PULLED APART AT THE SEAMS
WHO: Cobie Rogers.
WHAT: Cobie comes to term with the fact her lobster might die.
WHERE: Coziley apartment.
WHEN: Thursday 28th July 2016.
WARNINGS: Sad.
The moment Ofelia had told her that she loved her in her last text to her was when Cobie truly knew that something bad was going to happen. It was rare that her best friend ever expressed how she felt to her these days, so when she read that text, she knew deep in her heart that Ofelia was going to do something bad that night. Of course, she could have never suspected that it’d be as awful as it turned out to be. The fact that she’d mentioned Kenzi would be there with her had eased Cobie’s worry slightly, and she’d never have thought in a million years that what happened would have happened.
To pinpoint the exact moment that Cobie fell in love with Ofelia would be impossible. There were so many things that could have made her fall for her. Perhaps it was the way in which she held her whenever she was sad, or maybe it was just the way she loved her in such a unique way, that could only be described as so very Ofelia. They’d always been there for each other ever since they first met. They always had each others backs. But now? Now there was nothing. She was the one person that Cobie wanted the most ever since Kenzi had broken the news to her, and it was killing her that she couldn’t have her. Instead of being one text away, she was laying in a hospital bed, tubes and wires coming out of her, her face free from the makeup that was usually so perfectly applied. Her body wasn’t wearing the finest fashion any longer; instead it was clothed with a hideous hospital grown that always reminded Cobie of sickness and death. Her best friend was probably going to die. There would be no more texts, calls, sleepovers, parking lot screaming. If Ofelia died, there would be nothing.
Upon hearing the news that her best friend had plunged a knife so deeply into her chest that living would be a miracle, Cobie had been falling apart more and more by the hour. How could she ever come to terms with the fact that the one person who had consistently been there for her for the past four years might be ripped away from her? Sure, they’d had their fights, but they always overcame them. There was nothing that could ever keep them apart for too long. But death? That was permanent. There was no way that their friendship could ever overcome that, no matter how much Cobie wished it could. Death was the end.
No amount of crying, sobbing, or broken screams could ease the pain that was in Cobie’s heart. No amount of smashing up hers and Kenzi’s bedroom could make the anger and confusion go away. No amount of throwing up could stop the churning of her stomach. Nothing could take away the intense, overwhelming sadness. Not Kenzi’s arms, not Scooby trying to lick away her tears, not Bailey J’s promise that Ofelia could possibly get through this and live. She’d never had to deal with losing someone so close to her before, and she had no idea how to make the pain go away. Sleeping didn’t work, and neither did trying to take her mind off things. All that she could think about was Ofelia laying in that hospital bed after being forced to take her own life. It wasn’t fair. Nothing about any of this was fair.
Kenzi had tried to make things better, she’d tried forcing Cobie to eat, tried forcing her to sleep. But she didn’t want to do any of it. She didn’t even want to speak. In fact, she couldn’t. Every time she opened her mouth to say something, she felt like if she spoke, she’d just break again. There was a thick, painful lump in her throat that just wouldn’t go away. Maybe if she could take her old pills, or smoke, everything would feel better. But she couldn’t. Instead, she had to stay clean for the babies inside her stomach. Babies Ofelia may never meet. It was the worst kind of torture; when all you wanted to do was escape and forget everything, but you were forced to continue living a nightmare that you couldn’t wake up from.
As Cobie lay there on the couch, with her head in her girlfriend’s lap, another sob that she didn’t know she’d been holding in shook her body. How was she ever going to survive without Ofelia? She’d saved her all those years ago when she’d been so suicidal that she wouldn’t allow her to go to the bathroom alone, and now she couldn’t save her in return. She should have fought harder to see her, even though she’d told her she was going to be with Aaron, and then with Kenzi. She knew in her heart something bad was going to happen, so why hadn’t she tried to stop it? Why did she just go to sleep and try and forget her worry? She could have stopped this, if only she hadn’t been so stupid to think that whatever Ofelia was doing couldn’t possibly result in this.
With a painful cry, Cobie turned herself onto her side, pressing her face against Kenzi’s stomach in an attempt to hide away from the world. Her grip on her girlfriend’s shirt tightened as she silently cried, and thought of all the times Ofelia had stopped her doing something stupid. Life was cruel. The letter psycho was cruel, and Cobie knew that if she ever found out who was behind all of this, she’d kill them. They were sick, twisted, and deserved to die, unlike her best friend. Ofelia deserved nothing but the best, and now she’d sacrificed herself for everyone else, just because this sick fuck had told her to. Cobie knew that she’d rather have gone down for a murder she didn’t commit than have her closest friend dead, and she was sure the rest of the gang would have felt the same. If only Ofelia would have known that before being brave enough to to reenact her biggest regret.
Everything was dark in Cobie’s mind. There was no light, happiness, or easy feeling she normally felt. Everything was just black. It was terrifying. She hadn’t felt such an eerie feeling of emptiness and brokenness since all those years ago when Ofelia had first met her and changed her life for the better. Clenching her fists in anger at the ridiculous unfairness of everything, Cobie winced at the pain she felt from the fresh cuts caused by smashing everything that was breakable and within reaching distance that morning. She was thankful for the brief moment that her pain was concentrated into just one part of her body instead of the whole of it, though. It was a sweet escape.
Even though everything was a mess, and Cobie wasn’t sure how she’d ever get through this, one thing was for certain: even if she was no longer in love with her best friend, there would always be a part of her heart that would belong to her. If Ofelia died, it’d die with her. They were lobsters, and even if her physical presence left the Earth, Cobie knew that one day they’d be reunited in the afterlife, and that only then would the part of her heart that she’d lost return to her.