palmetto shitposts

gay? check. mentally ill? check. hotel? trivago. admins: 🤺, 🔮.

[palmettoshitposts]

i must say i adore y'all making renee a menace. she is so so cunty & i love her

it's our sworn duty 🫡

[palmettoshitposts]

Supervisory Special Agent Kevin Day, banging his hands down on the interrogation table: WHERE'S THE VICTIM'S HEAD?

Neil Josten, in a gaudy hawaiian shirt, pink twirly straw hanging out of his mouth, handcuffed to said table: Well, I don't know, Agent. I must have dropped it on my way in here!

[palmettoshitposts]

psu student takes to twitter to complain after losing a palmetto-themed trivia night because they thought the foxes mascot was the kevin day cardboard cut out the athletes are always talking about. he even has his own instagram account. who the fuck is foxy rocky?

[palmettoshitposts]

AITA for not forgiving my identical twin after he unalived my birth mother???

I (20M) was separated from my twin brother at birth--

[rashfcrd]

anyway renee walker and laila dermott both bond over being the only muslim gals on their teams and being such a minority in the world of exy 

[intradaya]

exy4lifers

[palmettoshitposts]

nicky: has been rambling on about twilight for an hour and a half now, laying out all of his headcanons and discussing the best fanfics he’s read

seth, who’s just walked in: what the fuck is a twilight? isn’t that the gay bar you lot go to?

aaron: it’s not a gay bar 🙄

andrew and nicky, staring at each other: …

neil: you’re entirely correct seth!

aaron: andrew you fucking swore it wasn’t-

neil: look i know not pulling is commonplace for you aaron but weren’t you the tiniest bit suspicious?

[writtenicarus]

no because the whole 'andrew doesn't cry or smile literally ever' is so unrealistic? he literally smiles off his meds several times in TKM and honestly just what??? does he just not heal?? he wouldn't stay the exact same for his whole life yes he is intensely and heavily traumatized but there is no way he doesn't ever cry or smile nora.

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i fully believe that he heals enough to get to that point, he’s just very selective. he’s not wasting his healing and emotions on just anybody. but i’m not just talking about neil (that’s a given). it’s nicky, wymack, kevin and aaron, too, who get to see it. all at different points and it’s never intentional that he decides to, it’s more like he’s just not mad about them knowing he’s at that point. nicky sees him smile at a stupid joke he’s made, wymack sees a tear the night before he graduates, kevin sees a smile when andrew opens up about something and ends on the topic of neil and aaron sees a tear during an intense session with bee. he doesn’t cry or smile freely but he fucking does do it.

[palmettoshitposts]

foxes with less trauma au: foxes dare contest, because truth or dare is pointless with this lot. they’ll either flat out lie or whack out their traumas (because even with less trauma, there’s still trauma). the majority of them are either ridiculously drunk or high.

neil has been clinging to seth’s back all night like a koala, because this is the first dare. renee and andrew arrive slightly later but do not question this at all. seth doesn’t even give a fuck but keeps forgetting neil is there while they’re sitting down so he accidentally throws neil into the couch when he gets up. neil keeps clinging on and matt is basically wetting himself with laughter.

aaron insists he’s not playing as soon as he arrives and seth drops neil on his head as a punishment. matt adds sound effects by screaming ‘BONK’ as this happens.

nicky is dared to wear one of allison’s skin-tight, bright red dresses. his only response is ‘you didn’t need to dare me to do that babes, but sure’. he looks fucking amazing.

kevin has to wear a paper crown that says ‘dumb fuck’ all night. neil made it in 20 seconds with a yellow crayon and cackles ever time he sees it.

seth calls wymack to ask if he’s seen their pet dolphin. wymack tells them to have a glass of water before they sleep and hangs up.

renee is wickedly creative with the dares while remaining sober. she’s responsible for aaron having to walk with one foot in stilettos and the other in nickys dinosaur slippers that roar if you put your foot down hard enough, matt trying to force himself into his shorts as if they’re a top and nicky rollerblading around the dorm. nicky has no coordination at all so that one’s particularly deadly.

dan whacks out her face paints entirely unprompted, which results in andrew with his face drunkenly painted like a fox. aaron has a dick painted on his cheek and allison has a cute yet wobbly unicorn on her forehead.

jeremy executes what would be a perfect handstand, if his legs weren’t against a door that swings open, making him flop to the ground.

theres a quick detour out of the dorms, where they all pile into the cars, just so neil can get his nipple pierced. aaron was so sure he’d back down from that. andrew makes sure neil knows he doesn’t have to do it if he doesn’t want to. ‘go big or go home, bitch’ neil says while swigging from a whiskey bottle in the back of the car.

while they’re at the piercing shop, kevin gets a tiny tattoo of an emoji shit on his ankle thanks to a last minute dare from allison.

jean dares neil to ‘do a backflip off the roof’ much to jeremy’s horror. andrew has to stop neil by telling seth to sit on him because he was genuinely about to go and do it.

andrew has hidden his knives (which he probably just has for throwing purposes in this au, thats what made him and renee late) because neil was gonna do something stupid as fuck for a dare and now, slightly high and very drunk, he can’t find them himself (they’re in the washing machine, along with renee).

