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Ill Fated ⍒Harry Potter⍒

warnings - mentions of death, long and mostly unedited, sorry. synopsis - After years of defying what everyone thought of your house by helping the DA and the Order, your time at Hogwarts ends with one final battle for everything you love and hold dear. With your family on one side and your friends on the other, making the choice of who to fight for has terrible consequences. a/n - So this is kinda based on a casting ask that I did a while back and since I’m watching the last harry potter movie right now, I really wanted to write this so yeah. This movie ruins me every time I watch it. It’s just gonna be sad, I guess. This is a Zabini!Reader, just so ya know. Also kinda ended up PansyxReader whoops.

***

Ollivander was hesitant to put the wand in your hands. Blaise stood by your mother and your fifth step father by the door, his own wand already purchased. You tried to cover your wide grin by biting the inside of your cheek, but the excitement beamed through all the same.

You didn’t even notice the way Mr. Ollivander’s thin smile faltered as he picked it up, reading the label on the front of the box.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” your mother snapped, her eyebrows pinched together in a permanent scowl. Ollivander seemed to snap back into reality and his smile returned as he slid the lid off of the box and pulled out the wand.

“Cypress wood with the core of a dragonheart string. 10 inches and 2/3rds. Firm.”

He passed the wand into your hands and you couldn’t control the way you smiled. His smile faltered again when the wand responded brilliantly to your touch. Warmth spread, not just in your own body, but throughout the entire shop. Mr. Ollivander closed his eyes, a sad smile pulling against his lips. Blaise felt it, looking down at his own wand as if wondering why his didn’t have the same reaction. Your mother felt it and for a moment, her permanent scowl softened. Your step father felt it, but he barely even flinched.

“This is it,” you said, your voice firm as you gripped the wand in your hand.

“Yes, my dear, I think it is.”

