#paperhatcollection

[egopocalypse]

Pssst... I drew you some fan art, I'm just not sure if you happened to see it. -paperhatcollection

👀👀👀

Let me look

[paperhatcollection]

Cut content

(This was originally part of the last ask but I realized it was too dark to turn into fluff)

“Hey Vaskur? Can I ask you a question?”

“You just asked two.”

Flug shrugged, grinning sheepishly under his bag. “You know what I mean.” he said, pushing a blueprint across the table for Vaskur to have a look. “It’s, um. A bit of a personal issue. At least, it is for me so I kinda- uh, you know, assumed it would be for you as well but I.. um, I guess it might not be if your my opposite, but it’s just logical that you- that uh, that we agree on this and I, um...”

“Just spit it out already.” Vaskur said in a way that made the rolling of his eyes nearly audible. He was so thankful he didn’t have his alternate universe counterparts stutter. If he had, he’d never have spoken ever and pretended to be mute. Maybe he could enroll Flug in a speech class, or just invent something to fix it.

“How did you get your scars?” Flug blurted out. Vaskur froze, hand hovering over the blueprint Flug had sent him- plans for modified HatBot-Butler and Sentinel models, since apparently Vaskur lacked Flugs experience in advanced mechanical engineering in return for his biological engineering. Worried he’d crossed a line, Flug rushed to fill in the void of silence his question had left behind.

“It’s just, I uh, I k-know we couldn’t have gotten our scars in the same way, um, not that their like each other or like- or you know, because Black Hat gave me mine and, uh...” Flug fiddled with his hands, taking a deep breath and trying to slow down his words. “I tried to run away. I shouldn’t have, because it was stupid and useless and I had no one I could have gone to had I escaped, since a lifetime of villainy meant I’d be executed on spot if I tried to go to the heroes and there wasn’t a villain alive who’d have dared help or hire someone who’d betray Black Hat.”

Vaskur was quite, so Flug just kept talking. He wasn’t sure he could stop, not know that he was finally sharing this story. “None of that mattered anyways, because even after a month of preparation Black Hat knew the moment I stepped foot outside the manor. He tortured me to make sure i understood exactly what would happen to me if I tried to betray him. He had to patch me back up with his magic afterwards or otherwise... well, I couldn’t have made many inventions for him when when my hands were bleeding ribbons and bits of bone on the floor.”

“But.” He gestured to the bag that covered his face. “He left a few permanent marks up here to remind me who I belonged to. So that’s why I uh, I... asked you... you know, cause White Hat wouldn’t...” Flug’s voice faded into a mutter at the end, and whatever confidence had kept his voice spilling form him like a faucet shutting itself off. Once again an awkward silence hung in the air, and this time Flug was too afraid of blurting out something that would make it even worse to risk trying to break it a second time.

“...” Vaskur’s expression was unreadable, and not just because there was a literal paper-bag on his head. His whole posture was stiff and formal, like one of the very robots they were trying to create. As someone who wore a bag himself, Flug knew the importance of body language. He himself was twitching and jumping every few seconds as if put on edge, fumbling with the edge of the table.

“White Hat gave them to me.” Vaskur finally said, his voice a whisper. “He... didn’t know what he was doing. A villain had used some kind of... of fear toxin on him and we thought at first it simply didn’t work on his kind. It didn’t at first- not for awhile... than it began to set in.”

Vaskur looked to the side, but Flug knew he wasn’t really looking at anything. “Thankfully, 404 was strong enough to hold him back, but...” He sighed, lifting his hand to his face. “Isn't it funny? White Hat doesn't have healing magic. And yet he’s supposed to be the ‘good’ half.”

“I’m sorry.” Flug muttered back.

“Naw, don’t be.” Vaskur leaned forward on the table, waving Flug’s concern off. Somewhat literally. “I’d have asked you at some point if you hadn’t brought it up first. Besides, at least know I know you must have some iron balls to have run away from Black Hat twice.”

[paperhatcollection]

Just a couple of sea slugs in love on the ocean floor

[paperhatcollection]

love at first sight

(Continued from part 4 of my comic here)

White Hat hadn’t yet been alive for more than a century, but he’d never seen anything like this, and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever see anything like it again. It was such a small, simple thing- Vaskur had removed the bag he wore on his head at all times because of a coffee stain, and White Hat could see his face for the first time.

Pale, dry skin pulled taut over half a face, housing a sunken eye and without eyebrows. The other half was exposed muscle and and jawbone, teeth without lips and an empty socket where an eye should be- with only a few cords sticking out that connected to his goggles no doubt. What hair he did have was white and sticking out of his head in short clumps.

He was beautiful.

White Hat was shivering as he stared at Vaskurs exposed face, a shaking hand reaching up to clench at his coat, where he could feel his heart skip a beat in his chest. Between lessons from his brothers, fights besides heroes who thought him an ally, and that time he’d thrown himself down the staircase on a sled with Demencia, he’d never felt like this before. It was like someone had lit a spark just under his skin, and tingling feeling traveling through his skin and the growing blue blush on his skin to pool in a burning pit of need in his stomach.

