#penis guy

[seenbyeveryone]

Right when I started working in the ER, there was an absolute legend of a patient in my pod that was complemented by a legend of an ER doc. I was scrolling through Epic seeing what's what and I see a chief complaint of "Penis Injury". I thought "Oh boy, what's that all about!"---I clicked.

"Patient states that he was using a mechanical penis extension device and that since using it one hour ago, he has no sensation in his penis whatsoever"

I read that and thought "Huh. Wow crazy." (Working in an ER is like working at a Waffle House.)

The situation itself isn't what was making me cry from trying to hold in laughter. It was the ER phsyician who was nonchallantly referring to the patient as "Penis Guy" over and over again in a conversation with is resident.

"What we're thinking with penis guy is..."

"The problem with situations like penis guy is that..."

"Yeah, penis guy will most likely be fine in the end..."

"When you're a full blown doctor, people like penis guy can really..."

"Hey, did you read penis guy's chart yet?"

"I have a plan for what to do about penis guy!"

[eposettemyass]

grantaire won't tell anyone his first name because it's richard. his name is dick grantaire

[known-scoundrel]

I've always wanted to be one of those funny people who make funny videos and meme, than I remember I have no talent for it.

[acklesjensen]

Hopefully you received it!! <33

I did, I did! I’ll answer when I’m at home. (I mean, I can’t talk to the penis guy when I’m in public, right? :D)

[acklesjensen]

Yesss, I was the penis guy asking if you got my last message. Apparently tumblr are it! Bc ur last message asked me if I was flirting with you and I sent a message back answering your question and yeah lol soo I'll go back and reread your message and then send u another ask bc well I enjoy talking to you. :3

I just laughed so hard because you already accepted the name “penis guy” but yes, go ahead, I enjoy talking to you, too. :D

[acklesjensen]

Heyy! Did you get my last ask or did tumblr eat my message? ;) <33

That’s kinda hard to tell since I don’t know who you are. (Are you the penis guy? ʘ‿ʘ) But I answered all the (new) messages in my ask, so Tumblr was probably a dick again. D:

[acklesjensen]

Hahaha I can't imagine why you're laughing? ;p eh, I may eventually come off anon but for now I hide behind grey face..if I ever do I just wanna be kept a secret hahahaha. Lol cute little cup male cup cake? Lmao that made me laugh hysterically. But yes I do know. That ep where you can hear jensens dick jiggle is just. Holy fuck he's gotta have like a 9 inch or something cause dayum! I enjoy women's anatomy more though lol. Women are just beautiful creatures that need some fucking respect! <3

Okay. You will come off anon someday. I’ll remember that. I’ll know it’s you, ha! (Actually, I don’t even remember what I had for dinner, so don’t worry.) I’m glad I made you laugh, though BUT HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT JENSEN’S DICK JIGGLE AnD his PENIS (AS A WORK OF PERFECTION like the rest of him) WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO FINALLY CALM DOWN A LITTLE BIT?!?? I mean…ofc I don’t even doubt the 9 inches *coughs* but that’s just…no. Or well…wait. No…actually, it’s fine. Go ahead.

And srsly. To all the women out there. Convince this guy to come off anon because he’s probably a fucking saint!

[acklesjensen]

Hahaha me come off anon? Ehh I'm scared to bc if you're thinking I'm a woman...I'm actually a man who can appreciate male anatomy. Soo it may be awkward hell idk I'm not sleepy and I should be lol. But dude, that gif of cas and Dean when the angel eyes appear on cas and Demon!Dean comes out- it's almost as if cas had stuck his dick in Dean and Dean screamed!! Hahaha oh my. I may be bisexual bc of supernatural Lmao

You can’t even imagine how much I’m laughing rn. I mean COME ON!! YOU’RE A MAN and you don’t wanna be my penis-talk-buddy? Or something? What am I even typing here (7am, you have to excuse that!) But pff. Awkward? Scared? Are you kidding me? I already love you! :D

So you wanna tell me…the only thing needed to cure Dean was Cas’ dick and some angelic sex powers? Yes. Sounds logical to me. And you know what, my cute little male cupcake who appreciates male anatomy? If I were a guy, I’d probably be gay just because of the very existence of Jensen Ackles…because…just because. You know? (/)///(\)