Confessions of an Ex-Exile: Archduke Dantalion Spills It All
The curtain raises on a prime time television interview set with Archduke Dantalion sitting lounging on a plush interview chair. His arms are slung back as he leans and one leg is cross over his knee. He looks far from prim or professional in what can best be described as a really expensive formal disco suit. The shirt was half open and a large lightning bolt hung from a gold chain and rested on his on his bare feathers. It seemed to spark and glimmer occasionally.
The host at the desk to his side began. "Welcome everyone to 666 News, I'm Katie Killjoy and next to me is our wonderful guest ready to tell it all about the Ars Goetia's deepest secrets. Now, I know we haven't started yet, but he's been telling your truly backstage all about how he got here. Is it true you were imprisoned by your brother, Duke Gusion, for a whole generation?"
Dantalion smirked and flashed a playful wave at the crowd before he was asked the question. "All true." He says confidently, "Now I want to say it felt like... thirty years? But time works differently for us fancy immortal demons. It was a generation for me, but I'm still picking up the pace of everything and may I say I am so impressed that the station gave me the grand tour. VTek's down with what's current from what I saw so where better to give Hell the real lowdown, am I right folks!?"
The crowd cheers. Whether it was genuine or by a flashing prompt wasn't really the point. He continues, "Yep Duke Gusion. My brother. Stole my library idea too. Let me tell you first things, Katie, old Gus is too much of a space cadet to come up with that himself. He needs his fancy future-predicting book to tell him what to do. He doesn't even eat breakfast without it. No wonder his kids are insane."
"Insane you say? Like, unreasonable and spoiled or totally coo-coo?"
"Oh Athena is out of her mind." Dantalion responds. "She tried reading her old man's book the wrong way and it scrambled her brain. He's been trying to get rid of her without looking desperate ever since. Too bad half the single men in the Ars Goetia don't seem to be into girls."
"Oh really? You're hearing it here first folks, the royal balls are a regular sausage fest. Got any names, Dante? Can I call you Dante?"
"Sure thing. I'm no square like the rest of 'em. But names? Hooo boy there's too many to list. You already saw Stolas. That one's out of the bag. But let me just give you the cheat sheet. Pay attention to how many committed bachelors are spending a lot of time together."
"Well wait no longer, folks, because our crack investigative reporters have found some exclusive details to corroborate Dante's story. Have a look at THIS!" A photo of Prince Vassago and Marquis Andrealphus nearly hiding in a hallway and speaking quite close to each other was shown on a large screen. Gasps and catcalls from the audience erupted.
Dantalion leaned over to look up at the screen with a bemused look on his face. "Where'd you take this one, Katie? Ha, those crazy kids. I should have known!" Was it an act or was he genuinely surprised? It seemed up to the audience to decide. "Now speaking of Stolas again, I've got some fun details about that one too. There's a lot of details that didn't wind up making it to trail, you see."
"Oh we always suspected this was a cover up of something and not just the gross little bird holes of those two who were at that trial, weren't they?"
"We all saw the footage, Katie. What I want to show you is that imp who testified. See... that Blasto guy that Stolas was apparently going around with didn't hire the assassin. It was his wife." He let the crowd react again before continuing.
"It was an open secret they hated each other but Stella loved playing the wronged victim. BUT!" Dantalion raised a finger into the air, "Show off the next photo, would you?" The screen flickered to Stella particularly close with one of her party friends. "That is a low ranking schmuck named Julian and she's been fooling around with him for a long time."
"Affairs on top of affairs!" Katie remarked with a sneer. "Is that little daughter of theirs even his? Oh my goodness! How horrible for their little bloodlines, if true. Trust us."
"Yeah, someone should get on that." Dante responds before flipping back to another picture. "But enough about that. let's talk about Earl Raum!" The old crow was next up on display. "Not only did one of his daughters run away to live in the woods to live with a bunch of foxes, but he sabotaged the queen's baking to make himself look good once. Paimon's sister I think."
"Petty drama, illegitimate children and potential bestiality?" Katie responds. "How deep does the depravity go? And how long have you known about it?"
"Oh this has pretty much all been because of all those arranged marriages and no one knowing how to raise their damn kids." Dantalion responds, "I said it was a bad idea then and well we see where that went. And we're not even close to done. Pretty much all of them failed and it's always the daughters. Ready to go down the list?"
