Blaine lets out a groan as he slips into his apartment, letting the door slam behind him as he drops his messenger bag to the floor and toes out of his boots.
Since the opening of the show, life has been nothing but hectic with performances half the week and his school work picking up during his last semester. Blaine has always been an over-achiever, has (for the most part) been able to balance the aspects of his life like a scale, but lately he has been in a frenzy, buried in papers and performances, leaving little time for sleep and even less time to spend with his boyfriend.
With a sigh, Blaine staggers to the kitchen, grabbing a few Advil for the headache piercing behind his eyes and making up a mug of tea before moving back to the living room. He scoops up his bag and spreads his homework out on the coffee table as he settles down on the couch, thanking the universe it is Monday because there is no show tonight, and Sam should be working late. Sebastian is supposed to come over soon but he’ll have homework too, most likely.
Maybe Blaine will finally have some peace and quiet and be able to get caught up on some of this work before his head actually explodes.
It’s not often Blaine has time to visit his brother during a work week. He’s managed to switch his days with Sam and so he worked yesterday in space of today. So for his day off he decides he wants to take Rosie to visit her cousin and talk with Cooper. His brother’s been acting a little weird ever since he missed the baby shower and while he saw him at the BBQ, they never really had time to talk.
He’s always been close with Cooper even though they’ve had their moments so he knows that something is wrong. He just hopes he can help. He pulls into the driveway and smiles back at Rosie, unbuckling his seat-belt and collecting her from the car-seat.
“C’mon little bug.” He kisses her cheek, making her giggle. She’s always got her hands in his hair when he holds her. “You excited to see Becca?”
She nods softly and begins asking questions about absolutely everything because that’s what she does now, trying to discover the world around her. Blaine moves to the front door and knocks, shifting his daughter in his arms as Cooper’s wife answers the door.
And it’s clear she’s been crying.
“Layla? What’s wrong?” He asks, taking a step inside the house. “Where’s Cooper?”
Blaine sets Rosie down, watching her safely join Becca in the living room. Both girls are submerged in toys and playing--Becca seems alright, despite the fact that something’s happened with Cooper. He tears his eyes away from them to look at Layla.
“He was--he was arrested this morning.”
Blaine’s mouth falls open, “What?” He shakes his head, trying to figure out what could have possibly happened. “Why?”
Who: Rachel Berry
When: Friday, May 29, 2020
Where: Imperial Theatre, New York, NY
What: Rachel talks to Stephanie about the meaning of her tattoo.
It’s been a really good week for Rachel. She’d had a lovely lunch with Kurt on Wednesday, she’d gone to a yoga class with Brittany on Thursday morning (though things between Rachel and Santana are still a bit on the chilly side), and she’d generally tapped into a renewed passion for her role that’s been absent for several weeks. As much as she hates to admit it, the rollercoaster of emotional highs and lows that she’s been on with Quinn has had a sometimes negative effect on the energy of her performances.
Right now, that rollercoaster is on the peak of the highest hill and threatening to jump right off the track and into orbit.
Rachel has had a near permanent smile on her face since Monday. All she has to do is think about Quinn and the passionate night that they’d spent together fully consummating their relationship and she’s right back on cloud nine. It had been everything that Rachel had dreamed it would be—almost perfect in every way.
It’s the almost that has Rachel’s smile slipping as she changes out of her final costume on Friday night.
Here, under the bright lights of her dressing room, the tattoo beneath her ribs stands out against her tanned skin, and she catches her lower lip between her teeth as she gazes at the mirrored reflection of those familiar words. Scraping a fingernail over the script, she thinks about what they mean to her and what they seem to mean for Quinn, and she wonders again if Quinn will ever be able to look at the inscription without being eaten alive by her misguided guilt.
“Sheesh, Lima. You’ve got a great body and all, but copping a feel to your own reflection is a little vain even for you.”
Rachel jumps a bit at the unexpected interruption and scrambles for the button down shirt that she’d left draped over the back of her chair. “I suppose it’s pointless to expect you to start knocking at this late date,” she laments with a resigned sigh.
“Little bit,” Stephanie confirms with an airy laugh as she breezes the rest of the way into Rachel’s dressing room, pushing the door shut behind her before she plops down onto the futon and makes herself comfortable. She waves a hand at Rachel as she hastily tugs on her shirt. “Don’t rush to cover up on my account. I’ve seen it all before.”
Rachel rolls her eyes. “Well, I can hardly go out and sign autographs in nothing but my bra.”
Stephanie is already changed into jeans and a lacy, green blouse, though her makeup is mostly still in place for their standing stagedoor date with the fans. Rachel frowns slightly at the realization of just how much she’s been dallying on her own post show routine tonight.
“Why not? You’d certainly give them all a thrill,” Stephanie muses, winking. “Twitter would probably blow up with all the fan pics and all-cap pronouncements of ‘I saw Rachel Berry naked!’” she quotes, spreading her hands in the air like she’s posting a headline.
