clementine — 002.
the glanville's are an extremely progressive family. gunnar came out in the middle of high school, and his entire family was supportive. they loved him, dani especially loved him, he was an extension of her and they grew closer than ever despite the few years age gap between them. they shared the same hobbies and interests, girls night was every night for them. he was loved and accepted by all, but there was still something weighing him down.
as a child, gunnar was always a creative genius. no matter what medium was given to him, he was always able to make a masterpiece out of it. he particularly loved legos, his parents would buy him boxes that had no sort of direction, and somehow with the limited pieces, he'd been able to make something absolutely extraordinary just by something clicking in his brain. like any child, he was given a curfew, there was school to go the next day and he needed an ample amount of rest to be able get through the day. except he never listened, he needed to finish what he was focused on or else he'd simply be unable to complete simple tasks the next day. when something was on his mind, he had to go through with it before it drove him absolutely crazy, even if it took him hours upon hours. he manically built legos, painted and played video games like it was his job to do so and sometimes he'd go days without even getting a wink of sleep. it was almost years of this cycle going on before his mother decided to get him evaluated for maybe something deeper going on with him. he wasn't just acting like a kid.
at first the diagnosis was adhd, they'd immediately gotten him on medication, two pills per day hoping that it'd calm him down in some capacity, and like with any medication it worked, but then it plateau'd. the restlessness and need to perfect and finish a task seemingly subsided for a bit, but instead of complete mania, he'd spend more time in bed. there were elongated periods where gunnar would miss school because of this, some of his best mates would slip his school work through his window so he could complete it and not be behind. they'd never speak face to face, they'd just text to coordinate drop offs and pick ups. it was a sense of hopelessness he'd never felt before in his life, his parents didn't know what to do, and dani sure as hell couldn't find anything to bring him motivation. they were watching him wither away in bed for no particular reason, at least that's what he felt.
many, many more tests later, they came to the conclusion that, yes, gunnar had adhd, but it was also in conjunction with bipolar disorder. they'd drowned out the mania with ritalin, but then the depression came to fruition, like he'd masked it by keeping himself consistently occupied with multiple tasks. a few more medication trials later, and they'd found the perfect formula once he'd graduated from high school.
he had finally felt regulated, a little free, he was out and proud, his mental health was finally being controlled, but he has his days. he struggles immensely with fitting in, he's never been able to find his place. his sister can only help him so much, but she has his own life, her own friends, and he doesn't need to be in her space twenty - four seven. it was comfortable though, he liked the feeling of being comfortable and having structure, perhaps that's why he finds himself going back to a certain someone in his adult life. but not everything in life is going to be comfortable for him, he's going to have to face certain things head on and hide in bed for weeks on end.
he just wishes he could go back to a time where none of these things weighed on him. a time where he was just a boy and him and his sister could simply wake up late on saturdays, spend the day in their fort and watch cartoons.
