#pbsteez

[manchestersfinestxxx]

Lost. It?

Life seems so dull. Not much happening at the moment, other than the usual. I have visions of how I want things & how I want to be, I'm not being hard on myself & I know it sounds like I'm forever discontent, I just believe in a few set things, and one of those things is that there is always room for improvement in your life no matter what.

Everyone has been saying it's just the feeling of change and transition from university to life back home, I can understand where they are coming from but it feels more than that, but I can't put a label or thing or name on what it is.

If I could compare it to something it's like a feeling of 'second best' or of being inadequate. I don't know. Don't know why I'm posting this either.

I feel like Tony Soprano in a time of helplessness.

[manchestersfinestxxx]

:s:s:s

doesn't even feel like a Thursday. my brain still thinks it's approaching NYE for some reason. still kinda recovering from NYD, and it doesn't help that i didn't get much sleep last night either; party animal. feel like i'm about to pass out but the last few days have been wicked. though i must say my 'best' mate let me down NYD, it was a good job i was with other mates as well otherwise my night would have gone down the shitter (excuse the expression). anyway my brain can't handle any more thinking or composing of textual information. peace X

[manchestersfinestxxx]

looooonnng day but i came home from the gym & mum had served up the BEST steak & chips EVER, it was BEAUTIFUL. now i'm in such a mellow mood after having just watched Led Zeppelin live in 1969 before they blew up on the world stage, incredible. if you think you're good enough recommend me some good musical artists to listen to? baring in mind the mellow mood... chances are my taste is far superior but gizz it a go. bed soon, up early, legs tomorrow, not looking forward to it considering i shouldn't have really been at the gym on my rest day, today. peace X

[manchestersfinestxxx]

20//05//2012//// ????zzz

lacking serious motivation & need plans for this week really... probably update my CV & start thinking about a summer time job back in Manchester BUT I also have to do this work placement for university, which has to be 180 hours and IDEALLY completed before mid June// bordering impossible - dilemma. wish life wasn't made out to be so important// critical at certain times. can't we all just chill, workout, play sport & be happy?! anyway, yeah I need to sell some stuff, buy a few things too (hate my seemingly expensive taste), get my life in order, and furthermore shred. going to go cardio heavy this week at the gym, going to be a killer but if I time my eating correctly and take in the right stuff it'll be swell. what if this was all a dream? give me endless amounts of money. peace X

[manchestersfinestxxx]

fack sake.

spent about 10 mins choosing a cover photo for fb out of my thousands and thousands of beautiful pictures i have on my mac, finally chose an acceptable one of course. why on earth did i even waste my time doing that? treated myself to a couple of bottles of san miguel after destroying the monstrous 3000 word essay on labour last night, however i thought it'd be a good idea to email my lecturer (the dude marking the essay) and see if he thought i could include anything else/ what he thought of it and now he's given me quite a bit of feedback on things to change etc, and i just cannot be arsed! should have just submitted it there and then... jesus J.

bet yeah, chill time, suppose i should really call it a night but i'm wide awake now after watching white chicks...

doomed.

peace X

[manchestersfinestxxx]

Sleepless.

Alright, considering I cannot seem to, for the life of me, get some shut eye I might as well do this whole life update thing. Well, I'm currently on my Easter// half-term// semester break (whatever you wanna call it), I don't really know how long I'm technically off for, cos Uni doesn't really tell you things like that, which is just another example of how bad the communication is at times to be fair. However because I don't have anymore lectures for this year (scary shit) I don't have to be in each week, so all I have to do now is sort my work placement, do the 180 hours and complete a horrible essay on Labour in the nineteenth century and then revise for an exam which is in May, oh and start my thesis. Apart from contributing to the above I've been playing a lot of football, attending the gym everyday getting yoked, playing rugby, trying to get into selling stuff on eBay, swimming, doing cool stuff with friends, trying to plan my summer, organising car things, tidying my room back home in Manchester, and talking to the occasional weirdo. You know. Anyway, that's just a little condensed version of a few things that's been happening lately, now I have the all too familiar writers block lark and I think I am finally start to drop off here, so ima scrrrrram. Peace & love X

[manchestersfinestxxx]

week 9

hello, today has been pretty refreshing, went for a nice trek to Ladore falls or whatever it is called, had a nice climb amongst disgusting moss, but got some really nice photos which i'm kinda proud of. i've been thinking about university, as well as a tonne of other things, i have a lecture which i'm really looking forward to on mental health on tues morning 9-11am, which i am deffs attending, however i have a workshop on some absolutely awful module which is basically nonacademic, pointless and subsequently insults my intelligence, it lasts from 9 in the morning until 4 in the afternoon, then i have a presentation to do with the same module which is due on Friday. effort. my initial thinking and proposition is that i attend the exciting academic lecture on Tues, and then drive back to the Lakes almost straight after and forget the rest of the week ever ever existed in my mind or university life... i like being separate from life around here, it's chillllllllllll...

*writers block*

peace X

[manchestersfinestxxx]

rather bored...

with quite a few things at the moment, like at first, being in university 2 hours a week this term looked quite appealing but it's dreadful. i've lost every bit of motivation i had to do work. i suck at checking my e-mails too (though i never really seem to miss anything important), another thing is, is that everyone seems so fucking boring man? is it me? am i the one that's the boring one... surely not. i still want that breath of fresh air, that new change of scenery for a little while...

one thing that's pissed me off actually is the fact that we have this workshop tomorrow from 9 till 4, and there's been sweet F-all notice about it, where to go, what to do. the communication is shit man. does my head in. this week i'm on my reading week, i have more on than usual according to uni, so therefore it's not really my reading week is it? haha, give me strength to get through this year...

peace X