smth V’s grief after mikoshi, how it all has to compound bc johnny is gone and they only have six months left to live, despite everything they did, all the people they mowed through for a slim chance at survival and even that was pointless. should they have ever taken the biochip from jackie and slotted it in? why didn’t they fucking think? what was the point of it all? because they’re still living on a countdown, they’re still right where they were before, but this time they’re so alone. even if they have a partner, it doesn’t fill the void that johnny left — a void they didn’t even k ow they had ntil johnny occupied it and then disappeared.
V’s partner watching them and wondering where that fire went. V still wants to live, still fights every day, but there is a heaviness to them that wasn’t there before. and they know they can’t do anything, try as they might, to fill in the spots where johnny once filled. because they can’t read V’s mind, aren’t in tune with their emotions and wants and needs like johnny was.
of course i have to look at this thru kerryv bc i can imagine it is agonizing for kerry, whos always considered himself lesser than johnny. bc in this instance, he is. it’s not something he makes up in his head — kerry cannot fill the void that johnny left. he just can’t. and that fire that’s all but drained out of V, he can’t light it back up.
anyways