"Oh am I ever. Let's hear about some fucked up sexist parenting!"
"Let's go a bit of a...." He shoots fingerguns Katie's way as they spark. "Lighting round." The crowd laughs. Photos of the poor girls, most in their late teens or early adulthood were being flashed on screen as he went.
"Octavia, Stolas's kid. Once stole her old man's book and got lost in the middle of LA."
"Text 'Does Stolas Fuck' to #666News and place your bets on if you think he's the real father!"
"Theadora, Purson's youngest. Never got over her dead fiance and opened a coffee shop that's one part front for her old man's information network and one part refusal to move on; the coffee's not bad at least."
"If you don't mind spy flavor!"
"Elizabeth, granddaughter of King Baal. Looks way too much like her twin brother and I'm pretty sure they've been swapping places."
"If I looked like that, I'd pretend to be someone else, too."
"Coronis, Forenas's granddaughter, expect not really. Totally illegitimate and the folks covered it up."
"Until NOW!"
"And last but certainly not least... My brother's got a little secret of his own about how he messed up his kids." Dantalion then stands up. "And... I have an announcement! See, sometime after I was sealed away, it seems Gusion had another child. One he didn't want anyone to know about with someone in King Baal's family. It was so hush hush he forced Baal to sign a contract to never speak of it again. They're both forced to be cagey about it, but yours truly is the man on the case! You see, there was someone unidentified moved from Baal's properties to Gusion's with the kind of carriage you would use to transport a young lady with way back when. I still can't find out who or exactly when the kid was born but Gusion never in all our existence ever took in a woman for another reason. We know a kid was born because of a few little private intel sweeps of mine from old servants says so."
Dantalion stood firm on the stage and looked over the crowd and right at the camera. "We don't have a name, but they'd be around the age of all the other messed up hatchlings we have. I figure, if Gusion won't acknowledge who they are, then their dear old uncle Dante will. What I want out of YOU all is to find them!" The rings on his fingers, the necklace around him and several other gold adornments floated in front of him. From the back, Katie was rushing camera crews to get this shot just right.
"All of this and to boot, one privileged unrestricted day at Bibliotheca to the first person who brings this kid to my estate alive and in one piece! This is just a small handful of what I've got and the foribidden library of the Ars Goetia will teach you anything. I can make you wealthier and more powerful than anything you've ever imagined! Want to rival an overlord? A demon Prince!? To show I ain't jive talking you- I swear right here, right now, on my name as Archduke Dantalion of the Ars Goetia that I will make that happen if you succeed! I just showed you what the rest of the Ars Goetia are really hiding and that's just the stuff they won't kill me for showing! You can't trust them, but you can trust the news in front of you and you can trust ME. I haven't been settled into an entire generation of rot and hedonism! I'm from the days of true, real groovy Hell and when a demon makes a real promise, they are bound to keep it. I've already given you lot more than any other noble has."
"All you have to do, is find one lost bird. So get out there and do Hell's new best friend a solid."
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I want to thank everyone who submitted the gossip for the program and put their muses on the chopping block of Dantalion's public bashing. Find them below!
"Back on the trail I see, your grace! Spurred about on some fiasco, what have you, my most fiery lord?" (Vassago)
"You have heard about the trial last year, no? I suspect that not everything is as it seems, and that a greater danger lurks in the shadows. I am working toward uncovering the truth as we speak."
"A thousand greetings, and a thousand more my most mighty lord!" He would give a bow toward his superior, closing the distance between the two of them with a rather large bottle of rum in his hand.
" I shall fancy myself the most joyful of men to hear of your most recent ascent! A most due reward for your many years of service!" He'd raise the bottle.
" To the Lord Protector of Princess Octavia! Might I ever serve you to the best of my ability! "
"Oh I know Lord Julian! I don't think the privilege could of gone to a better man! I truly do give everything to the family, it was finally a matter of time I got rewarded."
Andrealphus let out a chortle clearly enjoying the praise.
Welcoming the enthusiastic royal to their not so humble abode marked with ice. A servant lightened Julians hand by taking the drink, to open and pour on a prepared ice glasses that another had bought by on a silver platter to celebrate in their merriment. The marquis took one.
