his voice is the first thing you feel—low, rumbling, warm against your shoulder before you’re even fully awake.
“come back here…” he murmurs, eyes still closed, arms searching blindly until he finds your waist and drags you closer with a small, sleepy groan. he buries his face in your neck like he’s trying to climb into your skin, breath fanning over your collarbone.
“you left,” he complains, voice so deep it vibrates through you.
“pedro, I moved like… two centimeters.”
“too far,” he mumbles, nuzzling even closer.
his curls are a soft mess, falling over his forehead, warm from sleep. you slide your fingers into them without thinking, brushing gently, and he melts instantly—literally melts. his whole body softens, a shiver running down his spine.
“mmh… don’t stop,” he breathes, words heavy with sleep, like honey dripping from his tongue.
you keep playing with his hair, nails lightly scratching his scalp, and he lets out this tiny sound—half sigh, half whine—that makes your heart flip.
he tips his head back just enough to look at you, lids heavy, lashes messy, mouth soft. “you’re gonna kill me,” he says, barely audible.
“how?” you whisper, smiling.
“being this… this warm,” he slurs. “this soft with me. I can’t handle it.”
he pulls you fully on top of him, guiding your thigh over his hip, keeping one hand on your lower back, the other sliding up your arm like he needs to feel every inch of you. he presses little, lazy kisses on your jaw, each one slower than the last, like he can barely keep himself awake.
you brush your fingers through his hair again and he moans—quiet, breathy, absolutely helpless.
“that good?” you tease.
his eyes fall shut again, head tipping into your hand. “you have no idea,” he whispers, voice thick and gravelly. “touch me like this forever.”
he’s so needy it’s almost ridiculous—nuzzling your chest, curling his fingers into your shirt like he’s afraid you’ll disappear, holding you tighter every time you shift.
“stay,” he begs softly, barely conscious. “just… stay with me a little longer.”
“i’m not going anywhere,” you promise.
he hums—content, small, safe—and pulls the blanket higher around you both before tugging you into his chest like you're the only place he can fall asleep.
“good,” he whispers, almost dreaming. “i sleep better when you’re touching me.”
you kiss his hair. he smiles against your skin.
and then, still half-asleep, he adds, “i love it when you play with my hair… makes me feel yours.”
note — i've been loving 'submarine' by 'the marias' recently which this is heavily inspired by so go give it a listen 🤍 short little fic hope you like !! likes, reblog's and comments are always appreciated 🤍
Liked by user1, imsebastianstan and 2,510,944 others
yourinstagram recently 🤍
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user1 the face card is platinum
user2 no pedro pic or like??
user3 studio picture?? are we back?!?!??
user4 wait why is seb in the likes??
->user5 im wondering the same...
->user6 could be a music vid thing or he's just a fan 🤷♀️
user7 the puppies are so cute
user8 wheres pedro?? 😥
user9 so cute!!
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enews Separation rumors intensify after Y/n L/n was spotted on a flight from Los Angeles to New York after Pedro Pascal was seen arriving in Los Angeles.
The pair who've been dating for 3 years haven't been spotted together for over a month after rumors of L/n wanting to buy a house together, they've been absent from each others social media posts as well as likes.
Do you think they've called it quits?
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user1 this would be catastrophic please no
user2 leaving the state when he got there is crazy
user3 this would be worse than when my real parents got divorced
user4 i always thought the age difference was weird anyone else?
->user5 no. she's a 30+ year old woman, they are gown adults be normal 👍
user6 relationship drama while traveling for a press tour is wild
user7 i hope whatever it is they work it out
user8 i hope not, they talk about each other with so much love 😕
user9 i fear the rumors may be right..
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Liked by user1, imsebastianstan and 6,810,944 others
yourinstagram My EP 'Submarine" out May 23rd, i've been working on this for a few weeks... didn't really plan on making anything but sometimes music just spills out. I hope you all enjoy it 🤍
tracklist for you all 😚 echo, real life, love you anyway, if only, blur, sienna, no one noticed
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user1 YESSSSS THE QUEEN IS BACK
user2 im so excited but so nervous
oliviarodrigo IM SAT! liked by yourinstagram !
user3 the visuals are so good I CANTTT
user4 'love you anyway' is scaring me
billieeilish this is all that matters now liked by yourinstagram !
user5 I CANT WAIT I NEED IT NOW
user6 'sienna' if my intuition is right im gonna cry 💔
user7 THIS COVER 10/10
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YnLnNews Y/n goes into depth on the process of writing 'Submarine' and the meaning behind each song in a recent interview with Zane Lowe.
echo, is about knowing that the relationship should end, due to a number of reasons, but it's also hard to let go despite its flaws. And also acknowledging that im being a little dramatic but we both let it get to the point were we're not trying to fight for each other.
real life, talks about a relationship that at a certain point mainly exists in the virtual world, through Facetime, but really yearning for that real-life connection. And the desire to move beyond the superficiality of online interactions and confront the challenges of reality.
love you anyway, is about being in love but not knowing how to verbalized how much i love this person and being so in love that i when they have doubts or are unsure about the relationship i can't tell them how to feel because i love them, i have no doubts about that and that's what's important .
if only, even in dreams im longing for this person, im dreaming of them still there. Im questioning why I even left when I didn't want to, I don't want to let go of this but I know that if we aren't together they'll move on and i'll still dream of them.
blur, is about the feeling of nostalgia and longing for someone from the past. The regret and a desire to reconnect with a person, while also highlighting the internal struggle of wanting to move on but still feeling attached to memories.
sienna, this was written from the standpoint of a broken relationship and of what could have been: We could have had a child together and named her Sienna, and she would have looked like you… Sienna would have acted like you, she would have jumped in the pool just like you, and she would have sang to all her pets like I do… she would have done all these things like us. But because we broke up, Sienna will never exist. And so at the very end where I sing, “See her face in the forest, then it disappears,” it’s like seeing the future you wanted just completely vanish out of nowhere.
no one noticed, is about being torn up and feeling unnoticed and kind of “unravelling” as im left feeling kinda bitter. But deep down despite feeling all these things i still desperately want them back.