He hadn’t realized he was moving until Vaskurs eye flicked up to meet his in sudden confusion, his remaining skin cradled in one of White Hat’s hands. He ran his thumb down the crevice that used to be a cheek, drinking in Vaskurs face like needed it in the same way a human needed oxygen. Behind him, Flug had jolted in surprise, looking past Black Hat at his brother, and Black Hat turned to do the same.

“White Hat.” Black Hat snapped, drawing White Hat out of his daze and causing him to jerk back in surprise. “ You can gawk at the doctor later, right now need to remind them why it’s important to always alert me in advance to their use of highly explosive materials.”

“Oh- uh, um, I huh, okay, I’ll just…” White Hat stammered, before his body broke down into a white mist and fled the room through the wreckage that had once been a door. He felt so embarrassed now that the warm feeling before had faltered out, hiding himself away in his room before he even knew where he was going, falling onto his bed with his head in his hands.

-----

Pace 20 steps, turn around, repeat. At this point, White Hat was probably going to dig a trench in the hallway with his footsteps. Each time he passed the newly restored lab door, he wrung his hands together and bit his lower lip, trying to gather the nerves to enter the lab- or at the very least lift his hand and knock without bolting.

Since the last time the lab had blown up, and White Hat had gotten a glimpse of Vaskurs face, he’d been unable to think of anything else. It followed him through every task he could, at times making his hands shake too badly to do even the most basic of tasks. He wasn’t sure how to make the feeling go away, except maybe to ask Vaskur if he knew what had happened to him, but just the thought alone made the warm feeling even worse.

White Hat stopped right beside the door to the lab, lifted his hand up in a fist to knock- and dropped it, returning to pacing the hallway again. He couldn’t do this. Nope, no way, no how- he’d been here for an hour already, and all he was doing was stalling for time. Who was he even kidding- he was never going to go through with this, and he knew it.

Mind made up, White Hat glanced up towards the end of a hall, taking one more step on his way back to his room, fully planning on slipping away unnoticed, when the lab door to his left swung open. Flug paused mid step out of his room, White Hat frozen in place as the two stopped to stare at each other in surprise.

“Oh- White Hat, hello.” Flug said after an awkward silence. “I uh- I didn’t expect to see you there.”

“I was just… uh, passing through.” White Hat muttered in response, fiddling with the edge of his cape. “Um, I haven't seen you or Vaskur around the house in a few days…”

“Yeah,” Flug stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him. “We’ve been busy catching up on deadlines. Which isn't that unusual for us, but between some of our recent products we haven't had much time to breathe. Or remember to eat” Flug shrugged. “I was just heading to the kitchen to get food for the two of us. 505 should have prepared something by now.”

“Oh.” White Hat glanced at the closed door, and then back to Flug. “Do you, um, need any help?”

“Huh.” Flug paused to think about that. “Normally I’d ask 505 for help, but you’re welcome to take his place if you’d like.” With that, Flug began to walk towards the kitchen, White Hat hurrying to keep up with him despite being the one with the longer legs. Flug always moved quickly from one place to the next, like he had a schedule to keep or a plan in his mind that needed to get done.

White Hat was used to watching Flug and his boss together from the sidelines, advertising products or working through company paperwork. Technically, Flug’s position in the company was Black Hat’s assistant, after all. But between White Hat and Flug- they’d never really interacted much before, come to think of it, nor had White Hat ever really interacted with Vaskur before. If anything, he normally hung out with Demencia or helped 505 out around the house when he wasn’t working.

He wasn’t sure what the bag brothers must think of him, actually. White Hat glanced at the back of Flug’s bag, rubbing his arm. Did Flug have the same scars  as Vaskur, or something different? He’d asked Demencia if she knew, and all he’d gotten out of her was that it ‘wasn’t pretty’. Considering she thought pretty was his brothers shapeshifting into a monsturious, shapeless form with way to many teeth and claws and a couple of buzzsaws, he wasn’t sure if her definition of ‘not pretty’ included scars or pretty boys.

“So, why uh, why are your getting food and not- I mean, I don’t mean to be rude or anything, I was just wondering how did you two decide who would, um… stop working and get… uh, food… yeah…” White Hat asked, his voice spilling out of him like a waterfall of words. His cheeks were probably blue in embarrassment right now.

“It was my turn.” Flug answered, as if White Hat had asked in a totally normal way.

“Oh.” White Hat muttered.

They stepped into the kitchen, and White Hat was actually a little surprised that they’d already made it. Flug wasted no time in opening the fridge and pulling out two tupperware containers, one labeled ‘Planeman’ and the other ‘Boatguy’ in 505’s messy, child like skribbles. White Hat had never been more sure the blue bear had a sense of humor than he did at that exact moment. Flug popped them open and shoved them in the microwave, than opened up a cupboard ang pulled out a couple bags of chips, a sleeve of cookies, and a box of crackers before closing the door with his shoulders. Once the microwave beeped, Flug tilted his head at it and glanced at White Hat.

“Can you get that?” Flug asked. “And some forks.”

