Blaine smiles as he finishes packing his suitcase, looking over at Sebastian before he sits down on the bed. They're heading to the beach while he has a break in filming and Blaine can hardly wait--he can't remember the last time he had time to go to the beach. Especially a nice one like Sebastian is taking him--he's never really been.
"I'm really looking forward to this," He smiles over at his boyfriend, "Just a tiny vacation--to get away with you. Not to mention I've never been to a nice beach." He laughs.
Blaine is laying out newspaper and drop clothes around the living room in preparation of a painting day with Sebastian when Sam walks in from the kitchen with a raised brow, “What are you doing there, B?”
Blaine finishes putting down the drop cloth he just shook out before straightening up and turning to his friend (and now roommate), “Sebastian’s coming over to help paint the living room today,” He smiles, “I thought I told you.”
Sam nods in realization, “Right, right, you showed me the colors the other day, I just forgot Sebastian was coming to help you.” Blaine frowns slightly at how Sam says Sebastian’s name. It is like he isn’t used to the sound of it, like it feels weird on his tongue.
“Uh, yeah, that’s okay, right?”
“Of course!” Sam insists, a strange kind of smile on his face, “I’ll just be in my room finishing unpacking everything.”
Blaine watches curiously as Sam goes to turn toward the hall before quickly whipping back around, “Unless you need help because I can totally help you guys. You know if he isn’t the best painter or,”
Blaine chuckles, “I’m pretty sure Sebastian’s a fine painter, don’t worry about us.”
Sam gives him a tight lipped smile, “Right, um, okay, I’ll just,” He gestures towards his room, before finally turning around and disappearing down the hall, leaving behind a very confused Blaine Anderson.
Riley knows immediately when he wakes up that he needs to go back to bed. This was only a matter of time, half of his class was in and out with a massively miserable head cold and despite the many times he cleaned and sanitized everything and washed his hands--he was sick within three weeks of the thing hitting his classroom.
His head spins as he calls his principal and tells him he won’t be in and that all his sub plans are on his desk. He’s got the sick hours so he’s not worried about taking off but he feels bad leaving the little nuggets with a sub teacher.
He groans softly and throws a blanket overtop of his head, trying to get his headache to stop pounding. His throat hurts, he’s congested and he’s pretty sure he has a fever.
He should get up and get some Advil and orange juice but he can barely think about moving, so he doesn’t, Pumpkin mewling and laying down against his chest.
Blaine stands in their kitchen for a few moments and stares at the coffee machine. He’s been nervous since he woke up, an unsettled stomach making him weak in the knees over this meeting that Sebastian and him are hosting with some government placements today.
It’s routine, whatever that means in this world that’s barely held together, before they’re able to adopt their child. They might even get some feedback about that today, how many days out until their baby is ready to bring home, what sex the child is, that sort of thing.
He closes his eyes a moment and lets out a long breath, rubbing the back of his neck. Regardless of how ready he feels to start the new chapter in his life with Sebastian, these government workers make him feel so uneasy. Between how he was manhandled into that cold room before Sebastian was able to join him again the day of their pregnancy plans and Sebastian ending up in that other sector from the plant dealings...
he’s on edge to say the least. Blaine looks up as Sebastian comes in from the garden and offers a small smile on his face. “How are the fish?”
Rachel was both nervous and intrigued by this massage oil candle Brody had left on her night stand. She had been reading the packaging over and over since Brody said he'd be down. Even if they would be giving each other simple massages, it was still a big step for her and she hoped that she's not only like it but be able to give him a good massage. Aside from rubbing someone's back, her experience in doing that was not exactly there. Then again she wasn't experienced in a lot things but she knew that things would eventually get easier for her, to be able to do things with Brody that not only he wanted to do but she did as well.
When she heard his foot steps she looked towards the door and smiled when he boyfriend came in and closed the door. "Where did you find this?" She asked holding up the candle as he came to sit on the bed with her.
General Notes: Ryder and Marley have a Batman film night.
