#penis jokes

[shiftythrifting]

i found this guy at an arc thrift store! i think itd be funny to share and also find out what it's use would be... are you supposed to put something on his weenie???

you impale hot dogs on it

[twopoppies]

Would not surprise me at all

https://x.com/larrytsjwaffle/status/2033637382332027032

Oh, 1000%. He wears a golf shirt with “Dick” embroidered on his chest. The man loves a good dick joke.

x

They asked him to pick the name on his badge and you KNOW this is what he looked like

[ace-culture-is]

ace culture is: I keep making penis jokes because I'm an immature loser and my friends are like "aren't you ace" and I'm like "yeah but it's funny"

.

[nocontrolmp3]

Louis I don't care it's obvious Tomlinson - Gif Series - 1/?

When is he not thinking about Dicks?

[ask-cryptid-trio]

Totoko can be so brutal 😭😭

[narukoibito]

Prompt 15!!!!!!! (That might have been a touch too enthusiastic)

Too enthusiastic? Never!

Prompt 15: Stargazing together. A is actually smart and points out constellations, B just points up at the sky every so often and says, "That one looks like a penis" or something along those lines

-

"What's the name of the ziggy one?"

"Cassiopeia," Ginny said immediately, tracking it on her star chart.

"Well done," Harry said, impressed. He grinned, leaning over to watch her write. His presence beside her made her warm and soft inside despite the occasional brisk evening wind up in the Astronomy tower. "How do you remember all of these?"

"Not all of us just putz around with our studies," she teased, knowing it would just make him smile. "That one's easy. It reminds me of you, actually."

"Oh?" He looked at her, curiosity shining in his eyes.

"If you tilt your head, it looks a bit like a lightening." She used to wistfully looking at the sky, seeing things that reminded her of him when her crush was all-consuming.

"Think about me, do you?" he teased.

Always.

"Careful," she warned. "You'll give me another reason for Cassiopeia to remind me of you."

"What's that?"

"Your hubris."

Harry let out a puff of laughter. She grinned.

"Fitting, Potter. I bet you think all the stars are about you," Ginny mimicked Snape's waspish drawl. He laughed hard.

Harry leaned back, smiling up at the night sky. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, an old habit even though now she could look at him without pretending that she wasn't. He always seemed to be smiling these days, his posture relaxed and at ease. Her heart skipped at the thought that maybe she had a little bit to do with that.

He pointed up at the sky. "That one looks like a penis."

She burst out laughing. "You're supposed to be helping revise!"

"Who came up with that bright idea?"

Ginny snorted. He grinned back cheekily.

"Hermione'll have your hide if you make me fail my exams," she reminded him.

"Nah," he said, his shoulder brushing against hers. "You're too smart for that." He tapped on her parchment. "What is the name of the penis constellation?"

"Gemini."

They fell into rhythm, taking turns guessing first or trying to make each other laugh. ("Blegh, Draco." "Looks like a sperm." "Or micropenis.")

"And that one...er," Ginny paused. They hand landed on a big cluster of stars that was incredibly familiar, but the name seemed to elude her.

"Orion," Harry said.

"Yes," she said, glancing at him in surprise, but his gaze remained focused at the night sky. The humor in his face had faded to something more somber, even a little lost.

She bit her lip and scooted closer, which seemed to draw him out of his brief reverie. He gave her small smile before averting his gaze, suddenly seeming interested in her star chart.

"What about Orion?" she asked, her voice light as she wrote down the name.

Harry hummed. For a moment, she didn't think he would say go on. "Orion. That was Sirius's dad's name."

Ginny scrunched up her nose. "Purebloods and their need to immortalize themselves with such names."

He laughed, humorless. "Yes."

She squinted up at the sky. When she found what she was looking for, she pointed with her quill. "There."

He followed where she indicated. He turned to her, his smile soft. The blue light from the stars above glinted against his wire-rim glasses. "Yeah."

His green eyes flickered down to her lips, his hand covering hers.

"Do you...think you've done enough revising?" he breathed.

Ginny smiled and leaned in, her heart warm and full. "I thought you'd never ask."

[srldesigns6277]

………….. O…. KAY?? 

I AM affraid to ask which part of his body he did put in his face... 😳

Oh hi,

Ya it was his penis. It apparently wrapped around Louis' whole face

[mischief-night-ghost]

Neurology office waiting room thoughts:

"I would feel bad in anyone's last name was actually Ligma. Like. Doctor Ligma? I'd piss laughing if I got called for 'Mr. Thomas to Dr. Ligma's office.'."