White Hat nodded, stepping around him and grabbing the silverware Flug needed before opening the microwave and pulling out the tubs- pasta, he noticed, than followed after Flug as they started on their way back. Temperature had never been one of the things that bothered White before, so the steady warmth of the plastic in his hands, while it probably would have burned a human, was a steady comfort to him.

“How often do humans eat, anyways?” White Hat asked, out of the blue. Besides him, Flug glanced at White Hat, tilting his head. White Hat felt like he’d asked something weird, smiling nervously at the doctor. “Um, I don’t have to… so I’m never quite sure… some of the people I work with have very different diets too, so I’ve never been sure if their a good example.”

“Normally, three square meals a day.” Flug answered. “But I’m not a good example either- or Vaskur. We tend to fill up on snacks, or just… you know, forget entirely. Like today.”

“Huh.” White Hat glanced at the food. “But these tubs are circles, not squares.”

Flug laughed at that, having to be careful not to drop the food piled up in his hands. “No, no it’s not that kind of square.” he said, shaking his head. “Oh, and can you get the door?”

White Hat glanced up at the lab door, a third hand morphing out of the folds of his coat and grabbing the handle, giving it a spin before pushing the door open and evaporating back into White Hat. Flug, unfazed by the random limb, stepped into the door with his snacks and towards the back of the lab, where he dumped them onto a relatively clean table.

“I’m back.” Flug announced, and White Hat, who had briefly forgotten about the other person in this lab, glanced up in time to see Vaskur straighten from over a table filled with beakers and spinny tubes filled with strange substances, pulling a mask off his bag and dropping it onto the table.

“About time.” Vaskur muttered, loud enough that it was clear he intended them to hear, turning around and walking over to White Hat, grabbing the ‘Boatman’ tub, and walking over to Flug without a second glance at the demon. “You’re always so slow.”

“Than why don’t you just handle food runs from now on?” Flug asked, opening a bag of chips.

“Naw, I’m good.” Vaskr muttered, rolling his eyes and spinning his fork in his food. Neither man made any move to start eating, however. Not yet.

White Hat glanced down at the dish he was still holding, shuffling closer and hanging it off to Flug. Suddenly, his nerves were back, and he just wanted to turn and run away. “I uh, I can come back in a few minutes and get your dishes when you’re done.” he offered, fiddling with his gloves.

“Sure. We don’t care who collects them. You, 505, eh.” Vaskur replied, shrugging at White Hat, who nodded and backed away.

“Uh- okay than…” White Hat muttered, before turning and escaping the lab.

-----

“How come you’ve been spending so much time in the lab lately?” Demencia asked, tapping the top of White Hat’s top hat from her spot on the bed. White Hat, who was sitting on the floor with his back to her, stopped to adjust his hat before responding. He doubted that the fact she’d coincidently blocked his line of sight from the tv was an accident.

“You spend a bunch of time in the lab, too.” White hat pointed out, picking his controller back up. On screen, their little shooty guys were trying to keep back waves of other shooty guys from stopping them with guns that shouldn’t logically work in real life. They were supposed to be working together, but Demencia made everything a competition. “What’s your excuse?”

“Naw, it’s different.” Demencia insisted. “I cause chaos when I’m down there- you just watch those nerds work.”

“I’m just curious. I don’t know much about science.” White Hat said with a shrug.

“Yeah, curious about someone.” Demencia said, giggling to herself. “Your crush is really obvious, White.”

A blush began to spread across White Hat’s cheeks. “I don’t know what you mean.” He  said with a huff, fumbling not to fall into the games pits and focus on this conversation at the same time. “I’m not crushing on anyone.”

“Uh-huh, and I’m perfectly sane.” Demencia flopped over, her upper body hanging upside down from the bed as she stared at the tv screen, her tongue poking out the side of her mouth in concentration. “You follow them around everywhere like a lost duck, rush to help them out in the tiniest, littlest ways, and turn into a blueberry whenever someone mentions them. Face it White, you’re in l-o-v-e with a ne~erd.”

“Hmmph.” White muttered, his whole face tinted blue. He hunched down lower, barely able to focus on the game in his hands. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Trust me, White. I’ve been chasing your brother for years.” Demencia winked at White. “I know a thing or two about falling in love. There's just one thing I don’t get.”

“What is it?” White Hat asked, sighing. There was no changing Demencia’s mind on this, was there?

“Why haven't you asked him out yet?”

The sound out of White Hat’s mouth was somewhere between Demencia’s name and the sound a cat made when you dropped it into a bath full of water and tried to wring it dry.

-----

“Are we sure we added enough flour?” White Hat asked, the recipe book in his hands and the tray of cookies in front of them. They hadn’t cooked right, and were still a little too sticky and formless to eat.

“Bawr.” 505 said.

“Yeah, I did use a cup.” White Hat answered, flipping the page and scanning the recipe.

505 shook his head, pointing at a plastic measuring cup on the counter. “Rawr.”

“This?” White Hat put down the book, picking up the measuring cup and turning over in his hands. “Oh- I just used a normal cup. You know, like the drinking kind. I didn’t know about this thing.”