“Which is why I’m putting on my shirt,” Rachel explains with a chuckle as she begins to fasten the buttons. “I don’t even parade around half naked for my girlfriend,” she adds without thinking.
“Well, that’s no fun,” Stephanie comments, leaning forward in her seat with a thoughtful expression. “I thought there were a whole lot of naked activities happening on Monday. You’ve certainly been lighting up the stage with your afterglow.”
Rachel pauses over the last button, glancing up at her friend. A tiny smile tugs at her lips again at the memory of Monday, a fact that Stephanie can’t possibly miss. In fact, she hadn’t missed it on Tuesday when Rachel had floated into the theatre still high on postcoital bliss—so high that Stephanie had taken one look at her and instantly surmised that she and Quinn had finally had sex.
But then Rachel’s smile slips again. “We kept the lights off,” she admits quietly.
Stephanie gazes at her thoughtfully for a long moment. “The tattoo again?” she asks gently, already knowing about what had happened the first time Quinn had seen it and clearly deducing the reason that Rachel had been ogling herself in the mirror when she’d walked in.
Sighing, Rachel leans back against her vanity table with a short nod. “She hasn’t specifically said anything about it lately, but…I know it bothers her, so I tried to make sure it wouldn’t be an issue this time.”
Stephanie leans forward in her seat. “I guess I can understand that, but Rachel, she’s going to have to deal with it eventually. I mean, you can’t keep it hidden forever if you’re planning to stick with her for the long haul. Unless you’re planning to actually have it covered it up,” she considers with a frown, “or have it removed.”
Rachel’s fingers curl around the edge of the table and squeeze. “I…don’t want to,” she says, trailing off as she glances away from Stephanie’s probing eyes.
“But?” Stephanie challenges knowingly.
“I don’t know,” Rachel growls in frustration, sweeping a hand through her hair before her eyes come back to Stephanie. “When I first decided to have it done...it was meant to be a permanent, tangible reminder of Finn and the time we had together. I wasn’t thinking about how my future partners might feel about it, because at the time I wasn’t sure I could ever love anyone like that again, so it really didn’t matter how anyone felt but me,” she explains, pressing an open palm to her chest. And really, none of her small handful of lovers before Quinn had even known exactly what those words meant to her. It had been easy to just say the tattoo was in memory of someone important to her that had passed away.
“And then I realized those words are about more than just Finn,” Rachel continues, letting the hand over her heart slip down to her ribs where it presses against the now hidden tattoo through the fabric of her shirt. “They’re about me living every moment to the fullest because no one knows what might happen in the next. They’re about going after my dreams no matter what obstacles fall into my path, and keeping the people that I care about close to me and making sure they always know how I feel about them.” She shakes her head, huffing out a humorless laugh. “In a strange way, they’re even a little bit about Quinn. She was just one more person that I’d failed to hold on to…that I let slip away…and I never want to let that happen again.”
And now Rachel has the chance to make sure it never does.
“I don’t want to have it removed,” she declares more firmly, making the decision that she wasn’t fully conscious she’d even been considering.
Nodding in understanding, Stephanie leans back against the cushions of the futon. “Does Quinn know all of that?”
“She knows it’s more about me now than it is about Finn.” They’d talked a little about it once Quinn had calmed down some from her initial reaction, and Rachel had been able to explain that even though she’d gotten the tattoo in memory of Finn, it was more about the way Rachel wanted to live her life. “She said she understands, but I know that doesn’t stop her mind from associating it with Finn and her own guilt about everything that came after his death,” she reveals with a sad shrug. “She says she’s working through it, but if I can limit her exposure to it in the meantime, then I will.” Even if she does really want to make love to Quinn with all the lights on so she can see everything.
“Do you think she’s really working on all her issues?”
Rachel frowns at the question. “Of course I do,” she insists hotly. “Quinn is seeing her therapist regularly, and I trust her when she tells me she’s trying to get better.”
Stephanie chuckles a little, holding up her hands in supplication. “Woah, there Mama Berry. I’m not casting aspersions on Quinn’s honesty. I’m just wondering…if she’s telling you she’s working on it, why don’t you let her?”
Rachel’s brows furrow in confusion as she stares at Stephanie. “What do you mean?”
Stephanie moistens her lips. “Okay, don’t take this the wrong way,” and of course, Rachel’s hackles instantly rise at that because it’s usually a guarantee that she’s about to hear something mildly insulting, “but it sounds to me like maybe you’re trying to wrap Quinn up in a protective bubble and keep her from being faced with the things that might upset her instead of trusting her to actually try and deal with them like she wants to and, frankly, needs to.”
“That’s not true,” Rachel immediately argues, even though she knows it is the moment the words leave her mouth.
Stephanie’s eyes narrow suspiciously. “So she told you she wanted to keep the lights off when you got naked? It wasn’t your suggestion at all?”
