"you say you're a good girl, i say you're a liar. how could such a good girl love a vampire?"
Edward Cullen x Fem!Reader
wc: 1.6k ao3 link
Summary— You know that Edward is a vampire. He terrifies you, you're sure of it. And yet, despite your better judgement, you're still drawn to him. Moths to a flame.
obviously based off the song "your favorite dress" by lil peep + lil tracy
His eyes changed from black to golden overnight. He was inexplicably silent. His canines seemed almost fang-like in shape. He never ate or drank anything. He never went out in the sunlight. Oh, Edward Cullen was a vampire no doubt. He was so poor at hiding it, it truly was the eighth wonder of the world how no one but you, a regular teenage girl, had figured it out.
It disgusted you how lies slipped from his tongue so easily. Anytime you questioned him, or his “siblings”—heavy on the quotes—they’d always find some conniving way to avoid properly answering it. A sudden feeling of sickness washing over you, a conveniently timed phone call, Edward flashing a smile so charming it physically stopped you in your tracks, your heartbeat speeding up in fear.
You were a victim of that last one today.
Splashing cold water over your face always helped to clear the mind, but right now that seemed to have no effect on you. You were in the midst of interrogating him on his music taste—no normal seventeen year-old listens to Clair de lune that often—when it occurred.
“Don’t you just love music?” You sighed, gazing at him from across the table. You were both in biology and had been assigned to work together as partners. By some stroke of luck, you usually were. You’d seen his mountain of CDs in his horrendously flashy Volvo. “I love laying outside on a hot, sunny day, reading a magazine and singing along to my favourites.” You eyed him carefully as you spoke, watching his reactions.
He nodded his head, chuckling quietly. “I love music too.”
“Who do you listen to?” You inched forward, leaning closer, a daring look on your face.
“Well, I like classical music mainly. So Bach, Mozart, Debussy.” You nodded at his answer, paying special attention to the last one he named. “Who do you listen to?” Edward asked. He rested his cheek on his palm, staring at you with great amusement.
You huffed, crossing your arms with a faint pout, he’s deriving pleasure from my pain. What a sadist. Staring out the window on your left, you replied decisively. “Popular artists.”
“Which ones are popular again? I wouldn’t know. I’m so very out of the loop.” You could hear the grin through just his voice alone.
“Ah hah!” Your eyes shot to his as you pointed a finger at him. He stared down at it, playfully swatting it away once it got too close. “So you admit it!”
“...Admit what?”
“You tell me.” Your face went smug as the bell rang, the peers surrounding you hurrying to pack their bags.
“No? You need to tell me. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I knew you’d say that.” As you hopped off the chair, you saw him roll his eyes from your peripheral vision. He grabbed your backpack for you, placing the straps around your arms.
“So we go to your place after school?”
“What?” You spun around, your eyebrows knitting together.
“For the project. We’re partners?” This is when it happened. This is when he used one of his many covert tactics to stun you into submission. He smiled! His eyes, at that moment golden, crinkled up at the corners, his pupils dilating the longer he stared at you. There was something about the way the corners of his mouth turned up that made you melt. You could almost feel your skin peeling off. You nodded helplessly, unable to do much more while under his control.
Groaning, you shoved the tap back on. You’d waterboard yourself if it meant feeling normal again. You ducked your head under the faucet, the cool water providing a refreshing contrast to your warm face. If you were this hot now, it was going to be hell keeping up with Edward and his mind games later in the day.
And you were right, like you usually are. Dealing with Edward was a pain.
First, he waited by the door of your last class, leaning against the wall. His hands laced together with yours as soon as you exited the room.
Vampiric ass temperature. You whined internally, trying to shake his hand off yours. He wordlessly took off his coat, wrapping it around you before holding your hand again. You took a few sniffs of his jacket, particularly around the collar area.
His scent was more highly concentrated there, and easier for you to identify. The smell was comforting, akin to sipping hot chocolate around a fireplace, quite the opposite to Edward himself. It had hints of wood, sandalwood, maybe? You’d have to cross reference his scent with others of his kind to see if it was just him or all vampires who smelt this way.