"Your services is appreciated my good man, currently we're adjusting to the sudden changes but I do believe we're on our way to help the future princess fill her shoes."
do i ship our characters together?: yes | no | not yet but maybe soon
would i like to ship with you?: yes | maybe, i'm willing to try | no
type of relationship i could see: childhood or high school sweethearts | exes | engaged | married | long-term relationship | crushes | unrequited love | fling | long distance | online relationship | just dating | new relationship | toxic lovers | friends with benefits
tropes i'd enjoy writing for them: friends to lovers | enemies to lovers | exes to lovers | fake relationship / dating | forbidden love | grumpy and sunshine | star-crossed lovers | surprise pregnancy | second chance | soulmates | amnesia / mistaken identity | forced proximity | secret relationship | slow burn relationship
would i rather plot first or jump right in and see where it goes?: develop their relationship first | jump right in | something in between
what now?: let's plot something | send me shippy memes | i'll send you shippy memes | write me a random starter | i'll write you a random starter
"I should think it a most divine opportunity for your portrait to be done, my dear vibrant passion.~"
"I do believe that you're right, my darling Julian~ The last few I've had done unfortunately included my ex-husband." Her beak curled into a disgusted scowl, before returning to a more pleasant smile. "It's about time I had a portrait done solely for myself and my abundant radiance~"
No refusal very well. He simply spoke clearly to her, his voice resting on certain words to let them hang in the air for a moment.
" How might the pilgrim begin to describe great canyons and monuments at the rising and setting of stars? How might a mother describe the babe suckling at her breasts? Indescribable indeed are these, but to me falls the greatest challenge of all still. I stand now before the indescribable that is you. You. To use such a simple word for Stella, repulsive. Indeed, repulsive will all attempts be to compliment you for you are beyond words. Alas, that I be mere man who's power over the primordial are unrealized I pray my attempt will suffice and you can forgive this vain attempt.
You were born beautiful, young dove, from your hatching you emerged with pride and power no doubt. How your smile would make me blush in our youth, even more so your fury when set upon those who'd not earned your favor. You finger ringing the necks of the unworthy, pinks bows in your feathers.
But nothing could compare to the living, breathing work of art you have grown into. Your gaze is the manifestation of a thousand poems times a thousand grand artists. If that ancient power called music were to be given form it would mirror you. Crowned in argent light, your plumed grace outshines the speaker in Heaven, your fury burning hotter than the mightiest flames of Satan.
How I wish to trace each and every feather upon you, and every inch of flesh beneath. I would treasure every touch. I would paint your bare and glowing shape in a portrait to redefine what it means to beget art, and make love to you for the remainder of the night as only two old friends might. A million parties, a billion tea times, it could never be enough to fill the ache in my heart for your company, my only ambition in this world shall ever be to share a space with you, that I might taste, smell, hear, and feel god hood. You excite, bewilder, and delight me as bears love the melting snow and the freshly spilled blood of a helpless elk. You empower in equal measure, when your gaze is upon me I think I might just be capable of routing even the greatest of armies."
....Oh.
Stella always held great affection for one of her friends, but she never thought he would reciprocate the deeper feelings she held towards him all these. He truly had the heart of a poet, and that simply one of many things she adored about him. How long she yearned to hear him spin such sweet words solely for her ears.
She cursed her fate since the day of her betrothal to Stolas was announced to her. Why couldn't it have been Julian instead? At least it would have been someone she already knew and was comfortable with. And most importantly, was already attracted to. Often times, she couldn't help but lament about the what-ifs of Julian being Octavia's father instead. How much happier they could have been.
"...I admit I find myself at a loss for words....At least any that could even come close to comparing to the passion of your declaration. It is not a strength of mine..."
She was no longer married and nothing was holding her back now.
"...But I will confess that it very much reciprocated, my friend. For long time it has been..."
"Ah hello little one! Is your mother about by chance? I have a great deal of gossip to cast her way!"
"...little one?" it took octavia a moment to realize that he meant her and not some kid. but whatever. with a sigh she pointed towards one hallway, stella's peculiar laugh already echoing down from its end.
"just follow the noise, I guess" wait. did mom decide to have a party today? ...oh she absolutely had to find a way to escape the house.