Rachel feels her face grow hot, and she averts her eyes. “She didn’t tell me to keep them on,” she defends weakly.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought.”
“Don’t act so smug,” Rachel accuses with a mild scowl. “As far as I know, you haven’t miraculously obtained a psychology degree in the last few months.”
Stephanie laughs at that. “No. But I’ve seen enough therapists of my own to guess what they’ll say,” she confesses with a self-effacing grin. “Maybe you should make another appointment with yours.”
“I really don’t like you very much right now,” Rachel grumbles as she pushes away from her vanity—but she silently concedes that maybe she should discuss all of this in more detail with Doctor Hunter the next time she sees him.
“Yes, you do,” Stephanie counters, standing up from the futon. “You just don’t like me telling you things you’d rather not hear. Now, if you want Doctor Taylor’s advice…”
“I don’t,” Rachel interjects, though she’s ignored by Stephanie.
“The next time you want to get naked with your gorgeous cheerleader, which I’m guessing will be thirty seconds after you see her next,” Stephanie teases with a smirk, making Rachel blush, “just come out and ask her if she’s okay seeing the tattoo again,” she suggests more seriously. “She might surprise you.”
Rachel knows that Stephanie is probably right—she should just ask Quinn what she’d prefer before they get intimate again—but, “Surprises with Quinn tend to be a mixed bag.”
Stephanie hums in sympathy, wrapping a supportive arm around Rachel’s shoulders. “Just talk to her, Lima. Then maybe you can have a little fun with the naked parading.”
A bark of laughter bursts out of Rachel’s mouth. “I’ll only parade for Quinn.” And she’ll be happy to do it as long as Quinn is there in the moment with her and not lost to her own demons.
“Of course,” Stephanie agrees with a grin, giving Rachel a quick squeeze before letting go. “Now come on. We’ve got adoring fans to meet and greet.”
Rachel nods her agreement, offering Stephanie a grateful smile as they make their way out of her dressing room.
Things are going so well with Quinn right now, and Rachel wants to make sure they keep moving in the right direction. That means moving past her worry that her tattoo is going to trigger Quinn again. They really do need to have another conversation about it, but that’s not for tonight. Right now she’s going to bask in the accolades of her adoring fans for a little while, and then she’s going to call her girlfriend and invite her for breakfast tomorrow morning because she really can’t wait until Monday to see her again.
Location: Missoula, Montana - University of Montana
Time frame: December one year later (Rachel's Senior year)
Rachel:
It had been a roller coaster year for Rachel after she and Brody broke up. She turned 17 and then 18 and in between did her best to make the most of her life and not let the brutal break up get to her more than it already was. Brody had been her everything, her rock and once she realized he was really not coming back it hit her hard. It took a while to get back on her feet but once she did she refused to dwell on the love of her life anymore. Focusing on glee club she got them to Regionals her junior year before they lost and did her very best not to completely break down on the anniversary of her moms death. Overall she just had to do what she could to live her life like she knew her mom wanted her to and to take care of her sister. Beth had been angry and sad when Brody didn't come home but just like Rachel she continued to live her young life and the two go through missing their mom and him together.
Now a year later she's in her senior year and ready to graduate and do something with her life. Still dating Alex from her dance classes at the community college things are going well and though he isn't Brody and she can't bring herself to feel the same way she knows that she's working towards fixing her heartbreak and doing her best to be the best girlfriend possible. Alex pushes her and wants the absolute best for her which was why she found herself in Missoula, Montana looking at the University of Montana. Though the school isn't her ideal school, after the past year Rachel found herself having no idea what she truly wants out of her life and needing to figure it out before it's too late.
Stepping into a coffee shop after her tour she ordered a soy latte and sat at a table thinking about what she wanted to do, the school was actually great and their musical theatre concentration program though not UCLA's or NYADA's was still great but she still felt confused as she sat by the window taking in the rare somewhat city life Montana had to offer.
If I could dance to any songs in the world, it would probably be these. I have a whole list, but I don't wanna annoy you so I'll just do dream solo, duet, trio, and group
Solo: My dream solo would be to Perfect by P!NK. It would be the clean version of course, but it would give me the opportunity to use alot of facials, plus it's a good song. My costume would look like this:
Duet: My dream duet would probably be with Lucas to Stop and Stare by One Republic or Teardrops on My Guitar by Taylor Swift. They would both be pretty emotional, and i feel like we would do well with either Lyrical or Contemporary. I don't really know what the costumes would look like though.
Trio: My dream trio would be with Dena'h, mini Mia, and me to 100 Years by Five for Fighting. I feel like it would fit since I'm Dena'h's Mini Me and mini Mia is my mini me. We would all wear different variants of this costume:
Group: My dream group would be all of the good jazz dancers at Joffrey to Dj Got Us Falling In Love, because it's a good upbeat song and I think it would work well with all of us. I guess me and Autumn would be sorta featured, Autumn a little more than me since people think we're the two best at Jazz...