You didn’t hear it then, the sadness in his voice. You thought about it later in your life, wondering why giving an eleven year old a wand would make him sound so sad.

~~~

Seven years later, you were being ungraciously shoved into the dungeons with the rest of your house, protesting as Filch locked cell door.

“We can help fight!” You cried, reaching out through the metal bars to grab his robes. “You can’t leave us in here!”

“Bosses’ orders,” Filch grumbled. You growled in frustration, knowing all too well that no amount of spells would get you out of your current predicament.

“Give it a rest, y/n,” Pansy sighed from behind you.

“Our friends are out there fighting for their lives right now, Pansy!” You cried, whirling around to face her. “Don’t you care?”

“Of course I care!” She snapped back. “Why do you think I offered to give Potter up in the first place?”

Before you could punch her in the face, Blaise stepped in between you two, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Listen, y/n,” he said, speaking calmly as he always did. “In here, we don’t have to face Mom like we would have to out there.”

“To hell with Mom!” You turned back toward the bars. “What has she ever done for us anyway, huh?”

You leaned your forehead against the metal, hearing the shallow sounds of spells hitting the protective shield around the castle. You flinched with almost every single one and closed your eyes in an attempt to drown them out.

“y/n-”

“y/n!” You lifted your head only to find your best friend, Gemma Helm, running your way. She had discarded her Ravenclaw robes, wearing now something simple and much easier to fight in. Swinging from her finger was Filch’s set of keys. You grinned up at her.

“You brilliant, brilliant woman,” you mused as she jammed the key into the cell door.

“Phil is still distracting Filch, but I doubt it’ll take him long to figure out what happened. We need to get you and the others out of here now.”

As soon as the door was opened, you threw your arms around her neck, seeking the comfort she had always given you. The hug was quick, but it was enough to give you the strength you needed. You turned back to face the Slytherins behind you.

“We need to get the younger ones out of here. That has to be the priority. I don’t care if any of you stay and fight after that. I know most of you will be staring down family members, friends. No one will blame you for walking away.” You looked pointedly at Blaise and Pansy. “But I’m staying and I’m fighting for the family I made here. Hogwarts is my home and I will defend it.”

Without another word, you stood back, leaving the cell door open them to walk through.

“We have to get them to the Room of Requirement,” Gemma said as she followed after you. “It’s the only way out.”

You looked behind you briefly toward all the blank stares.

“Follow me!” You said and then you started to run, Gemma on your heels.

“You heard the lady,” Blaise said from behind you. “Everyone, to the Room of Requirement!”

You couldn’t help the proud smile that spread across your lips.

As you and Gemma ran, a chorus of thundering footsteps behind you, your other best friend, Felipe Abene, fell into step with you, his characteristic grin on his face.

“I see the plan worked,” he said, glancing between you and Gemma.

“Did you ever doubt it would?” Gemma replied with a laugh.

“Not for a minute.”

Phil’s blue tie still hung loosely from his neck, but his robes had been discarded.

“How we doing?” He called behind him toward the hoard of running Slytherins. There was a series of disgruntled groans, to which he laughed. “Almost there, folks.”

And you were. Turning one more corner, you found yourself standing in front of the large doors of the Room of Requirement. Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin stood just on the outside, ushering younger kids inside. When you slid to a stop in front of them, they both nodded at you, looking back at the Slytherins behind.

“Come on, kids!” Remus called, waving them toward the door. You, Gemma, and Phil took a step to the side letting the others through.

“Young years first,” Pansy said, standing in the front of the group. She was holding her younger brother’s hand. “Go on, Ash. I’ll be right behind you.”

“Come on, Asher.” You beckoned for him to go through the door and toward the portrait portal at the back of the wall. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

His little hand slowly slid from Pansy’s and he walked toward you timidly. You watched a tear slide down Pansy’s face as he walked through the door. One by one after him, the first through fourth years poured into the Room. Once they were all safely through to portal, you looked at Pansy again.

“You don’t have to stay,” you told her, throat starting to swell. It had been years since either of you had been on good terms so you weren’t sure how she would take talking to you now. She nodded her head slowly.

“I’ve been wandering around the halls of my house for years and felt nothing,” she said, looking at the ground. “Hogwarts is my home, too. If you’re staying, I’m staying.”

You nodded.

“Those of you who want to go, go now. These doors won’t stay open forever.” A few of the Slytherins pushed forward and ran for the portal, but a sense of pride swelled in your chest at the number who stayed behind. You fought back the desire to smile as you turned toward Remus.

“McGonagall will tell you where to go,” he said. “Stay safe out there, kid.”

You glanced between him and Tonks, giving a short nod.

“You, too.” Facing your small army once again, Gemma and Phil on either side, you sucked in a deep breath. “Follow me.”

As you started down the way you had come, you noticed distinctly that Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, and your brother were all missing. A twisting feeling in your gut told you that something wasn’t right, but there was no time to question it.

A war was breaking and you were needed on the front lines.

By the time you made it to the courtyard where McGonagall was still directing students and teachers and the Order, the sky was illuminated by the spells bouncing off of the shield overhead. Pansy stood just behind you as you walked up to McGonagall.

“Headmistress,” you said. She startled and turned toward you. At the sight of you and the others behind you, her eyes widened. “Where do you want us?”

~~~

Your heart pounded as the shield began to splinter, falling to pieces like ash.

“Are we going to win?” Pansy whispered, her voice shaking as she stood behind you, holding her wand tightly. You couldn’t bring yourself to tear your eyes from the disintegrating shield, knowing that was your last line of defense before the battle started. Still, you nodded.

“Of course we are.”

There was an explosion somewhere in the distance and one of the girls beside you screamed. Before you could turn to comfort her, Phil was already on it.

“You’re Pansy then, huh?” Gemma said, appearing on the other side of Pansy, who nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Um, yeah.”

“You broke my best friend’s heart you know.”

Your face burned and you spun around, hoping to stop the conversation before it carried on.

“Did you find my brother?” You asked her. Gemma let her glare leave Pansy and soften as she looked at you.

“Granger, Weasley, and Potter just pulled him and Draco out of the Room of Requirement, which is on fire, apparently. Goyle went in but never came out and who knows where Crabbe is.”