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user1 this album is gonna be so painful
user2 they she talked about the song 'sienna' with so much love is heartbreaking 💔
user3 her past relationships have been shitty dudes so i think she left before she could get hurt but she ended getting hurt because she still loves him
->user4 THIS!! she's been through some shit and when they started dating people were so happy and i think that she was waiting for the other shoe to drop and this happened 😕
user5 her being emotional throughout this entire interview made me so sad
user6 sienna is going to RUIN me
user7 she has so much love for this album ☹
user8 excruciating album about to drop. can't wait to sob to this 🔥
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enews Pedro Pascal just mentioned his Ex Y/n L/n in an interview in Mexico. When asked 'You obviously don't have to answer this, but have you listened to Y/n L/n's new EP?' he replied very somberly "Yeah, I have it was incredible. Not surprising when Y/n is the one writing and singing."
What do you think?
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user1 i would be surprised if he hadn't listened to it considering it's about him lol..
user2 weird to ask that knowing they broke up but his answer was sweet
user3 all this "split" talk is pr for her album..
->user4 she's going trough it on her album and this it's all just pr...? how dumb do you gotta be
user5 him still complmenting her even though they split
user6 not the point but they are so hot
user7 he listened to it which means there's a chance 🤞
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Liked by pascalispunk, imsebastianstan and 2,510,944 others
yourinstagram thank you snl for having me!! got to perform 'no one noticed' and 'sienna' live for the first time and i couldn't have asked for a better stage to perform on 🤍
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user1 you KILLED it on rewatch
user2 i would like to ask to never get emotional again while performing because i was having a great night and then sienna happened...
user3 so how was the car ride with pedro... 👀
user4 girl sienna was so beautiful im even more in love with that song
user5 pedro in the likes, girl who's going to be okay
user6 need you hear the live versions of every song now please 🙏
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Liked by pascalispunk, imsebastianstan and 2,510,944 others
yourinstagram love you always 🤍
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user1 the only post that matters
user2 face card crazy but the pedro pic my heart 😭
imsebastianstan happy for you 2
->user3 lol he's just a fan
->user4 not him rooting for them 🤭
user5 im so normal about this i promise
user6 'love you anyway' to 'love you always' y'all hear me crying
user7 PARENTS GOT BACK TOGETHER!!
user8 this is so important to me 😭💔
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✎…… half asleep posting this so if there are any mistakes lets ignore them...
but i love these two!! hopefully we get a picture of them together this award season 🤞
❪ 𝖶𝖧𝒾𝖲𝖯𝖤𝖱𝖲 ❫ babysiting oscar isaac's child with pedro pascal, leads to a couple of mishaps ─⠀ fluff
꒰ 🧾 ꒱ when life give you tangerines , 9th member of girls generation
⸝⸝ ◜◡◝ i just imagine pedro being the fun uncle + based on a tiktok i forgot to like it but if you found it , its based by that
The house had settled into that sweet, heavy quiet, the kind that only comes after a storm of baby giggles, tiny tantrums, and runaway sippy cups. Oscar asked the two to take care of their sweet baby boy ─Eugene, as he and his wife, Elvira would take a four day escape in Maldives.
It wasn’t that the two of them didn’t love Eugene—they did—but they had to admit, there was a bittersweet sting to the thought of spending four days in the same house as a one-year-old and they wanted to go to Maldives with the couple. And that sting was layered with the knowledge that they wouldn’t be able to escape the diapers, the flying food, the midnight feedings, and the inevitable burping messes.
Pedro’s eyes softened, and he exchanged a knowing glance with Amari. “It’s like sending a piece of our hearts away,” he murmured. Oscar, seeing their hesitation, just chuckled and ruffled Pedro’s hair. “You guys got this. He’s a good boy, promise.”
Pedro shot him a dramatic, pleading look, his eyes wide like a puppy who’d been left out in the rain. “I know he’s a good boy... but the kid is like a tiny human tornado. He gets it from you,” Pedro grumbled, his voice half-joking, half-serious.
Amari laughed softly, shaking her head, but she knew they were in for a wild ride. “We’ll survive,” she assured Oscar, her smile gentle. “You deserve it." She smiled as she glanced at Elvira's knowing look of guidance and nervousness, "Just—please don’t forget to text us every hour or something. I might need a sanity check.” Amari laughed at her and hugged her to soothe her with ease.
In that moment, the gravity of the task mingled with humor, creating an atmosphere of shared responsibility and gentle teasing. As the couple instructed many things like, don't forget to place the toys after they were played or take the trash everyday. Pedro wrapped an arm around Amari’s shoulder as they watched Oscar and Elvira disappear down the hallway, their departure marked by the soft clack of shoes against the wooden floor.
The pair settled into the new rhythm with a promise to keep Eugene safe and loved—a soft, playful pact. And even as they braced themselves for the challenges ahead, they couldn’t help but smile at the unexpected gift of time: time to explore each other’s company in the peaceful silence of a house that, even for a few days, belonged entirely to them.