Ryder:
Once Marley had texted him her address, Ryder picked up the car keys to his mom's beaten up car and walked outside. He felt the change in temperature immediately, rubbing his hands together before climbing into the car and making his way towards Marley's. The car was old and battered so the heating didn't really work which meant Ryder was freezing by the time he reached Marley's house. He climbed out, rubbing his hands together as he went to knock on the door.
Hannah slowly headed back to her dotm she shared withh Frankie. She walked to her room, unlocking the door before kicking off her shoes and sitting on her bed.
SUMMARY: Kurt finds out that Blaine betrayed his trust when he receives a letter from NYADA.
WARNINGS: We're as dumb as RIB. For real.
Kurt was tired by the time he’d gotten home, he just wanted to fall down on the couch and watch re-runs of some mindless television show, listening to Bella purr as she stretched out on his chest and bumped his chin with her head until he scratched her ears until they both fell asleep.
But he forgot about that as he pulled the mail from the mailbox, making a mental note to get Blaine a key for that, and the envelope on the top of the stack looked suspiciously familiar. Kurt ran his thumb over the logo in the left-hand corner.
NYADA.
But that was so long ago. What possible reason would they have to be sending Kurt a letter now?
Heart thundering rapidly in his chest, Kurt stared at the envelope the entire elevator ride up. He barely even noticed Bella as she threaded her way through his legs, mewing up at him plaintively, hoping for some attention or even better, something to eat.
Kurt pulled out a kitchen chair and sat down, holding the envelope between two hands, continuing to stare at it for another few minutes before sliding his thumb along the seam and pulling out the letter.
Words swam before his eyes, not making any sense. On your behalf. Decided to take another look. Live audition in 2 weeks.
He sat that way for what seemed like hours, but may have just been minutes, until the letter fluttered from his hands to the table, and Kurt got up, ignoring the burning throat and stinging eyes that meant tears were beginning to threaten.
Mindlessly, he threw some belongings into an overnight bag and drove to the restaurant, where he sat until it got dark, and then even longer, until Blaine had finished his shift and came out to the car.
Kurt turned his head when Blaine leaned over for a kiss, the brush of lips against his cheek making his heart constrict painfully in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to turn to Blaine, pull him into his arms, go back to the start, make everything okay.
But everything wasn’t okay. In fact, nothing was okay. Because Blaine had gone behind his back and sent in an application to NYADA. Which meant that he had disregarded Kurt’s personal wishes, and done it regardless. And that was an incredible breach of trust. One Kurt wasn’t ready to deal with.
The drive was silent, Kurt not able to find the words yet, and when he pulled up out front of Blaine’s old apartment, he felt something inside him break. The tears came now, spilling down his cheeks as he reached across Blaine and opened the glove box, pulling out the letter and dropping it in Blaine’s lap.
“Why?” The word came out as a sob, and Kurt had to turn and look out the window, because looking in Blaine’s eyes was too hard. “I told you I didn’t want to. I explained to you why I couldn’t. And you did it anyway. Blaine...how could you? This wasn’t for you to decide...”
*
Blaine could be oblivious sometimes but one thing he was good at by now was to figure out when something was wrong with Kurt. When he got into the car, his Kurt senses tingled like crazy but he also knew the fire in his boyfriend's eyes and that it might be best not to say anything until it was time for that. He bit his lower lip when he realized that only Kurt would decide when that moment was and he ducked a little on his seat when he couldn't really escape the tension in the car.
The silence was almost too much to handle and Blaine decided to fumble with his phone to make it at least look like there was a reason not to ask what was going on. When the car came to a halt and Blaine looked up he frowned as soon as he realized they were in front of his old place and he was about to ask what this meant when Kurt opened the glove box. The envelop he dropped into his lap didn't register because Kurt was crying, right in front of him and Blaine had no idea what this was about when he dropped his eyes and saw who the letter his boyfriend was obviously so upset about came from.