“Where is Blaise now?” You asked, heart starting to thrum again.

“Not sure. They scattered as soon as Granger destroyed the diadem.”

“Merlin’s Beard, Blaise,” you hissed into the darkness, turning back toward the window. You let out a shaking breath. “You guys stay here. I’m going to find him.”

You started to walk away, but Pansy reached out and grabbed your wrist.

“Not without me, you’re not.”

“Pans, he’s my brother-”

“I know. We’ll find him...together.”

“You two go,” Phil said, returning to his place beside Gemma. “We’ve got this covered.”

He hooked his pinky finger around Gemma’s, who nodded her head slowly.

“I love you guys,” you told them, your eyes suddenly burning with tears as your gut twisted. Your voice shook as you spoke. “I hope you know that.”

“This isn’t goodbye, silly,” Gemma said with a smile, even though her eyes were watery, too. “Just bring your brother back.”

Nodding your head and clenching your jaw to keep from crying, you stepped forward, pressing your forehead to the both of theirs. You took Gemma’s hand and Phil’s in your own and all three of you closed your eyes. A few stray tears dropped from your eyelashes and rolled down your cheek.

You breathed in deeply through your nose and leaned away, giving their hands one last squeeze before pulling away from them completely.

“Watch out for each other,” you told them, stepping back toward Pansy. They both nodded.

“Always,” Phil said, looking down at Gemma.

“Catch you on the flip side,” Gemma said. She lifted her fingers to her temple as a salute and you mimicked the movement.

“We should go,” Pansy said quietly from beside you. You nodded your head, chewing on the inside of your lip. You turned away from your friends quickly, hoping you wouldn’t change your mind about leaving them. “You’ll see them again.”

“Let’s just go.”

It wasn’t long before the castle was swarmed with Death Eaters, snatchers, spiders, and all other kinds of horrific creatures. You couldn’t count the number of screams you heard or how many had come from yourself.

A spell whizzed past your head and you spun to dodge it, wrapping your arm around Pansy’s waist to push her out of the way.

“You trying to get killed?” You asked her, conscious of how close you were to her.

She shoved you away from her slightly, but her touch against your wrist lingered. While the two of you stared at each other, a Death Eater threw another spell your way.

“y/n!” Pansy threw up the Protego shield while you turned and sent a counter curse that hit the Death Eater square in the chest. “Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

You rolled yourself and reached out, grabbing her wrist.

“Come on.” You pulled her after you and not once did she protest to you keeping hold of her.

As you fought, throwing stray spells where you could and giving aid to those who needed you, your eyes scanned the corridors for your brother. A thousand voices screaming spells and the sound of crumbling stone filled your ears, making it impossible to call his name. Even if you had, you weren’t sure he would have been able to hear you.

“There!” Pansy cried, pointing across the courtyard. Lo and behold, your brother was ducking under a spell before turning his attention back toward the spiders that cornered him. Your gut curdled. Never before had you seen such large spiders and it made your spine tingle.

“Blaise!” You nearly shrieked, hoping your voice would carry far enough that he would know you were coming. Without a second thought, you started forward, right into the brunt of the fighting. Pansy followed right on your heel, protecting you from the back as you ran as fast as your legs would take you toward your brother.

Brooms whizzed by you, firing spells from above at the spiders and trolls and giants that wrecked havoc. You saw a man produce a patronus from your left, illuminating the night and fending off a hoard of dementors.

“Stupifey!” You sent a spell right into the mask of a Death Eater. You had stopped wondering a long time ago if any of them were you mother. It didn’t matter anymore. She made her choice and so had you.

“y/n!” You heard Blaise shout from where he was, finally seeing you charging toward him.

“Blaise!” Your cry was desperate as you fought to reach him.

You set one particularly large spider on fire and you weren’t sure you would ever get the smell of its burning flesh out of your nose or the sound of it’s painful screams from your ears.

A few spells later and you were hurtling yourself into the arms of your brother.