“Ba-rawr raa.” 505 said, while dumping the cookies into the trash so that they could start fresh.

“What?” White Hat asked with a laugh. “I’m not trying to impress anyone.”

“Baaw.” 505 pushed the bowl back to White hat.

“I know they’re his favorite.” White Hat muttered. “I just… happened to feel like making them.”

-----

“Humans are strange.” Black Hat said out of nowhere.

White Hat waited Black Hat’s desk, unsure why his brother had called him to his office. For the most part, he was just standing by the massive window behind his desk, hands clasped behind his back and looking at something White Hat could see from behind him.

“Um… okay.” White Hat answered after a moment.

“I don’t understand them. Nor do I understand our brother and his obsession with them. Gray could be doing so much more with his life than… pretending he could ever be one of them.” Black Hat mused. “Compared to us, they live such short, insignificant lives, scrambling around with their heads cut off over every tiny little problem in their lives. It’s a wonder how any half decent villain emerges from such a stock of specimens.”

“Are you upset about another villain from the orientation video?” White Hat asked.

“No, that is… another matter.” Black Hat waved the idea off, before returning to this desk and sitting down. “I’m talking about the brothers.”

“The… you mean, Vaskur and Flug?” White Hat asked.

“Yes. I’ve met few humans like them.” Black Hat picked up a paper, scanning it. “I would almost say I’m… impressed by their work. And they’ve certainly had a lasting impact on my company. Their company is some of the few I don’t mind.”

“Huh.” White Hat responded. Coming from his brother, that was like glowing praise. “I guess that’s why you wanted them to work for you.”

“Indeed.” Black Hat held out the paper he was holding to White. “And take this to Flug for me. You seem to be down there enough as it is to make a simple drop off, Dove.”

“Oh- uh, okay.” White Hat took the paper, holding it close to his chest. “I guess- thank you, Jack.”

-----

White Hat stepped in the lab, glancing around for Flug. But currently, he was missing. Should he go look for him in the kitchen? Or wait for him to return. White Hat fiddled with the paper in his hands, unsure what to do with it know that he hadn’t found Flug.

“What’s that?” Vaskur asked from besides a large machine, screwdriver in hand. White hat jumped a foot in the air, having not seen the doctor next to his current project.

“I- uh, um, it’s a huh, a letter for Flug…” White Hat stammered, a fake grin plastered on his face. “I uh- where did um… he get… go too?”

Vaskur tossed his screwdriver onto a nearby cart. “Put it on that table over there. And mind getting me my wrench while you’re at it?” he asked, pointing to a table near him. White Hat nodded, hurrying over to the and dropping the slightly wrinkly paper onto the table and picking up the wrench.

White Hat turned around, only to yelp in surprise when Vaskur was right behind him and Way To Close, despite the fact White Hat hadn’t heard him approach. He leaned back, attempting to get away, only for Vaskur’s hands slammed down on the counter either side of White Hat, effectively trapping the taller demon. Gulping, White Hat wrung the wrench nervously in his hands, suddenly doubting Vaskur was nearly interested in the tool.

“Why are you really here?” Vaskur asked, tone firm as a command. It sent a shiver down White Hat’s spine, possibly from fear, possibly from-

“Um.” White Hat glanced down at the wrench in his hands, before timidly holding it out to Vaskur. “I’m.. getting the uh, the tool that… you… asked for…” voice trailing off, White Hat watched as Vaskurs eyes traveled to the wrench, back to White Hat, and back again. Then, without warning, he grabbed the wrench out of White Hat’s hands and chucked it over his shoulder, where it crashed into something that sounded breakable.

“Nope. Round two. Besides, that’s no why you came here.” Vaskur tsked, wagging his finger at White Hat.

“Oh- I uh, I had to bring Flug some paperwork.” White Hat muttered.

“Flug doesn't work on fridays- it’s when he catches up on his sleep.” Vaskur leaned closer, but more importantly slipped his fingers through the folds of White Hat’s bowtie and brought him closer, face to face with the demon. “Wanna try for round 3?”

When White Hat didn’t respond, caught in Vaskur’s gaze like a deer in the headlights, the mortal shrugged. “Fine than,” Vaskur said, pulling up the bottom of his paperbag to expose damaged, causing White Hat to gasp in a breath. “Let me take a guess.”

Vaskur pressed his lack of lips to White Hats lips, and the warmth in White Hat’s gut exploded throughout his body. And he kinda literally exploded a little, random, shapeless pieces of himself grabbing hold of Vaskur and pulling him closer to the half of his body that kept its shape, eye shuttering closed as he seemed to melt from the lips inward.

“Hey I’m back did you figure out how to-um, uuuuuuhhhh…” Flug froze as he stepped into the lab, staring at what he was pretty sure was White Hat and his brother kissing. “I’m just gonna… come back later.” he muttered, backing out of the room and closing the door.

