#paranoia t

[twowivestwoknives]

I made a list of all things that cause intense and sometimes debilitating paranoia, actions/compulsive based??? Actions i do to cope and feelings n stuff so: Im terrified of not being in control of a tragedy that directly affects me, i sometimes feel im being persecuted by death its self, the number 9 is good? For some reason (3 and 11 also A+), wood is important, and packing bags full of important things to take with me also important. I dont really know whats going on (i have paranoia confirmed, not ocd according to my ex therapist and the 'compulsions' i could concievably not do and dont have to do every time) but the paranoia is weird and comes in waves idk tonights been scary folks!

[twowivestwoknives]

@guabao big stick will love me but will big stick protect me from the rotting reaper on the heels of my shadow?

[twowivestwoknives]

okay for some reason dead bodies (images of) are really...fucking with my paranoia for some reason

its like death just became real. its scaring the shit outta me. been like this since yesterday. it feels like its coming for me and it aint gonna be nice about it

pls tag for that shit. imma add it to my blacklist

[twowivestwoknives]

Things that seem to trigger paranoia in me according to what my therapist describes as paranoia:

walking past cares/people in the dark because I think they’re going to shoot me

walking past ppl with their hands in their pockets bc i think they have knives

walking past loud cars with their windows open bc i think im gonna get shot/have already been shot and am a ghost

mentions of shadow people that make me think im being followed/im dead

strangers talking out of earshot of me because theyre probably talking about me

[twowivestwoknives]

Seriously I need some love tonight

I’ve been paranoid all night and feeling like everyone who says they love me is lying to me and hates me and has already replaced me and is ignoreing me

and then i come home and find out a close family freind just fuckin died out of the blue. She wasnt even 55. 

im seriously fucked up

[justhypersexualthings]

annoying ur friends by talking about sex. creeping them out by talking about sex. oversharing while talking about sex. ur friends leaving u becaus u talk too much about sex~

[yikesqueer]

I feel like shit it's great I love being reminded not to trust anyone or ever open up about anythjng

[twowivestwoknives]

so new addition to my lil paranoia crew: i cant reblog/talk about/write about death on my or anyone I love’s birthdays in any place they can see it or else death will Take them to Spite me. hmm. good aesthetic.