He squeezed you tight, his hands shaking as he cradled you against his chest. You were ashamed of the tears that began to squeeze out of your eyes.

“I couldn’t find you,” you said, voice breaking. “I thought-”

“I know. I’m sorry. We need to get out of here,” he said, taking your hand. Pansy stood in front of you, shouting spell after spell at any attacker in the hopes of giving you and Blaise a moment alone. You shook your head at him.

“There’s no where else to go. The Room of Requirement is burned. Besides, they need us here.”

“Damn it!” He hissed, eyebrows furrowed together angrily.

“We can do this, Blaise,” you told him, your tears starting to dry. You tensed your hand around his, hoping to give him some of your strength. “You and me, we can do this.”

He met your eyes, softening.

“You and me.”

With that, the two of you turned toward Pansy to help her fight.

Not much later, you were backed into a corner, a series of dementors closing in on you. You sucked in a deep breath, hoping to push out all the fear and grief and panic that weighed down on your chest.

“What do we do?” Pansy asked. Blaise put a protective arm around her shoulders as you stepped forward to face the cloaked figures yourself. Harry taught you this spell two years ago when you were working with the DA. It had been easy then, when happy memories were abundant and frequent. Now, it was harder to remember the light surrounded by so much darkness. Still, you had to try.

Closing your eyes, you tried to remember to a time before Voldemort had control over the wizarding world. A distant laugh echoed through your ears. Gemma’s laugh. A memory started to form. Gemma, Phil, and you had snuck out of the castle at night, stripped down to almost nothing, and went for a midnight dip in the black lake. You saw the way Gemma’s eyes glowed in the moonlight, how Phil would dip his head under water and make bubbles. A laugh rippled through you, despite the chaos ensuing around you.

That was the last time you could remember being truly happy before Dumbledore was killed and Voldemort took over. A fire burned in your chest. You would see Gemma laughing again, you would have Phil continue his silly antics, no matter what.

Opening your eyes, dead set and determined, you uttered the spell just as the dementors closed in. The tip of your trusted wand glowed white and then sprouting forth came a fully formed grizzly bear, mouth foaming and teeth ready for shredding. The dementors recoiled and Pansy gasped from behind you.

The bear ravaged through the dementors, making quick work of sending them off. Once they were gone, you lowered your wand, breathing heavily. The bear walked back toward you, large and terrifying, even when it was no longer on kill mode.

You lifted a hand toward the corporal bear, pressing your forehead to it’s face. You almost thought you could feel its fur before the light of the creature faded and the darkness returned.

Just as you turned toward your brother and Pansy, a low humming echoed through your ears. Then you heard Voldemort’s voice in your ears. You clamped your hands over your ears in an attempt to block it out, but it was no use.

He was giving you a reprieve, a chance to move the dead and rest as he waited for Harry Potter to meet him. You wondered if the boy would actually do it.

When his voice had gone silent once again, you opened your eyes and looked back toward Pansy and Blaise.

“They’ll need our helping moving bodies,” you said. You tried not to let yourself choke over the word, but you did anyway. Blaise and Pansy simply nodded.

You found yourself in the Great Hall, walking numbly past the rows of bodies. You heard the sound of sobbing from almost every corner. Somewhere in the back, the red haired Weasley boy, Ron, was weeping. You felt the sting of tears in your eyes again. Looking down at your feet, your heart plummeted.

Remus and Tonks, the two members of the Order who trusted you first, lay on separate mats, heads turned toward each other.

Your throat swelled, chin starting to tremble.

“y/n?” Pansy walked up behind you.

“They just had a kid,” you whispered, unable to speak any louder. “They had a son.”

She stepped closer to you, reaching forward and slowly lacing her fingers through yours. You sucked in a shuddered breath, but the warmth of her hand in yours gave you enough strength to at least breathe. Even if Harry went to Voldemort, there was no way the Dark Lord would leave a cobblestone of this castle standing.

The second wave of battle would be worse that the first and you had to be ready for it.