And with that, the two were off, leaving Pedro and Amari standing in the doorway with Eugene, now tugging at Pedro’s shirt as if trying to drag him toward the living room. “Alright, little man,” Pedro said, settling Eugene on his hip. “Guess it’s just you and me now.” Amari glanced at Pedro, her lips curving into a playful smile. “I’m starting to think I was the third wheel in all this, huh? You two look pretty cozy already.” Pedro laughed as he rocked eugene, him and his quirky dances.
“Great,” Amari sighed, but she couldn’t help but laugh. “Guess the real babysitting has begun.” Oh how wrong she was with those four days of suffering (joy).
The house had settled into that sweet, heavy quiet, the kind that only comes after a storm of baby giggles, tiny tantrums, and runaway sippy cups. Pedro was sprawled across the couch, one arm thrown lazily over the backrest. Amari curled beside him, a soft blanket tangled around her legs, her head tucked neatly into the space just under his collarbone like a bird finally at rest.
The baby—finally full after a heroic battle involving mashed bananas and half a tub of yogurt—was waddling sleepily across the carpet, tiny fists rubbing his eyes.
Pedro chuckled under his breath, brushing a hand gently through Amari's hair. "You’re dangerous, you know that?" he murmured, voice low and syrupy, vibrating against her ear. "Feeding him, singing to him... I think you just stole his heart." She smiled as her fingers lazily draw circles, playing with the hem of his shirt, "Takes one to know one, oppa," she whispered, teasing.
Pedro tipped his head back against the couch, a soft, rumbling laugh spilling from his throat. His other hand reached for the baby, guiding him into his lap effortlessly. The little one collapsed against him like a drunk sailor, safe in the fortress of Pedro’s arms.
For a moment, Amari just watched—heart aching sweetly at the sight. Pedro, his dark curls messy, his smile softened into something golden and unguarded. The baby breathing deep against his chest. A slice of forever tucked into an ordinary night. But then—a low, subtle ache bloomed in her stomach, quiet but persistent. Hunger, threading itself through her senses. She hadn't eaten since early afternoon, too swept up in bottles, bath times, and tiny socks scattered across the floor.
The thought of food made her almost giddy with longing, but she swallowed it down with a small, guilty breath. She didn’t want to disturb the softness of the moment, the gentle miracle of it, Pedro warm beside her and Eugene breathing in even, delicate puffs.
Instead, she leaned into him for one last second, memorizing the way his chest rose and fell, the faint scent of him — baby milk, baby soap and something uniquely Pedro.
Pedro hummed low in his throat, not quite awake but feeling the loss of her warmth as she untangled herself slowly, like pulling free from a dream. She smiled faintly, standing up and padding quietly down the hallway.
Her footsteps were soft as secrets on the hardwood floor, the ache of hunger growing, but she said nothing. As she glanced at pedro still rocking little eugene to sleep she went to the counter where she placed — lotte cheetos as she grabbed it b her fingers slowly, lifting it and tucking in her waist. It was easier to slip away quietly, to pretend that everything she needed was as simple as stepping into another room.
꒰ ྀི ᥩ few minutes later
Finally, peace. Finally, her long-awaited Cheetos.
She placed her phone carefully against the white cabinets of the small pantry, the smell of leftover food and sweet spices lifting into the air, cradling her in a quiet kind of joy. Her figure, still wrapped in the cozy nighttime air, was bathed in the low kitchen light, all soft edges and sleepy laughter.
She hit record without thinking, planning to send the video later to Elvira—just a secret between girls.
With a sigh almost reverent, she opened the bag of junk food. Her hand, pinkie raised like a quiet crown, raced upward. The crinkling of the plastic was thunderous in the small space. The scent hit her first—cheese dust and pure happiness.
She popped the first Cheeto into her mouth, biting down with a dramatic crunch that echoed off the pantry walls. Bliss, pure bliss as she closed her eyes and leaned near the wall, but just as she was reaching for a second piece—
The door creaked.
The door just creaked.
Her eyes widened, as she was in mid bite glancing at her side was Pedro—hair a mess, socks dragging on the tile floor, looking like he had just survived a war. His eyes locked onto the bag in her hand, wild and wounded. Not that he is helping in his hand was a pair of a large pizza slice he stole from the counter.
A heartbeat passed. Then two.
And without a word, the two laughed uncontrollably, bumping into each other with such clumsy force that it sent them spiraling into another fit of breathless giggles, their shoulders colliding, hands scrambling for balance. Trying—desperately trying—to muffle the sounds, both of them pressed their palms against their mouths, bodies folding in half from the effort.
"You’re unbelievable," Pedro wheezed, wiping tears from his eyes—but his hand was already buried deep in the bag, fishing out another Cheeto with that same desperate, childlike glee. Amari elbowed him gently, breath hitching, laughter bursting in soft little puffs through her fingers as she fought for air. She clutched her side, trying not to collapse entirely.
"Close the door, close the door," she whispered, sharp and giggling, jabbing him with her knee as he just stood there uselessly, grinning like an idiot.
Pedro, still half-wheezing with laughter, flailed backwards and slammed the pantry door shut with his foot. But as his foot slammed accidently.... created a loud thud, waking the child.
unfortunately, it didn't save the peace.
Both of them froze, eyes wide, mouth agape.
A tiny wail echoed outside as amari hit his shoulder with her palm, "You woke him up, go there" as amari whispered at pedro, smacking Pedro's chest with the back of her hand. Pushing him slightly at the door, as Pedro just looked at her, half-terrified but with an adoring grin on his face. “Babe, you slammed the door,” he hissed, voice cracking.
