#peddled muffins

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#18 lewds

Yang was sure there were hundreds of ways people would describe Weiss Schnee. Beautiful (of course), icy (too obvious), rigid (wholly untrue). However, Yang was proud to be one of the only ones who could describe this woman as an utterly sexual being. 

As evidenced by the way her lips parted easily when Yang traced her mouth with her thumb. Her baby blues neatly eclipsed by her pupils, Weiss maintained eye contact with Yang as she kissed the tip of her thumb before greeting it with her tongue. Yang shuddered when she sucked it into her mouth. 

“God, you’re lewd,” Yang groaned as she shifted her hips to push those beautiful lithe legs open. She pressed her thumb against Weiss’s tongue and tilted her head back to expose the delicate pale column of her neck so that she could kiss and suck her way down. 

She could feel Weiss grinding against her abs and she pressed down against her even harder. Weiss gasped when Yang slipped her thumb from her mouth so that she could use both her hands to grab at her thighs, hips, and buttocks. Weiss eagerly wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled her up to her mouth and they kissed like it was the end of the world. Weiss licked her way into Yang’s mouth in a way that made her head spin and drop most of her weight on Weiss. And when Weiss bit her bottom lip and pulled demandingly, Yang got the message. 

The blonde slipped her hand between them and through the glistening ocean between Weiss’ thighs that had left a proud patch of wetness against Yang’s abs. She ran her fingers up and down the slit, reveling in the effect she had on the other woman. 

“Yang,” Weiss moaned through clenched teeth. Yang loved how impatient she could get. Weiss obviously did not appreciate the smug grin lighting up her face at that moment, judging by the way she took matters into her own hands. The smug look was replaced with surprise when Weiss placed her hand over Yang’s and guided her fingers inside her damn self. 

With Yang’s fingers buried up to the knuckle, legs wrapped tightly around her waist, and Weiss exposing her neck to her as she threw her head back with a needy sound escaping her lips, Yang had no idea why she was stalling. With a groan of hunger, she collapsed into Weiss, burying her face into that amazing neck and driving her fingers forward. 

Weiss was so open and accepting, taking her with no trouble at all that Yang slipped in another finger and curled them against her walls. The chorus of appreciative noises spilling freely from Weiss’s throat was simply electric, driving Yang to increase her speed. Her voice was already gorgeous enough, and to have it sing her name was a monument of accomplishment in Yang’s life. 

The frantic writhing of her hips was somehow demanding even more. Yang’s other hand had to find purchase on the edge of the mattress to brace herself to slam her hips into her hand, her back slick with the effort. Weiss’s legs fell open somehow wider for Yang, her own hand reaching into her white curls to rub at her swollen clit. 

“Fuck.” Yang couldn’t begin to describe how utterly sexy Weiss was, with her white hair splayed around her head and her mouth hanging open to moan her name, and the sweat and the flush coloring her face and chest. By the sporadic twitching of her abdomen, she was close. Yang focused her strength into deep, precise strokes of her fingers, grinding her hips until Weiss went from loud to quiet. Her mouth was open in a silent scream when she came. Yang made sure it lasted, kissing her way over her chest and lightly sucking on her pretty nipples. 

Weiss running her fingers languidly through her hair signaled Yang that she was done. Basking in postorgasmic bliss, they kissed deeply and slowly. The primal thing inside Yang stretched and preened at how relaxed and satisfied Weiss clearly was. 

Her voice was hoarse and so fucking sexy when she pressed her lips to Yang’s ear. Her eyebrows shot up when Weiss said, “Go get the box.” Sometimes Yang was still surprised by how much of a sexual being Weiss could be. 

[smxmuffinpeddling]

#5 seduction

Bow and Glimmer were just hanging out in her spacious room, generally minding their own business and feeling rather proud of themselves. They had just delivered a round of ‘Best Friend Squad’ advice to Adora, and it was probably their best advice to date. “She’s grown up so fast,” Glimmer had said wistfully as Adora skipped out the door, bolstered by a group hug. Now, they simply had to wait for the fruit of their labor to come to fruition, blossoming long-awaited love right before their very eyes-

The door slammed open so hard Bow screamed and Glimmer fell off her ceiling bed. 

“Guys,” Adora wheezed as she stormed in, looking more winded and panicked than usual. “She’s DEAD.” 

