Yeah, that's it.
Edward Cullen x Reader wc: 3k << PART 2 ao3 link
Summary— Needing some air after the confrontation with Bella at the café, you head to the meadow for refuge. Much to your dismay, you're not the only one there.
Bees and butterflies alike flittered across the grass, pollinating the many flowers that grew. The meadow was a sacred place to you. Something so untouched and beautiful, a visual display of how amazing nature could be. The rain had stopped by now, and the ground was mostly dry, save for a few particularly muddy spots near the edges of the glade.
Sighing, you sat down in the dead centre of the clearing, running your hands over the many blades of grass, apologising to the few ladybugs you disturbed.
You reflected on everything that had just occurred. It was horrible what you did. Despite what she had learned, Bella still cared about you, and you couldn’t fully understand why. Bella had been honest, painfully so. She’d confronted you, and didn’t dance around words and phrasings like you had. You should’ve been honest with Bella. Then again, Edward hadn’t been either.
Oh yeah, Edward. This was all about him. He was the root of the problem. No, you shouldn’t think of it that way. If you hadn’t inserted yourself into his life by accepting his tutoring request none of this would’ve happened. It was more of your fault if anything. You also couldn’t fully understand why he lied. What did he gain from that besides an angry Bella, the girl he proclaimed his love to every other second?
It was all too much to think about, too much to handle, and not something you wanted to face at the moment. You allowed the serenity of the meadow to overtake you, enjoying the sounds of birds chirping, some distant, some closer. You took in the light wind that occasionally breezed by, messing up your hair ever so slightly. You took in the sound of footsteps approaching you cautiously.
“What the hell?!” You spun around, jumping to your feet. Your heart speeding down when seeing the familiar face, then speed back up again once you remembered whose face it was.
“You know about this place?” Edward asked, stepping closer to you, his hands finding their way into his pockets. Many of the bees scattered as he neared you, buzzing off back to their hives.
“You know about this place?”
“Well, yeah.” He chuckled. “That’s why I’m here.”
“Right.” You sighed, dropping back down on the ground, Edward copying your action. You brought your knees under your chin, hugging them tightly against your chest.
“How did you find this area?” Edward asked, running his hand along the grass, his fingers catching on taller weeds.
“By accident.” You laughed, nervously playing with frayed seams on your jeans. You spun the thread around multiple times, allowing the string to twirl around itself before letting go of it. “I was wandering. I guess.”
“So was I. When I discovered it, that is.” His finger caught on a small flower this time, he carefully plucked it. Since it hadn’t fully bloomed yet, Edward helped it, gently opening each petal up, avoiding tearing any off.
“Why’d you come here today?”
“To think.” He spoke, his voice uneven, almost meek sounding.
“Me too.” You raised your head to meet his eyes. They seemed darker than the last time you saw them, a dark brown, nearly black. You squinted at them carefully, before deciding to focus on a nearby daisy instead.
“Do you… not like me?” He asked, really our of nowhere. His brows were furrowed and his bottom lip tucked underneath his top row of teeth.
You huffed at his question, bringing a hand up to push your hair back unnecessarily. “What type of question is that? Yes, Edward. I like you.” You rolled your eyes in unison with your words, trying to keep your breathing even. You wanted to hide. Where was he going with this?
He groaned, bending his knees to his chest and resting his head on them. Edward discarded the flower, dropping it onto the grassy bed beneath him. “That’s not what I meant…”
“Then what did you mean?”
He paused, clearly debating the best way to answer your question. Eyes flickering around quickly as he stared straight ahead. “When you told Bella that… Was what you said true? Did you mean what you said?
You felt your cheeks heat up at his question. You stared at the thick trees in front of you, not wanting to give away any emotion on your face. “What… What do you think I said?”
Edward sighed, opening his mouth to speak, but deciding against it at the last moment. He sat next to you silently, picking up a dandelion puff, rotating it around between his thumb and forefinger.
“Oh God. Edward, I don’t know what Bella told you but–”
“She didn’t tell me anything.” Edward quickly cut you off, shaking his head as he spoke. “I overheard the conversation.” You heard him blow on the dandelion, seeds flying in front of your eyes, following the wind. You could faintly feel a few land in your hair. Edward dusted off his hands, stretching his legs until they were fully flush with the ground.
“...You were there?”
“I was passing by.” He hurried to correct you.
“Listen, I’m not trying to break you and Bella up or anything,” though you wouldn’t cry if they did, “but please don’t tell her I lied. I don’t want her to hate me.”
“So you didn’t mean it, is what you’re saying.” You could feel his eyes bore into the side of your head. It took everything in you not to turn and face him.
“Yeah, I guess I am.” Three tiny sparrows landed before you, pecking at the dandelion seeds on the grass. One landed on your shoulder, digging its beak into your hair, searching for more seeds. Edward carefully reached out, the bird flying away as soon as he neared it.
He paused, you could hear him shift closer, his seemingly permanent coldness radiating off of him. “She wouldn’t hate you.”