"I did not, give me the pizza. You gonna walk in there and soothe him" She said as she lunged at the pizza. Pedro snatched the slice higher over his head like a playground bully, grinning wickedly.
"You're taller, go," she hissed, jumping for it, her fingertips just grazing his torso. "You’re lighter, you're faster, go," he countered in a whisper-shout, side-stepping like they were in a clumsy waltz inside the cramped pantry.
Another wail. Louder now.
"Pedro!" Amari gasped, scrambling to catch the tumbling cereal box while trying not to slip on a rogue Cheeto. He looked at her in dismay, as he breathe and bracing himself like a soldier.
"Fine! Fine!" Pedro gasped, surrendering the slice into her hands dramatically, like a knight handing over his sword. "But if he asks for me, tell him I love him." Pedro gaze lovingly at the pizza as she pushed his face with her palm, "Just go!" She murmured at him while giggling.
As Pedro closed the door with a pained look, mouthing exaggerated curses to the heavens, Amari caught the soft click of it latching and turned, breathless.
Her phone was still recording.
The screen caught her in perfect imperfection — hair a little mussed, cheeks flushed from laughter, cradling the stolen slice like a war prize. She grinned, triumphant, the kind of grin that creased her eyes and made her look half her age.
Without missing a beat, she lifted the half-eaten pizza to her mouth and took a huge, unbothered bite, cheeks puffing as she munched happily.
After a while, she sent it to the couple who is still in maldives and a couple of pictures of their sweet baby boy eugene.
She didn't know that after this, Elvira just tag her on her instagram story and she and pedro would never live the day after this.
warnings: [NO OUTBREAK] divorce, parents fighting, death, grief, alcohol consumption, age gap (reader 24 joel 47), dbf!joel, soft!joel
authors notes: i have been wanting to write dbf!joel for so damn long it’s not even funny. this will probably be a shorter fic with longer chapters, but we will see 🤫🤫
word count: 4.6 k
Cerulean blue and baby orange.
The only colors that made sense since birth. The sky and the water mix together to make a picture, one will never escape the world. The beach, as that would be simplified down to, is simply a get away, a lifestyle.
Your dads boat, the only thing that mattered. The time you spent with your dad out on the water was the only thing that meant the whole world to you. You didn’t care about going to the movies or boys… you cared about spending time with your dad and learning. Knowledge made you feel good, you felt good being about to repeat what was put through your brain. You were in due time to go back to school again.
You were starting 7th grade this year and it was exciting, the middle of Junior High. It was time to start thinking about what you wanted for your future. Your parents didn’t push you too much, but they always put it in your head to start thinking about college. College.
That was years down the road, only the beach mattered. You would only be here for a couple more summers with your parents and then you would have to move away. Leave your baby brother James, leave and become a part of society.
You were fearful, but it wasn’t necessarily bad. You were precautious with what you wanted to do, but you were just a kid and that’s the only thing that mattered.
“Hey, bear. Can you hand your mom and I some more Dr Pepper, and pass me some more bait while you’re at it.” Your dad asks.
You fiddle around in your dads cooler, looking for his bait and getting your parents more soda. You had your journal open and you were studying little film of algae.
“What are you writing about bear cub?” Your mom asks. You hand your dad the soda’s and his bait, hugging him as you rub your little brother's cheek. Your mom was holding him, James was just a couple years old and he was recovering from a temper tantrum. You were always calm with him and tried to help him figure through his emotions.
Being a toddler was tough work, and you always helped your parents with James. Your little brother needed you.
He crawled out of your moms arms, “Sissy,” He tugs at your shirt,” Can I come look at the wawter wif you?”
You tickle his neck and he laughs, “Of course you can James .” You pick him up and set him into your lap, letting him pick up your pen and pencil. You tear out a piece of paper for him, balling it up and letting him throw. He chucks it into the body of water, breaking the algae.
“See James, look at the green and the world beneath you opened. More sunlight, all it took was for you to break it.”
“Wook at the pweety green sissy.” He repeats.
“I know it's so pretty, but you see the fishy? All the little rocks under?” He crawls and you hold him in place at the edge of the boat. He oggles beneath him and you remember how this was his first time getting to see aquatic life. You studied how he watched the earth below him, fastened how he worked.
On the other end of the boat, you could hear your mom and dad start to argue. This had been going on for a while, you didn’t think anything of it and we’re trying to show that you didn’t care. You had to be strong for James, you had to be strong for your parents.
“Jason, that restaurant is gonna kill us, you know that. We have to move from the beach.” Your mom tried to keep down.
“Bryn, no it’s not. We can make it this summer. I don’t know why you always keep this up, I told you I have it all figured out.”
“Jason, stop lying to me. I saw the reports, I saw it all and you’re lying straight to my face.”
“Stop, just stop-”
“Daddy, wook at the fish over here!” James tuts. Your parents flip turn to you, catching that you caught their whole conversation. You give a meek smile, and they try to lighten the mood but you knew this was more than that.
“Bryn, let's just have a good day with the kids, a good summer day.”
“Hello, earth to Bear.” Your dad waves his hand in front of your face. You saw an entrance sign to that lake you were on with your family so many years ago, taking you back to a time you never thought you’d relive again. “I’ve been trying to get your attention.” Your dad says.
“Sorry, just spaced out for a second, what were you trying to say?” You blink, the whole drive you were listening to your dad’s music, trying to fall asleep but you couldn’t.
“James is excited to see you, he misses you a lot.” You hadn’t gotten to see him since last summer, you were kept at college working on your Masters paper. Your last year of school had caught you whole, no time for anything.
James was so much older now, “I feel bad for missing last year, he still plays baseball right?”