[paperhatcollection]

Black Hat tries to confess his love but doesn't understand human customs

Flug stared at the present that had appeared in hi slab in confusion, wondering if 505 had left it behind while Flug had been out on a coffee break. It was a black box, with a beautiful red ribbon that looked too complex to have been made by 505, and with a color palette that was just a little too… edgy to be from the blueberry colored bear. 

Hesitatingly, pausing only once, he reached his hand out to the ribbon and tugged the end, the whole thing unraveling like it had been made to unfold in such a grand fashion, the four ends falling around the sides of the box and leaving it free. Taking the lid in his hands, Flug slowly lifted it from the box as he flinched back, in case a bomb or something had been hidden inside and rigged to go off once he opened the lid. No such explosion happened. 

Peaking his eyes open, Flug tilted his head forward and glanced into the box, freezing at the sight. A human brain lay at the bottom, as if it had been freshly pulled from someones head and placed here for him to find, it’s own fluids soaking into the bottom of the box. Flug shoved it away from him in disguised stumbling away and yanking his bag up to puke in a nearby trash can. 

Black Hat, hidden by the door, snuck off in shame. 

“I don’t get it.” Black Hat whined, sinking further into the chair in shame. It was padded with big, fluffy pillows, and it’s arms and legs were made of thin, curling white metal. “Demencia always loved my gifts- but Flug seems repulsed by them. In the bad way.”

White Hat hummed, pouring tea for himself and cyanide for his brother. The cups, the kettle, and the table they sat upon all had the same blue and white, delicately interwoven themes. Surrounding them were flowers and bushes that rose high enough to block White Hat’s garden, even from the view of the house. “Well, Demencia is a bit of an… oddball, by human standards.” White Hat pointed out. “Flug’s… also an oddball, but in a different way.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!” Black Hat snarled, throwing up his hands. “I just want to know how to court him!”

“Maybe try using a few human customs?” White Hat suggested. “Take him out on a date, get him gifts he enjoys, spend time with him where you aren’t scaring him every five minutes?”

“I did! The bloody fool loves intelligence, yet when I got him a perfectly good brain he just threw it out!” Black Hat crossed his arms, somehow sinking even lower in the chair. “He wasn’t even grateful. I tracked down an old rival of his and everything.”

“Hmm.” White Hat took a drink of his tea, stalling for time to think. Black Hat didn’t seem to realize that, outside of Demencia, mind breaking monstrosity were not something they looked for in boyfriends. “Well, there’s not a lot you can learn from a brain, is there? Not unless you dissect it, but that’s Vaskur’s thing. In fact, he’d probably like a brain, now that I think about it.” White Hat muttered that last part to himself, before shaking his head and clearing his throat. 

“What I mean is, what Flug would like more is a book that he can read and can knowledge from, rather that an object that, in itself, simply represented knowledge.” White Hat paused, than snapped his fingers. “Flug probably likes practical things he can use, come to think of it.”

“Something he can use…” Black Hat muttered, now sunk so fare in the chair his shoulders were resting on the seat cushion. Suddenly, he shot up, a wide grin spreading onto his face. “I know exactly what to get him.” 

“J-Jefe, this is…” Flug fell silent, taking in the sight of the plane before him. It was a fighter jet model- jet black with the company’s logo printed on the side. While the company had long since owned a hanger and it’s own airport, it was mostly used to store the companies many escape vesicles for rent. But this was…

“I expect you to take good care of her, Doctor.” Black Hat leaned over Flug’s shoulder, his hands clasped behind his back. “You might have lost your license, but that’s no excuse not to use your full skill set when you see fit.” 

Flug’s hands were shaking, and he adjusted his bag to hide the movement. It was a good thing Black Hat hadn’t given him a set of keys or he’d have dropped them- but a plane this big wouldn’t come with keys, just a few switches to toggle and a computer to turn on. Flug could almost feel the controls under his hands now. 

“I… I love it, sir.”

[paperhatcollection]

May I request poly bh, Flug, and reader, where they try to cuddle reader smooshed between them like a sandwich? Thanks~

(Keyword detected; ‘try’)

I slipped into the kitchen, glancing both ways before darting to the nearest cupboard, grabbing the nearest handle and pulling out a bag of chips. Before I could claim my prize and take it back to my hiding place, arms wrapping themselves around my waist caused me to shriek and nearly drop the bag. 

“Found you~” Black Hat whispered into my ear. I could almost hear the grin in his voice. I squirmed in his arms, trying to turn my hear and get a good look at him. “Think you could get away from us~?” 

“Yes.” I reached back, grabbing the brim of Black Hat’s top hat and yanking it down over his eyes. Naturally, Black Hat reflexively let go of me to fix his prized hat, and I bolted around him and out the door, clutching my newly acquired bag of chips to my chest. 

My one mistake was not looking where I was going. I turned a corner, and nearly insistently ran right smack into a sticky pad that ground my movement to a complete halt. Flug, who had been leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, waiting for me, straightened up and began to approach. I opened my bag and shoved a handful of chips into my mouth. 

“See? I told you we’d win.” Flug shrugged, reaching over and grabbing a chip from my hand, slipping it under his bag and eating it in one bite. “Maybe if it was just against Jefe, but my intellect combined? That hardly seemed fair.”

