27th September: #27 - Sole
All was quiet in the aetherial sea.
His ear twitched at the sound of the atiascope’s lift, and the footsteps that approached.
“The researchers in Thaumazein tell me you’ve been here a lot lately,” came Krile’s voice.
There was no lie to her statement, he had found himself drawn to the place and unable to sate the feeling until he descended, though he had made a point not to take an excursion into the sea itself.
“I can leave if I’m in their way.” He hated how flat his voice sounded, but he had little motivation to give it any energy.
“No, no, not at all,” Krile assured him. “In fact, they seemed rather worried about you. ‘Tis not normal for someone to stare out into the sea so… longingly. What is it that’s troubling you?”
Ryn knew he was not a man for subtlety, but he had hoped he wasn’t so obvious. “Homesickness, for lack of a better word..”
“Homesickness? For the aetherial sea?”
Her lack of response told him of her surprise, and truth be told, he had had the same reaction to his own feelings when he first came to realise them.
“I’ve been feeling like this ever since She left us; untethered, lost, like I need to return to somewhere. Coming here seems to alleviate it a bit.”
Krile stood with him in silence for a moment, thinking over what he said and taking in the ambiance. It truly was a peaceful place in spite of the potential dangers.
“I must admit, I have been feeling something similar since Her passing. But I can’t say I can liken it to homesickness.” Sharlayan was her home after all. “Perhaps a trip home is in order?” she offered.
The change in his posture was immediate, but not in the way Krile had hoped. “I don’t know where that is,” he said quietly.
“Oh, Ryn. I’m so sorry. It was wrong of me to assume.”
He shook his head. “It's ok, you didn’t know. No-one does.”
Krile felt her Echo respond, and expected a vision to follow. But nothing came, almost as if there was nothing to witness. “Do you… know anything of where you come from?”
“No. Actually, I don’t remember anything of my life before I arrived in Eorzea,” Ryn admitted. “My earliest memory is of answering Her call. She was the sole reason I was able to keep moving forward, She gave me a purpose when all I knew was my name.”
The realisation dawned on Krile that in the handful of years he had been in Eorzea, Ryn had done so much and more with no memories. It seemed perfectly reasonable that he would be homesick for Hydaelyn when She was one of his earliest.
And neither had he had the time to mourn Her.
“Don’t… don’t tell anyone, please,” he continued after a pause. “I don’t want them to think that this is something that needs to be fixed, I’ve made my peace with it. Just didn’t think it would bite me in the arse like this.” He gave a half-hearted attempt at a laugh.
Krile found his comment heartbreaking, but she knew him well enough by now to know he was being honest. “I won’t say anything,” she promised.
“Thanks. I’ll… I’ll stop getting in the way of the researchers.”