duo pats the floor next to him several times as he looks at heero, indicating that he wants heero to sit next to him. it is the least he can do, considering duo is about to reveal something he does not want to. heero ignores the fact that he is naked; duo is naked too.
heero sits; leaving a couple of feet between them and turns toward duo in anticipation of his explanation.
‘i fractured it.’
‘your dick?’
“… yeah.’
‘ouch.’
duo lets out a small huff of laughter. ‘yeah, big time. great drugs though.’
despite wanting to know more, heero is not going to ask. he imagines that duo is embarrassed enough as it is. it is easier to understand now why duo had not contacted him for help that night. not wanting to ask him for financial help was likely only the secondary reason. he still wishes duo would have come to him…
‘even worse were the six weeks after when i couldn’t… you know.’ duo tells him.
*get an erection?*
*have sex?*
likely both, heero thinks. again, he is not going to pry.
‘obviously everything is working fine now.’ heero says with a smile.
‘the problem after the first two weeks was getting it to *stop* working!’ duo says through laughter. ‘the truck was a great distraction.’
*oh!*
heero knew there was more to duo’s sudden all-consuming interest in fixing the truck, granted he hadn’t thought *this* was the reason. other things were starting to make sense as well.
‘so, that night you wanted to go out…’
‘yeah. that ended up working out okay.’
it had, heero supposes, but not because of anything he had done; quite the opposite, in fact. heero does not know if knowing any of this would have changed what happened. he does still feel bad about duo leaving – even if he did come back.
‘why did you come back?’ *without finding someone there to ‘celebrate’ with?*
duo stares at him for a second before he says, ‘asking all the tough questions tonight, huh?’
he isn’t exactly squirming, but he shifts a little and looks uncomfortable. heero isn’t going to press the issue.
‘i’m glad you did,’ he tells duo, letting him off the hook. ‘i didn’t mean to upset you,’ he adds, not looking directly at duo as he admits it.
duo is quiet for a moment and heero thinks the conversation is over – which is fine. he feels as though they have cleared the air a little on the events of that night, in addition to learning about what happened the night duo disappeared. not all of the details, but more than enough. he is satisfied.
‘honestly? i was plenty pissed at first but then i figured there are worse things than knowing you were just going along with it ‘cause you didn’t want me to get hurt.’ duo shrugs then.
‘so you came back,’ heero fills in.
‘yeah. it uhm, it didn’t take long to realize i wasn’t gonna find anyone there that i wanted to do it with more than you.’
duo’s head is turned away from him and his face is partially in shadow, but heero thinks he is blushing. heero thinks he might be blushing too. he is already aware that duo finds him attractive – he has had plenty of time to get used to it – even if he still doesn’t understand why. he had acknowledged that duo was attractive months ago, but with everything that has happened between them in the past two weeks, heero is no longer in denial about his attraction to duo. the physical aspect is one thing, yes, but it is more than that and whatever it is did not begin when their physical involvement started. heero does not know when it began. he does not know how to explain it - or if he even needs to. should he be admitting to duo that he is flattered?
‘hey,’ duo says, touching his hand. he is looking at heero now and heero looks down to the floor between them, where duo’s hand rests on top of his and then back at duo. ‘we good?’
heero knows that that duo is probably misinterpreting his silence.
‘we’re good,’ heero tells him, turning his hand palm up and intertwining his fingers with duo’s.
duo smiles and then reaches over, touching the right side of heero’s face just below his eye and sliding the side of his thumb up and down the length of the scar there. he ignores the part that is hidden up under heero’s bangs – or maybe he has just never seen the entirety of it.
heero is pretty sure he knows what duo is asking but he waits.
‘you’ve had this a long time’, duo says and heero nods. *nearly half my life*
‘you want to tell me about it?’
he doesn’t. not right now. maybe never.
duo takes his silence for dissent and removes his hand from heero’s face, ‘maybe some other time.’
he feels bad for not sharing the story with duo after the discussion they’d just had but he is not going to make excuses. ‘i’m sorry,’ he says softly, closing his eyes when he feels duo squeezing their still joined hands.
Work of Art [J.JH] - eighty-seven | taeyong said the same thing
“Hey, have you talked to Johnny lately?”
Anna looked up as you walked into the common room. “Long time no see.”
You waved and sat down at the table, across from her.
“I’ve talked to him a little bit. Why?”
