Impossible thoughts, hazy memories
We can assume that we are not in the usual state of ourselves if we do things we never do before. Taking a huge step is a big deal since we don't have a clear vision of what the results of our actions will become in the future. Although blurry, we are still eyeing to a specific fate — just like the tossing and flipping of a coin, we have already plotted in our minds what we really desire, either be it heads or tails. Even if we try to improve or just be our best selves, we'll never know the probability of our losing and winning.
Some already have been torn into pieces, and tried to tie and stitch their broken fragments alone. Withdrawn, they strived to survive and move forward, not looking to a possibility of making things like these happen again. But, would it be a meaningful leap if we let ourselves be open and available again? Would it be a significant one if we ready ourselves to be shattered likewise?
When staring at the night skies, we often watch as the moon smiles. While in our heads, we imagine scenes with someone we visualize in front of the many stars we failed to see.
There are moments that we close our eyes and pray for specific things we want to receive and people we want to spend time with. We already have a complete ideation of them, but what if we receive the otherwise? Would it have the same content we asked for but of a different packaging? What if we ourselves are given as presents yet neglected?
We don't want to break our own hearts by expecting people to be attached to us as we are to them. Maybe we are just being afraid of someone losing interest in us after getting so into them?
We are prisoners of our own thoughts, caught in the current of its flood. We tend to break our own rules then overthink of things we are unsure. Sometimes, we weep that we can't even speak a word and just fall asleep until our eyes runs dry for tears. Are these words that we can't speak worthy to be heard? Are tears and cries the only source of healing no matter how much we try?
These feelings are so complicated — our minds run wild but still, we get hopeful of the many positivities the future might bring us. Although these thoughts are impossible and just filled with hazy memories, I always cling to a dream that you too might be eyeing the same.