[palmettoshitposts]

andrew had only been at psu for a year before neil came which means he had to learn to trust renee very quickly (by andrew standards). therefore, i believe it was renee who introduced andrew to the truth for a truth game.

andrew’s there like right what’s the quickest way to make this woman fuck off? i don’t need friends, i don’t need anyone. right, let’s tell the truth, but you know, the ugly truth.

andrew, into the complete silence: i’ve killed someone and i’d do it again

renee, without missing a beat: get in line, we’re friends now 😁

[danka-in-art]

Muscled women 😌🤌✨

-

Got an idea to beat an art block with drawing ✨backs✨ and I also wanted to draw Renee so why not do both at the same time 😀

[palmettoshitposts]

ideas from a foxes with less trauma au im too lazy to actually write. they are basically just friends who’ve been thrown in the same dorms and chaos ensues. here’s what you could expect to see if you entered the dorm:

andrew is always just on top of furniture he shouldn’t be. he especially loves sitting on the fridge and kicking away anyone who tries to open in.

allison and seth are engaged in a months long “who can sneak up and punch the other the hardest” competition. allison is currently winning. the bruise on seth’s back is so alarming he has to get it checked.

nicky regularly sits on aaron’s head to “cure his homophobia”.

neil and kevin competitive juggling (because that one post about that on here has me in a fucking crack chokehold, it such a fucking funny concept)

renee painting the scenes before her in a renaissance style. they are these glorious, stunning works of art that just depict the stupid twats around her. she’s so proud of them.

dan on matt’s shoulders to change a lightbulb even though matt could 100% change it himself. she uses his ears to ‘steer’ him in different directions.

jean and jeremy live in another block but jean gets drunk at a frat party and climbs through neil’s window mistakenly. andrew comes running in hearing a loud bang and finds neil and jean on the floor - jean because he’s drunk and neil because he was sleep deprived and tangled in his duvet when he tried to get up. that’s how jean and neil become friends.

neil scales the building to meet andrew on the roof, regularly. andrew is so outwardly exasperated but he’s weirdly into it?

renee is randomly hyperfixated on bonsai, but this is ruined when kevin, drunk as all fuck, is dared to eat the leaves and ruins her progress. she gets her revenge by cutting holes into all of his socks.

neil exclusively speaks german in a terrible accent one night that actually makes nicky cry. nicky is so pained he rings erik to complain and erik pretends neil is doing a great job. nicky thinks he’s lost his mind.

jean is just constantly high and gets very philosophical. but, like, badly philosophical. he’s either asking if ants piss in a deep, thoughtful tone or quoting obscure lady gaga lyrics. jeremy, equally as high, thinks jean must be a god.

neil inhales the helium from allison’s peppa pig birthday balloon and actually cracks a rib from laughing at his own voice.

dan walks in to see kevin in stilettos with his head rubbing against the ceiling and just slowly reverses.

renee steals the mobility scooter of a homophobic old man and exclusively uses it to get around campus. she calls it the pussy wagon to stop her male gay friends from using it. surprisingly this works.

allison gives a drunken one person rendition of the wizard of oz. everyone watches and finds it hilarious but renee cannot breath by the end of it. allison has never seen the wizard of oz.

they all get high and andrew exclusively talks to them in the lyrics of all star by smash mouth.

neil coaxes an actual fox into aaron’s bed and aaron screams so loud the police get called because it sounds like someone’s being attacked. for once, no one is being attacked.

kevin is a closeted amateur ventriloquist. as in, he practises in the closet.

renee fixes all of their (in this universe, minimal) trauma by holding a weekly story time where she reads them all picture books.

[palmettoshitposts]

let’s add some more:

andrew gets high and climbs in the washing machine one time. he decides he likes it and won't come out. it’s his new home, apparently

there's a blurry video of aaron risking his life to film nicky and andrew fighting with the machine door.

nicky is begging him to come out, sobbing at this point, and andrew just keeps saying “I’m already gay and out”

a super drunk matt decides to pour detergent over him before realising the severity of what he’s done. matt is genuinely planning his own funeral but andrew just squeaks out the most horrifying little laugh and everyone is watching on confused.

renee gets in at one point and is vibing. there is no room at all but it’s a great vibe. the next morning they can’t find her anywhere. she fell asleep in the washing machine all curled up like a cat.