You shook your head. “I don’t know.”
She closed the book she had been reading and waited.
“It’s like… I don’t think Luna likes me, but she texted me about going to the club to watch Johnny DJ on Saturday. I asked how she got my number and she said Johnny gave it to her, and when I told her he’d survive my not being there, she said that if I showed up, Jaehyun would go.”
Anna looked at you, suspicious.
“Yeah, that’s how I looked at my phone,” you laughed.
“That… almost sounds like she wants to see Jaehyun.”
“Yeah. So I told Taeyong and Eunji in our chat for hair dying, and Taeyong said that Jaehyun had just walked into the room and told him she texted him about going.”
Anna continued to look at you with the same suspicious look.
“Yeah.”
“You know, uh…” she scratched at her eyebrow as she thought for a few moments. “That really sounds like she wants to see Jaehyun.”
You nodded.
“And she invited Jaehyun to the mall that time.”
You nodded again. “Taeyong said the same thing.”
She nodded.
“And I didn’t tell you this, but the day Jaehyun and I went to the cherry blossom thing--”
“Don’t tell me she showed up.”
“--oh my god no. Jesus Christ.” You laughed. “I would have been super suspicious of her if she had. But Jaehyun got me a little phone charm that I put on my pencil case, and I saw her in the hall outside the dance studio one day and I showed it to her, and she seemed like… legit angry about it?”
Anna frowned.
You frowned back. “Yeah.”
“Why’d you show it to her?”
“I wanted to see her reaction, since she was acting so weird.”
Anna looked at you like she didn’t believe you..
“What?”
She smiled and shook her head and sighed. “I don’t want to like… not trust her because she’s not one of the people we met in the first week or because she’s Johnny’s girlfriend or anything, but she is starting to seem a little... snakeish.”
“Right? I was wondering about her this whole time but I didn’t really want to say it out loud to the whole group because I didn’t know if everyone noticed, and I didn’t want anyone to think I was catty or anything. And like... she’s not saying things upfront, you know?”
She nodded. “No, no, I get that.”
“Orwell would’ve had a field day with her.”
She laughed quietly.
“What do I do?”
“I’m not sure.” She folded her arms and though for a minute. “Telling Johnny his girlfriend might be a snake isn’t going to go over well.”
You nodded. You already knew that.
“And we don’t have any hard evidence.”
You nodded again. You knew that too. “I mean, I have the text about ‘if you show up, Jaehyun will show up,’ but that isn’t a lot.”
Anna nodded. “I think… This is just a waiting game. We have to wait for her to fuck up and we can’t do anything until she does.”
You sighed and rubbed your eyes. “Ugh… I hate waiting for shit. I just want her to go away if she’s going to make our lives stressful.”
“I feel you. It is weird that she’s targeting you though. But…”
“Ooh-- if you’re going to say what I think you are-- do not.”
Anna shrugged. “You’re the one with the phone charm, not me.”
You looked at her blankly.
She shrugged again.
You sighed and stood. “I hate this. I’m going to sketch.”
“Love you,” Anna called after you the way a mother does after a moody teenager.
“Love you,” you said and closed your bedroom door.
Summary: Peace had a way to be boring and exciting at once, for Tory Miller, it was lonely until it was not. Her life was about taking it slow, one day at a time.
Warnings: SLOW BURN, angst, swearing, death, violence, fluff, hurt/comfort, child endangerment, general trauma, drama, mentions of infidelity and polygamy, general lack or morals, mentions of nudity, graphic sexual scenes (nsfw), mentions of blood, apocalyptic world. As always, I don’t want to give the story away in the tags, read at your own risk.
Author’s note:
••• ••• •••
Peace
Alexandria, VA.
“The purpose of all war is peace”
—Augustine of Hippo
••• ••• •••
Tory sat down to watch the sunset.
It had become a habit of hers, to sit down on the back porch of her home to watch the sunset as the warmth of the day vanished little by little.
Her Peanut seemed to like Mama's peaceful afternoons, as they kicked up a storm inside Tory's belly, like they could not contain their energy.
Yet…
It was quite a lonely existence.
Gabriel was living with her, she had given him the chance to take one of the bedrooms while the reconstruction of the church went underway.
It was funny that her home had mostly been kept fully functional thanks to her being one of Negan's wives, not that she would complain.
These days, Alexandria was quiet, so quiet she could tell exactly what made certain sounds and at what time.
