I went on my date. It went fine. He was nice. But there wasn’t anything there. I mean objectively I knew that going in that there wasn’t going to be anything there because I am asexual. But I kind of wanted something to happen because when I told my mom that I was going on a date, she was so excited for me. I think that she maybe thought that I was going to be cured. That I would find this boy sexually attractive and she wouldn’t have to worry about her asexual daughter who she screwed up (she never actually said those words when I came out to her but I could definitely tell from her tone and words thats what she thought). My mom is convinced that I just need to meet the right man and boom I won’t be ace anymore. This isn’t even bringing into play that I’m biromantic which she definitely wouldn’t approve of. Overall, I want to make my mom happy, but I don’t want to do it at the price of my own happiness and sanity.
I have no idea what I’m doing with myself and I don’t know how to make my mom happy. I feel like there is no good option for me.