#parents featured

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I’m back home from college and now my parents are trying to set me up on dates with everyone around my age in town. I’m so sorry they cornered you in the pasta section at night in the store. It’s just how they operate now.

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Fake Dating/Married Au List

My siblings already had kids and they’re already out of the ‘baby stage’ so they keep asking me when I’m going to have one and I don’t really want one but you’re my friend who really wants a baby but needs to be married in order for the adoption papers to be seriously considered. Let’s get together to satisfy both our needs. Who knows, it might not even be that bad.

If I’m married I can bulk out my Fafsa form and you need it bulked out too if you don’t want to take out crazy amounts of loans. So we can get married and once we get our degrees we can get divorced like friends.

Just date me for the Valentines Day discount. 

I need someone to take with me to my parent’s Thankgiving/New Years/Full Moon celebration because otherwise I’m stuck doing the kids crafts/at the kids table/being asked when I’m going to date. 

I brought you as my friend but my parents read our closeness as dating and only gave us one bed to share.

I had a bad week and I can’t decide what kind of cake I want so I want to do the wedding cake samples at the cake store but I need to do it with someone. Quick- Do you like cake and can you hold my hand?

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My parents want to meet you but you’re not exactly ‘human’ so we have to try to convince a look-alike we spotted in town to play along a few days a year.

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We’ve been married for a while and my parents started complaining about not having grandchildren from us, so we decided to pretend [to be pregnant/to adopt/etc] and they haven’t seen the ‘kid’ yet. But we’re driving over there and the first thing they do is ask where their grandchild is, and we pull out a puppy from the back of the vehicle. They’re deeply annoyed.