“My heart beats so damn quick when you say my
name….When I’m holding you tight, I’m so alive Now let’s live it up”
"We outta room lady, you just gon’ have to find somewhere else to lay up." The gust of wind mushed me in my face, as the Assistant to the homeless shelter rejected my plee for help.
Twenty-four years old, with half a college education and you would think I would have my own place, my own home, And I wouldn’t have my new born destitute in this snowy New York weather.
But not only did I not have live, I was blessed recently to be a mother. I will not call my beautiful daughter a mistake, the way she was made and the environment she is exposed to a mistake on my part, that I regret daily.
"We’ll be okay Camille, I promise mommy will get us outta this.." Rocking my bundle of joy in my arms, I watched the cars past by. In the city, if you don’t move quick, you’ll be nothing more than a faded, and burred memory, And I am a true produce of this saying.
I knew there was going to be more downfall of snow, so I thought it would be a smart Idea for me to get a place for Camille, and I to stay but of course they were full; Ignoring the disappointment that rang heavy in my heart, I made the journey to the place where I and Camille usually stayed.
"Hello Miss.Sorriyah.." Mr. Bell waved me over, I jogged quickly, holding on tight to the sleeping baby.
"Hey Mr. B" I made an attempt at a friendly smile. "What’s up?"
"I got something for you.." Leaning inside the corner store he owns, he came back with a brown bag. "It’s just something…Bus pass, food, diapers, feminine things for you Mrs. Brown made me add..Things you’re going to need, I heard it’s gonna be a big storm.
The expression on my face didn’t explain thankful I truly I was, Now I didn’t have to as worry much. I had under four dollars to my name, And I was questioning how, Camille or I was even going to eat.
"T-Thank you so much.." My words slurred as I bent over to hug him; he, himself didn’t know how much weight he took of my shoulders, the world that I was carrying felt lessened.
"It’s okay..It’s okay babygirl.." He patted my back lightly, As I pulled away. "Just get you, and that baby into a nice, warm place..We don’t need both of you getting sick.."
I nodded, faintly smiling; he walked about into the shop; Back at “find a nicer place to sleep, then outside” mission, and it was a bust to be honest with you.
Camillie’s eyes shot open with awakening, her chubby cheeks grew red with every passing moment because of the cold, ice that began to fall lightly.
"Ssh…We’re almost there baby girl..Just hush for mommy.." I ran my thumb across her cheek, trying to sooth her crying.
The stoop behind the Chinese restaurant is what we, for the time being are calling home. The porch like space had a heating vent on the side, and the screen that covered the top, kept us in a way protected from the ‘outside’.
"Mak sore u got out by 10:30!" Throwing the trash in the dumpster, the manger of the Chinese buffet grilled me.. "You mak my place look trashy!"
Ignored her last comment, thanking her for allowing to stay here.
Camille in one hand. my other was busy taking out the blankets we used regularly. Fixing Cam’s baby ski mask, I laid her gently down on the layered blankets; Her small hands wailed in the air as she giggled some.
"Warm huh baby?" I made a silly face at her, for a few minutes, we sat there just enjoying the sight of snow falling.
"Hey..Riyah…" The Manger’s and owners son poked his head out the door. "I heard my mom trippin’ as always." Kai mumbled lowly, shaking his head. His Asian accent took back burner once his new york accent took control. "But I got you some good good—" Leaving, then coming back; in his left hand he held a meal bowl that contained Sweet and sour chicken, with fried rice and in the other, he had warm milk, and water.
"I figured you and Camille were hungry, and the water is for later…it probaly will stay hot for the rest of tonight, and maybe part of the morning."
Two good deeds from others in ONE day, Feelings a little..Blessed, if you will.
"I gotta go! stay warm, Bye Cam!" with speed, Camille, and I were once left again, this time with food, and a sort of warm place to lay our heads at.
Quickly jumping up, I made it my personal vendetta not to wake Camille. Taking the small digital clock that was hidden deep in my personal bag, I stared at the small numbers on it; the numbers began to fade because of the lack of power the batteries had.
Knowing both Manger, and owner they would be out here any minute, badgering me about leaving.
Throwing myself into my trash bag, I quickly got redressed in the frightening cold, switching Cam’s booties to rain boots, we were ready to go.
"Excuse me miss?" Turning around, My eyes gazed up quickly, my mouth went dry. He looked at me, for him to be this smiley this early in the morning, he must’ve been used to it. "You dropped this."
he handing me Camille’s juice bottle, and I nodded a simple thank you; turning my back to him, I tried to ignore the feeling on him staring at me.
"Hmh." He coughed, trying to grab my attention; annoying, I turned around, hands on hips. "I don’t mean to disturb you, but do you live..here?"
"I don’t live anywhere, I am homeless." I knew he had to be startled because of how blunt I was being. It was too early for this type of conversation, and I just don’t want to talk to him, I didn’t want more than him passing me back a bottle that fell.
"Well..where are you going?" The papers that once filled his hands, were tucked under his arms, and surprisingly, he had began to help me pick up the clothes, bottle, and food sprawled everywhere.
"homeless shelter." I replied dryly, not trying to pick his presence; my cracked up, and tried voice began normal once again.
"Mind if I walked you?" Looking him up and down, I eyed his scrubs.