“WHAT?” Bow’s voice went higher as he matched the panicked state of his friend. “Who is dead, Adora?!” 

“CATRA!” Adora grabbed at her hair poof, stricken. “One minute I was following your advice and then the next, she’s DEAD--”

“Hold the fuck up!!” Glimmer intervened, waving her hands to prevent any more damage from happening. “You can’t commit murder! My mom would KILL me!” 

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Bow said in disbelief as Adora took to pacing about the room, laughing to herself while muttering “this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening, its all Mara’s fault-” 

“What? Catra probably had it coming!” 

“NOBODY HAS THAT COMING, GLIMMER,” Bow snapped so hard his voice chipped into a million pieces. 

“OH MY god, I actually killed Catra!” Adora shouted into the curtains across the room. 

“Stop saying that, Adora! We can’t let anyone know you murdered Catra!” Glimmer glimmered Adora up onto her bed. “Don’t move!”

“And where are you going?” Bow asked once Glimmer teleported back down. 

“Where do you think?!” she snapped back at him before poofing into glitter. A second later she reappeared wielding a rolled-up rug twice her height. “WE’RE GOING TO HIDE A BODY!”

“NO! NOnononono, I am NOT hiding a dead body today,” Bow tried to take the rolled-up rug away from Glimmer. However, the small Princess was much stronger than she looked, resulting in a heated tug of war. 

“Why won’t you get rid of a dead body for your best friend, Bow?!” Glimmer accused as she manhandled the rug away from the archer. 

“I’m trying to think rationally here! Where would you even hide a dead body, Glimmer?!”

“Well, OBVIOUSLY in a spare room, where else would I hide a dead body?!” 

Their shouting match nearly drowned out the sniffles of their third party member above them. Hearing it, they went from fiery panic to somber guilt in an instant. 

“Maybe we should take stock of the situation first?” Bow offered quietly. 

“Yeah,” Glimmer agreed with an accepting sigh. Just for good measure, she gave one last tug to the rug, but Bow held fast and shot her a warning look. “Ugh, okay okay! Talking first, hiding the dead body later,” she relented. 

A second later they were both up in Glimmer’s bed overlooking the room and their clearly broken up friend huddled in the sheets. 

“Oh, Adora,” Glimmer took pity on her, pulling the blonde into a hug. Adora melted into the smaller girl’s warm embrace, pitiful tears escaping her eyes. 

“Idunnowhathappeneditwasllsocrazy,” Adora’s mumbles somehow strung together a sentence.

“Tell us what happened, Adora,” Bow encouraged in his best supportive friend voice.

It took a few minutes for Adora’s sniveling to calm down enough to understand what she was saying. 

“W-well, earlier, I was trying out those lines you made me rehearse…” 

-Earlier-

Adora squinted at the writing she had scribbled onto her palm before speaking in her most confident voice. “Catra, would you like to accompany me to the, Cineighma, tonight? It would be most, auspiciooious.” 

“What? What the fuck language are you even speaking, Adora?” Catra stomped down Adora’s attempt at being charming so fast, the blonde was left stumbling on her own feet. 

“Er, uh, what I’m trying to say, that is,” Adora was deflating faster than a popped balloon. 

“Whatever, check out this weird thing I found in my room.” Catra dismissed whatever Adora was saying to pull her over to her bed. 

“That? Oh, that’s a cushion,” Adora enunciated, proud that she was now the one who knew what a thing was called. 

“Is it like a pillow?” 

“Sort of? Except there’s extra of them.”

“Why?” Catra questioned, tilting her head in annoyed confusion. 

“Uhh… Well, because..? I have no idea,” Adora deadpanned, glaring at the offending mystery cushion as well. 

“I wanna tear it to pieces,” Catra announced, unsheathing her claws. 

“Please don’t.” 

-Present-

“And then you killed her?” Glimmer said in understanding. Bow cleared his throat and communicated his thoughts that Glimmer should reign it in through his facial expressions alone.

“She wanted to destroy a cushion, Bow! What sort of monster would do that?” She stroked Adora’s head in comfort and whispered: “You did the right thing.”  

Bow groaned. “Then what actually happened, Adora?” 