She mostly ignored Gabriel's crying in the nights, it was a very lucrative agreement. She ignored his noise, and he ignored her own. Her nightmares had mostly disappeared, probably because she was too tired all the time to actually have time to dream, the only thing that always featured in her nightmares -every single night- was Negan's open neck, the blood staining the leaves, her hands, his immaculate white shirt splattered with intense red.
Tory had made peace with it in a way, in the same way, she had made peace with her hate for Rick Grimes.
Through all that process, her marked arm stayed silent.
It was the other lucrative part of the agreement, Gabriel took care of Negan -something she would have done if she had been allowed; a tiring and thankless job in her very honest opinion.
Tory loved the man, but that did not mean she didn't know how much of a pain in the ass he could become.
"He is not the same." Gabriel had told her.
"I suppose being so close to dying and away from the sun can do that to people." She had told him in return.
With a long sigh, Tory stood -it was getting difficult, one of these days she'd have to stop sitting on the steps- and went back inside.
The next day would be a long one. Roy would come to fetch her for her prenatal appointment of the month.
Rhodes was extremely… strict about it. At first, he had protested Tory's deal with Rick, but she had told him in no uncertain terms that fucking her did not give him any sort of right over her.
It had shut him up real fast.
After a prolonged silence the good doctor had retaliated by demanding she had prenatal visits once a month and then twice a month closer to her due date. Not that they knew when that would be, it was all approximations.
This was her last monthly visit.
"Victoria, you look tired." Gabriel pointed out, zero tact about it too.
"Gabey," he flinched, she did it on purpose, "please shut it, I know I look like poop these days, but isn't that the miracle of life?" Sarcasm and cynism dripped from each word.
Fuck, Tory thought, even without the cursing I sound like Negan now.
Gabriel's cheeks darkened a bit.
"I suppose." He answered vaguely.
"Cool, I prepared some vegetables in the butter Charlotte sent with Roy, and there's some meat from Hilltop, it's seasoned and well done, your taste." It wasn’t an apology, she felt unable to feel sorry for anyone these days.
"Thank you." The father said, and he did seem grateful.
"It's the least I can do, roommate." She fetched herself a glass of water. "How did the inmate behave today?"
Gabriel grimaced.
"Ah, that says it all." She sighed and sat down after putting a plate in front of him and getting one herself.
"I can understand his need to get a rise out of me," Gabriel said softly after he prayed about their food.
"That does not mean you have to put up with it," Tory said, determined to be fair. "He caused you a big deal of trauma, you're entitled to be angry, religion and teaching moments be damned, Gabriel."
The father smiled.
"You're right."
"Usually am." She answered, taking a bite of her food right after.
••• ••• ••• ••• ••• •••
"Your blood pressure is a bit high, are you controlling your salt intake?" Dr Rhodes asked.
Tory frowned.
"I don't have a lot of things in Alexandria, one of them is salt, you should ask my roommate." Tory crossed her arms after the cuff from the pump was taken off.
"I trust that you know what can happen, that's why I'm telling you instead of telling Vera or your father."
Rhodes gave her a smug smile and she threw her shoe at him. He avoided it without even flinching.
"Try to keep your pressure down, we need this little one to stay a little longer inside, okay?"
Tory nodded.
"If you want to keep my pressure down, don't provoke me, you heathen.”
••• ••• ••• ••• ••• •••
The next day, when Roy dropped her off with some more groceries for her, Gabriel and Negan, she noticed.
There were more people in Alexandria.
Tory felt relieved, but she also felt sad.
There was no one left from her old days in Alexandria, at least no one she cared about.
She cried a bit as she poured over the book on pregnancy and birth that she'd stolen from The Sanctuary. Her desire to think up baby names vanished when she thought of Martha and Lucas.
They had surprised Rick Grimes with the tight leash they had on the Sanctuary and their people. He obviously expected different, he had expected chaos; but the Sanctuary was more than just Negan, they both -Negan and Rick- had failed to understand it and it had affected everyone.
It had left them in ruins.
Tory was holed up in her room, unwilling to socialize with the people now in Alexandria, and that's where Gabriel found her.
He knocked on the door, it was soft and polite.
"Come in." She called, wiping her tears away.
"Sorry, Victoria, I think you should know, Negan is running a fever."