[palmettoshitposts]

some andrew & renee thoughts

andrew likes renee because she’s not afraid to confront him, contradict him or say no to him. she’s not afraid of him at all.

renee is easily more dangerous and andrew knows and respects that. renee has a grasp on how to use knives better than andrew could ever imagine (before neil, at least) and it leaves him more than slightly in awe.

the whole sparring thing came about because when andrew pushed her one practice early on, she pushed back harder and they started fighting

she definitely hurts his feelings once or twice and he lies awake at night thinking about it. what bugs andrew that what she’s said is right. comments that are just observational in nature about his behaviour or character but they cut because he trusts her opinion on things.

one time, she just calls him out on something he thought she’d support him on - some stupid opinion - and he’s offended and irritated. and renee never says I told you so, so she just shrugs and moves on.

renee calls andrew out on being a misogynist. andrew is initially confused but renee bullies him into being a feminist. that’s how their friendship works. most of this takes place on the roof. before that was andrew and neil’s place (and even after), it was andrew and renee’s. but renee has no interest in smoking, so she joins him by bringing tiny bottles of bubbles and punctuating her sentences by blowing them. the one time andrew calls her a bitch, she just responds with ‘don’t🫧be🫧a🫧misogynist🫧’. weirdly, it works.

andrew likes renee because she’s all sharp edges and imperfections. andrew’s had more than enough of the horrors that lie behind the perfect facade.

when you get close to renee, you learn she’s got crooked teeth and a honky laugh. when she dyes her hair, it’s because of sheer boredom but she has a list of her next ten hair colours in her notes on her phone. andrew knows these things, and knows that knowing them is a privilege. he keeps this to himself.

renee can be spiteful and rude. renee can be snappy and unkind. but she acknowledges these things and takes accountability in a way that’s totally revolutionary for andrew.

she rarely apologises. one time, early on, a remark she makes at his expense is far too cutting and he’s not mad about it but clearly it’s impacted her. she apologises later on, carefully and sincerely, and it’s the first apology andrew has ever fully believed, even if he doesn’t think it’s required. he shrugs her off and she knows exactly what it means.

andrew never admits it aloud, but what he deep down loves about renee is how she can make him a better person.

she gently nudges him and his rigid thinking along the path of self development and it’s something he would never thank her for but he is endlessly grateful for.

[palmettoshitposts]

kevin day unironically has lightning mcqueen platform crocs that he uses as slippers

[palmettoshitposts]

@andrewminyardapologist you just levelled this post the fuck up im wheezing

[palmettoshitposts]

kevin day unironically has lightning mcqueen platform crocs that he uses as slippers

[palmettoshitposts]

ideas from a foxes with less trauma au im too lazy to actually write. they are basically just friends who’ve been thrown in the same dorms and chaos ensues. here’s what you could expect to see if you entered the dorm:

andrew is always just on top of furniture he shouldn’t be. he especially loves sitting on the fridge and kicking away anyone who tries to open in.

allison and seth are engaged in a months long “who can sneak up and punch the other the hardest” competition. allison is currently winning. the bruise on seth’s back is so alarming he has to get it checked.

nicky regularly sits on aaron’s head to “cure his homophobia”.

neil and kevin competitive juggling (because that one post about that on here has me in a fucking crack chokehold, it such a fucking funny concept)

renee painting the scenes before her in a renaissance style. they are these glorious, stunning works of art that just depict the stupid twats around her. she’s so proud of them.

dan on matt’s shoulders to change a lightbulb even though matt could 100% change it himself. she uses his ears to ‘steer’ him in different directions.

jean and jeremy live in another block but jean gets drunk at a frat party and climbs through neil’s window mistakenly. andrew comes running in hearing a loud bang and finds neil and jean on the floor - jean because he’s drunk and neil because he was sleep deprived and tangled in his duvet when he tried to get up. that’s how jean and neil become friends.

neil scales the building to meet andrew on the roof, regularly. andrew is so outwardly exasperated but he’s weirdly into it?

renee is randomly hyperfixated on bonsai, but this is ruined when kevin, drunk as all fuck, is dared to eat the leaves and ruins her progress. she gets her revenge by cutting holes into all of his socks.

neil exclusively speaks german in a terrible accent one night that actually makes nicky cry. nicky is so pained he rings erik to complain and erik pretends neil is doing a great job. nicky thinks he’s lost his mind.

jean is just constantly high and gets very philosophical. but, like, badly philosophical. he’s either asking if ants piss in a deep, thoughtful tone or quoting obscure lady gaga lyrics. jeremy, equally as high, thinks jean must be a god.

neil inhales the helium from allison’s peppa pig birthday balloon and actually cracks a rib from laughing at his own voice.

dan walks in to see kevin in stilettos with his head rubbing against the ceiling and just slowly reverses.

renee steals the mobility scooter of a homophobic old man and exclusively uses it to get around campus. she calls it the pussy wagon to stop her male gay friends from using it. surprisingly this works.

allison gives a drunken one person rendition of the wizard of oz. everyone watches and finds it hilarious but renee cannot breath by the end of it. allison has never seen the wizard of oz.

they all get high and andrew exclusively talks to them in the lyrics of all star by smash mouth.

neil coaxes an actual fox into aaron’s bed and aaron screams so loud the police get called because it sounds like someone’s being attacked. for once, no one is being attacked.

kevin is a closeted amateur ventriloquist. as in, he practises in the closet.

renee fixes all of their (in this universe, minimal) trauma by holding a weekly story time where she reads them all picture books.

[faerieleavesandsticks]

queen girlboss i’m on my knees