Second, he offered to drive you home, since you were ‘both going the same direction anyway’. You knew he was using this as an excuse to get you alone. Maybe he’d bite your neck during gridlock, or maybe he just wanted to lower your guard down. Either way, it took a lot of convincing from him for you to finally sit in the passenger seat of his car.
You hugged his coat tighter around your body, wanting as much padded protection in case he lunged at you. He let you pick the album, most likely to ease your nerves. So, you of course chose the only one in his hoard that you thought would expose his true persona.
“How do you like it?” You asked, your voice a near shout over the music. You threatened to jump out on the highway and frame him for your death every time he reached to turn the volume down.
“It’s great! I think Olivia Rodrigo’s vocals on this track are excellent.” He replied, his voice matching yours.
Reaching over to the dashboard, you ejected the CD mid song, clicking it back into its case.
Third, once you had finally made it to your house after a long, music-less drive, he opened the door for you. He took your hand in his dead one and helped you out, helping you stabilise yourself on the wet, rainy ground. You blame that one on Forks more than him, honestly.
Edward attempted to take his coat off you as soon as you got inside. You shook your head aggressively. The extra fabric made you feel safer. No way was he going to strip you of that right. He shrugged, following you to your room where he quickly made himself comfortable on the bed, flopping onto it carelessly. His hair sprawled out on the sheets, tousled messily, yet still framing his face wonderfully. He’d just gotten here, yet he was already slacking off. Who knew vampires could be so lazy.
“I heard that…” Edward mumbled, tilting his head up as you joined him on the bed. Running your hands through his hair, he tilted it towards you, his face softening by the smallest margin. You were unsure if vampires still even had blood for lice to feed off of, but it was better to check than let him roll around on your pillows with an infestation.
“You didn’t hear shit.”
“Uh huh.” He drawled out, moving to sit up on the bed, your hand falling off his head and into his lap. He held it delicately in his palm, running his fingers over yours with much grace. You could feel yourself begin to panic as adrenaline started to course through your veins.
He slowly brought your hand up to his mouth...
You squealed, shuffling backwards on the bed, kicking his abdomen as hard as you could. This was it. This was how you die.
“Hmm? Why did you do that?”
“You were going to bite me!” Your breathing got heavier as you spoke, zipping the jacket up fully and burying your face in it, only leaving your eyes visible. You threw a pillow at him for good measure. You had allowed the lion to lure you into his den, and you were unsure if there was any way out of it unscathed.
Shaking his head, Edward stared at you, another world-stopping smile on his face. “I was going to kiss you.”
You laughed, wishing you didn’t throw the cushion at him so you’d have something to hug. “I wouldn’t have let you do that either!”
“Why not?”
“T–That would– That would go completely against every moral code I stand for.”
“You have morals against kissing vampires?”
Your face dropped. Sitting up, the oversized jacket sagged back down against your body, fully exposing your face. “You– I’m right? I’m right. I’m a good girl, I would never…” You buried your nose against the collar of the coat, taking large breaths to calm yourself down.
He ran a hand through his hair, gazing at you for a moment before moving closer towards you. “You see, I just don’t think that’s true.” Using his pointer finger, he carefully placed it under your chin, gently guiding you to look up at him. “I think you’re a liar.”
You were so scared, so utterly terrified of what was about to happen. He dipped towards you, his lips hovering just under your ear.
“I think if you were really a good girl, you wouldn’t like a vampire.” Edward’s finger trailed along your jaw, his thumb coming up to touch your bottom lip. “Your heart wouldn’t speed up whenever you’re around him. You wouldn’t sift your fingers through his hair. You wouldn’t think about him every second of the day.”
His mouth ghosted over your pulse point, his cool breath causing the hairs on your neck to stand up.
“If you really were so afraid, you’d want me to leave, wouldn’t you?” You nodded weakly. “Then do you?”
You couldn’t properly respond to that, only able to sigh contently as his lips finally made contact with your skin.
A/N: this was very fun to write but I fear it is not verrrrry good *sigh*
Summary— After an unfortunate accident involving Tyler Crowley and your car, Edward Cullen begins to take notice of you.
The bell rang. School’s over. You could finally leave.
Walking to your car, you made a conscious effort to not slip on the frozen over parking lot. A decent layer of ice was covering the ground, it was a wonder school hadn’t been cancelled.