Adora wiped a trail of snot from her nose. “And then Catra said ‘Shut up idiot if you wanna hit this tail then hit it you coward’ and I was like ‘kay’ because I’m NOT a coward, and then--” 

“WhoaWhoaWHOA, time out!” Bow held up his hands in surrender. “Do we really need to know this part?” 

“Oh, that little hussy!” Glimmer growled, holding innocent Adora closer to herself. “We put so much work into teaching you the art of seduction only for it to be that easy? I can’t believe I actually put thought into my advice!”

“Your advice was ‘waterfall and chill’,” Bow muttered into his palm, which was currently buried in his face. 

“Oh, like yours was any better?”

“I told her to be herself!”

“That never actually works, Bow!” 

“Is that really your take away from this story? Really?”

“My take away from this story is that Adora killed a woman by banging her brains out, BOW!” Adora’s sniffling turned into a full-blown wail, startling the bickering pair. “Not that it’s your fault, she obviously couldn’t handle you!” Glimmer was quick to console. 

“Oh my god, could you please just SHHshedhssheSHHSh!” Bow was about ready to strangle himself with his own crop top. “What actually freaking happened, Adora?!” 

“I hit it!” Adora cried. 

“What?” 

“I turned into She-Ra and I hit her tail!” At this point, an entire waterfall was gushing out of Adora’s face. “She went all-” Adora made a noise like a high-pitched gorilla grunt, “- and now she’s DEAD.” 

“HOW THOUGH?” Bow screeched. 

“Don’t stress her out, Bow! We need to hurry up and get rid of the body!!” 

“I can’t even BELIEVE-- hhhhh- hrnfineFINE, which spare room are we using?”

Outside the door and listening to this entire conversation, Catra wished she actually was dead.

[smxmuffinpeddling]

#15 Angst

Despite everything, Seju was nothing if not a hopeful person. Hopeful that one of these days she could get through doing an act of physical intimacy without having a breakdown. 

Do Won ever so gently pulled the arm she had braced over her own face to hide her tears. “It’s okay,” she murmured comfort against her neck, pressing a reassuring kiss to Seju’s overheated skin. Her hands pulled Seju’s nightshirt back down over her breasts to cover her up. 

“You can keep going, I’m fine,” Seju sounded so convincing even as her eyes continued to leak beyond her control. 

Do Won, with her quiet strength and perception, simply pulled Seju gently into her lithe arms and held her without expectation. “I’ll wait until you’re okay.” 

Seju didn’t know if she would ever truly be okay, but she was hopeful that Do Won had the patience to find out.

[smxmuffinpeddling]

#23 “please”

Harumi was no saint. Though sometimes she wondered if she was just based on her years of self-restraint alone. Just your friendly neighborhood best friend, Harumin! 

“Please,please,please-”

She wasn’t feeling very saintly right at this moment, not when her best friend was begging her to fuck her-

“Please, Harumin, please-”

Nothing friendly about the way Harumi was pushing aside Yuzu’s underwear in her haste to fulfill the request, sinking her fingers into her wonderfully molten center. Harumi moaned in relief, breathless. She was probably more excited than Yuzu herself, keyed up from years of holding back, no more, no more-

Fingers clutched at her shoulders, shuddering breath in her ear. “Harumin,” Yuzu breathed like she was saying her name for the first time. Like having Harumi’s fingers buried in her cunt was the catalyst Yuzu needed to realize that her best friend loved her more than a friend. 

There was a moment of stillness as they both caught their breath and waited. Harumi waited for Yuzu to make her stop. And she would. Christ, she would-  

But then Yuzu was pulling her closer- closer!

The darker, not so friendly side of Harumi was overcome with the heady feeling of validation. She could’ve cried-

But she had a certain request to fulfill. 

[smxmuffinpeddling]

#13 leathers

‘Try it on!’ she’d said. 

‘Just for fun!’ she’d said. 

‘Past Yuzu is a freaking idiot!’ Present Yuzu was thinking right about now because Future Yuzu was going to be in big trouble. 

“So what do you think?” Harumi asked, striking a sexy pose in none other than Mitsuko’s leather biker suit. “It fits better than I thought it would!” Indeed, the shiny material was clinging to her every curve and highlighting her prominent assets. 