“Huh uh.” I shook my head. “The bet was that you both had to find me and trap me with cuddles. But you’re the only one here, which means-” I threw my bag of chips at Flug, startling him into jumping away with a yelp and gave myself time to slip out of my shoes, jumping backwards off the pad and bolting down the hall. I heard Flug yell something and try to follow me, only to get trapped in his own sticky trap. 

I grinned, using my socks to slid around corners and check my watch. Half an hour more, and I’d win. And they’d never even thought to check my hiding spot in this whole hour I’d been given- I’d only bothered to come out of hiding to give them a chance. 

Glancing behind myself to make sure I wasn’t being followed, I ran into a room on my left and closed the door, waiting patiently while listening. Soon after, I heard the sound of someone else sock-less running down the hall, passing my room without pause. Smiling, I turned back into Black Hat’s bedroom, walked over to the bed, and flopped down onto the sheets. Half the time, Black Hat seemed to forget this room existed, and no one else in the manor would ever dare enter it. The idea probably never even crossed Flug’s mind. 

Pulling out my phone, I passed the time playing a little app game. Flug had promised he wouldn’t track me while we were playing out game, but I wouldn’t doubt that the rule would be out the window once our game of hide-and-seek was over. Sure enough, a minute passed the time limit, Black Hat threw open the door to his bedroom, Flug behind him holding his own phone and peering in. 

“I win.” I said with a smile. 

“Of course you hid here.” Black Hat sighed. “Fine, you win. We do whatever you want for the rest of the day.”

Smiling wider, I held out my arms to the two of them. Black Hat and Flug paused, glanced at each other, than were on the bed in the instant, dragging me down to the sheets with a laugh and snuggling me on either side. 

[paperhatcollection]

What if Dementia got hurt on a mission and Black Hat had to save her?

“You’ve got a mission.” Black Hat tossed the file unceremoniously in the vague direction of Demencia, not even taking his eyes off the paperwork in front of him. The thick folder landed squarely on the other side of his desk, slightly to the left of the girl. Had it been heavier, it would have been worth the effort to throw at her. “Don’t screw it up.” 

Demencia smiled brightly at the demon in front of her, snatching up the file and holding it close to her chest, giggling like a demented schoolgirl. “I love you too, Blackie~” Demencia said moments before Black Hat snapped the pencil he was holding in two. Seemingly unbothered by Black Hat’s subtle show of anger, she spun on a heel and skipping from the room, holding her mission files close to her heart like a love letter. 

One she really did need to open, unless she wanted to run around trying to guess who she was supposed to take down again. Heh. Taking down General Obvious had been quite the adventure. That memory aside, Demencia flipped open her folder, her tongue sticking out as she scanned the pages for the useful bits and pieces among the paragraphs of useless backstory she didn’t care about. Commander Strongarm, a top-tier hero that had risen in popularity in recent years. He was a cookie cutter blondie in blue and yellow spandex and the upper body of a Doritos. Demencia couldn’t see the appeal. 

 She turned the picture of the hero back and forth, a piece cut of of a newspaper with Strongarm smiling at the camera while giving a thumbs up. She felt like she was missing something with this guy. Maybe it was how fake his smile looked- it didn’t reach his eyes, not quite. And his shoulders were too slumped, they should have been higher like he was struggling to contain his own joy, and he’d never have smiled with so much teeth if he wasn’t posing-

Demencia ran smack into Flug, and her thoughts scattered like the papers now fluttering to the floor like a bunch of large, flat white feathers. Flug was shoved back by the action while Demencia was left blinking at him in place, trying to catch her thoughts back up to reality. 

“Flug~!” Demencia chirped, leaping at the scientist and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Just the man I was looking to see!”

“What do you want, Demencia?” Flug asked, rolling his eyes behind his goggles. Demencia wondered if he knew she could see his eyes through them. “I’m really busy, so I don’t have much time for-”

“I need to ask you for a favor.” Demencia reached a hand up, placing a finger over where on his bag his mouth should be. “And you’re the only one who can do it. See, I’ve got a mission from Black Hat~”

“And that involves me, how exactly?” Flug asked, slipping out from under her arm and turning away slightly, leaning down and picking up on of the papers off the floor.

“It’s far away.” Demencia explained, running her hands through her wild mess of green hair. “Off the island. I need a ride- and the best option would be by plane, don’t you think?”

Flug paused, turning towards Demencia slowly. “A flight?” 

Demencia smiled. Flug was so easy to manipulate. 

Of course this guy had to spend most of his time in the HA (Hero Association) headquarters in the middle of a crowded city, but Demencia was nothing if not good at finding all the perfect little cracks she could use to slip unnoticed from wall to wall until she found the right moment to strike. And when it turned out their weren’t any open windows she could crawl in through fifty floors above the ground, she smashed one open with her mace and crawled in anyways. 