Reaching your car, you dug in your pockets for your keys, your fingers only coming up holding lint. As you placed your backpack on the hood of your car, unzipping your front pocket, you glanced at the motorcycle lazily parked next to your car. It was obnoxiously taking up two spots. You turned around, trying to find whoever owned it, looking for anyone who fit the bill.
That’s when you saw him.
He was well over six foot, probably closer to six foot five. He was wearing a tight fitting black shirt. His blue washed jeans stood out against his tan skin. His hair, short and black, was damp from the rain. You recognised him from the few times you and your friends had gone to La Push beach. It was Jacob Black.
You debated walking over and talking to him. To complain about his parking job, though you knew how he’d rebuttal, telling you how there had to have been at least another ten open spaces.
You changed your mind once you saw he was speaking to Bella. You wanted to avoid her as much as possible. Not because she’d done anything wrong. God no. You were fully aware all of your emotions were fully from your own doing, your own desires. But you couldn’t stand looking at her facing knowing she had everything you wanted. Neither could you stand the guilt gnawing away your soul when she gushed about how perfect Edward was.
As your mind crossed back to him, you looked around the parking lot, trying to spot through the crowd. You easily found his siblings, all crowding around Rosalie’s M3 and Emmett’s Jeep Wrangler. You saw Edward’s Volvo parked not far away, but no sign of him himself.
Shaking your head and sighing, you continued your search for your keys, rummaging through it. As you did, you heard the clinking of metal near the bottom. You took a few stray coins and old gum wrappers out in the process, finally taking hold of your car keys.
You were about to unlock it, shoving the key into the hole, when an abhorrent screeching noise was heard from behind you. You quickly spun around, your eyes meeting Tyler Crowley’s. He was behind the wheel of his van, whizzing out control, and clearly about to slam into you.
Freezing in place, you did nothing else but brace for impact. You were never the fight, flight, or fawn type of girl, and this life or death situation wasn’t going to change that.
A pair of hands grabbed you tightly, pulling you out of the way. Instead of being met with the harsh, cold metal crushing you as expected, you braced for impact as you fell, feeling a soft woollen jacket over your hands.
Your eyes shot open, only to be met with a pair of deep golden ones, ones filled with concern. You examined him more carefully, not capable enough to fully comprehend what was going on. He was laying on the rough terrain of the parking lot, with your legs on either side of his hips. Both of his hands clutched at your waist while yours held onto his shoulders. His bronze hair splayed out onto the floor, tuffs of it sticking to his face.
His mouth was moving, forming words that you couldn’t quite hear over the sound of your thoughts. You nodded along, mesmerised by the man who just saved you. He let go of your waist gently tapping your neck, sending a cold shock throughout your body.
“I said are you alright?” Edward asked. That woke you up. You cleared your throat, heat rushing to your cheeks.
“I’m fine.” You mumbled out, physically unable to say anything louder. You were still shell-shocked at Edward Cullen being underneath you.
“Can you move? You’re not hurt, are you?” His expression relaxed the longer you looked at him, though his brows were still furrowed and his nose still scrunched.
“Yeah, sorry!” You rushed to get off him. He stood up faster, then leaned down to place his hands under your arms, helping to lift you up. You thanked him profusely as Tyler Crowley rolled down his window, his words slightly slurred. You turned around when he called out your name, although you could barely distinguish it from the tens of other students calling out to you, questioning if you were okay.
Whatever Tyler said fell on deaf ears as you looked at the state of your car and his van. The side of yours had caved in while the front of his had been destroyed, though no glass had shattered. The silver lining was that your backpack was okay, albeit tipped over and contents spilled across the floor. The only casualty was your pencil case, the fabric ripped up and destroyed
“Hey!” Warm arms wrapped around you, and the smell of strawberry scented shampoo wafted through the air. “Oh my gosh, are you hurt anywhere?” Bella pulled back, cupping your face and searching it for any cuts or scrapes. Behind her, you could see Jacob tailing behind her, his glancing between you, Edward, and his bike that remained untouched in the process.
“I’m fine Bella, don’t worry.” You smiled half-heartedly, taking her wrists and placing them back by her sides.