You left the Great Hall, unable to stand the sound of shrieks any longer. Blaise stood just outside, tears drying on his face.

“I heard about Goyle,” you said, walking up to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

Blaise shrugged, but as soon as he did, his face started to crumble. You put a hand behind his neck and pulled you closer to you, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He gasped for breath as sobs began to pour from his mouth. His arms shook fingers tensing and flexing before he curled his fists and put his arms around your waist, holding onto you tight.

“I should have caught him,” he sobbed, burying his face in your hair. It broke your heart to hear Blaise cry like this. You shook your head, pulling him in closer.

“You did everything you could,” you told him, hoping he couldn’t hear your voice tremble. “There was nothing you could do.”

You let him cry until he was all dried out. You held him until he pulled away, sniffing once. He wiped away his tears and you put a hand on the side of his face, forcing him to look in your eyes.

“We’re gonna be okay,” you told him and gave him your best smile. “Whatever happens, we’re going to be okay.”

He believed you.

You were hoping to look for Gemma and Phil, but before you could even try, you heard a the sound of footsteps from outside. Turning, you sent a worried glance Pansy’s way. The three of you took calming breaths before stepping out toward the courtyard.

You stood near the back as what remained of the Death Eaters and Snatchers lined up behind Voldemort, who wore a victorious grin on his face. You sickened, feeling the sudden urge to empty your guts on the stairs.

“Harry Potter is dead!” He called out, earning a wicked cackle from the army behind him.

“No!” Ginny Weasley cried, starting forward before her dad grabbed her and pulled her back. “No!”

The sound of her heart break made your lip quiver. As much as you knew you should have been paying attention to what the Dark Lord was saying, your eyes were fixated on scanning the crowd for your mother. In your mind, either she was there or she was one of the many bodies littering the floor of the castle. Your heart dropped when you didn’t see her. You knew the cost of fighting against her, you had just thought it wouldn’t hurt so much.

“Draco,” a voice called from the other side, pulling your attention back to the present. Your eyes were now looking for someone else, whose ice blond hair wasn’t difficult to find. Tousled and dusty, Draco’s hair was still a dead give away to where he was. For a moment, you thought he would follow the call of his mother. You were surprised to see a girl standing behind him, a girl whose name you didn’t know, reach out and slip her hand into his. He jumped slightly, turning back to look at her. You couldn’t see the look on her face, but Draco didn’t move. Instead, he lifted his chin ever so slightly and stayed where he was.

You couldn’t help but smile.

Voldemort hissed in discontent, but had barely any chance to dwell on it before Neville Longbottom, someone you had just recently had the privilege of calling a friend, lifted a sword and ran toward Voldemort. In one, swift swing of the blade, he cut off the head of the snake that had wormed it’s way around Voldemort’s neck.

And just like that, the second wave began.

As it turns out, Harry wasn’t dead, which was a welcome relief. Still, there were Death Eater galore ready to fight to, well, the death.

Peering over the heads of fleeing children for your friends, Pansy grabbed hold of your hand and pulled you harshly to the ground just as a spell flew over your head. She opened her mouth to say something but you rolled your eyes before she could.

“Don’t even say it,” you grumbled as you pushed yourself back onto your feet. Another spell came shooting toward you, but with a quick flick of your powerful wand, a protective blue shield covered you as Blaise returned fire and shot the Death Eater to the ground.

With a smile, you flipped your wand and pressed a kiss against the tip. Pansy sighed dramatically.

“Get a room.”

“Shove off.”

“Hey,” Blaise said. “Less flirting, more fighting.”

Pansy blubbered a few things, her cheeks turning red. You didn’t need to be told twice. As everyone ran inside for cover, you stayed outside as long as you could, making use of your shield to protect as many of the students as possible.

The screaming had started again by the time you ran back into the castle. Everything was a flurry of spells, explosions, and things to trip over. Even Pansy’s breathing became erratic with panic.

“HELP!” You heard a shriek from somewhere deeper in the castle. You glanced over at Blaise and Pansy, who both nodded. The three of you were taking off down the corridor, wands ready.