An alarm started to blare the moment she stepped foot into the room, which she hoped would attract the right kinda of attention. Demencia could just imagine the look on Black Hat’s face when she brought him the cape of her newest target- his mouth pulled into a thin line and his eyes distant in that way they usually were when he was happy. Giggling to herself, she skipped down the hallway and knocked a couple of B list heroes out on her way to finding her newest target. 

Pausing, tilting her head, Demencia jumped on the nearest wall and scrambled up to the ceiling, darting forward as she followed the sound of a voice. She knew, despite not recalling having heard it anywhere before, that this was her target. The voice lead her down a hallway where Commander Strongarm was yelling into what looked like a circular walkietalkie, like something out of a kids show made to sell toys, trying to find out what the security team meant by an ‘intruder’. 

Looming down behind him, Demencia was careful to keep her feet planted above her as she raised her mace for one devastating spin, a smile stretching across her face as she stuck out the tip of her tongue in concentration. If only she hadn’t giggled, Strongarm never would have even thought to spin around, eyes going wide in shock at the villain about to bash his head in-

“Clemencia?” Strongarm asked, his voice barely a whisper. 

“What?” Demencia asked, freezing mid-swing and hesitating a moment too long that caused her to go crashing down to the cold floor underneath her. Hissing in pain and surprise, Demencia scrambled to grab her weapon and jump back to her feet even as the world spun around her, but she was too slow to stop the hero from slamming her against the wall, pinning her wrists to either side. 

“Kinky. But sorry, I’m taken~” Demencia said with a wink, moments before she lifted one leg and smashed it into the heroes chest, breaking his grip and sending him flying into the opposite wall. She might have even cracked something. Nice. Laughing now, she jumped forward and smashed her mace against the chuck of wall the heroes head had been moments before, only for him to have dodged totally uncool like. Frowning, Demencia swung her weapon around and attempted to get him as he tried to get around her, causing the hero to jump away. 

“Clem, it’s me.” Strongarm pleaded, worry dripping from his voice like a leaking faucet. “What happened- who did this to you? I- we can help you, I promise, just please, talk to me.” as he spoke, Strongarm attempt to disarm Demencia, who easily scrambled up a wall and away from him. It was almost like he was holding back. Huh. 

Smiling down at the hero, Demencia tsked and wagged her finger at him. “No can do mister. Black Hat wouldn’t be happy if I talked with a target instead of taking care of them.” she chirped, moments before leaping down at him and bringing her mace down for one huge blow while he registered the words she’d just told him. Instead, a blast caught her side, exploding and sending her flying across the room and smashing into a wall, collapsing to the floor like a rag doll.

“Clem! Zapmaster, stop!” the hero cried, besides Demencia’s side in a moment. Demencia struggled to move, already feeling the itch of her natural (given?) regeneration at work, knitting her side back together. Had she been human, a blast like that might have killed her- but she wasn’t human. 

Not anymore. 

“She’s trying to kill you!” Zapmaster yelled from somewhere further down the hall, and Demencia wished she could have turned her head and looked. It sounded like a kid- probably one of the newer heroes. He’d probably have been great to mess with, if she’d noticed him beforehand. Ah, well. As soon as whatever shock was passing through her system was done, she’d be up and at ‘um. 

She felt hands on her shoulders, and then she was being scooped up into a pair of familiar  arms and lifted into the air. She tried ti squirm, but her body was resisting her own inputs. Demencia mentally groaned in frustration, wanting to pout and cross her arms like a child. She barely even managed to open her eyes in time to see them fly through the building to what looked like a medical ward.

It looked more fun to wreck than Flug’s lab did. At least, what she could see of it. She tried to squirm again, but only managed to twitch the end of her fingers and toes, to her annoyance. She was so wrapped up in herself, she didn’t even see the Doctor approaching with a syringe until the world began to swirl around her. Cool. 

Demencia awoke with a pounding headache and a sore body. Nope. She didn’t want to be awake right now. She attempted to burrow deeper into her blankets and go back to sleep, only to realize her blankets were thinner than normal. In fact, she only seemed to have one of her fifty blankets present. 

Cracking open her eyes, Demencia was met with a white sheet she defiantly didn’t own, in a bed that definitely wasn’t hers. It reminded her of that time she’d been taken to the hospital, actually. Lifting her gaze off her bed to the room, Demencia found herself in a simple, small room without much more than a TV against one wall, a picture of a boat (it wasn’t even sinking) and a mini fridge in the corner. Next to one side of her bed was a monitor and bedside table with a tall vase and a single dying flower in it, and on her other side-

Oh. Strongarm was laying back in a chair, fast asleep. If he’d been put on guard duty for her, he was pretty bad at it. Trying to seize her chance, Demencia tried to jump out of bed only for her wrists to be yanked back by soft, leather cuffs she hadn’t noticed before, and the way the room spin when she tried to move to fast. Falling against the sheets, Demencia groaned as she tried to force her calm to calm the fuck down. If it wasn’t for whatever drugs were in her system, she’d have torn herself free and smashed Strongarm’s head in with the fridge by now. 

Unintelligible mumbling to her left told her that Strongarm was waking up. Demencia groaned and peaked her eyes open at him in time to see the hero stretch out and sit back up. It occurred to Demencia that he wasn’t wearing his mask anymore, and she could see his brown eyes for the first time. No wonder he kept them covered under that tiny mask. 