“You should go to the hospital!”
“Oh no, I wouldn’t want to waste anyone's time–”
“No, seriously! Edward’s dad can check on you, it wouldn’t take a minute.” With her pleading eyes and her hands clasped together, she almost looked like she was begging you. Begging you for a confirmation of your good health. More guilt, more guilt, more guilt.
Looking over at Edward, his face seemed to match Bella’s more and more by the second. You needed to get out of there as soon as possible.
Jacob spoke up, crossing his arms over his chest. “Let Edward drive you home at least.”
Edward perked up at that offer, squinting daggers at Jacob. “Sure.”
“Not like you were taking Bella home anyway.” He retorted, walking in between you and Edward to get to his motorcycle, picking his helmet off the ground. Bella followed him, putting on Jacob’s helmet. She waved goodbyes at the both of you before sliding the visor down.
“C’mon.” Edward said gruffly. He had placed all your belongings back in your bag and slinging it over his shoulder. The two of you pushed past the large crowd that had formed.
“Where’s she going?” You asked, looking behind you to see her and Jacob speed off together, Bella’s hair flying around haphazardly.
“She wanted to visit the reservation again. She told Jacob he could pick her up after school today.” He moved a lot faster than you, taking longer and faster strides. You practically had to jog to keep up with him.
“Oh, cool.” You wondered why Edward would let Bella hangout with a guy who clearly liked her. You wondered why he was slowly down to match your natural walking pace.
“I know it may seem strange why I let them spend time together when Jacob’s intentions are evidently… not pure.” He paused as you reached his Volvo. He held the door open for you, tossing your backpack in the back seat. He leaned over the passenger side, resting his arm on the roof of the car. “But, he means a lot to her. I don’t wish to take that away.”
“Right.” You nodded, buckling your seatbelt as he shut the door, taking his spot on the driver's seat not long after. “I live on Collins Street. Do you know where that is?” He hummed in affirmation, putting the car into drive and pulling out of the parking lot.
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
You were ever so grateful for Tyler Crowley nearly killing you. He was so apologetic, bringing you chocolate and roses trying to make you feel better. If only you could grab him by the arms and shake him and tell him that it was the best descension he ever made.
After that fateful day, Edward had begun to notice you more. He often talked to you in class, asking you for simple things like pens and erasers. But still, he was talking to you. It wasn’t until you failed your third math test in a row when you and Edward had your first real conversation.
Mr. Varner had handed your paper back upside down, a quiet see me after class falling from his lips. You were now sitting in front of his desk, head in your hands as he recounted your past failures.
“I just don’t understand.” He said, massaging his temples firmly. “You were doing so well last semester. You seem reserved. Is something going on at home?” Your eyes widened. Shit, was that how bad you were doing? You vehemently denied it, hurriedly providing a simpler explanation instead, filled with half truths.
“I guess the accident hasn’t been very good on my mental. Maybe that’s why I’ve been kinda distant.” You’ve been failing because the only thing on your mind had been Edward for the past month. Sorta accurate.
“If this continues I’d want you to see the school counsellor, alright?” You rolled your eyes as he turned around, standing up and tucking the chair back under the desk behind you.
“I understand…” You murmured, quietly fuming as you left the room. You swung your locker open, a letter from Tyler addressed to you fell out. Falling next to your feet. Groaning at the sight, you bent down to pick it up. You flipped the letter over in your hand, debating opening it. The sharp edges of the envelope lightly scratched your hand. You decided to toss it back into your locker before you got a paper cut.
Switching out your math textbook for english, you felt someone's presence behind you. Swivelling around to investigate, you jumped at the sight of Edward, stumbling backwards and banging your head against the metal locker door.
“Sorry!” He grinned, seemingly giddy. He brought his hand up to cover his mouth, his pearly white teeth still clearly visible behind his pale fingers.
“What? You’re fine–” You hissed as you rubbed your temple, an awkward smile on your face. You’d been unable to stop thinking about Edward Cullen since the almost accident. He agreed to Jacob’s not-so-subtle push to get him and Bella alone together, resulting in the two of you having one on one time with each other. He opened the door for you with a second thought. And his car. Holy shit his car. It smelt exactly like him, just amplified to the highest degree.
