perro arrepentido
contains:: ex situationship!Toji x afab reader. getting back together. mentions of 'cheating' attempt. regretful and soft yet still horned up toji. suggestive content 18+, smutty at the end but not full on. toji is 100% doing a job for free to repay Shiu for this favor. i subscribe to the 'feels undeserving but wants you bad' Toji propaganda and i always will.
not proofread yet wc: 3.2k
“I’ve done countless things for you.” Shiu’s voice came out from your phone’s speaker.
You had gotten back from work less than twenty minutes ago when he called, telling you something about a job going wrong near your place, having to readjust his plans and needing to drop something off just while he takes care of it. That something? Toji Fushiguro.
“Don’t play the guilt card with me. I don’t want him here.” Your fatigued tone was accompanied by the sound of a knife slicing through and tapping the wooden board on your counter.
“It’s just one night.” You rolled your eyes at the consolation, carefully arranging the tomatoes you sliced on the generously loaded sandwich you were making.
“Why can’t you take him to his place?”
“Too far.”
“And you have nowhere else?”
“Nowhere free.”
You let out a humorless laugh, throwing your head back before groaning. Of course you’d give in. You couldn’t deny Shiu such a small favor; after all, he was right, he has done more for you than you can even being to count. The very apartment you were living in, he practically got for you.
"Is there any chance you could bring him in handcuffs?”
You could clearly picture the grin on his face when he chuckled. “No, but if you have duct tape, we can try that. Now, do you mind opening the door?”
Your eyebrows furrowed, and before you could voice your confusion, Shiu hung up and a swift knock on your door followed right after.
You took a moment before making your way to the door, burying your face in your hands while taking the longest deep breath known to man. You could do this, you’re a grown woman, and he’s just the piece of shit you were head over heels for.
“So much for calling beforehand.” You chastised as you opened the door wide enough for them to step in.
“I was counting on a yes.”
You rolled your eyes yet still greeted Shiu with a smile. One that quickly dropped when you locked your eyes on Toji. He walked into the house, saturating your senses with his imposing demeanor, and that softened gaze he reserved just for you. You couldn’t help the scowl that followed upon seeing him. However, your disgust wasn’t over his presence itself; it was over how it made you feel.
The three of you made your way into your kitchen as Shiu explained to you some of their situation, as little as he could to not properly involve you in their problem. You leaned on the counter, listening intently, trying your best not to let your gaze drift to him and failing every time.
“Now, I’m out of here.” Shiu tapped his pockets, taking his phone out before leaning over to you, planting a small kiss on your cheek before turning on his heel. “I’ll be back for him before sunrise.”
“Don’t be an asshole.” He threw Toji’s way with a pat on his shoulder.
You straightened up as Shiu walked away, meeting the dreaded gaze that was burning through your skin right now.
“I—”
“Have you eaten?” You cut him off, not ready for a conversation yet.
He chuckled dryly, then shook his head no.
You pushed his way the plate with the sandwich you had been making while on the phone; your appetite diminished now.
“Have it. I’m going to shower.” You offered, handing him a napkin and reaching for the fridge before he could object.
“Can I speak?” He watched you amused, gladly accepting the beer you handed him.
You didn’t answer, simply looking at him and waving your hand for him to start.
“Thank you, your highness.” He teased with a mock curtsy.
Silence lingered for a moment as he straightened to his full height again, staring holes into you.
“I missed you.”
You couldn’t have rolled your eyes further back if you tried.
“Fuck off.”
You left the kitchen the moment you said it, afraid that if you stayed even a second too long, he’d be able to see how badly you wanted to melt over his words. How long had you been waiting to hear him say that?
—
You don’t know how long you stayed under the cold water, staring mindlessly at the tiled wall, pondering over what you should do, if anything at all.
Wondering if you should come out once you're done, sit next to him, even if you wouldn't be able to endure any longer than five minutes in his presence; or maybe you should just hole yourself up in your room and not come out until Shiu called.
If only you could reach into your brain and completely shake off every emotionally charged thought you had of him as soon as they happened, it’d make this night a whole lot easier.
The sound of a notification going off on your phone finally took you out of your ruminating, prompting you to step out of the shower and continue overthinking while you dried yourself off and got dressed. Stepping into your room, you searched through your closet, picking a loose pair of pajama pants and slipping them on.
The moment you grabbed a tank top from a pile, your door was knocked on, and before you could even finish putting it on, Toji had already barged in your room.
“Could you lift it up again?” He asked with a smirk, calmly closing the door behind him and setting down on your dresser a plate with a sandwich, messier than the one you had made earlier.
“What do you want?” You asked, completely dismissing his request, and firmly setting the tank top down fully.
He didn’t retreat from his spot at the door, keeping you away from a possible escape. “You should eat too.” He gestured to the plate before crossing his arms.
“Thank you. You can leave.” You spoke as firmly as you could muster, not wanting to admit the small action warmed your heart in a far too familiar way.
“No.” He simply chuckled.
“I’m serious, Fushiguro. Get out.” You ordered again, walking to your bathroom in hopes that ignoring him would make him leave.