You scoffed, tucking your hair behind your ears, watching the last of the sparrows fly away. “She totally would. She’s obsessed with you.” You finally looked back at him, there was a faint smile on his face.
He scoffed at that, pulling his lips together tightly and shaking his head once more. “No she’s not. She… she’s moving on.”
You squinted at him, your jaw dropping slightly. Shoving his shoulder lightly, you quickly spoke to refute the claim. “No way. I mean… how can you even…”
“It’s Jacob.” He muttered, a clear look of hurt on his face. “It’s pretty obvious, especially to my sister.” A small laugh left his mouth. He fully reclined onto the plush grass, comfortably shutting his eyes. “It’s obvious to everybody but Bella.”
The pieces began clicking together mentally. How often Edward told you Bella and Jacob were together, how dismissive he was of it, how close he’d allowed the two of you to get.
Pausing for a moment, you quickly shook your head. There were more important matters than your own feelings. “Why did you lie to her?”
He eyed you carefully, a nervous smile coming up to his face. “I never lied.”
Groaning, you ran both of your hands down your face. “Lying by omission is still lying.”
“...You’re right. I should’ve told her about us.”
As much as the thought of Edward and you being an “us” made you fantasise, you couldn’t help but cringe at how easily the phrasing fell out of his mouth. “We’re not a thing.”
“I know– I just. You know what I mean.”
You wanted to be a good friend, no, needed to be. You couldn’t live with yourself if you were one of the causes for Bella’s breakup, whether or not Jacob Black was the main reason for it. “I think I should go.”
He didn’t respond, not verbally. Though he stood up in sync with you, his steps followed yours.
“What are you doing?” You muttered, slight annoyance seeping through your voice.
“How about I walk you out of here? They’ve been reports of wolves. Huge ones.”
You snorted, pushing past a short bush, one with small, red berries you couldn’t quite recognise growing. “Fine.”
“No, I’m serious! I’ve seen them before. Massive beasts. Smell horrible too. There was this big brown one with crazy teeth. Disgusting, honestly.”
“Okay! Jesus…”
It was hard to stay mad at him when he diligently pointed out every root sticking through the dirt, lightly tugging on your sleeve to pull you out of the way. Or when he pointed out every squirrel he saw, the animal always skittering off when either of you got too close.
Everything he’d done for you showed you he cared about you. He pushed you out of the way from a van about to kill you. He offered to tutor you when he noticed your grades were down. Just on this walk through the woods, he’d saved you from falling over nearly a dozen times. He so obviously cared, so why didn’t it feel like he did? Why did this all feel off?
Edward led you to your front door, opening it for you with a curt smile, his eyes wandering from your eyes to the wall behind you. “How about we go out tonight?”
You faltered, fiddling with the door knob, repeatedly locking and unlocking it. “And do what?”
“Well,” he hummed, bringing his hand to the back of his neck, he faintly pulled at his collar, “you don’t have a pencil case, right?”
Biting your lips, your shoulders remained tense as his eyes continued to dart around. “Yeah, not since the crash.”
“We could go out to Port Angeles and pick out a nice one.”
You stared at him, your face deadpan. “That might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Edward’s face dropped, his pupils stilling as they finally focused on you. “Sure.”
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
You weren’t exactly comfortable around Edward. You never had been, but it was true especially now. You didn’t bother to clarify with him if Bella would be okay with the two of you’s expedition, being aware you wouldn’t get a straight answer out of him. There was a part of you that wished you had, then you could live in delusion just a little longer. Pretending that your feelings weren’t real were much easier when your crushes girlfriend didn’t think they were either.
“C’mon, we're here.” Edward announced, helping you out of his Volvo.
“Where are we going?” You asked, your voice unenthusiastic, too focused on avoiding the garbage on the side of the pavement to make yourself sound interested.
“There’s this shop. They sell knick-knacky sorta things, think you might find something you’d want.” You both rounded the corner, a store with warm, fluorescent lighting catching your attention, the worn down sign did too.
“Are pencil cases considered knick-knacks?” Glancing over at Edward, his eyes were focused on the park across the street. You looked over his shoulder, yet nothing there was found particularly interesting to you.
“Sure. I do.” He grinned as you ran into the door, blocking any direct content with his hand. “You alright?”
“Yeah, what the fuck?” You grumbled, rubbing your forehead. Where you expected to feel a sharp sting of heat was uncomfortably cold instead. “Ugh…”
“It’s a pull.” His head shook as he grabbed the handle, pulling it towards himself and motioning for you to enter. “This is why I open doors for you.”
The store was quiet, and smelled vaguely of incense. There was no one inside, save for you, Edward, and the clerk working the cashier. She was boredly scrolling on her phone, chewing gum, and occasionally blowing a bubble bigger than her face.
“What are you looking for?” He asked as you perused the aisles, skimming through the miscellaneous items on the shelves.
“Something with a zipper.”
“As opposed to… what?”