How could you ever pretend to be normal around him after that day?
“I noticed you got a D minus three tests in a row.” Edward spoke, the corners of his lips still turned up as he did. “I was wondering if you needed any help with math.”
You couldn’t help but notice the amused look on his face. A feeling of dread washed over you. Edward's face dropped before you said anything. “Are you making fun of me?” Your voice was meek as you talked.
“No! No, I would never.” He vehemently denied it, his face slightly frustrated. “I was just wondering if I could tutor you.”
“So… you’re pitying me?” You hid your face in your locker, pretending to look for something inside, anything to avoid his piercing eyes, ones that seemed to know your every thought.
“I’m not pitying you. But you are… pitiable. In your academics, specifically.” Edward clarified, peering over your shoulder trying to see what you were doing.
You froze as he reached his arm over your shoulder, snatching the envelope you mindlessly threw inside out. You spun around to find him carefully eyeing it, examining both sides.
“Did Tyler give you this?”
Sighing, you let him play with it while you talked. “Yeah. He’s still trying to apologise after the accident. I was just going to put it with the others when I got home.” His thumb teased the opening, clearly itching to rip it and take out the letter. “Just read it.”
He thanked you, tearing the wax sealing off. “Bit old fashioned, no?”
You scoffed, pushing your hair back and letting out a laugh. “I like vintage stuff.”
His eyes scanned the paper. Edward stiffened slightly then glanced up at you before looking back down. “Do you also like him?”
“What?” You were shocked at the question, shifting back and forth in place.
“This reads more like a love note than anything.”
“Give me that.” As you attempted to grab it out of his hands, he held it up higher, reading it out loud to you over your head.
“I’m so terribly sorry for the pain I’ve caused you.” Edward cleared his throat prior to continuing. “I beg you of the simple request to give me the time of day to formally atone for my faults. If I may ask, I wish to take you on a dining experience you’ll not soon forget.” He giggled, folding the page over and handing it back to you. “God, was he born in 1901 or something?”
“Is that seriously what he wrote?” You skimmed the paper, finding the sentences he recited with ease.
Edward watched the other students walking to their next classes. Some moved faster than others, while a few were like the both of you. Standing and speaking while knowing full well that they should start going. “You never answered my question.” His voice softer than before.
“Oh, uhm. Sure. I’d love for you to tutor me.” You hurried to add on the next part. “But is Bella okay with it?”
Edward paused, his eyes staring behind you, seemingly distant, before returning to look at you. “She’s hanging out with Jacob Black today.”
You breathed out a sigh of relief, your shoulders visibly relaxing. “We could go to the library after school? Would that work?”
“Yeah that’d be perfect.”
You spent the rest of the day looking forward to seeing Edward. You’d never been so excited to do math. Entering the library, you quietly made your way to a long, wooden table. One with just a few people silently working on it at the opposite end.
You patiently waited for him to show up, picking at your nail beds in the meantime. It was still so hard to believe that this was actually happening. You were actually going to spend what would probably be a good hour talking to Edward. Just the two of you.
The sound of a chair being pulled out grabbed your attention. Edward greeted you politely, and you returned a similar one back to him.
“What were the past tests on again?” Edward asked, sitting down on the chair next to you.
“You know exactly what they were on.” You retorted, digging in your bag for the stray pencils you had inside.
“I want to know if you remember.” He gazed over at you, seeing your arm elbow deep in your backpack. “You still haven’t bought a new pencil case?”
Your face heated up in embarrassment at his observation. “Like, algebra or something, right? Also, no. I’m still mourning the loss.”
“It’s been a month.” He said, taking out his own notebook. “Don’t you think you should move on?”
“A month's not that long.”
“You’re right.”
You took out the test you were handed back today. Still placing it face down on the table. Edward chuckled, flipping it over immediately.
“Don’t be silly, I already know your grade.”
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
You nervously fiddled with your house keys as Edward loomed behind you. It had just been a little over four weeks since the first tutoring session, and you’ve now upgraded from the library, where you sat chairs with uneven legs and talked awkwardly in a somewhat hushed voice, to having Edward request to come see you place. You were more than happy to oblige, seeing as it was near impossible for you to say no to him.
