#patientquotes

[dr-dre-anatomy]

PATIENT QUOTES

Patient: Yo doc, ask me how long I’ve had a weak back for.

Me: How long have you had a weak back for?

Patient: Oh you know, started about a week back. HAHAHAHA.

[dr-dre-anatomy]

PATIENT QUOTES

Me (to gunshot victim patient): Sir, have your testicles always been this big?

Patient (smooth): ...

Me: Are you sure? *removes blanket to reveal extremely large scrotal hematoma*

Patient: MY BALLS!!!!!

[dr-dre-anatomy]

PATIENT QUOTES

Me: Your blood sugar came back elevated to 800.

Patient: Alright, new high score!

Me: Sir, please put your hand down.

[dr-dre-anatomy]

PATIENT QUOTES

Me: (enters room)

Patient: Did you just walk out of Grey’s Anatomy?

Me: Who me?

Patient: Dr. GQ over here...

[dr-dre-anatomy]

PATIENT QUOTES

Me: Have you thought about any names for your baby?

Patient: We haven’t been able to pick one.

Patient’s Husband: Voltron.

Me: Excuse me?

Patient: We are not naming our child Voltron.

Patient’s Husband: Nobody fucks with a kid named Voltron!

[dr-dre-anatomy]

PATIENT QUOTES

Patient: I have a question.

Me: Is it about your arm? You should wear the cast for 6 weeks.

Patient: No, how do blind men know when to stop wiping?

Me: I don’t know, they still have noses I guess.

[dr-dre-anatomy]

ATTENDING/PATIENT QUOTES

(during trauma assessment) Patient: What are you all doing? Why are you turning me over?!

Me: Alright, sir we have to do a rectal exam. You are going to feel a cold finger in your bottom.

Patient: YO! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE COLD?!

Attending: If you want a warm finger you are going to have to pay extra.

[dailymotivationbulletin]

Be patient. Sometimes you have to go through the worst to get the best.