The unfortunate fate of Chiang Foo
”After the siege in Sao Feng’s hideaway when this golumbus was nearly killed by the redcoats, I found Chiang Foo wrestling black bears in the darkened pits of the Singapore streets. Indeed, the Cap’n be wisely figurin’ a man of his girth would be ideal to watch me back on me unscrupulous business dealings, so I be hirin’ him as me stout henchman. Months later, with the strength of ten sailors, me crew be pressgangin’ him into service aboard the ship an’ set sail. After one particularly devastatin’ battle against ruthless Chinese pirates, the brig was so riddled with holes, we be needin’ to lighten the load to avoid sinkin’ to the bottom of the ocean. The crew reluctantly but unanimously voted to make Foo the gov’nor of a god forsakin’ spit o’land in the middle of th’ Pacific. Last I be hearin’, he be the King of the Pelagostos; awaitin’ his fate as the cannibals salivate over the upcoming Great Feast... Ne’er quite sat well wit’ the crew what we did to poor Chiang Foo.”