“Yeah he’s so excited for you to come to summer games, and he wanted you to come to a team campfire on the beach.”
“I would love to.” You stare out on the road. You missed the beach, you missed the old town.
You had visited for a couple weeks each year during high school, but that was so long ago. Your parents had divorced when you were in middle school, and you were right when you were younger- things weren’t going well.
But the divorce was smooth, your parents remained friends, and you moved in with your mom, and your brother stayed with your dad. That part wasn’t ideal, but each parent was happy. You would always miss the other half of your family but that’s how things worked out in the split. During the last of high school you spent the holidays at the beach with your dad. Your mom came along and you were a family again. They did this for you, a special rarity you would remember for the rest of your life.
But then the start of University, and you never had time to leave so your family had to see you. Your dad and James would hole up near your college to celebrate the end of the year, and after that you’d have visit your mom, she was busy herself, but in a heartbeat you would go see her, even if you had to make the time.
You loved your mom, living with her. Her smile. Your mom was the reason why you were so prosperous in your youth, she pushed you enough, but she always showed you her love.
And on a quiet morning while you were studying, during this past year and your final months of college, you were in your shared apartment with your childhood best friend Lexie and you got the call that your mom died.
She died in the hospital due to a car crash. It was all so sudden, and you really didn’t believe the surgeon over the phone, but finally as you walked into the room, you saw your dead mother clothed and washed. Ready to be buried. James didn’t take it well, but you still had to be strong for him. The funeral was beautiful, with flowers and so many people from your childhood. It was a reunion and you realized how many people cared. A precious life celebrated with love and happiness.
The following days you stayed with your dad and James, not knowing where you belong, what to think, what to believe. All you had to do with them was be yourself, some version of normal.
During that time, that was when your dad asked you if you wanted to move to the beach after you graduated.
“It might be nice bear, you’d get to be with James more, and you wouldn’t have to worry about groceries or rent. You could stay with us as long as you’d like, that Lexie friend could come visit if she’d like. You could work with me, or not. I don’t mind.”
You thought about it, family. Some time to heal.
“I’d like that dad.” You hug.
You still weren’t sure if you had mourned enough, or had taken care of yourself enough but you had to finish college. You had to finish your degree, you had to push yourself. Your mom would have been proud.
Time and time again, Lexie tried to comfort you, and you appreciated it, but you had to be on your own for a while. You told her you were moving in with your dad, told her that she could come visit, and as Lexie would be, she was proud of you.
It was time to move on, it was time to forgive yourself.
And today was the day, leaving with your dad for the summer, or however long you needed to get back on your feet. Passing roads, old farms, signs associated with this beach drive. Finally reaching the little coastal town. The sun was setting, beautiful as could be.
“I don’t know if you remember but the town still does baby turtle ocean thing, it’s going on all summer and people can volunteer to help, if you’d like.”
“Could we- I’d like to go this weekend?”
“I wouldn’t mind that sweet pie, I’ll get James to come this weekend, I remember you both used to watch the turtles so long ago.”
You thought of James' little laugh, his baby toddler giggle looking at the turtles swimming into the water. His youth was so again, so precious to you.
“Over there they’re building a whole new shopping center. I talked to the mayor and he thought it would bring in more people.”
You chuckle, “I guess you beach hoodlums need more retail therapy I suppose.”
“I suppose.” He mumbles, “I miss you kiddo, so much has changed but I’m excited for you to see.”
“I am too, it’ll be a good summer.” That's all you wanted.
Your dad turns into the neighborhood, so many new houses, new cars that you’ve never seen.
“Do the smiths still live here? I remember James played with Isaac all the time.”
“Ah, they moved away a few years ago, the mom got a job more inland but I take James to go visit Isaac sometimes.”
You nod your head, “Anyone new in the neighborhood? Any women maybe?”
“Bear,” He eyes you. You had never seen your dad with another woman, or he had never even mentioned a woman, you weren’t worried but it was time.
“What? I mean there hasn’t been anyone since mom, you can’t rot away for years and not date, you’ll waste your old man potential.” You comment.
“Old man potential.” He repeats. “Nobody wants a crusty man that all he does is fish and run a beach restaurant.”
“Hey… I mean some women may dig that. Who knows.” You smirk, your dad was an acquired taste, your mom did divorce him.
“Yeah, but uh a few families moved in here and there,” He explains, “I don’t know if you remember, but some years ago my buddy from high school, Joel and his younger daughter Sarah moved in next to us. Sometimes his brother Tommy will come around, they’re nice.”
You remember that name.
“The millers?” Of course you remembered them. You babysat Sarah Miller, but you could have never forgotten her father.
“Yeah maybe, you might’ve met them when you were in undergrad.”
“I did, I babysat for Sarah and she helped me with my flash cards, she’s a good kid.” That must’ve been 5 years ago now, you spent so much time focusing on your fucking degree 5 years felt more like 40.
“She is, after that boy Isaac left James took a liking to Sarah.”
You gasp, “James likes a girl!”
Your dad pulls into the driveway, “Shh don’t tell him I told you.”
You imitate zipping your lips. You jump out the car, “Lets get my stuff out later I wanna go into the house.” It was getting dark so you just wanted to bring your backpack in with you.
“Pretty lights dad, so pretty with the water in the back.”
“James loves those, they weave all around to the back deck.” You scope out the outside of the house, it looked like no one was home so walking up the stairs was a hard time. Until you realized there was none.
“Hey uh dad, did you know these are-?”
“Oh! Yeah Joel and Tommy are fixing that, paying them to renovate a little around the house, they have their own contracting brand and I trust Joel with my life. I couldn’t resist.”