••• ••• •••
Tory spent most of her night watching Negan from a very uncomfortable chair, putting cold, wet towels on his forehead and chest.
She could see his tattoos, Elle's soulmark and some scars.
Good God, he was old.
Old enough to be her father.
Yet, her heart twisted in pain at the thought of his suffering. She almost cried when he started calling for Elle, for Lucille.
He didn't call for her, and that hurt just as much, but Tory did not stop changing the little towels.
Negan was calmer, by the time dawn broke his fever had broken too.
Tory took his hand, unconscious as he was, he'd never notice that his hand had been over her swollen belly and that their little Peanut had kicked against his hand.
••• ••• ••••
Her water broke in the middle of the day, she was on her way to take a walk around Alexandria.
It was like any other day, it just happened to be quite a busy morning. Tory was surprised, she had read about it, the process, the breathing techniques.
It was still terrifying, still unknown.
Vera was taking care of her children, so Tory would never think to separate her from them, even if she needed the support, calling her was not an option.
She had her pick between Gabriel and any stranger now living in Alexandria.
Even Carl would be good company, compared to them. She was against scarring a kid with things like childbirth though.
Gabriel -her resigned companion- brought the walkie-talkie that Doveport had procured for if they ever needed anything from each other.
"Is Doctor Rhodes available?" She asked, trying to sound calm, while her mind shook in terror.
The walkie squeaked a few sounds, interference…
"What do you need, Alexandria?" Came Charlotte's soothing voice.
Tory would have laughed if a contraction hadn't struck her. She couldn't even scream.
"Can you send Rhodes to Alexandria?"
"He has things to do." Charlotte huffed in annoyance.
"Charlotte?" Tory growled.
"What?" The community leader snapped.
"I'm giving birth, you demented woman!"
There was a long silence.
"He'll be on his way."
It took three hours for Henry Rhodes to arrive.
Tory was wearing a baggy t-shirt that she would gladly burn after this ordeal.
She was sweaty, in pain and felt like crap.
Her Peanut was a tiny asshole, making her go through all this.
"Just like your father," Tory muttered angrily as her body shuddered in the aftermath of another contraction.
"...—bout six minutes between, according to her."
"Thank you, father. Please keep her dad company, the last thing we need is a Dad in Tory's room, make him do something useful like heating water and gathering towels," Good Lord, Henry Rhodes, MD, was an angel of heaven.
Tory sighed as sweet relief coursed through her veins.
"Hey, Tory." The good doctor greeted.
She waved at him with a stupid, desperate little smile.
"It hurts." She declared.
"I'd expect it."
It took her baby another seven hours to come into the world, kicking and screaming, after making her sweat herself up twice while growling and cursing as she'd never done before.
Her baby, all covered in the slimy fluid of her insides was, in Tory's eyes, the prettiest little thing to ever exist.
"A girl!" Henry Rhodes exclaimed, a bit surprised himself.
Tory's head dropped back in the pillow as Henry put her dirty little baby on her stomach and he went about fixing her down there.
She barely noticed as her baby, her little girl, tried to eat her balled fist. Tory stopped her.
"Wait, honey, you got to be clean," she whispered with a raspy voice, after so much pushing, growling and at times, screaming.
"I'll do it."
Tory noticed Roy at the door. He looked as terrified as she had felt all day.
Roy Miller took his granddaughter and cleaned her in warm water, making sure to check her nose and the back of her ears. She had to be a good baby because not one squeak was heard, only little contented gurgles.
Her little girl was then swaddled like a tight burrito, in a little blanket and one of Tory's fluffiest flannel shirts to stave off the cold of the room.
Tory took her baby, finally connecting in her mind that it was her job to check if her child had all her toes and fingers and both eyes.
She did.
Her daughter was perfect.
"Ella Henry Jones," She said. "You deserve a big name, Peanut."
Ella, for Elle, Henry, for Tory's first great love, and the name of the man who had been her father for more than half her life.
A part of her appreciated the irony of what a pretentious name it was, just like her own.
That came from her mom.
As if reading her mind, her biological father approached.
"She would be proud of you."
Tory nodded, suddenly teary-eyed as she looked down at her perfect little girl.
"Yes, she would."
At least they agreed on that.
••• ••• •••
Negan never looked at his arm anymore, but today had been the exception.
Tory was usually silent, still using that amazing control of hers to keep him at bay, even after becoming his wife.
