#panic attacks.

[the-real-peterparker]

excuse my language, but

FUCKKKKKK

*everything’s speeding up—my heart’s pounding so hard it feels like it’s going to explode out of my chest. i can’t breathe—why can’t i breathe? my hands are shaking, and my vision’s blurring. i can’t focus, everything feels like it’s slipping away, and i just need to make it stop. something’s wrong, really really wrong, but i can’t think. my chest is tight, and i feel like i’m going to pass out—what if i don’t make it through this? what if this is the end? god no, pleaseeeee don't let it be. please.*

[onehpwonder-a]

✦;  HEADCANNONS #1

✧   sans works at least 4 confirmed jobs  --  comedian act at mettaton’s resorts,  ‘illegal’ ‘dog stand,  royal guard sentry,  &  fried snow vendor  --  plus a few other odd jobs that aren’t quite as known or frequent.  sans is in extreme debt,  &  is constantly working to catch up on numerous bills, ect.  ( x )

✧   sans is extremely scarred from both the resets  &  a nihilistic life-style even before that.  suffering from both PTSD  &  other unidentified anxiety inducing disorders.  his main triggers are knives,  blood,  &  dust.  ( x )

✧   sans is a fan of doctor who  --  mainly classic who,  though.  ( x )

✧   when sans can’t sleep,  he often spends time reading up  /  brushing up back on science subjects,  ect. post-pacifist it’s reading theories  &  such on his phone  &  spending time in a lab environment;  while underground,  re-reading the same books again  &  again.  ( x )

✧   sans usually doesn’t curse much at all due to a life-time raising his brother,  but at times can curse like a sailor  --  usually when he’s drunk,  frustrated,  at work,  or extremely rowdy.  often depends upon the company as well.  if he curses around you either it means he’s relaxed or in a terrible mood.  ( x )

✧   sans,  by nature,  is a monster that wants nothing more than to believe in  &  hope for the best in others . he may not show it,  but alike his brother,  he believes in you,  only he’s far more knowledgeable of the trials  &  difficulties that come with being ‘good’.  more realistic,  you might say.  he might not show it often,  but he believes in you.  due to this nature,  sans at first wanted nothing more than to believe the first geno run  /  neutral runs were mistakes  --  never confronting frisk until the end out of a hope they’d snap out of it.  they never did.  ( x )

✧   even before the resets sans was a nihilistic,  depressed monster.  when frisk first showed up,  he was slow to warm up to them  --  but they were the first thing to finally,  honestly,  actually give him hope.  he finally really believed in something,  in someone.  but then the resets happened.  &  his hope was cut down,  time  &  time  &  time again.  ( x ) 

✧   sans’ had crushes  /  squishes  --  confusing forms of affection on a few notable monsters at some point in his life.  in fact,  he used to be asexual  /  aromantic until he slowly became more  &  more aware of the fact that wasn’t quite true.  the shift from being ace to demi in both sexuality  &  romance was a difficult  &  weird time of his life, especially considering the skeleton usually doesn’t care either way.  if you were to label him, he’d be demi-pansexual  &  demi-panromantic.  ( x )

✧   either sans has learned how to magically make a rimshot noise out of nothing or carries around an app on his phone to do it for him  --  either way,  seriously.  ( x )

✧   sans may be a fragile monster with 1 HOPE,  but he won’t die unless he sustains extreme harm from a non-living object,  or another creature harms him with the intent to KILL  /  maim him.  a blow with the intent to kill will dust him on the spot  --  attacks with harmful intent will do major damage as is  &  still have the chance to kill him if not treated.  but damage from intimate objects  &  of the sort won’t kill unless major damage is caused.  so far,  only few know of sans’ low HP,  unless priorly discussed.  ( x )

✧   when needing a nickname in the multiverse,  sans goes by ‘impact’.  ( x )

✧   sans isn’t always cool  &  collected, at times being almost quick to anger,  blame,  &  judge others.  he’s paranoid  &  flawed,  &  known to be downright nasty if the right buttons are pushed.  he’s bitter,  &  often close to having a panic attack,  lashing out,  or snapping at others  --  but he’s learned how to play it off,  deflect,  &  putting on a mask.  ( x, x )

✧   sans plays the trombone,  kazoo,  &  kazookeylele.  he oftens goes around the underground playing one or the other,  just because he can.  ( x )

✧   sans can actually cook quite decently;  from ‘dogs using tyhpa plants,  to specializing in baking from toriel’s gifted recipes,  he doesn’t do so often.  not too many people know he cooks, either. usually just paps  &  tori  --  it’s not something he sees a point in sharing.  ( x )

✧   based on canon alone,  sans’ height is a mystery.  depending upon which source you look at,  he’s anywhere from 4′3″ to being a giant.  his height for this interpretation has been tentatively put at 5′3″  -  5′5″.  ( x )

✧   sans’ relationship with gaster is also a mystery.  canon doesn’t explicitly define their dynamic beyond them possibly knowing one another  --  &  seeing as i haven’t personally defined their relationship either,  this blog instead chooses to go along with whichever dynamic the gaster i’m currently roleplaying with sets  &  is comfortable with most any dynamic,  from being sans’ dad,  lover,  brother,  employer,  co-worker,  creator,  ect.  to often decide,  i’ll look at the gaster’s blog for specifics or IM them.   ( x )

✧   to earn sans’ favor;  laugh at his jokes  &  enjoy his sense of humor;  listen to when he speaks  &  coax him into telling you his troubles;  enjoy his passion for science  &  the stars;  understand the days  &  moments when he’s not at his best,  be patient for the constant demons  &  nightmares plaguing him.  ( x, x, x, x )

[rhirhijezza]

So, my social anxiety is back, I had a panic attack last night because it was mentioned that I was talking to people I'd never spoken to before and I completely closed up and it was awful. And then panic attacks every single fucking morning before school.... I'm so fricking done with this shit,

[ajsmusicmadness]

Getting panic attack at work over harmless comment about my suspenders ... priceless.

[ajsmusicmadness]

Dumb Panic Attacks, Go Aways, you're not needed here, stop making me feel like crying, i am string and will over come you and im saying this publicly to prove it.

[ofmiceandsharks]

Recovery is worth it.

No more waking up with the weight of the world of my shoulders .

No more hiding from the world.

No more panic attacks.

No more questioning why I survived

No more ” I’ve lost the will to live”

Because I’m alive, I survived for a reason.

I survived the torment of my own mind, I know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind.

Life is a beautiful thing.. Don’t let it slip away.

I am a survivor.

[ambliviance]

Anxiety attacks.

3 times this week. How. Do. I. Deal? haha :(