The garage opens and you race inside, excited to see James. Feverishly opening the door to the house, “Hey bear cub, wait up!”
Before you open the door you see your dad pull out his phone, and..
“Surprise!”
People everywhere in the kitchen and living room, not many that you recognized but people that must’ve known your dad and brother.
A Welcome Home sign was big and tied across the main wall above the fireplace, fairy lights strung everywhere. Balloons floating about, food in the corner of your eye. The whole house smelled of familiar sweet and savory. The salt musk of the beach lingering.
“You’re home!” James came sprinting to you, causing you to drop your bag. You drop to him squeezing him so hard, you hadn’t seen him really since the funeral.
“You’re so big now! You had to have grown half a foot.” You whisper into his ear, patting down his hair. You didn’t really care if people were watching, or noticing how you were with James, then again you didn’t know any of them, and this was now your home too.
“You saw me a few months ago, I haven’t changed at all.”
“I know, I know.” You kiss his cheek. “Big bad Freshman.” You let off your strong hold, standing up.
“Dad…I didn't know you were throwing a surprise party.” You speak under your breath.
“That’s the point kiddo, a nice welcome home surprise. I wanted you to get to meet some people in the town and neighborhood, but thank James, he decorated it all, took my card and got the food and decorations.”
You pin his head, holding him under your arm.
“This little sucker planned all this.” You chip, looking up at the lights, then to all the smiling people. . “It’s perfect.” You let go, “Thank you everyone, this means a lot you’re all here.” You call out to the group. This was the most people you’ve been around since the funeral, you weren’t worried, but just taken aback, “I was trapped in the car with this fisherman for hours.” You smile at your dad. Everyone laughs, “My little girls back in town, free drinks at the restaurant this weekend.” He throws his fist in the air, an eruption roar swallows the entire room.
“Well I’m not going anywhere, so I’d love to get to meet you all.” You offer, people breaking into conversation, some looking at you, and now the go ahead from James to get food.
“Bear, I have to show you the deck!” James tugs you by the shirt, shoving you away from the living room. You grab onto the sliding glass door, finding more people outside, did pops have to invite the whole damn town?
Taken aback at the scenery, the last sliver of sun spilling onto the oceanfront. Waves crashing onto shore further in the distance. A match made in heaven.
Fairy lights on stakes around the deck, a tiny fire in the middle of the sitting area, warm wood under your feet. None to cause splinters. Your dads fishing gear all propped up. It was the dream house for you three.
“Dad…” You blink, “This is beautiful, when did you get this fixed up? I remember almost putting my foot through the wood…” You pause. “And that dock up there, when did that get put in?”
“That was put out plus all of this shit was fixed because of the Mill-”
“Sarah!” James yells into the living room. You watch her run out to fist bump James, and then run to hug you. She had changed so much, barely able to recognize her.
“Look who we have here.” Two men, vaguely familiar, men that you not only remember because you baby sat one’s beautiful daughter, but these men you remember being very, admittedly attractive.
Dumbstruck filled your body, no words to think. The whole family was beautiful, not having to see them for years was like meeting a family of chiseled romans. Sarah was absolutely beautiful, how was she just a freshman?
Eyes lingering up to Tommy, he had drooping long hair now, but it suited his face. Casual style, he went to shake your dads hand.
Now the man behind Tommy, the man who you remembered, Joel.
Trying not to linger too much, stepping aside with your dad, Joel went up and crushed him with a hug. His eyes opened, looking behind at you. Smiling, not knowing exactly what to say, you observe.
Joel had salt and pepper hair, porn style mustache, and a miscellaneous beard. His jeans fitting tightly around his waist, his arms bulging out of his shirt. Looking around when they all walked in, it got quieter inside and out. You could tell, mostly the women, the older women seemed to follow out near the deck.
“Heard James was the party planner for the whole night, good job buddy.” Tommy praises.
Joel lets go of your dad, “Jason, you didn’t tell us she’d be coming home.” Cheerfully, he looks at you, up and down.
“Yeah she’s living here now, freshly out of college.” He smiles, pulling you in for a side hug.
Looking down trying to think of something, “Thank you guys for coming, honestly Sarah I didn’t know you and James were in the same grade.”
“Oh no we're not.” She slaps his side playfully, “I’m a year older and I get to taunt his freshman ass.”
That makes the whole group laugh, happy to see your brother at least have one friend into high school.
“Tell us again, what did you do in college? Your pops here went on and on about your graduation.” Tommy asks, taking a seat next to James and Sarah.
Finally squeaking up, “I uh… I have a Masters in Ocean engineering, minored in economics focusing on math.”
Joel nods his head, tutting almost in his way of approval, standing on the other side of you now.
“I remember your dad tellin us all about that a few years back, why the interest?” Joel looks at you again, but differently.
Thinking on it, there were so many instances. The beach, boat days with your dad. Just water and animals, the earth.
“Well I guess from a young age, I was fascinated with the science of water life. Making 97% of the world, so many animals we don’t know of and so many that are extinct. It’s honestly all observation and numbers.” You shrug.
“Observation and numbers…” Joel stares at you, not letting go of your eyes.
Back when you would babysit Sarah, Joel would linger in your head for weeks. Watching him and Tommy work in their open garage while you would study wasn’t made for the easy minded.
Growing up either you were never the type to date, too much going on in your life at everypoint and you were focused on school, your friends and family. Dating was in the depths of your mind. But whenever you were with your dad, you remembered that seeing Joel Miller would ignite flames in your body.
No boy your age could fill the void, you fucked around but nothing ever stayed stable. You strayed away from anything serious, because truly you didn’t want anything serious when you were in college.