But none of you were prepared for the ambush. As soon as you rounded the corner, a volley of spells were fired at you. Pansy shrieked, Blaise grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back around the corner.

You got hit in the chest with a stupefy spell, hurtling you backward, but luckily to safety. The wind knocked out of your lungs as Pansy cried out your name. Blaise fired off spells as quickly as he could, hoping to give you time to recover before the Death Eaters came around to corner to finish you off.

Grabbing your wand off the ground, you scurried behind a column, still struggling to breathe.

“Help me!” You heard the cry again. Peering around the corner, you caught sight of a kid, curled into a ball behind a rock right in the middle of the fight. His hands were covering his ears and tears made clean streaks down his cheeks.

You glanced across the way to where Blaise and Pansy were standing. His arm was still wrapped protectively around her, shooting spells. It appeared that she had dropped her wand and was now defenseless.

They were being bombarded. Dust and rocks fell down around them from where the spells were hitting the wall. They were trapped and the only way they were getting out was if the Death Eaters started firing somewhere else.

Pansy looked over, fear widening her eyes, and she met your gaze. Your breathing steadied, the shaking in your hands starting to fade. You knew what you had to do. You knew the only thing you could do.

“No,” you saw her mouth. You simply nodded your head. Blaise was so focused on keeping Pansy between himself and the wall and protecting the both of them that he didn’t see your plan beginning to form.

“No!” this time, you could almost hear Pansy’s shout as she tried to push past Blaise to get to you. Before your brother could react and ask what her problem was, you pushed yourself off the ground and charged head first into the fire fight.

“y/n!” he cried out. Pansy lurched forward, trying to follow you, but Blaise kept her back.

As soon as you had turned the corner again, all the spells started aiming toward you.

The kid gasped as you stepped in front of his hide out, creating a barrier for him, a chance to escape.

“Get out of here, kid!” You said to him. He glanced between you and the Death Eaters. “You gotta go now!”

With a quiet cry, the kid pushed himself out of the dust and made for the corridor where Blaise and Pansy were. He couldn’t have been more than 13. He must have stayed behind to help. You sent a protective spell his way to cover him as he ran to safety. He didn’t stop running. He never looked back.

The onslaught was more than you could handle. There were at least five Death Eaters focused on your early demise, all more experienced than you.

“y/n!” out of the corner of your eye, you saw Pansy clinging to the corner, trying to reach you, but Blaise kept her at bay, still attempting to fire spells from his wand.

“Go!” you shouted, blocking a spell and immediately returning another. “Get her out of here!”

“Not without you!” Your brother responded, shooting a spray of fire in the direction of the Death Eaters. There was no more room for you to pause and talk without giving up a chance to fire back.

You took one step backward and the Death Eaters took one forward. With every spell, they pushed you farther and farther back, while still managing to fire enough at Blaise to keep him from running to your aid.

You fired a curse that hit a Death Eater in the face, putting him out of commission. Despite the tiny victory, they were still too much for you.

They took your wand first. Expelliarmus was an old spell that you learned way back in your younger years and you never thought it was much use, until your wand flew from your grip, hitting a stone wall and clattering to the ground beside you. With no time to bend down and scoop it up, you had no choice but to perform wandless magic.

And you knew all of one spell without your wand; protego. With a flick of your wrist, spells were deflected before they hit you, only you couldn’t keep it up forever.

You missed one red spell that hit your shoulder. It felt like your body was on fire, like you were being stabbed by a million knives all at once, like your insides were disintegrating one at a time. You knew the Cruciatus Curse all too well. You couldn’t count the number of times the Carrows had used it against you this year alone. It was familiar, but no less painful.

“No!” You couldn’t tell if the cry came from Blaise or Pansy or both or someone else. All you could hear as your body collapsed to the ground was the chattering of your teeth.

The wizard who cast the spell walked toward you as the other three kept firing at Blaise. The wizard released you, leaving you gasping for air and a dull ache in your bones.

