aaron: it’s not a gay bar 🙄

andrew and nicky, staring at each other: …

neil: you’re entirely correct seth!

aaron: andrew you fucking swore it wasn’t-

neil: look i know not pulling is commonplace for you aaron but weren’t you the tiniest bit suspicious?

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psu student takes to twitter to complain after losing a palmetto-themed trivia night because they thought the foxes mascot was the kevin day cardboard cut out the athletes are always talking about. he even has his own instagram account. who the fuck is foxy rocky?

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you ever think jean and neil get to a point where they can freely joke about riko dying and it just disturbs everyone around them like

neil: christ jean if ichirou had your aim riko would still be up and about

jean: if ichirou had my aim he would've shot you too

kevin: NO-

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random hoh neil (+andrew) kefu headcanons:

the only reason anyone figures out that neil has hearing loss is because they’re at a party and neil is a tiny bit tipsy and he just goes “don’t you wish you could hear as well as you did when you were a kid? like there’s sounds I miss hearing from childhood” - neil heard that people lose their hearing as they get older and he just presumed it happened to everyone and no one mentioned it until you’re like in your 60s

the foxes have presumed for a long time it's probably an adhd thing that neil can't follow more than one conversation at once. meanwhile neil just can't lipread them all

the other foxes (it’s mostly matt and nicky) convince neil to find a way to shut kevin up a bit on court. neil, always willing to fuck with kevin, goes on a seemingly sincere ramble one night about losing his hearing has made him become a better player because he’s ‘more in tune with the game’. kevin takes this to heart and starts musing about the importance of nonverbal communication on court and andrew is pissing himself silent laughter

andrew thought neil was beginning to lose interest in him. neil is appalled when he finds this out and says that andrew is, for once, the idiot in the relationship.

when neil gets his first hearing aids, he removes them every time kevin starts speaking and dangles them at him like it’s a bell

andrew immediately learns sign language. there are lots of things andrew can’t say out loud but he can sign. signing feels more purposeful and less open to interpretation. he starts signing things to people that he wants to say but can’t. (‘thank you for caring’ is directed at nicky over the noise of a busy party. andrew presumes can’t understand or won’t see. he does, but never lets on)