Could he blame her, though?
Hadn't he done his best to break her heart, to reject her and push her away?
It was no wonder she simply stopped coming around. If he had a penny for every time he had asked Gabriel about Tory, Negan would be going for around ten dollars.
Today, spectacularly hot day that it was, seemed to be either special or important.
His little soulmate had taken it upon herself to curse with such creative phrasing that it made him raise his eyebrows more than once.
He had to laugh when her pretty writing came up with 'absolute fucking stick-bitch', whatever the fuck she meant, it made him chuckle.
The cursing helped him forget about his empty stomach; apparently, he wasn't important enough to warrant a damn sandwich. Maybe he'd finally struck a nerve within the good priest and he'd decided to stop coming.
His stomach rumbled loudly and he turned to look at the boring as fuck wall, wondering when his next meal would come and who'd bring it in.
When he opened his eyes, it was dark out.
The lock on the entrance was being pulled open and someone new walked downstairs.
"Hey, boss man,"
For fuck's sake.
"Miller? The fuck are you doing here?" He growled.
"I was the only good Samaritan willing to bring you sustenance, boss man," the man could be a cock-sucking bastard, but Negan appreciated the sarcasm and dry wit of Roy Miller, he missed those traits that Tory had accustomed him to. Listening to Gabriel's forgiveness and repentance monologues was enough of a punishment, and he didn't even want to go into the self-righteous Rick Grimes who came every two weeks or so to check on him.
Roy had a sandwich on a plate for him, and not any sandwich, a good one, judging by the smell of it.
"Made it myself," his former worker explained without prompting. "It's a happy occasion, a kid was born today."
"And you wanted to celebrate with me?"
"You're like… my son-in-law?" He made a non-committal noise as he spoke. Negan's stomach turned at the thought.
"Reluctantly," he agreed. "and I suppose your daughter was helping?"
"She was seriously invested in it, you could say,” he said, his face had a shrewd sort of look as Negan watched him. “The kid is family, you see, one of us.”
“Great, you’ll be changing fabric diapers for the next three and a half years, so what? That’s just plain shitty to me,” Negan spat.
Roy Miller chuckled.
“Probably, but I always wanted more children, maybe I got a shot at not being shit this time ‘round.”
They said nothing for a few moments.
“And?” Negan asked.
“What?”
“What of the kid?” He completed his question.
“Beautiful, looks a lot like Victoria, name’s Ella, Victoria picked it too.”
Negan frowned, wondering just how Roy Miller had gotten anyone pregnant, he was sour like a fucking lemon. He also wondered how the man had gotten anyone up the duff, if he had been too busy to even pay attention to his depressed daughter, how had he made time to fornicate with anyone?
“You put a bun in the oven of that sweet lady from the shop?” he asked, happy to talk about whatever but his own personal life or his past.
Roy made a face.
“Don’t be gross, she was married, I flirted for the good cans, bossman.” his not-father-in-law shuddered. “Ella is the sweetest kid, has these pretty hazel eyes, a bit of an asshole who cried all night–”
“She’s a baby, you asshole,” Negan growled. “You should know that.”
Roy chuckled softly as he leaned back on the uncomfortable looking chair that was usually occupied by either Rick or Gabriel after Miller’s daughter stopped visiting.
“I do know she is a baby, she is the kind of thing that was supposed to make our work worth it,” Roy said, his face going soft.
It hurt.
Negan had always wanted children, first because he liked them, then because Lucille had wanted them, and then like an obsession to maintain a legacy that was no more.
Roy Miller was still looking at him, his eyes trying to tell him something, he had even leaned forward a bit.
“Spill it, Miller, what is it?”
“If I open my trap, it will cause extreme prejudice to Victoria and Ella,” he said cryptically.
“Fucking Rick, isn’t it?”
His not-father-in-law nodded.
“Victoria might explain, just, give her a chance, she had reasons.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“She has reasons too, now,” Roy laid back on the chair, again, looking completely at home on it. “I heard something interesting in an exchange run, talking bitters, how about that? Well, actually, they said it was whispering.”
••• ••• •••
Tory sat down to watch the sunset.
This sunset seemed brighter, better, prettier.
“Would you look at that, Ellie?” she asked her baby softly, holding her closer to her chest. Ella’s pretty hazel eyes blinked up, watching her with those eyes she loved so much. “It’s gorgeous, just like you.”
