Reflect on your daily life and describe in detail an everyday activity that you have ritualized.
When are you most aware of being owned/submissive?
“When one jumps over the edge, one is bound to land somewhere.” – D. H. Lawrence
My first time *for real* journaling :)
First, bedtime, because bedtime has always been routine for me. Before i met papi, my evening routine was exactly the same, always. When I met him, he immediately became part of my nightly routine, and I became part of his. Many years later, bedtime is still almost exact every night, and it makes solid the day, no matter what has happened.
I put tiny dog out to potty
I bathe tiny dog so she gets to sleep with me and put her in our bed
I put out bath towels and washcloths for me, papi, and teenager
I put out sleeping shorts for papi
I am supposed to brush out my wet hair, so it doesnt tangle and go all ick
I get a new giant sippie of water in hopes that I drink more because I never drink enough
I absorb my favorite parts of the internet
Papi showers and brushes his teeth
I give papi back his pillow I have stolen to use so my pillow didnt get all wet from my hair
I help papi beat whoever he is currently playing in scrabble
We watch something together, and I am most happy if I am sucking on his knuckles while we do
Second, not as easy peasy for me to articulate, so forgive my jumbledness. When I feel most aware that I am safe, and I am not alone, running my own show, is when I have quiet in my overly crowded super loud screeching mind. I do not know how to explain that. But, when papi helps me find quiet, that is when I feel peace. Sometimes, it can be something tiny, like him just making a face at me when I look at him, as I lose it inside, over what is likely nothing to anyone else around us. My brain goes, oh, click, we can settle down some now cant we? And I feel a moment of woosh, quiet. And ohhh that is lovely. That is when I feel most like I am kneeling, which I would be happy doing if he would rule it :)