Joel was older. He was a dad, stable and made a living for himself. Not knowing him deeply was a fault, but something inside you spoke that he was a good man, with no ill intent for this world. There was this coexisting natural instinct being around him, but you were still young. No way in hell would anything ever happen, but you’d like to think in your head he might have thought of you in some sort of way.
In this moment, the passion or even lust you felt for Joel back then flooded through your veins, shaking you whole of your life. Stripping you empty of any amount of pride you had from innocence.
“She’s smarter than her pops, that's for sure.” You grin at him, “You remember in college when you failed that math entrance exam and you had to go to a math class at the high school next door?” Joel teases, him and your dad take seats in rocking chairs, you stay standing.
“Hey we all weren’t gifted like this one and Bryn.” Your dad comments. Bryn.
“How is Bryn by the way?” Tommy asks.
Your head shoots to Tommy, confused.
“You didn’t tell him?” Your dad asks Joel, he shakes his head. James froze and you stayed still, you hadn’t really heard her name in a few weeks.
Joel exchanges between you and your dad, “I didn’t really think to tell him but…” Joel starts.
“Tell me what?” Tommy interjects.
Your dad looks at you, then at Tommy.
“Well uh Tommy you weren’t really around, but Bryn died because of a car crash a couple months ago.”
It’s silent, you adjust your weight to the opposite leg, praying this would pass, this awkwardness of people not knowing what to say. All eyes on you know. The shallow breath sinking in your left ear from Tommy.
“Well I had to get my passion from someone, right?” You stare not at your dad, but the water past him. The last thing you wanted to talk about was your mom.
Everyone agrees, clearing their throats. The simple shared awkwardness swallowing you whole.
“I’m gonna go grab my bags dad, I’ll be back in a little, ‘scuse me.” You turn, “James this really is beautiful.” Pardoning yourself from the little group, you weren't really going to go back to the car, the beach doc was where you were headed.
It was dark enough that no one could see you, and ‘a little’ would be the rest of the night. You loop off the deck, rushing in the shadows of the light so no one could see you. Tears slipping faster than before. You wait a few seconds, then you book it to the doc.
The stars never looked brighter, you made it to the end, and turning around, none of them were looking at you.
Relief flooded through you, no scene was caused and your exit wasn’t as embarrassing as you thought.
You sat at the edge, catching your breath. Today was the most talking, let alone thinking you’ve done in a while. You knew this was going to be hard, coming back to the place you lived at during your childhood, you knew that a part of your life was over and revisiting it with a dead parent living through you was going to fry your heart.
Was there ever a possible way of making out of this alive, ever truly able to live on a forget?
Not properly realizing, but the memory from earlier was your last decently happy one you had with your parents together. More things to be reminded that your mom was no longer with you. How long was her loss going to strip you of pain, eat you whole and never stop?
“Hey,” Immediately you swipe the snot and tears off of your face at the tone of voice, Joel. “Mind if I sit with you?”
Peering up, you nod at him, scooting over on the wood. He sat close, but still with space. He brought a couple beers with him.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to cause anything, I don’t want my dad to worry.”
“It’s okay, he wanted to check on you, but I thought it was better if someone else came out.” He shrugged.
“Want one?” He holds a beer out for you.
You nod yes, holding out for one.
You knock it open on the wood, taking a swig despite the horrible taste of your dads beer. You were next to Joel Miller.
It was better, with it being Joel. Instantly your body repositions, counting every breath you make. His scent lingered to you, knocking out your nose. He overpowered the sea, trying to place every note and detail about him.
You look back at the house and you could hesitantly see the whole female population looking your way.
“Looks like you’ve got some fans.” You scoff.
“What? Jealous?” He quirks his eyebrows at you.
He knows.
You look down smirking, trying to avoid his perfect fucking face. Another drink.
“I forgot to tell Tommy, he hasn’t been in town lately.”
“Don’t worry, he didn’t know, no ones fault.”
A few beats go by. The waves crashing for your silence.
“I get what it's like, death and grief.”
Slightly you turn to Joel, he’s looking out on the water.
“Sarah's mom died when she was born. I had to be a dad and mourn my wife at the same time.”
You wanted to say something, but you knew from first hand experience words don’t comfort anyone.
“Does it get any easier?” You whisper.
“It does, it’ll take a while but I promise it does.” He looks at you now. “Your dad and Tommy helped me through most of the stuff, but I had to figure out on my own what I wanted my life to look like.”
You blink, “And what if that never happens for me…what if I can’t do things on my own?”
“Don’t worry princess, it will. You’re bright you know? Better than this whole town.”
Your heart skips a beat. Laying down on the wood now, letting your feet dangle off the end, “I remember all those nights you would study, or you couldn’t come to dinner because you were nose deep in a book. That’s passion sweetheart.” He lays down beside you, staring at the stars.
His words were jumbling inside your head.
Your mom, him. Just moving back. He was so close to you now.
Whatever this was, you could almost feel it. Had it been brewing for so long?
But you were still young, and he was way older. It will always stay that way, and he’s your dad’s best friend, neighbor too. You can’t do this. You couldn’t mistake his kindness for comfort.
You close your eyes tight, forcing your tears to not be shown. You didn’t know what you wanted.
His hand brushed your cheek, swiping your tears away.
“It’s okay to cry, don’t close your eyes.” He whispers.
“First day back in town and I’m already crying, of all people being you.” Choking on your words
He scoots closer, his body warmth turning your insides.
Your breath coincides with his and the tears stop.
“I don’t think he would care.”