“Toji.” He corrected before following your trail. “And no. We’re talking.”
You paid no mind to his correction, choosing the path of silence. You stood in front of the bathroom mirror, grabbing your hairbrush and detangling your hair as if the immense man standing behind you wasn’t visible, praying to yourself he would give up if you stayed unbothered.
“You heard what I said earlier.”
God wasn’t listening tonight.
You hummed in response, your eyes drifting to him, seeing his own rake through your body with much more fervor than you’d like to admit you noticed.
“You missed me?”
“No.”
“Bullshit.”
You groaned, starting to feel irritation get the best of you. “Why is it so hard for you to leave me alone?” You muttered under your breath, not wanting to start an argument but knowing deep down it was only a matter of time.
“I thought you liked having me around.” He teased, with a pang of something you didn’t want to call hurt lingering in his tone.
He reached to his left, handing you the hand towel next to him when you grabbed your face wash, continuing to go through your nightly routine as if he wasn’t present; the casual domesticity of the moment making you practically rip the towel out of his hand.
“Emphasis on the past tense.” You muttered, washing your face for a moment too long, basking in the small moment of silence.
“What do I have to say for you to talk to me? Properly” He watched your every move through the mirror, the slightest of smiles tugging on his lips.
“I don’t think we have anything to talk about.” You dried off your face before stepping back out to the room, holding back the need to push him away when he followed close behind.
“I think there’s plenty.”
“Fushiguro—”
“Toji.” He interrupted, grabbing a firm hold of your wrist to guide you as he sat down on your bed, legs spread wide as if he belonged there, and made you stand right in front of him.
“Human of the male species.” You started again, stubbornly refusing to give in to his request again, as if saying his name would set you on fire. “Whatever it is you want to discuss, I don’t feel like it.” You emphasized with a pull of your wrist that did nothing for him to loosen his grip, only making him scoff.
“You can’t still be mad at me. It wasn’t—”
“If you dare tell me you cheating wasn’t a big deal, I will manage to stab you before Shiu makes it back.” You spit out, feeling a headache coming your way the moment you brought up the subject.
Toji took a hold of your other wrist as well, bringing you closer between his legs, his eyes never leaving yours. “I tried telling you. It’s not what I meant to do.” You interjected with a dry laugh, mumbling an undetectable insult under your breath, still you let him continue. “I didn’t think we were exclusive, we never talked about it.”
“And I didn’t think it was necessary to even state it.”
“Oh, c’mon.”
“Oh, c’mon!” You mocked. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! That I thought having you here practically every night, having you embedded into every part of my life, and having you drag me into every bit of yours would mean we have some sort of relationship. That was truly stupid of me.”
“I’m not reproaching you for it. But you’re admitting it, we didn’t talk about it.”
Your jaw clenched at the comment, and he could sense you were about to throw another rebuttal, or claw out his eyes. He let go of your wrists to wrap an arm around your waist, bringing you against him, desperate. He looked up at you with reverence, his free hand brushing up and down your arm, “Tch, stay still. Listen to me.” He cooed when you tried to pull it away.
“I don’t want to listen to you talk about your undeniable innocence.”
“Fine, I fucked up. Will you hear me out then?” The admission took you off guard, giving him the space to continue. “I didn’t think we should be exclusive—Stop, listen.” His hand gripped your waist tighter as you tried to pull away again. A dull ache under his fingertips assuring you’ll feel his grip even once it’s long gone.
Your hand pushed his arm, yet any try was futile against his strength. “Stay still before I tie you up, and you know I will.” He warned, yet there was no real harshness to his tone.
“I didn’t think you should be with me.” He eased his grip once you finally stood still, both his hands coming to your waist and rubbing apologetic circles. “I don’t think you should be with me. But I can’t not have you with me.” He let out a long sigh, this bullshit of expressing yourself properly for a man with little to no emotional regulation proved to be harder than he thought.
His head dropped to your midsection; words muffled against your top. “What you saw that night was not what you thought. I didn’t—” He stopped, not wanting to repeat the same words he knew pissed you off so badly. “It was somewhat what you thought. I did take her home, but I didn’t— I didn’t do it.”
Your eyebrows furrowed at the attempt of a confession, the reminder of that night tasting sour on your throat. You had gone to his place, tired of his sudden distant attitude and wanting to know if you should put an end to whatever the two of you were doing; only to find some random woman leaving his apartment right as you arrived, with him looking wasted and disheveled behind her.
You hadn’t wanted to hear his explanations, apologies, or worse, his dismissal; you were gone the moment his eyes locked on you. The next day you had already blocked him practically everywhere and started spending as much time at work and anywhere else to avoid any interaction with him, knowing he’d probably be knocking at your door every evening for the next few days.
“You didn’t do what?” You asked, your hand sliding through his hair and pulling it to make him face you again, a move he complied with willingly.
“I didn’t fuck her.” He answered, his eyes boring into yours, fingers twitching against your sides as if waiting for you to try and pull away so he could pull you right back in.
“I know how it looked. But I didn’t. I couldn’t.” He waited, not wanting to continue without giving you a chance to answer while you were too mixed up on how to even react. He cleared his throat and straightened up. “I thought I could, and that if I did, it would show nothing was serious between us. And that I wouldn’t mind if you did the same.”