With tears in your eyes, you looked over to where Blaise was. If they didn’t leave now, they wouldn’t be able to get out and he was starting to realize this. Only Pansy refused to let go of the wall. Her eyes were glued to yours, her mouth hung open in petrified horror.

“Go,” you mouthed to her, but she shook her head.

The wizard bent down, crouching in front of you, but you kept you eyes on Pansy and Blaise.

There were tears running down Pansy’s cheeks and Blaise was sweating up a storm. They had seconds to spare. They needed to leave.

“You’re Zabini’s girl?” the wizard said and you finally looked at him. “Your mama is quite the-“

Before he could finish whatever foul thing he wanted to say, you kicked out your aching legs and knocked him flat onto his back. You snatched his wand and went to fire at him, but there wasn’t the chance before you were once again hit with another spell.

“Go!” You shouted, grinding your teeth together as you scrambled to stand. “Go!”

“No!” Pansy shrieked, but Blaise knew there was no other choice. He hoisted her off her feet and began to pull her back. “y/n, no!”

You met your brother’s gaze one last time before he vanished behind a wall. His eyes were watery and his breathing heavily. It took all you had in you to give him one last smile.

Once he and Pansy were out of sight, he screaming protests still echoing off the walls, you stood to face the remaining Death Eaters.

One breath. Two.

They stared at you through their blank faces masks. Your wand laid just a few feet away. If you could dive for it, grab it, and roll behind a fallen stone, you might have a fighting chance. You just needed to get there.

Three breaths. Four.

Your fingers flexed and theirs tightened around their wands. It was a show down, who was faster, who would make it there first.

Five breaths. Six.

Your last hope. That wand lying just a few feet away.

Seven breaths. Eight.

You leapt. They all shouted at once, green bolts of light coursing toward you through the air.

~~~

The first green light missed her by a foot, the second a little closer. The third whizzed past her ear and cut through some of her hair.

The fourth barely grazed her shoulder, but it was enough.

Her body hit the ground with a thud, dead weight against the ground. Dust flew up around her, pebbles rolling out of the way to make a place for her. The Death Eaters lowered their wands, peering down at her to see if she was actually dead. Not a single breath escaped her lungs.

Satisfied, the wizards ran down the halls, looking for more children to massacre.

Her eyes stared at the wall, unblinking. The last the the reflected in those dark eyes wasn’t the shine of green light, but the tears of her brother, the fear of her lover, the smiles of her friends. Hope still sparkled in those dead eyes, for she died knowing that today was the day that Voldemort fell for good, never to return.

Her eyes stared straight ahead, her fingers grazing the wand that long ago prophesied her ill fate.

~~~

It was Ginny who found her body covered in dust in that dead end corridor. Too numb from her own loss to shed any more tears, the young girl walked over to the body and, kneeling in front of her, shut her eyes.

And then she called for help.

They laid her next to Fred.

“We need to find her brother,” Neville said.

“Yeah,” Ginny replied, her eyes glazed over and vacant.

“Have you seen y/n?” A desperate voice called out into the hall. Ginny flinched. Gemma, with Phil on her heels, ran over to Ginny and Neville, opening her mouth to ask the question again, but stopped herself.

“Bloody hell,” Phil breathed, putting a hand up to his mouth. Gemma sucked in a shuddered gasp.

“y/n?” her voice broke with disbelief. She turned to Phil was her eyebrows raised, a question on her face. “I don’t understand.”

Words Gemma had never uttered before left her lips. Phil wrapped an arm around his arm around her back, pulling her in tight to his chest. Tears ran down his cheeks as he stared down at the body that was once his best friend.

“I don’t understand,” Gemma said again, her eyes miraculously dry as she curled her fist around Phil’s shirt. “I don’t-“

“y/n!” Blaise came running in, his hand still in Pansy’s, whose face was whiter than snow edged with green. “Where’s my sister?”

One look at Gemma and Phil told him everything he needed to know.

“No!” he yelled, startling the others in the Great Hall.

“Zabini, I’m sorry-“ Ginny started.