Finally getting the door open, you stepped inside, waiting for him to enter before fully closing it. You could feel your heart beating in your chest. It felt so odd seeing a man so perfect he could’ve been carved from marble in your living room.
“So, do you want a tour or…”
“Let’s just go to your room.” He walked up the stairs, finding his way to your room without any assistance needed. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought he’d been here before.
“How’d you know where my bedroom was?”
“Lucky guess.” He flopped onto your mattress, pulled out his notebook and somehow snagged yours from your backpack when you weren’t looking.
The sun was setting and you were sick of wearing jeans. You allowed him to do his own thing as you made your way to your closet, eager to get into something more comfortable.
He began checking your answers, referring to the answers he had gotten himself. You gazed at him from your closet door, mesmerised by his mere presence. His face was incredibly angular, his jawline so sharp you feared he'd cut his own neck. Your curtain was ever so barely ajar, not fully covering the window and allowing some moonlight to seep through. His skin—due to some odd trick of the eye—was illuminated under it, only making you focus more on him.
“You got 4.a wrong.” He looked up from the page, his eyes an alluring amber.
“Hmm?” You noised, wiping your mouth to check you haven’t drooled at all.
He tittered, going back to checking your work. “Is picking out pyjamas really that mentally consuming?”
“No? Shut up, I'm not being consumed.” Flipping through your clothes, everything was far too scruffy to be seen around Edward. Although you were certain he wouldn’t care, you still wanted to be precipitated as someone who was way more put together than she was. Especially to him.
The ‘him’ in question sighed, his eyes closing for a few seconds before opening again. “That’s not– You’re thinking too hard is all I’m trying to say.”
“Well then help me pick!” You huffed, crossing your arms and stepping aside. Edward sluggishly rolled off the bed, clearly annoyed you’ve disturbed him from his teacherly duties. He walked over to your closet, shuffling through a few items before settling on an old band t-shirt, one with frayed ends and holes for days, and sweatpants. He threw them at your head, covering your eyes. He was back on your bed by the time you could see again. In response, you threw a single sock at him and completely missed.
Groaning at his lack of response, you padded off to the bathroom to change, taking one final glance at his face before shutting the door. It still felt odd seeing him so often. Before the crash, all your looks were from afar and highly limited. Now, you could get away with admiring him for a good minute without Edward noticing.
You looked at yourself in the mirror, wearing Edward’s sleepwear of choice. You wished he had asked you if he could come over in advance instead of ten minutes before he actually did. Then maybe you would’ve had the opportunity to go out and buy some pyjamas from Victoria’s Secret or some other lingerie brand.
Then you thought about Bella again.
Entering the room again, Edward patted the spot beside him, urging you to sit next to him. You took the seat, your pin straight posture a stark contrast to his relaxed one.
“Bella’s okay with you being over, right?” Your voice faltering slightly.
His pen halted at your ask for a mere moment. “She’s at the reservation with Jacob Black. She’ll most likely be spending the night there.”
“Okkay…” You drawled out, accepting the answer and yawning as you copied the position he was laying in.
He continued going over the questions you’d gotten wrong, meticulously explaining each step on how to improve and what steps to take in order.
You felt your eyelids get heavier as he spoke, mostly due to boredom at the conversation topic. Simplifying algebraic fractions wasn't particularly something that kept you engaged. You nodded along with whatever Edward was saying, allowing your head to fall on the mattress and your eyes to fully close.
The next time you opened them was to the sound of morning doves tweeting through your open window. Stretching your arms over your head, a post-it note on your bedside table caught your eye.
Picking it up, the neat script written in black ink was unmistakably Edward’s.
I finished correcting your work after you fell asleep. Please take a look at the notes I have provided as well.
You smiled at the note, knowing fully well you were not going to read any of them.
Your mindless routine of getting ready was broken up by an unexpected phone call. You picked it up, holding it between your head and shoulder as you brushed your hair.
“Hello?”
“Hey. I need to talk to you.” Bella’s voice emitted from the speaker, sending a wave of shock through your body. She rarely called you.
“W–What about?”
“I need to talk in person. Meet me at the Café on Mells Avenue at twelve.”