“Something without a zipper.” You shrugged, a large plushie slumped down on the shelf catching your attention. It had an eye missing, and the brown fabric was worn down, but it was cute nonetheless. “Was this one of the big bad wolves in the forest earlier?” You shook the toy in his face, he quickly swatted it away once the matted faux fur got too close.
“Colour’s right. Just needs to be way uglier.” His was laugh a near giggle as he threw it back onto the shelf, the wolf plushie knocking over a couple books. You could tell just by the outer edge of the pages that many silverfish had wreaked havoc on it.
On a table at the end of the aisle was a small display, one with a theme dedicated to… you weren’t sure. Maybe the beach, or the ocean, or the colour blue in general. But what you noticed was a small pouch, maybe two inches longer than your hand. It was a light blue, one that matched the sky on a sunny day, maybe that was the theme.
“This is cute, no?” You picked it, feeling the canvas fabric over the pads of your fingers. Turning to see Edward’s reaction, he head was turned completely away from you, eyes glued to the window. “Edward?”
“Sorry—Just give me a minute. I need some air.” He was quick to leave, the bells above the door jingling as he did so.
Sighing, you played with the pouch in your hand, trying to recreate the length of a pencil with your fingers. Once deemed acceptable enough, you paid for the item, the clerk sliding you a stick of gum when you asked for it.
Pocketing the gum, you pushed open the door, taking care to read the sign this time, and stepped out onto the street. When Edward wasn’t immediately in your field of view, you scanned the area, looking for any area he could’ve been.
That’s when you found him leaning against a lamp post, gaze fixated on two people in the distance, sitting on a park bench together. You recognised Bella first, her long, wavy brown hair was ordinary, but you’d seen the back of her head so often the past year it was impossible to miss. It flowed across her back, complimenting the dark blue blouse she was wearing excellently. There was a wide smile on her face, and a blush so prominent you could spot it from where you were standing.
Then you noticed Jacob Black.
Your eyes shot over to Edward, him still being fully entranced at the image before him. Taking long strides to get to him, a pang of empathy and something that felt a little too much like nostalgia flowed through you.
“They kinda look like they’re on a date.” You said, watching as Jacob held a plastic spoon to Bella’s mouth. You could see her cover her face in embarrassment as Jacob began moving it around, mimicking an aeroplane.
“Definitely.” His voice was somber as he spoke, taking effort to properly pronounce each syllable fully.
“...You’re not gonna do anything about it?” You asked, his eyebrows furrowing together at your question.
“What?”
“Well, that’s your girlfriend.” You gestured towards them, any passer-by would assume they were a couple, having a cute night out together. “Go beat the shit out of him or something.”
He laughed abruptly, leaning his head back on the pole, his Adam’s apple moving up and down as he did so. “Trust me, I’ve thought about it. They’d be a pack after me if I did.”
“Sure, sure.” You watched as Bella squealed at something Jacob said, hiding her face in his shoulder, his arm being quick to wrap around hers. “But still, you’re just gonna let her be stolen or… whatever’s happening there.
“She’s not… she didn’t mean to fall in love with him. She doesn’t even realise she has. It’s just… natural for her. I want her to have the best life she can.”
“Me too.” You replied, mulling over your thoughts in your head. What type of person gets with a friend's ex boyfriend? What type of guy gets with their exes friend? Or soon-to-be ex anyway. The words singed the tip of your tongue. “I don’t wanna be your rebound.”
“That– that’s not what you are to me.” He huffed, clearly annoyed with where the conversation was heading.
“But that’s what I’m going to be, right?”
It took a minute for him to respond, still looking at Bella and Jacob with rapt interest. His eyes seemed darker than ever before, a near black rather than the dark brown they were just earlier today. You wondered if the street light casting a shadow on his face was the cause, or maybe you were just so overwhelmed with emotion you were going fucking crazy. When he finally did speak, his speech sounded strained. “Probably.”
“I don’t want to be that.”
“Why?” His voice rose, becoming more aggressive as he continued. His nose flared ever so slightly. “I know you like me. I know you have since we met. Don’t you want to be with me?”
“I do… I wanna be your girlfriend. But if we keep hanging out that’s not what I’ll be, I’ll just become Bella’s replacement.” You ignored the fact that he said he’d always known your true feelings, pushing the embarrassment aside to deal with later.
A sudden increase of traffic blocked the view to the park, with cars lined up bumper-to-bumper, maybe a foot or less between each one. Huffing as the smell of gasoline enveloped you, you shoved your sleeve down, wrapping it around your hand. You brought it up to your nose, using it as a makeshift mask to block on the fumes.
“That’s not true.” His voice softened, zipping up his jacket as others in the area did too. He was focused on the ground now, staring at his undone shoelaces and the half-smoked cigarettes lying smushed near the rain gutters. “That’s not true.” He repeated.
“Edward,” he lifted his head up. It was hard to look at his face, and at that moment you really didn’t want to. “Just, call me when it isn’t.”
The light turned green, and the cars began to drive up the road, bringing her back into view. He turned away from you, his eyes homing in on her once again.
A/N: bout to watch the odyssey omg wow guys im so excited wow dude holy shit wow
