We have no idea what we are doing. And in a way, that is the best way to do it. If you don't know the rules, you can set them as you go. The advantage we have is that we find what works and we let it work. Relationships fall apart because of the "rules" that come with it. We don't deal with that R word so we don't have the rules. Instead we find what makes us comfortable, and in the end isn't that the better option? To figure out what works best for your situation instead of attempting to warp your situation into what you assume it should be. Some words scare us, we don't use them. Simple. Some actions push comfort zones, we don't do them. Easy. The only solid rule I set (at least for myself) is "do not hurt her." And I subset with that rule with "Because I am human, I will make mistakes I will inadvertently do something hurtful. Always realize what I did, honestly apologize, and NEVER do it again." I feel that with that one guideline and the two of us working together to figure out how we work, we get the chance to be something unique.
Another advantage we have is that we know that whatever we are will end. Everything does and we are fools if we say otherwise. Even if whatever this is lasts until one of us dies, in the end we die. An ending. We know this and embrace the beauty of temporary. At any moment everything could fall apart and when it does, we will not be sad that it is over, but be glad it happened at all.
I don't know what this is. I don't know if I really want to know. What I do know is that we're broken in a way that it works. I am safe, comfortable, and happy. In the end that is all any of us can hope for. I don't know what we are...but I really really like it.