His hands started shaking as he opened the folded piece of paper as he glanced over the words there, his heart speeding up when he realized that Kurt was granted another audition. "They want to see you." Blaine's frown deepened as he looked up at Kurt, his own voice higher than usually because seeing the man he loved like this almost broke him. "Why are you… You shouldn't be angry… They… they want to see you. Kurt…"
His confusion slowly mixed with panic because this was a good thing, it was a great thing even but they were standing in front of the building that wasn't home and Blaine tried to piece the puzzle together. "Why are we here?" His eyes started to sting and he didn't dare to reach out for Kurt even when he wanted to touch him more than anything.
*
Kurt could hear the tremor in Blaine’s voice, the panic rising in it, he could even feel it because it mirrored his own.
It didn’t matter that NYADA wanted to see Kurt audition again, or that he was being given a second chance. In fact, that was almost worse. What if he choked on his audition? Worse yet - what if he gave another spectacular performance and was turned down again?
But what really mattered, was that Kurt had said, time and again, that he couldn’t, wouldn’t re-apply and Blaine had blatantly ignored that and took matters, potentially took Kurt’s own future into his own hands.
A sob bubbled in his throat, pushing past Kurt’s lips before he even gave it permission to. He hated his own traitorous tears. He should be mad - blood boiling, seething with rage mad. And part of him was. But in this moment, that part was buried beneath layers of hurt and betrayal.
Which brought Kurt back to Blaine’s last question. The reason why they were parked outside Blaine’s old apartment instead of heading home.
“I can’t...” Kurt began, then his words dissolved into yet another noisy sob, before he was able to gather himself together slightly, “This wasn’t your decision, Blaine. I...thought I made it clear....and you...I just...I can’t be with you right now.”
His heart was breaking, shattering into a million tiny pieces, and the one person that could put it back together again had been the one to break it. Whether it was intentional or not was irrelevant right now. It was too much too handle.
Kurt made a quick, jerky motion towards the back seat, still unable to look Blaine in the eyes, the tears spilling down his cheeks as he hiccuped quietly, “There’s...I’ve packed....there’s a bag in the back. You...you should just go. Go, Blaine.”
*
Blaine stared at Kurt, watched him sob and break apart and it was so incredibly hard to even understand what was going on. He had sent in the application just to see if there was a chance and apparently there was one.
Blaine had expected to talk about this a lot, he had expected doubts and an inner conflict but now Kurt sounded like he was breaking up with him and that couldn't be.
The frown on his face started to make his head hurt and he shook his head in disbelief. It was a state of shock because they loved each other. They loved each other and Kurt had packed a bag and was crying. But they couldn't break up. They loved each other.
Blaine looked over his shoulder because he had to see the bag to believe it and his mouth fell open when he still couldn't process the situation. The only part of his mind that was working was pure reason because some sort of instinct told him that everything else would hurt him too much right now.
"Julie." The word came out as a whisper but Blaine hang onto it as if it was the only thing that would be able to keep him alive. To keep them alive. "Julie's living there, I can't… You can't… Please…"
*
The longer Blaine sat in the car, the harder it was for Kurt. The more he listened to Blaine and heard the pleading tone in his voice, the more Kurt’s heart broke. Kurt couldn’t even bear to look into Blaine’s eyes, because he knew how devastating that would be, and how his resolve would crumble completely, and Kurt couldn’t have that. Not when Blaine had gone against Kurt’s wishes and done something like this.
Shaking his head, Kurt made a movement to reach across Blaine, to just open the door, but as Kurt brushed against him, he froze. How easy it would be to just fold into the comfort of those familiar arms, pretend that none of this had happened and go back to the way things were.
Sitting back up again, Kurt shook his head more firmly. He had to be strong about this. This was a betrayal and Kurt had every right to be angry. Hastily wiping his tear-streaked face, he resolutely looked out the window, his heart shattered and yet somehow still thundering surprisingly loud in his ears. He felt as though it shouldn’t. That it was too broken to continue beating. If that was a touch over-dramatic, Kurt couldn’t bring himself to care. That was just how he felt.