His gaze fell on her, and confusion than surprise flitted across his face. He leaned forward, placing his hand on one of hers and offering a reassuring smile. 

“It’s okay Clem, everything’s fine, I promise. You’re safe here.” the hero reassured, only to yelp back in surprise when Demencia snapped her head towards him and tried to take a bite out of his arm. The movement left her spinning, however, and she was forced to fall back to the bed with a groan. 

“Oh Clemencia, what did they do to you?” Strongarm muttered to himself, a frown tugging at his lips as he leaned forwards. Without thinking about it, Demencia reaches up and swiped her thumb across his nose, stretching her restraints as far as they would go. Strongarm blinked in surprise. “Clem?”

Demencia froze, bringing her hand back to herself and looking at in confusion. She hadn’t meant to- it had almost been like an old reflex. What was going on…

“Do you know who I am?” Strongarm asked after a moment, interrupting Demencia’s thoughts. 

“Duh. You’re Commander Strongarm. Everyone knows that.” Demencia answered, rolling her eyes. 

“No, I mean, who I really am.” Strongarm pleaded. 

“What do you-” Demencia froze, searching his face. Something was on the tip of her tongue, and she couldn’t quite place it. Something like a… a… “Alan?” Demencia asked, tilting her head and squinting at the hero. 

“You remember!?” Stronga- Alan asked, beaming. “That’s great, Clem!”

“Remember what?” Demencia asked. Alan’s face fell. “And why do you keep calling me that?”

“Clemencia?” Alan asked. “That’s your name.”

“Na huh.” Demencia pouted, crossing her arms. “It’s Demencia, get it right.” 

“But…” Alan paused, shaking his head. “We’ll get your memories back somehow, I promise. I was hoping talking to you would help, but…”

“Why, we long-lost rivals or something?” Demencia racked her head, but she couldn’t recall having fought this guy before. She’d probably have won. 

“No.” Alan reached out and took her hand a second time, despite knowing the risks. “You’re my fiancée.”

“Hurry up and find that blasted girl, Flug.” Black Hat growled, wine glass in hand. The red liquid that he was swirling around inside it might have been blood judging by the smell, but Flug couldn’t quite tell with his bag on. Either way, he didn’t ask. 

Black Hat leaned over Flug, his free hand squeezing the mortals shoulders in a constant reminder of his presence. Flug resisted the urge to squirm as he fiddled with the controller to his small, camera fly drone. It was self-piloting, for the most part, but pretending he was guiding it was giving his hands something to do while Black Hat made him nervous. 

It had been a week, and they’d heard no word from Demencia. Even worse, by the time Flug checked her tracker, he found out it had been broken. Right now, his little drone was buzzing through the HA HQ, searching for any trace of Demencia’s unique heat signature. 

The drone crawled along the ceiling into a medical ward, focusing on a small, sick girl sitting cross legged on a hospital bed in a hospital gown. Had it not been for her absurd hair color, Flug might not have recognized her. Black Hat’s hand squeezed his shoulder a little tighter for a moment before relaxing. Or at the very least, squeezed a little less tighter. 

Demencia seemed to be fiddling with something around her wrist- cuffs, Flug noticed. She couldn’t seem to get a good grip, and her fingers kept sliding off them as she cursed under her breath. Before she could get very far, a door opened and medical staff stepped in, causing Demencia to hiss at them. 

“As cheerful as always, I see.” a Doctor stated, stepping to the side as his assistant moved forward and grabbed Demencia, allowing the Doctor to pick up a syringe and approach her even as she thrashed in their arms. “Don’t worry- soon you’ll feel right as rain.”

The moment he pushed the drug into her neck, Demencia’s whole body relaxed, and she visibly sighed. The assistants let go of her, and one of them turned towards the Doctor. 

“How long are we gonna have to keep doing this, doc?” he asked. The man sounded… worried. 

“Just until we have everything we need for the surgery prepped” the Doctor explained, picking up a clipboard off the end of Demencia’s bed. “Then she wouldn’t even remember that old hatter anymore.”

Above him, Black Hat shattered the wine glass in his hand.

Demencia opened her eyes to discover she was once again being carried. But this time her eyes were met with red and black, and the arms wrapped around and under her where a lot thinner than Strongarms had been. Demencia curled closer to the cold of the others chest, hoping this wasn’t a dream. 

A smack to the top of her head was enough to convince her she was awake. She jerked, looking up at Black Hat’s face and then around them as they passed through walls splatted with blood and chunks of former heroes. Demencia giggled as she waved her feet back and forth in the air, rolling Black Hat’s tie through her hand. “Hello handsome~” she purred. 

“You had one job.” Black Hat growled above her. “And you screwed it up. Remind me why I don’t just toss you out again?”

“Because you love me.” Demencia answered with a smile stretched across her face. 

“And don’t you dare forget it.” he snapped, while stepping on the remains of Strongarms skull. 

[paperhatcollection]

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