“Sure-” She hung up before you could finish.
Arriving at the café, you’d found her sitting at one of the tables in front of the store, her arms crossed and leg bouncing.
“I need you to be honest with me.” Bella said firmly, her voice wavering as she spoke. She warmed her hands with a mug of hot chocolate.
“Yeah, of course.” You already knew what was coming. You weren’t the best at hiding your feelings, especially when your crushes girlfriend was excitedly retelling their dates.
“Do you like Edward?”
You didn’t want to admit it. Speaking it out loud was more pathetic than keeping it hidden. It meant accepting that you want someone you can’t have.
“Do I like him for you?” You put on a wide smile, one you forced to reach your eyes. “Obviously. You guys are great together.”
Bella rolled her eyes, rightfully so, and placed her mug down on the table, ignoring the provided coaster. “That’s not what I meant and you know that.”
Taking a deep breath, you nodded your head, placing your hands in your lap and fixing your posture. “I know. I’m sorry.” You played with your coats sleeves, trying to work up the nerve to say it.
“Well?” She leaned in closer, an expecting look on her face. Her eyebrows were raised, clearly in annoyance.
“I don’t.”
Bella took another large gulp of her drink, wincing slightly at the temperature. “So Jessica was wrong.”
“Yeah. She was.”
She chugged the last of her hot chocolate then stood up, her chair making an horrendous scratching sound in the process. She slung her messenger bag over her shoulder throwing a few dollar bills on the table to pay for her purchase.
You rushed to speak, knowing she’d leave any second. “I want you to know that nothing happened last night.”
“What are you talking about?” Bella stopped in her tracks, turning around to face you.
Looking everywhere but her face, you managed to squeak out a response. “He– Well– I fell asleep when he was tutoring me. He stayed the night at my place.”
Her eyes widened, she blinked multiple times, in near disbelief of what she was hearing “Since when did he tutor you?!”
“What? He said you were okay with it.”
“Well, either he lied to you or you’re lying to me.”
You buried your face in your hands. You were tired of embarrassing yourself. You thought back on every time you’d asked Edward if Bella was okay with what the two of you were doing. You’d assumed—very wrongly—that ‘she’s with Jacob’ meant that she was okay with it. As in, ‘she has guy friends, just like how I can have female friends’. You had never been more incorrect apparently.
“Admit it. You want to have sex with my boyfriend.”
You curled up into your seat, the urge to plug your ears and pretend what was currently happening, well, wasn’t, grew stronger by the second. “I don’t...”
“I don’t believe you.” She replied, staring down at you as it began to drizzle. She tilted forward, reaching for the umbrella attached to a pole going through the middle of the table. She placed her hand on the underside, opening the umbrella up and locking it. “But you wanna know what sucks the most? I want to hate you more than I do.” Rain started soaking her clothes as you remained completely dry.
You couldn’t agree more with her. You wanted to hate Bella more than anything in the world. But, she was kind and thoughtful and considerate towards others, and it was surprising you were still included in that group. Especially given the information she just found out. You wanted a reason to despise her. You wished she was a horrible person. Then you wouldn’t feel like a loser for loving Edward. Maybe you’d even feel good about it.
She walked towards her beat up Chevy, pulling the hood on her jacket over her head. She clutched her bag tightly to her side, her steps turning into a light jog as the rain picked up.
It didn’t take long for the constant chatter of passers-by to overwhelm your thoughts, sending you into a bit of a frenzy.
You felt like shit. You were a piece of shit. That was a messed up thing to do, lying to your friend like that.
Why did you do it?
You stood up, shoving your hands into your pockets as you walked away. You needed to get out of there. You needed to go somewhere quiet, and calming. Somewhere no one would find you. You needed to go to the meadow.
Getting near the point in my twilight fic where I can implement a little bit of the “vampires are actually really scary in practice” energy I wish Stephanie had included more.
small amounts of Supernatural ahh vampire energy pending.
Character in my twilight Jasper fic just point blank refuses to let go of the Emmett has a bag of eggs thing. He is SO vexed by it, he needs answers about the eggs.
I did not intend this to be a running gag, but the character demands it. Cannot wait to milk this for all its worth.