“I don’t care,” Kurt said, his voice quivering slightly. Because that was the first and only lie he’d ever told Blaine. And it was huge. He did care. He cared so fucking much that it hurt. Not only did he love this man sitting beside him, but he was throwing him out - back to his old apartment and worse, Julie was there and she would jump on Blaine’s sadness and try to use it to her advantage.
But there was no other option. If Blaine came home with Kurt, they would talk. And while the back of Kurt’s mind screamed at him that they should talk, because that’s how relationships worked, he wasn’t ready to talk. Not yet. Not with the hurt so raw and blinding.
Choking back another sob before they could fully wrack his body the way Kurt knew they were intending to (stupid, useless tears), he placed both hands on the steering wheel and gripped it until his knuckles turned white. “Ask her to leave. I don’t...I just...Blai-ne,” There was a pause as his voice caught on Blaine’s name, drawing out the syllable, “I...can’t. You can’t...you just...you have to go. Please.”
*
Blaine wasn't sure when exactly he knew that he had lost the connection to the most important person in his life. It was either when his boyfriend flinched back from brushing against him, or when he realized that the tone in Kurt's voice left no room for discussion. This was it. Blaine felt like he couldn't breathe and he gasped for air while he tried to swallow down tears, not even of sadness but of embarrassment and anger over himself. He had done this, it was his own fault. He reached behind Kurt's seat to pick up the duffle back, not even questioning that it held everything he needed. If it didn't then so be it. Blaine would get by because Kurt wouldn't be there so really, what else that could be missing from this back could mean anything to him? He slowly opened the door, his eyes taking in the dashboard and the mirror of the car, little details just to occupy his body while his mind was racing. There were so many things he had to say because Blaine had no idea how much time Kurt would need. He tried to first word in his mind before he swallowed hard and spoke them out loud. "I'm really sorry, Kurt." He finally dared to look at the other man and felt like someone was kicking against his chest as he did. "And I'll go. I'll go but please, please go to that audition." How he had the strength in him to smile, he didn't know but he put the letter he was still holding in his free hand back into the glove box. "They want you. And that audition I sent in? They'll listen, believe me. They'll see you. Please go." The car was silent and Blaine pressed his lips together, waiting for another moment while he hoped that Kurt would asked him to stay but nothing came. He finally nodded and stepped out of the car, looking up to his old apartment that had never really been his home the way Kurt's place was. Before he closed the door he leaned down, pushing his feelings aside so hard that the only thing that filled the space around his heart was a cold numbness that made him shake. "Please drive safe." He left his mouth open and then breathed out a barely audible 'I love you' before he closed the door and got into the apartment complex as fast as he could. He wasn't really able to stand the thought of Kurt watching him walk away. Inside he leaned against the cool walls of the building, his heart beating so hard against his chest that for a fleeting moment the hopes of getting a heart attack right here and there were real but nothing happened. Kurt had just thrown him out and the world was still standing and Blaine's body continued to breathe. He made his way up to his old door, unable to ring the bell for almost half an hour until he surrendered and pushed the little red button. He heard someone moving inside and closed his eyes as the door flew open. When he finally looked up again, Julie was staring at him and the numbness disappeared for a very short moment. The brief moment of pain was almost overwhelming and he could barely register the ramble the woman started when she saw him. She didn't receive an immediate answer what he was doing here and put two and to together when she saw the bag in his hands. "I knew he'd break your heart. Come in, sweetheart."Blaine just shook his head. "This isn't… It's not what happened." He couldn't get himself to explain the situation or really ask her to leave. Maybe Kurt would call within the next few hours. Maybe he would think it over. Blaine was shaking as he stepped through the door that closed behind him after a kick from Julie. Her hug felt wrong and out of place but her soothing words were everything he had and for once, Blaine decided to believe them. "Shhh, Blaine. Everything will be fine."