Yuzu internally screamed thanks to the heavens and externally licked her lips in a quite distracted manner. “Y-Yeah, it looks pretty girl-- pRETTY GOOD. GOOD, pretty good. Is it hot in here?” she stammered, pulling on her collar as she stared at Harumin’s collar. 

“It is a little hot.” Harumi pulled down the zipped of the leather suit all the way down to her navel, and this time a strangled noise did escape Yuzu’s throat. “You know, wearing this makes me want to ride something!”

Yuzu nodded like a wild bobble-headed doll. She could definitely think of something Harumi could be riding. 

“I could think of something I could be riding right now.”

Yuzu wondered why Harumi was reading straight out of her brain but was distracted by the kill bill siren going off in her head when Harumi started to climb into her lap and her brain imploded.

[smxmuffinpeddling]

#27 teaching each other to do something

The Butterfly Stroke- in which the body swims by undulating the body in a wave-like motion, the hips and chest alternating moving up and down the while the arms stroke symmetrically to trace an hourglass figure underwater before leaving the water at the hips to circle forward again, followed by a dolphin kick. 

Seju had taken a cursory interest in swimming the more she watched Do Won swim in the hotel pool when she wasn’t working. Only because there was so little to capture her interest these days due to her dull weeks spent in hiding. Though it was hard to not be fascinated by Do Won’s toned body cutting that pattern through the water like a hot knife through butter. And when she reached the other side, throwing her head back and taking that well-earned gasp of air as the water cascaded down her tanned skin, glinting off those abs… 

The sight of all this water was certainly making Seju thirsty. She sipped at her drink while liberally drinking in the sight of the caretaker pulling herself up out of the pool, shaking her locks out. She was currently sat at the side of the pool in the shade to protect her delicate complexion. She almost didn’t realize that Do Won was walking towards her until she was a few feet away, looming over her like the statue of a Greek goddess. 

“President,” the woman greeted Seju by her chosen title. 

“Caretaker,” Seju’s voice was much less formal than the one Do Won used, teasing even. “Enjoying the water?” 

“Doesn’t hurt to practice.” She placed her hands on her hips over her simple black shorts, and Seju wondered not for the first time how she would look like with all her clothes off. “Would you like to join me?” 

“As I’ve told you before. I don’t swim.” 

Do Won’s head tilted to the side. “I could teach you?” she offered freely. Much like she offered everything else. 

Playing her cards closer to her ample chest, Seju fanned herself lightly while smirking up at the caretaker. “It's not like I don’t know a few things. The breaststroke, for example,” she said while deliberately dragging her eyes down Do Won’s figure. 

“That's as good of a place to start as any.” Do Won remaining nonsusceptible to Seju’s poking, even as her eyes looked more knowing at the implication than she let on, only made Seju want to verbally prod at her more (and perhaps nonverbally too, if she allowed her curiosity access her imagination). 

“I’m fine with watching,” Seju reasserted, her thoughts summoning a tinge of guilt that she couldn’t seem to shake. 

“Okay.” Do Won didn’t push Seju, ever the patient one. But she did sigh, looking like a disappointed puppy that had been shooed away. 

The look tugged unbidden at Seju’s conscious, and it was her turn to sigh. She couldn’t stand letting down people she actually had a soft spot for (and her soft spot was growing for the tall dark and handsome caretaker, whether she wanted it to or not.)

“On second thought, I do need the exercise,” Seju conceded with some reluctance as she got to her feet. Do Won brightened noticeably at her words, and Seju couldn’t help the smile on her lips as she started unbuttoning her blouse. Do Won quickly looked away, and Seju knew she was going to enjoy this more than she thought she would.

[smxmuffinpeddling]

#12 pillow talk 

Phos shot up from the bed, a startled gasp ripped from their throat, their hands clawing and grasping at the sheets. Every breath was a fight, dragging the air in and out in shuddering breaths. The tears started to gather even if the details of the dream were fading. 

“Bad dream?” 

Phos’ heart ticked its last tock at that soft voice. Her lungs also stopped working when their eyes met. Cinnabar frowned at Phos’ wide-eyed dumbfounded stare. “What?” 

“Just wondering if I’m still dreaming,” Phos murmured. At the dangerous narrowing of their gaze, Phos’ arms reached up. “A good dream this time!” Phos reassured. “Or wait, or is it still a nightmare?’ they whispered to themselves, now further distressed. 