“Who?” He says.
“Jason.” You confirm.
With that, he brings your forehead to his lips, freezing as his hand wraps in your hair. He says nothing, watching him get up and walk away.
My second reading marathon is finished (for those who don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s the thing: I chose an author and read ALL of their published fanfics) and I have no words to describe how happy I am by choosing @mrpascals! She is a brilliant author, with a sweet sensibility for writing, besides, she’s Brazilian, just like me! #LatinAndProud ❤
If you want to read something well written and really sweet and sensible, I’m sure her fics will warm your heart. The way she writes Din Djarin, Javier Peña and Marcus Pike (Serendipity makes me wanna scream every time I think about it!) content are priceless! Even Ezra fics, which are not exactly my thing, I’ve read and it really positively surprised me!
The first time I chose fics to my list I got carried away and chose 13. This time I’ve tried the most to calm down and chose less this time (and it was hard, I wanted to put ALL of her content on my list), and they are all listed on my fic recommendations post:)
Also, I’d like to say that the next author I’ve chosen is: @storiesofthefandomlovers, the first pascalnation author I followed here :)
People, don’t forget to take care of yourselves. Stay home and if you need to go out, do it Mando style: don’t show your face in front of anyone. We’re gonna make it!
My message and ask boxes are always opened, come talk to me if you want! See you all soon with new recommendations and fanfics! XOXO
♡ grumpy!Joel that tells you to shut the hell up while you’re humming on patrol, but keeps walking slower so you’ll stay close.
♡ grumpy!Joel that complains every time you pick wildflowers on the road, then tucks one behind your ear when you’re not looking.
♡ grumpy!Joel that huffs every time you call him “cowboy,” but positions himself between you and danger without a second thought.
♡ grumpy!Joel that pretends he doesn’t care when you get a scratch, but won’t sleep until he’s checked it twenty times and kissed your forehead after.
♡ grumpy!Joel that says “you’re gonna get us both killed” when you smile at strangers, but still lets you do all the talking.
♡ grumpy!Joel that rolls his eyes when you sneak into his sleeping bag at night, but pulls you tight against his chest like you’re the only safe thing left.
♡ grumpy!Joel that tells you to quit being annoying while handing you the last piece of jerky without blinking.
♡ grumpy!Joel that acts like your teasing means nothing, but almost shoots a guy just for looking at you too long.
♡ grumpy!Joel that keeps his gun in one hand and yours in the other, grumbling about “being careful,” but never letting go.
♡ grumpy!Joel that finally calls you “baby” during a firefight, like it slipped out in panic—but won’t stop saying it after.
♡ grumpy!Joel that mutters “you drive me insane” when you laugh after almost dying, but kisses your temple like you’re the only reason he’s still fighting.
♡ grumpy!Joel that hates how soft he is with you, especially when you patch him up and call him a “big baby.”
♡ grumpy!Joel that kisses you like it’s the last time, every time, because in this world—it might be.
♡ grumpy!Joel that pushes you against a crumbling wall, panting and bloodied, just to groan, “you’re mine,” before kissing you breathless.
♡ grumpy!Joel that makes love to you in abandoned houses like you’re the only thing that survived the end of the world.
♡ grumpy!Joel that swears under his breath when you giggle during sex, only to say “keep smilin’, baby. I live for it.”
♡ grumpy!Joel that holds your face like it’s something sacred and whispers “I love you” like it might destroy him.
♡ grumpy!Joel that fucks you slow after every close call, just to feel you alive and breathing under him.
♡ grumpy!Joel that lets the whole world burn as long as you’re safe in his arms.
requested! thank you. ♡
content: breeding kink, raw sex, possessive!pedro, praise, filthy talk, established relationship
His hand is gripping your thigh so tight it might bruise — not that you care. You’re too far gone, too drunk on him. Your legs are wrapped around his waist, back arched, moaning into his mouth like you need him to breathe.
And god, Pedro’s so deep.
He’s fucking you slow but hard, like he knows exactly how to keep you on that edge. Every thrust is thick and steady, driving into you with purpose. The bed creaks, your body burns, and he’s staring down at you like you’re the only thing in the world.
“F-fuck,” you whimper, hands clawing at his shoulders. “You’re gonna make me—god, Pedro—”
“Yeah?” he pants, breath hot against your ear. “Gonna come on my cock, baby? Let me feel you. Let me fuck you through it.”
Your brain’s melting, barely holding on, and before you even mean to say it—
“Want you to fill me up.”
He freezes.
Your body jerks against him, desperate for friction, but he just stays there — buried inside you, eyes blown wide and jaw slack. And then he growls. Low, rough, primal.
“Say that again.”
You blink up at him, lips parted. “Wh-what?”
“Say it again,” he hisses, starting to move again, hips rolling harder, deeper, sloppier. “Tell me you want it.”
You’re gasping now, head tipped back, fingernails digging into his skin. “I want you to come inside. I want—shit—want you to fill me up, Pedro.”
His thrusts go brutal then, reckless. “Fuck, baby. You want me to put a baby in you? Yeah? Get you pregnant right here with my cock still inside?”
You moan so loud it echoes off the walls. “Yes, yes, yes—”
“You’d look so fucking perfect,” he groans. “All full and glowing, dripping with me, mine. Fuck, I’m gonna come. Gonna come so deep you’ll feel it for days.”
Your body’s shaking, back arching off the bed as you scream his name. He follows a second later, crushing you into the mattress, spilling inside you with a moan so filthy it makes your whole body clench again.
He doesn’t pull out.
Just stays there, panting against your throat, whispering, “Fuck… you drive me insane.”