“I don’t think I ever made it seem like I wanted to do that.” Your voice was small now, riddled with confusion; all efforts of arguing long gone. You didn’t know if you were understanding him correctly, and if you were, it was uncertain whether you believed him or not.
“You didn’t, it was all me.”
“I’m not understanding. If you didn’t want us to be in a relationship, you could’ve said that. You could’ve said we were a temporary thing; I would have-” You stopped yourself before you could finish. You would have accepted it, you would’ve been okay with it; you would’ve taken anything he was willing to give as long as it meant you had something of him, anything. But you weren’t going to humiliate yourself like that.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I just don’t fucking know how to.” He sighed, dropping his head against your midsection once more with a groan. “Fushiguro.”
“Shut up.” He muttered, his hands caressed your hips, silence reigning for a moment too long.
“You deserve someone better than me. But I would die before I let you be anyone else’s... I felt that way then too, and I thought I was being an asshole for being so selfish. For dragging you with me, when you could have something so much better with anyone that wasn't me.”
His hands slid under your shirt and up your back, holding you in place. “I wanted to push that away and move on from you. I wanted to push you away. And I couldn’t, as soon as I brought her inside, even drunk out of my mind I knew I fucked over us, and myself. And I couldn’t regret it more if I tried”
Your eyes were stuck on him, and you were almost frozen in place. Analyzing every word and every movement even if minuscule, to catch him on the lie, if it was one.
He couldn’t stand the silence as it lingered on once again, and he couldn’t stand not acting on his regret, not acting on that selfish need to have you that never died down despite your strict distance.
“Forgive me.” A simple request came out; his nose ghosted over the bare skin of your stomach, the fabric of your shirt riding higher from the languid strokes of his hands on your back.
“For being an idiot.” He murmured while looking up to meet your gaze.
“For hurting you.” He pressed a kiss on your stomach.
“For not being honest.” He continued up, lips planting firmly on every inch of skin his hands exposed.
“Gimme another chance.”
He moved higher up your torso until reaching right under your breasts. You were breathless from the kisses alone, shaking your head at his words, yet not attempting to flee from his grasp. “I don’t trust a single word that comes out of your mouth.”
He laughed against your skin, “Did you ever.” It wasn't even a question. He’s never been trustworthy; never tried to be. He could only hope you give him the opportunity to start trying now.
Your hands went to his shoulders to steady yourself as he rose up. You couldn’t think of a proper answer, not when his lips decided to connect with your neck now, gently sucking.
“Talk to me.” He murmured against your skin before biting down, doing his best to leave a nice mark before kissing a trail up to your lips, finally capturing them with that characteristic roughness of his.
“You’re gonna give me a chance?” The words were muffled against your lips.
You thought of saying no, of pushing him off and telling him to leave you alone. You didn’t want to go through another uncertain chapter of your life, to have him doubt what he wants all over again and leave you to pick up the pieces. And still, you took a hold of his face, deepening the kiss and relishing in the groan he let out. God, you were an idiot.
Toji didn’t wait any longer to devour you, engulfing you completely in his arms and slipping his tongue into your mouth; with fervor, he slowly dragged out every breath you took, familiarizing himself once more with the taste of you, the feel of you.
Without breaking the kiss, he gripped both of your thighs and hoisted you to wrap yourself around him, pressing you roughly against his crotch, and taking advantage of the gasp you let out to suck on your tongue.
It was completely filthy the way he was kissing you now. Sucking you in, exploring every part of your mouth, biting on your lips hard enough to make you squeal against him.
One of your hands pushed on his chest, tapping it incessantly when you started feeling too lightheaded. “Fushiguro!” You smacked his shoulder once he finally let you breathe; it made him laugh, but he still complied, sort of, moving back to kiss along your jaw and neck.
“Say my name.” He asked against your skin, licking a long stripe along the length of your neck, your head thrown back to give him further access.
“You’re obsessed with that now.” The words came out in shaky breaths, open mouthed kisses along the line of your collarbone furthering your exhilarated state.
“I know you’re doing it on purpose, doll. I'm not stupid.” He rasped out before sitting back on the bed with you still wrapped around him, his hands gripping your ass tightly and rolling your hips. “Because you know—fuck, I missed this—you know I like how it sounds when it comes out those pretty lips.” He groaned against your neck, his movements unfaltering, the rough grind of your clothed pussy against the rock-hard bulge in his pants earning a symphony of moans out of you.
He thrusted his hips up in tandem to each roll of your hips, making you whine out. “C’mon, girl.” He continued biting and sucking new marks on your neck. The intensity of his movements only grew the more you melted against him.
“Say—’I forgive you, Toji. I missed you’—go on.” He mocked a needy tone, grunting as your nails dug into his arms in protests over his teasing. It was startling how easy the switch flipped; he was past sadness and onto showing you what he could’ve been giving you all this time you were apart, what he’s been craving for all these months you were too busy pushing him away. “Say it, and I’ll give you everything you want. You won’t go a day without me ever again.”