“Looks like you still have a fever,” Cinnabar observed. Before Phos realized it, a cool glass of water was in their hand and they were being pushed back onto the pillows. “Drink,” Cinnabar instructed. 

“Oh,” Phos felt flushed. “This is a good dream.” A flick to the forehead. “Ow.”  

“Shut up and take your medicine.”

Phos did just that, watching Cinnabar curiously all the while even if the other did their best to ignore Phos as they soaked a cloth in water. 

Phos hadn’t realized how hot their skin was until the touch of cool cloth against their skin sent a shock through them. A breath escaped from their lips along with some words. “Why are you here? What about your night shift?” 

Cinnabar paused at the question, sighing. “Isn’t it obvious why I stayed?” Cinnabar replied, voice low, color on their cheeks. 

“Nope,” Phos replied cluelessly. Cinnabar rolled their eyes and got to their feet to leave. 

“You need to sleep.” 

“Could you stay with me?” Phos blurted out. “Since I’m sick.” 

“You’re pushing your luck.” 

“Is it working?” Phos brought the sheet up to their nose to peek at the recluse. 

Cinnabar pushed a lock of red hair behind their ear, considering. “If it’ll help you sleep better…” they muttered.

“A victory,” Phos declared. 

“But we’re sleeping with pillows between us,” Cinnabar tacked on. Phos pouted at that. Filled with embarrassment, Cinnabar deflected as they started to gather pillows. “You know, you’re not nearly as cute as you used to be.”

Phos gasped audibly. “You thought I was cute?”

Cinnabar repressed the urge to groan at how pleased they looked. “Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Too late.” 

That time Cinnabar did groan as they climbed into bed. Facing away from that smug mug, obviously. They could feel it even through the wall of pillows between them. 

“Thank you, Shinsha,” Phos whispered, their gratefulness cutting through Cinnabar’s thoughts of how they weren’t used to sleeping with anyone. Cinnabar didn’t answer, afraid their voice would shake too much to sound indifferent. Not that they needed to since it was evident Phos had fallen asleep already since it was actually quiet. 

Cinnabar fought the urge to look at Phos’ sleeping face. Maybe removing one pillow wouldn’t be so bad? 

[smxmuffinpeddling]

#4 hot spring 

There were two things in life that brought the Widowmaker pleasure. The first being the thrill of the kill. The second would be a surprise for anyone who presumed to know her. A countess in her former life, a hot spring was a simple luxury. Stretched out and relaxed, she was every bit a languid, confident predator. Even in a state of rest, she was able to trap some prey. A smirk curved at her lips as she sensed a scurrying presence at the edge of her web. Sombra wasn’t nearly as subtle as she thought. 

Without giving up the comfort of her closed eyes, Widowmaker could practically sense the moment Sombra decided to announce her presence. 

“Is it even safe for you to be in here?” Sombra slipped into the warm water near her, cozying up just within arms reach. “Given your… special condition?” 

“I do not come here to contemplate the mysterious intricacies of this body of mine,” Widowmaker drawled.  

“Oh, but I do!” Widowmaker could guarantee that Sombra was wiggling her eyebrows at her, and didn’t deign that with a proper response. 

“Shouldn’t I ask that question of you? Given your ‘special condition’.” Widowmaker was, of course, referring to the spinal implants glowing up Sombra’s back. 

“Now who's contemplating the mysterious intricacies of this body of mine?” Sombra responded with a snicker.  

Another dangerous smirk. “There are worse things to contemplate.” She didn’t know if Sombra’s choking noise was provoked by her response, or by the third Talon operative entering the hot spring. 

“Christ, Gabe, nobody wants to see eso huevos, pendejo!” Sombra complained loudly as a dark presence dipped their toe delicately in the water. 

“Shut it, Sombra,” Reaper growled. He sank into the water with a curious hissing sound from his smoky body. One would think the water would extinguish him, but he seemed just as grateful for the embrace of the heat as Widowmaker was. 

“Okay, he’s definitely the one with the most ‘special condition’ here,” Sombra pointed out. “How are we not all dead right now?” 

“Shhh,” Widowmaker lulled her prey to relax with her sweet voice and a tug to her wrist to bring her closer. “You talk too much.” 

No one wanted to comment on the bright yellow rubber ducky Gabriel had brought with him.