“No, no!” His voice rose.

“Blaise.” Pansy was quieter than a mouse, already quietly crying. “Blaise, please.”

“No.” Blaise’s shouting dissolved into sobbing before he even reached his sister’s body. Standing on her toes, Pansy wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a hug. His sobs shook his body and gets, but she kept the both of them as steady as she could.

Pansy looked up to where the body lay, barely seeing the tips of the fingers before she buried her face in Blaise’s shoulder so she wouldn’t have to look anymore.

~~~

Ollivander was hesitant to put the wand in your hands.

Seven years ago, he had given you a wand he knew would seal your fate. Part of him wondered if he had given you a different wand, your end would have been a better wand. Then again, the wand always chooses the wizard.

An ill fated wand, for an ill fated witch.

He stood above your casket, spinning your wand in his hands, wondering if he should place it inside.

“She loved that wand,” a girl said from beside him, her lips painted perfectly red and her dress ironed flat. “It served her well.”

Ollivander smiled slightly then, looking down at the wand in his hands. Slowly, he tucked it into the casket, in between your hands folded across your chest.

The girl was Pansy and she stood there like stone, just as her dad had taught her. Inside, she was falling to pieces, but she would not let the cracks show on the outside as she placed a single flower in the casket beside you.

Blaise was shameless in his tears. He looked impeccable, as always. You had always fixed his tie when it was crooked, but this morning he had to do it himself. That’s when the tears started and they hadn’t stopped.

After him came Draco Malfoy. Dishelved, hair tousled, tie half tied, dark circles under his eyes. Broken to pieces, he stared down at the face of a friend he once knew and wondered what he could have done if he had made better decisions sooner.

Gemma still didn’t understand. She woke up that morning expecting you to be there, only to remember she would never pull a daring move with you ever again. She stared at the wall, unblinking, for an hour until her sister helped her get up and get dressed.

Phil cried all morning, but stopped when he saw Gemma. His eyes were still red rimmed, but he kept his jaw clenched as he curled his fingers through hera. You had always been strong for him, now it was his turn to be strong for Gemma.

Ginny, Neville, and Luna had been to too many funerals to count. They didn’t expect to cry any more, but couldn’t help it when they remembered all the good you had done.

One figure stood alone and aloof. A young boy, who woke up countless nights screaming for you to leave him behind as he woke from nightmares because he knew that you had died because of him. If he hadn’t stayed behind, if he hadn’t dropped his wand, if he had helped you instead of running. If, if, if....

Your mother never came.

But you watched from above, smiling down at your friends, your family. Tonks and Remus stood beside you.

“You did good, kid,” Remus said, dropping a hand against your shoulder. Tonks put an arm around your waist pulling you in for a side hug.

Fred was there, too, hands shoved in his pockets. Lavender Brown was still crying from her own funeral. Colin Creevey was still confused. Padma Patil had her arms around Lavender, reminding her that at least they were together. Severus Snape stood just behind you, still and silent as ever.

“You ready to go?” Tonks asked, not just you, but all the others.

“That’s the last of us,” Remus said with a sigh.

“Yeah, why did I get the last funeral?” You asked with a roll of your eyes.

“Because they liked you least,” Fred said as he ruffled his hand through your hair.

“Oh, piss off, Weasley.”

“Make me, Zabini.”

“You do realize we’re dead, right?” Lavender asked. “There’s no point in flirting.”

“You do realize I’m into girls, right?” You told her. Lavender went read, but it just made you laugh. “I think we’re ready.”

You all stared down longing at the world below. One by one, they all slowly started to walk away, toward the light that shined brightly behind them. You stuck around a little bit longer. There was a small smile on your lips, but a dull ache in your heart.

“Catch you on the flip side,” you whispered. For the briefest of moments, you almost thought that Gemma looked up toward the clouds, right up to where you were standing. And your smile grew even wider.

With that, you turned away. Remus and Tonks had waited for you, standing just at the brunt of the light. You sucked in a breath, just one, your last breath, and joined them.

#pansy fic

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