I'm sorry, and thank you.
TLDR; I will be discontinuing my current works. Longer explanation under the cut.
Hello.
I have been dreading making this post for a long time.
Truthfully, I have been trying and failing to write for some time. I can't begin to tell you the absolute despair it is to open a document, eager to dive back in, and then have your mind go blank.
I think that I have, unfortunately, made it harder on myself than it ever should be. I feel this intense pressure to complete these works, and, ironically it makes me lose focus. Writing these fics has long since stopped being fun and just become 'I have to finish this because everyone is waiting for me to'. It has also poisoned all of my personal projects. Every time I open something that isn't on my AO3, I think "I could be using this time to work on my published works. Everyone is wondering when I will update".
That feeling really sucks. I've stopped writing almost entirely, and it has really worn on me. Writing has been so precious to me as a disabled person. It has been my way of leaving my home when I cannot do so physically. Not being able to for weeks at a time has really weighed on me.
I think that a big part of my problem is that I put myself in this situation by presenting stories that didn't have a solid plan behind them. Before publishing my first DCA fic, Glimpse of Us, I wrote 13 drafts of fics that never saw the light of day.
This is just my project style. I find it easiest to flit between stories, trying new angles and concepts until something 'clicks'. DLNS was a work with a direction. Things started to go downhill when I began publishing Star Holder, a story with no plan that blew up too fast and really, really overwhelmed me. I never expected to get so many eyes on my works. I always thought I'd just be writing for maybe 30 weirdos like myself.
The truth is, I have completely lost my motivation to finish DLNS: Prehistoric Paradise, Below The Surface, or Help! I'm Trapped in a Fanfiction. I am not even sure if I will finish Unclip My Wings, although it is my sincerest wish to try. When I'm ready.
All of this to say: I'm sorry. I feel like I'm letting everyone down, but I can't even plan the next paragraph. I've opened my drafts, I've reread them, I've banged my head against the keyboard. It's just not working.
I think from this point forward, it's safe to consider my hiatus as permanent. I want to write again. And I have no doubt I will. But for right now, I just need to shed my current projects and guve myself room to breathe. This is no one's fault, and I sincerely hope you can understand where I'm coming from.
Finally, I wanted to say: Thank you. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for sticking with me. For reading my stories and loving them. For every piece of fanart, every question and comment. I have adored interacting with the DCA community so much, and I have found so many incredible friends. If you have questions about how a story might have ended or characters found within, I would be happy to answer them when I come back.
For now, stay weird, and stay safe out there. I wish you all the very best.
